The Rake: The Rakish Angle

Solstice Film Festival — It's a Killer

Cristina Cordova — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 01:15:45 -0500

Killer Movie, a tongue-in-cheek story of a reality television shoot in a northern border town that goes terrifyingly awry, will open the third annual Solstice Film Festival (June 19-21) at Galtier Plaza in downtown St. Paul. The movie premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival (founded by Robert De Niro and Jane Rosenthal) in New York last month, but this will be its Minnesota premiere—a fitting start as it was shot almost entirely in Minnesota.

Bikram Blues

Cristina Cordova — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 00:52:00 -0500

It's 105 degrees in here, and I can't place the smell. Somewhere between hot feet and freshly popped kettle corn. Not distractingly smelly, but enough to remind me that I'm not at the Y, and I didn't fall asleep in the sauna. This is Bikram Yoga.

Living the Dream

Cristina Cordova — Tue, 20 May 2008 17:27:27 -0500

Taghazout, Morocco — It's a postcard Malibu Beach view from the second floor balcony of a reclusive African surf camp. There's a warm breeze. A few rocks and a broken formation of surfers crown the sea. The offbeat tinkle of a distant camel bell mixed with cries from trinket vendors is the lazy rhythm on this beach. The scene is so exotic you want to keep it a secret — then again, it's such a beautiful place, you have to tell someone.

Mikenastics: 50 Years and Tumbling

Cristina Cordova — Fri, 16 May 2008 23:52:32 -0500

They don't know what to expect, and why would they, they're just passing by with dogs or strollers on this sleepy Coon Rapids sidewalk, and out of nowhere a stout bald man wearing nothing but cutoff jeans or tight shorts comes bolting down the side yard, throws his hands forward, leaps toward a padded sawhorse, and, if all goes well, flips up and lands on his feet.

Franco-American Relations, Indeed

Cristina Cordova — Thu, 08 May 2008 15:19:20 -0500

A smattering of bonjours and soft smiles accompanied the light, nervous energy that breezed through the Alliance Française this particular Monday morning. Huge croissants and berries lay untouched on the table as hosts and hostesses pinned tricolored nametags to their jackets and blouses.

From Devil's Food to the Dark Side

Cristina Cordova — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 11:11:00 -0500

Betty Crocker is perfect. She bakes flawless pies and gives sage advice, such as: "A fricasse without dumplings is like a wedding without a bride." Also, unlike another domestic goddess that we know of, she's never been in the slammer. It's easy to be the perfect woman, though, when you don't actually exist. An invention of General Mills, Crocker was created to sell flour and serve as the company's face.

The Art of Coffee

Cristina Cordova — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 13:23:18 -0500

Sea green walls, worn wood floors, granite table tops, and ruby red chairs surround the counter. It looks and feels like any other coffee house, but what happens behind the bar only happens at Kopplin’s Coffee.

The Men Who Sold the World

Cristina Cordova — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 12:41:38 -0600

Two men. Father and son. One dead, one living. Both entertainers, choosing different paths in show business to make their mark. The father was Mel Jass, television ad man without peer, best remembered as the host of Matinee Movie and the Wonderful World of Movies with Mel Jass on WTCN Channel 11 (later KARE-11).

Attack on the Border

Cristina Cordova — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 16:13:31 -0600

By the disposition of officials in the Colombian border town of Ipiales early on Saturday, March 1, one never would have guessed what happened only hours earlier, roughly 200 km south, near the Ecuadorian town of Angostura.

Creep Show Couture

Lisa Pahl — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 15:35:13 -0600

“Do you ladies sew?” asked Rae Lundquist, a five-foot, fifty-something with a confident manner and long, silvering brown hair falling past her waist. Lundquist serves as costume director of MarsCon, a sci-fi convention that celebrates its tenth anniversary this month. As part of her duties, she had organized an educational field trip for her fellow costumiers.

Simulated Madness

Lisa Pahl — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 14:59:12 -0600

Who could forget the game last December when Douglas Stewart, the low-scoring walk-on from Minneapolis, stepped out from the shadows of his all-conference teammates to lead the Annapolis Fightin’ Crabs to a national championship?

