Hi, My Name Is Melinda Jacobs

I have spent the last 15 years working as an entertainment reporter, radio personality, commercial voice-over talent.

OK, so I have a hard time using the word "talent" to describe myself, but I am professionally trained in voice, and next time you hear a commercial remember that it’s not as easy as you think to put on a "Happy Voice" and write "Happy" copy when you are having cramps and feeling moody!

My producer, Brad Lane (who is a genius), has had to edit a lot of F’s and S’s in order to make my commercials sound like I am "Happy," when I am feeling, well, "Crappy." I know…. too much information, but I promised the bosses that I would be honest and real.

With that tidbit on the table, I decided that I needed to get with the times and start blogging about my life instead of people simply reading about.. how shall I put this? … "My Social Shenanigans" in the newspaper or on websites.

The truth is, I spent years trying to prove myself as someone other than the daughter of Irwin Jacobs, and since I recently turned 40, I figured it was time to grow up and not use my personal background as a shield, but rather as a window into this crazy world that I call "MY Life as a Social Butterfly" when I feel like it.

My first assignment for The Rake was to attend a fund-raiser called the
Butterball and give my take.

The evening started off with an invite-only cocktail party at the home of Cheryl Tiegs (yes, the supermodel) and her significant other, Dan Buettner (the man unlocking the secrets to happiness and longevity).

My husband and I had no address, so after driving around the Lakes looking for a home lit up with a lot of cars and knocking on the door of anyone who looked like they were having a party, we finally spotted the one home that was not lit up but had a lot of cars out front. Before we knew it, we were at the home of the supermodel and her Super Hunk.

Yes, you read that right: Dan Buettner is a tall dark Super Hunk.

Cheryl? Well, she is tall and pretty but very guarded, which I am sure stems from years of having to be friendly to strangers, especially strangers in her OWN home.

Now you have to understand — after telling my husband of 18 years that the least he could do is drop me off close to the house, since I was NOT wearing a coat and WAS wearing ridiculously high heels, Howard reminded me to get over myself and that I was on an assignment.

After a quick reality check, I walked into this not flashy but very interesting home with an eclectic and organic feel, decorated with art and knickknacks clearly reflective of the beautiful couples’ worldly travels.

Candles were lit everywhere.

Now for those of you who are not familiar with lighting, candlelight is the best lighting and makes EVERYONE look soft and fuzzy. Do you see where I am going with this? — a former Super Model who, after years in the spotlight, knows how to make everyone else look their best.

I wandered around looking for a story, an angle, something that I could share with you about this night.

I found it, but it wasn’t the home of Cheryl Tiegs and Dan Buettner. It was the guest Chef, who I swear must never sleep. Andrew Zimmern the man I call King of All Media, because everywhere I look there is Andrew in magazines, on the radio, and now the darling of The Food Network. Just as the man that coined the term "Bam", Emeril Lagasse, ends his ten-year relationship with the Food Network, in comes the man who doesn’t need a coin phrase to describe his world as a Foodie, because Andrew Zimmern is one of the most intelligent, witty, self deprecating, and most important nice guys I know.

I first met Andrew years ago when I filled in as a producer at FOX 9. At that time he was Chef Andrew, who gave tips on cooking.

I remember thinking even than that this is not just a local chef with good tips, but a skillfully spoken and knowledgeable man who was justing getting started, and the world of media was his oyster.

OK, that is the best I could come up with. 🙂

While I was dying to eat one of the delicious appetizers, it was clear that… again, I am dressed up and wearing red lipstick with a mouth full of Altoids… and that meant testing the food wasn’t an option. Vain, yes, but who wants to converse with a woman that has garlic breath and red lipstick smeared all over her face?

Oh, come on; you all know what I am talking about. You go to a party and you start talking to someone who you just don’t have the nerve to tell that there is a 5-foot rule and they just stepped over it by breathing on you with "party breath" and "schmutz" all over themselves.

Well, with compact in hand and a last peak to make sure that I wasn’t going to scare off my subject, I asked Andrew if I could get an interview with him and maybe even pull out a morsel of something that no one knows — which I did, and you can check it out on my video (in the left column).

You are probably wondering why I wasn’t racing off to interview Cheryl
Tiegs. Well, the truth is that when she started to ask me where I was from and that she preferred still shots, I realized that this is a seasoned woman who didn’t want to talk on camera. Considering she opened up her home to strangers, including me, I respected her wishes.

Dan, on the other hand, was on his game.

He did an interview with me, but unfortunately, I was working with a new
camera and didn’t bother to read the manual. In other words, the video of our conversation stunk due to my lack of skills with technology.

I can share with you this and that: Dan told me that he loves traveling the world and finding people in what he calls "Blue Zones," where the men and woman live long and fulfilling lives without all of the distractions we as American’s can’t live without: fast food, cell phones,computers, TV…… a technology-free life filled with joyful moments and the taste of fresh fruit from the trees and music without
instruments. I can only dream…………..

Before I left the Tiegs-Buettner home I decided that I needed to use the restroom. Well truthfully I didn’t NEED to use the bathroom, but I did want to see what the guest bathroom looked like because I have always adhered to the philosophy that bathrooms say a lot about the homeowners — which was clear from this bathroom.

Here is the hand towel for washing up.

 

 

Maybe it’s just me, but I was a bit confused by the saying on this hand towel, and I already know how tacky it was for me to put it in my purse and take it. (It is a disposal towel, at least; it’s not like I was stealing cloth towels.) But I felt in order to prove that I was actually at the home of Cheryl Tiegs and Dan Buettner I needed evidence.

After the pre-exclusive party, it was off to the Graves Hotel, where I was given a wristband that meant no lines. I won’t apologize for being given this wristband, because the truth is, I hate waiting in line (that’s my entitlement background showing through).

The place was packed, which was great for Open Arms, the wonderful organization benefiting from this sold out event.

As Howie (my husband) and I made our way through the crowds I spotted a lot of familiar faces: Norm Coleman, Cindy Brucato, Billy Beson and Mike Pomeranz of KARE 11. The last time I saw Mike was at the Celebrity Cow Milking contest at the Minnesota State Fair. For the record I kicked his butt, and he kicked mine when he asked me what I was filming this for.

Here is the deal with the Minnesota version of local celebrities: You
are not allowed to question free PR unless you are well.. Prince. That is my rule and I am sticking to it, so no video of you Mr. Pomeranz.

I know this sounds mean, but as someone who is now going to travel into the world of spotlighting people on my blog, I have made the decision to highlight people who feed into the Minnesota Nice Myth,
because after all, let’s face it’s, slim pickens in this town for Real celebrities. Whether you’re at the top or the bottom of the celebrity list, if you see me coming with my camera either run the other direction or give this rookie blogger a break and talk to me. I promise you that I will use the 5-foot rule with all of my subjects, and if I step over it feel free to live by the example of Cheryl Tiegs and let me know that you kindly prefer your space.

Respectfully,

Melinda Jacobs

Note to all English Teachers: Only read this if you are willing to overlook my made up words, because to quote my Grandmother Mildred: "I really need to get a better command of the English Vocabulary."


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