The Rake Magazine

Dear Mom and Dad,

How two people who still use a rotary dial telephone dare claim to be the "new 30" is beyond me. And that old red Chrysler you drive is so ancient I actually saw one in the museum! You'd better behave yourselves when you're in Paris in April. No singing in the rain, no dancing, no jumping; don't lose your heads. As for you, Mom, keep that cane with you at all times — one end in your hand and the other on something solid.

xxxo

your loving daughter