Swearing Allegiance


As soon as I get my teeth back in I’m gonna tell you all what you can do with your pansy anti-war act

The papers and TV are all abuzz today with the startling revelation that cussing (as we used to call it where I grew up) is becoming more and more pervasive.

I became aware of that when my son, who was then three years old, came home from day care one day and greeted me with “Fuck you, Daddy” while I was just innocently sitting there reading the newspaper.

Luckily, I was able to overcome my initial surprise and ignore it. He soon repeated it, “Fuck YOU, Daddy.” I ignored it again.

He tried again, with different emphasis, “FUCK you, Daddy.” I ignored him again.

He didn’t repeat it again within my earshot until we got into an argument about 16 years later.

He’s not a stranger to it though. When he was a Senate intern he got to witness Dick Cheney’s famous suggestion to Senator Pat Leahy that he “Go fuck yourself.”

I guess if one can talk like that on the floor of the “World’s Foremost Deliberative Body,” one shouldn’t be surprised at what the boy learned at day care.

I long for the day when I can meet Mr. Cheney in person. I don’t think I’ll have quite as much restraint as my son and Senator Leahy displayed.


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