What Would Hank Hill Do?

In yesterday’s New York Times magazine, Matt Bai proposes that “South Park Conservatives” have nothing on “King of the Hill Democrats.” Bai maintains that Hank Hill is the living, breathing animation of the nation’s much-desired Nascar dad, and that Democrats like North Carolina governor Mike Easley are wise to poll their constituencies based on whether they watch “King of the Hill” or not. The idea seems to be that if Democrats seriously wish to regain relevancy to average Americans, they need to think like Hank Hill.

Like a great David Brooks column, it all sounds pretty good until you begin to pick at the rhetorical lint and the whole garment kind of unravels at your fingertips. Bai assumes that most of Hank Hills fans are a lot like Hank Hill, and to support this merengue of speculation, he offers some Nielsen demographics. These numbers say that “the largest group” of the show’s viewers are “men between the ages of 18 and 49” (that, of course, leaves out men ages 0-17, and 50-100) and that “almost a quarter of those men own pickup trucks.” Leaving aside that that is a particulary egregious sort of Brooksian leap (more women than men drive pickup trucks today, for example; there is no established precedent for rural/urban, democrat/republican ownership of pickup trucks; pickup trucks are the single best-selling model of autombile in the country–but, yeah, we all know the stereotypes, thanks very much), we hate this sort of overstatement. One quarter of the show’s male, 18-49 viewers own pickup trucks? Uh, we’re terrible at math, but the way we pencil it here on this Panera napkin, just between the soup stain and the booger of asiago, that’s… oh, roughly THE VAST MAJORITY don’t drive pickup trucks.

But OK. So let’s not get stuck on silly details. The more serious problem here is that Bai assumes people only like to watch television shows that reflect their world, their personality, their interests, and politics. Let’s just say we’re glad that huge, looming Soprano’s demographic doesn’t feel particulary disenfranchised at the moment. As a sort of innoculation against this narcissistic assumption, Bai claims that this is precisely the point–that many Americans, like Hank Hill, simply do not define their world according to the lockstep politics of Democrats or Republicans.

Bai: “Like a lot of the basically conservative voters you meet in rural America — and here’s where Democrats should pay close attention — Hank never professes an explicit party loyalty.” Uh, right. That’s sometimes referred to as the vast, uncommitted, middle-of-the-road electorate. Last time we checked, that would cover almost every sit-com charcter that ever sprang to life in the dummy box other than Alex P. Keaton.

Bai: “If Hank votes Republican, it’s because, as a voter who cares about religious and rural values, he probably doesn’t see much choice.” We don’t know what that means, other than the fact that it’s a good bet Hank eats pork.

As Bai himself admits, Fox actually seems to be phasing out “King of the Hill,” possibly ending the series after its tenth season next year. This hardly strikes us as the thing to do with such a massive, lucrative, and politically attractive demographic. TV networks, particularly cable TV networks, and even cable TV networks owned by Rupert Murdoch don’t normally discontinue popular primetime shows for frivolous reasons. If Bai really wants to keep the lost demographic in his crosshairs, why not stick with the original gold standard–Nascar (or its many automotive stand-ins)? We happened to hear this weekend that Target Corporation pays close to $30 million just to have its sticker on the hood of its Indy 500 car, and that they’re very happy with the return on this investment. That says at least as much as a season of “King of the Hill,” and the entire Nascar schedule is now covered in primetime by network TV.


Posted

in

by

Tags:

Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.