A Rakish Holiday: Cherries Rolling in the Snow

GONE TO HEAVEN
Northeast Minneapolis,
December 24, 2001—
Victim stated that unknown suspect entered their front yard and removed an animated Christmas ornament of an angel. Victim stated that this angel’s wings moved back and forth. Victim has no witness or suspect information.

ABANDONED VANDAL
Longfellow, Minneapolis, December 24, 2003—
Squad dispatched on a damage-to-property call. Upon arrival, officer spoke to caller, who stated that he had observed five suspects outside of his neighbor’s house. Caller stated that he heard yelling and that he observed that five suspects were damaging neighbor’s Christmas lawn display. Caller then called 911. Caller stated that he observed four suspects leave in a silver colored newer Impala after they put a light-up Rudolph in the trunk. Caller then reported that after a minute, the suspects then returned to pick up the fifth suspect, who was forgotten. Vehicle then was last seen northbound on 39th Avenue South. Officer then spoke to neighbor, who stated that his light-up Rudolph was taken and his light-up candy canes were all damaged.

DESPERATE FOR DOMESTICITY
Uptown Minneapolis,
3 p.m. December 29, 2001–
8 a.m. December 30, 2001—
Caller stated that during above time frame a videotape of Family Man was stolen from the staff office of the Hollywood video store. No suspect information.
ST. NICK ACT
Phillips, Minneapolis,
December 25, 2003—
Officer was dispatched to a rescue call on Christmas Day at the incident address. The defendant had slid down the chimney and gotten stuck. Minneapolis Fire Department Rescue responded and broke the defendant out of the chimney. Defendant was given medical treatment overnight at Hennepin County Medical Center. He was positively identified by his Minnesota driver’s license and will be charged by complaint for burglary
of a business.

INSULT AND INJURY
Longfellow, Minneapolis,
December 21, 2001—
Victim stated suspect stole his glasses and went running out of the door of his residence. Victim stated as the suspect was running down the street she was laughing and saying, “I stole your glasses.”
AWAY FROM THE MANGER
Kingfield, Minneapolis,
December 29, 2004—
Victim stated that unknown suspect(s) stole the baby Jesus doll from the victim’s nativity set, which was in the front yard. The victim stated the doll was life size and that it was chained down and wrapped in a blanket. The victim has no suspect information and was given a case number.

PROBABLY THAT LOSER WHO
ATE YOUR COTTAGE CHEESE
Downtown Minneapolis, December 23, 2002–December 31, 2002—Caller reported that she had placed a wrapped Christmas gift on a desk and left, closing the office. Caller stated that there should have been no staff in the offices through December 31. Caller stated that on December 31, when she asked the recipient to open her gift, it was discovered that someone had unwrapped the box, removed the gift, taped the box back up and left it on the desk.
Caller stated that other office personnel, the cleaning crew and security personnel have access to this office. She stated there are no security cameras in the office. She does not know of any personnel who were in this office during this period. Caller has no suspect information.

THIEVES NEED FRIENDS, TOO
Maplewood, January 29, 2003—
A homeowner did not receive holiday greetings this year from people she usually hears from and suspects she may have been the victim of mail theft.

ANXIOUS FOR END OF XMAS
Maplewood, December 26, 2003—
At 2:20 p.m., a garbage truck driver called police to report that while on his route picking up garbage in the 2100 block of 17th Avenue he found his truck was too full of post-Christmas trash to continue until he dropped the load and came back. As he drove down the street, he was flagged down by a man who insisted he take his garbage, and when he explained he would be back the man “became very upset and yelled to someone inside the house to grab his gun.” The garbage truck driver fled the scene in his vehicle and called the police on his way back to pick up the rest of the neighborhood’s garbage. He arrived as police were interviewing the resident, who claimed he hadn’t said anything about a gun and was warned about the dangers of threatening people with firearms. The driver picked up the trash without incident and went on his way.

GENDER-INAPPROPRIATE
BEHAVIOR
Maplewood, December 31, 2001—
A 22-year-old woman was arrested at 11:05 p.m. at The Rock in the 2000 block of Woodlyn Avenue for misdemeanor disorderly conduct. The woman was caught urinating in the parking lot next to her limousine.

HOUSEGUEST HEIST
Eden Prairie,
December 21–26, 2003—
A $9,000 diamond ring was taken from a house between December 21 and 26. The ring, with an 18-karat white gold band, has 27 princess cut diamonds with a 2.63-karat total diamond weight. The owner told police she had two houseguests during the Christmas holidays. After the holidays, she noticed the ring was missing from the jewelry box kept in the master bedroom.

PANTS REPLACER AT LARGE
Hopkins, December 3, 2001—Officers responded to a report that someone was entering a resident’s house at night and replacing his pants with smaller-sized trousers. Officers advised the resident on his options.

SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITY
Hopkins, December 23, 2000—Report of a male stumbling in the middle of 12th Avenue North at 11:14 p.m. carrying an armload of Christmas decorations.

 

CHRISTMAS GHOST
Hopkins, December 23, 2000—Report of burglary at residence at 11 p.m. Victim heard a crash in the basement and then footsteps. It turned out to be a box of Christmas decorations that fell down the steps.

NOVEL HITCHHIKING TECHNIQUE
Hopkins, December 27, 2001—Officers responded at 1:24 a.m. to
a report that a male was exposing himself on the ramp to Excelsior Boulevard from northbound Highway 169. The suspect was
gone when officers arrived.

CONSIDER THE CHILDREN
Eden Prairie,
December 20–21, 2001—
About $300 worth of Christmas presents were stolen from a vehicle parked in a residential garage.
Some presents were opened and left in the garage. There were no signs of forced entry into either
the garage or vehicle.
BURRITO BUST
Hopkins, January 1, 2004—
Officers responded to a domestic assault call. Officers determined there was a physical fight between two friends over a burrito. Neither person wanted to press charges.

GOING NATIVE
Shorewood, November 25, 2003—Officers responded to a report of two juveniles with a bow and arrow trying to shoot wild turkeys. Officers advised the suspects that they could not shoot wild turkeys in Shorewood. Officers confiscated bow and arrow.

Items compiled from Minneapolis police reports and from reports
in the Maplewood Review,
Lakeshore Weekly News,
and Eden Prairie News.