One Step Forward, Two Smokes Back

One of the upsides of not being a serious athlete is that you can feel a little less guilty about smoking and drinking with impunity. But you can always count on certain subcultural elements to contradict even that plain truth. Bike couriers, for example. They seem to take special pleasure in doing everything, well, extreme. While a credible courier would never use that word (uncool), there is no other that adequately describes the lifestyle. A fifty-mile ride on a single-speed bike without brakes; a twelve of Pabst; a pack of American Spirits. These are core competencies.

“I don’t want to work in a box breathing recycled air. And I don’t want to drive in a box to get to that box,” said Christian Klempp the other day. He was summing up why he’s been sweating it as a Minneapolis bicycle courier and “alley cat” bike racer for the past eight years. When Klempp isn’t spinning across town with legal or architectural documents for the messenger company he co-owns, he is planning Minneapolis’s biggest alley-cat event, the Stupor Bowl.

These races are the unofficial sport of messengers everywhere: part athletic feat, part scavenger hunt, and—for those seeking the overall Stupor Bowl title—part drinking game. The eighth annual bowl is slated for the wintry Saturday of the big football game, February 5, and the hometown team always hopes for the worst possible weather. “Couriers come from all over, and we want them to see the conditions we have to work in,” said Klempp.

A large number of these courier-contestants, along with being game for your surreptitious Sno-Ball and malt liquor ingesting competition, are also smokers. Fred Eisenberey, an eighteen-year courier veteran and smoker, said “probably forty percent” of his colleagues are puffers. “It’s significantly higher than the general population.” Any random day outside Nicollet Mall’s Dunn Brothers coffee shop gives visual confirmation that these everyday athletes light up in high numbers.

In fact, the numbers were high enough to entice Canadian cigarette maker Dunhill to sponsor the Vancouver alley cat known as the Human Powered Rollercoaster in the mid-nineties. “The registration packet even included a pack of Dunhill cigarettes,” said Klempp, reminiscing about the days when tobacco manufacturers could still sponsor sporting events without shame.
Though Eisenberey concedes that smoking is part of the rebel image of the bike-messenger industry, he wishes he’d never started. He has been rolling his own for the past quarter-decade in an effort to avoid toxic glues and additives. Still, he bristles at any suggestion that he kick the habit. “Minnesota is such a ‘mommy state,’ where absolutely nothing is allowed. I mean, it took someone like Jesse Ventura to finally let us play with sparklers. Everyone here knows what is better for me, but I don’t think smoking has slowed me down much.”

It would seem that Eisenberey hasn’t been taking it slow at all. In addition to bicycling all day and in all weather, he is an active underwater hockey player and snorkeler. “I have an above-average lung capacity and always have. I’m known for spending a lot of time on the bottom of the pool. I really don’t think smoking has been as harmful to me as overeating or drinking too much.”
Smoking is not a pastime shared by many other athletes. Jay, a half-pack-a-day smoker who wished to be identified only by his first name, holds an impressive 3:14 time in the Twin Cities Marathon and doesn’t see other long-distance runners smoking at events. “It is not really the venue or location to smoke. The two activities do not go hand in hand, for obvious reasons.” Still, he occasionally lights up while waiting in line to get his race bib, just for the sadistic pleasure of seeing fellow racers clear a wide and outraged berth. “It’s obvious” that his times would be better if he never smoked, he says. But what isn’t so clear is the effect of all that healthy cardiovascular exercise on a serious smoker. Is it possible that all that vigorous exercise could somehow reverse the ill effects of continued smoking? In other words, could one cancel out the other?w

Dr. Mark Johns, a physician at St. Mary’s in Duluth, said, “I am not aware of any studies that directly address this question; however, it is interesting to note that there is data to support the use of pulmonary rehab in patients with emphysema.” While the research work from the American Thoracic Society does not indicate a survival benefit for smokers who exercise, it does show promise for an improved quality of life. So what does this mean to jocks who do indulge in smokes? Dr. Johns interpreted the data like this: “You’ll die just as soon. But hey, you’ll be happier until that day comes.”—Lucie Amundsen


Posted

in

by

Tags:

Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.