I am the queen of recurring dreams. But lately, I’m often disappointed by the obvious symbols and lack of mystery they seem to hold. It’s been so long since I’ve had one of those “What in the world do you think that means?” dreams. Also sadly lacking are the “Please don’t wake me–I’m loving this so much” dreams. I used to have those more often than not, but lately there’s been no cool flying, no stumbling upon a warehouse filled with free antiques, and no favorite recurring dream–the one in which I find myself back in Boston, where Aerosmith’s Joe Perry cooks breakfast for me shirtless.
I frequently have the “I see a tornado coming at me in the distance” dream, in which I dawdle around wasting precious time, only to find myself looking at it through a huge plate-glass picture window. Then, just as this cyclone of (mental) debris is bearing down on me, I try to outrun it. Which is futile–as everyone knows, when you need a quick getaway in dreams, you can only run as if you were sprinting through quicksand while carrying a sofabed on your back.
I also resent the hell out of the fact that half of my dreams are about working. Like this one: I’m waiting tables and the hostess has seated my entire section at once. I try to ring up orders on the cash register, but my fingers are like canned hams, unable to press one button at a time. I paw at the register like a bear. I usually wake up from work dreams feeling completely ripped off, as mentally I just pulled a seven-hour shift.
And how’s this for ridiculous: Other people are dreaming of my shortcomings and limitations. Last week a friend dreamt that I had an infant daughter who was completely verbal and capable of sarcasm. I suggested that we go get coffee, and left the baby in front of the television set. My friend was horrified, and kept insisting it might not be a good idea to leave her alone. My response was, “Nah, she can take care of herself. Besides, she’ll call me if she needs anything.” Oh, boy. Who wants me to babysit? Anyone?
Email Mary at popularcreeps at yahoo.com
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