Archives for November 2005

We're winning the war, really

It says here that everything is fine and dandy Not content to spread their bullshit just to Americans, the Bushies now are planting stories in the Iraqi press about how well it’s going over there. Unfortunately for the administration, the LA Times isn’t for sale…at least not for the pittance the military was paying to […]

As I Was Saying…

I’m not going to lie to you: I lie to you all the time. Seriously, all the time. There’s absolutely no me here. Whoever or whatever Brad Zellar is, it isn’t this. I have never, for instance, owned either a Plymouth Duster or a Scamp, let alone done any of the things I might have […]

Need For Speed — Original Version

Last week, as if you didn’t notice, the new Microsoft X-Box 360 went on sale, and serious gamers waited up until midnight for the chance to buy it. Of course, for the serious teenaged gamer who rolls out of bed at about lunchtime, midnight is the equivalent of high noon. I was not among them. […]

Beneath The Ice

Tumult, by God. I saw a burning angel, vogueing in the corn. Somewhere’s the key that fits. Something vague creaks and whispers in the night beneath the ice under which also a river shambles still. I wait for the day when these murmurs come to stay. The whole family was crazy as shithouse rats. They […]

Time Was: Recriminations

Right here where we’re standing used to be a proper god-damned street before those sons of bitches down in the state capital decided to run the interstate highway through the godforsaken middle of nowhere forty miles south of here. Used to be if you wanted to drive across the country up this way you had […]

Ruckert's Days As A Flotation Device

Ruckert told the doctor that he felt as if he had been thrown from a boat. The doctor asked if he thought he had the strength to swim. “Strength is not an issue,” Ruckert said. “It’s a matter of desire. Where would I swim to? I can see no land in any direction.” Did he […]

Our health care is killing us

I read a book by Twin Cities author Vince Flynn over the weekend called Term Limits. The book starts with the assassinations of four venal members of Congress. That didn’t surprise me so much as the reported sentiments of many of the characters of the book that killing four was a good start. I found […]

The UN and France are coming for your internet

“Of course I’m running for President. I had my teeth fixed didn’t I?” The story in the Strib stopped short of explaining what exactly it was that the darn UN was trying to do when Coleman accused it of trying to take control of the internet. I’m sure it was an insidious attempt by the […]

Meeting Mr. Mercy

For several months I had been staring at the words written in a square on the otherwise blank calendar on my kitchen wall: Meeting Mr. Mercy. I had scheduled this meeting back in the late spring, and only after a series of mysterious phone calls and false starts. Most of the phone calls would come […]

The Malliest Mall Of Them All

First I worked in this place in the Food Court that sold French fries and pretzels, for this Vietnamese guy who called himself Jose. Then I moved down another floor and worked at this place that sold nothing but total shit –no vision, none whatsoever: Rattling plastic frogs that croaked and paddled about in a […]