Author: Shannon Olson

  • Showtime!

    Late last year, toy giant Mattel and media behemoth Clear Channel Entertainment breathlessly announced the formation of an “acclaimed, award-winning creative team to bring ‘Barbie™ Live in Fairytopia!™’ to stages across north America.” For the first time ever (!), Barbie’s tiny, impossibly three-dimensional form (by most estimates, a 39-21-33 D-cup) will be springing to life…

  • Slim Janes

    Maybe you’ve seen the new billboards on Snelling, Grand, or Highway 94: “Banana Chips Can Cause Figure Skating,” and “Fun-Size a Cow”—ads enjoining us to rediscover or reconsider the meat snack, those salty mystery sticks most of us save for camping trips or are storing for the apocalypse. Those tough, pungent treats most of us…

  • The Technology of Spirit

    Offering perhaps conclusive proof that fewer Americans are reading these days, Best Buy’s health and wellness retail experiment, called Eq-Life, will soon occupy the space vacated by Grand Avenue’s now defunct independent bookstore, Bound to Be Read. It’s worth noting that about a mile down the street, the space left open by Ruminator’s closure is…

  • Retail Therapy

    Maybe I’m just jealous because my therapist has never given me a flat-screen TV, but it seemed that for a while, every time I turned on the Dr. Phil show, someone who’d struggled to face his or her demons was being rewarded with merchandise from Circuit City or a travel package from Orbitz.com. I’ve long…

  • Random Blackouts

    One Sunday evening in June, three regular guys are settled into a corner of the bar at Figlio in Uptown, within spitting distance of one of the room’s three flat-screen televisions. On the tube: men’s beach volleyball on Fox Sports. My friend and I plant ourselves across from them, armed with a stealthy little device…

  • The Elusive Lingerie Dude

    Last year, Bob Dylan turned up in a Victoria’s Secret ad, and I’ve been troubled about it ever since. On a possibly related note, a couple of friends recently mentioned their discomfort with “the dudes who seem to be permanently wandering” the larger lingerie departments, who don’t seem to be shopping or accompanying anyone in…