Noam Chomsky says a well-informed
populace is a necessary ingredient to any democracy. In other words,
we’re boned.

Newspaper readership is down,
and showing no signs of reversing the freefall. And since
they’re not reading, Americans are forced to rely on such reliable
political indicators as gut instinct, party affiliation, and the ever
popular "he’s kinda cute in a presidential way" vote. Even more
frightening, any attempts to address the problem have only compounded
the issues.

Here in Minnesota, redesigning
our leading paper to include coloring
by Crayola, naturally) hasn’t done a whole hell of a lot to improve
the landscape, as evidenced by the recent layoffs (which Sid Hartman’s
"close personal friendship" with Lovecraftian Powers have shielded him from, to date) and
consolidation. Of course, this is further evidenced by the fact that C.J. still writes
a gossip/grammar column

for the Star Tribune, no one actually reads the City Pages for anything
but restaurant
, advice on safe B&D play, and where to find the
aforementioned B&D play
and the
Pioneer Press
well, the Pioneer Press is in St. Paul. I hear they have hockey there
these days.


But what does this mean? What doom and plagues could something as innocuous as poor
newspaper readership and content as fluffy as Anne Hutchinson left in the dryer for a day and a
half bring down on our tranquil Midwestern existence? At best – a
zombie apocalypse. At worst…a future in which Katherine Kersten serves
as the Star Tribune’s first ever Page 3 girl. The truth is likely somewhere in
the middle of these bleak predictions, but do you really want to risk

Granted, I’ve already engaged
in three of the five cardinal blogger clichés (bonus points to anyone
who can name them in the comments below!), so I’ve probably already
blown my wad of credibility into the digital Kleenex that is the Internet,
but for the next week I’ll be doing my best to stave off the impending
holocaust of the walking dead and mind-rending photography by taking
a fresh look at the news of the day and providing some analysis. Or
at least offer completely unconstructive viewpoints and commentary.
And since I have nothing but disdain for Democrats, Republicans, Anarchists,
Green Party members and those wacky Independence Party hosers (they’re
Canadians, right? Only Canadians would put forth him as a gubernatorial candidate), I don’t
have to choose my targets carefully. Or even aim, really.