You’re forgiven if you don’t follow the defending champs; they don’t, alas, exist in the realm people persist in calling the “real world,” but rather as data warriors in the complex alternate universe that is SimulatedSports.com College Basketball.

“We Can’t Really Control it Yet.”

Lisa Pahl — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 15:12:30 -0600

“Johnson is our name, cheering is our game!” The chants of a cheerleading squad echoed faintly inside Colin Denis’s classroom one winter afternoon at John A. Johnson High School in St. Paul’s inner-city Payne-Phalen neighborhood. Denis, looking the very epitome of a high-school science teacher with his wispy hair, thick glasses, and lab coat, collected papers from two lingering students. “OK,” Denis told them, “now I’ll take you down to see the robot.” The girls giggled with excitement.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

Lisa Pahl — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 15:20:50 -0600

Sally Strle was showering in her house in Virginia, Minnesota, when the vision appeared in her mind: an open Bible with the words Rest On His Word scrolled on the pages and a pillow adorned with Catholic art and scripture.

“I could see the beautiful pictures, even the phrase ‘Rest On His Word’ there, and I knew that God was calling me to do this business,” recalls Sally, fifty-four, a full-time mother and grandmother.

Stupid Is as Stupid Does

Lisa Pahl — Wed, 20 Feb 2008 14:50:52 -0600

A story appeared in The New York Times on Valentine’s Day with the headline “Dumb and Dumber: Are Americans Hostile to Knowledge?” It cited several recent books that bemoan America’s seeming self-satisfaction in the knowledge, that, well, we don’t need no knowledge, ’cause we’re Amurricans.

Suffer the Children

Lisa Pahl — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 14:58:03 -0600

The holiday spirit had barely dissipated last month when close to one-hundred-fifty people took to the streets to protest budget cuts for early childhood education. One protester was apparently so distressed by the lack of resources that she wailed and threw herself on her knees. Others tried to help her up, but she let her body go limp like an obstinate child. She was, in fact, four years old.

A Taste of Springs to Come

Lisa Pahl — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:04:31 -0600

During a recent visit to the research and development laboratory at Dairy Queen’s international headquarters, a row of soft-serve ice cream machines stood disconcertingly silent. The waffle irons and the commercial-grade mixers were unplugged, and no syrups or candies were being tested in the refractometer, the colorometer, or the texturometer.

Discounting the Value of Work

Lisa Pahl — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 14:37:11 -0600

Every month or two a Costco coupon book arrives in the mail. Unlike the usual crap in most direct mail envelopes, the Costco book contains at least twenty coupons for stuff we actually use at our house: shampoo, Kleenex, garbage bags, dishwashing liquid. I usually look forward to my semi-monthly Costco runs, and do so even more when I’ve spent the night before tearing out a fist full of coupons.

“Open-Source Christianity”

Lisa Pahl — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 15:10:54 -0600

The place was mostly filled up by five o’clock, with solemn-eyed hipsters, middle-schoolers, and graying seniors seated on a motley assortment of older sofas arranged in rings. Wine bottles and plump bread loaves sat on scattered coffee tables, which, along with antique rugs and lamps, contributed to the overall feel of a living room (albeit a sizable one). A man with slicked-back salt-and-pepper hair half-shouted greetings to a gangly youngster.

Xbox and Body Bags

Lisa Pahl — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 14:50:44 -0600

I opened the door to hear, “Stop! Don’t come in! I’m jacking off!” My roommate was leaving to go back to the States in thirty minutes, but apparently he felt the need to do it one last time before he left. And there he was, wearing nothing but a University of South Carolina Gamecocks hat, rolled onto his stomach in pure terror that I had caught him.

“You’ve got five minutes!” I said.

Childhood ... for Grownups

Cristina Cordova — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 16:04:13 -0600

Chuck & Buck, a somewhat underrated 2000 film that was one of the first major releases shot on digital video, revolves around Buck, a 27-year-old man (Mike White) who, for all intents and purposes, is an 11-year-old boy. He perpetually sucks on Blow Pops, fills his room with toys, wears ill-fitting windbreakers, and speaks to other adults in a simplistic, gee-whiz monotone.

Take a Hit

Cristina Cordova — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 11:45:24 -0600

That first hit made my brain tingle. And so, a few days later, I found myself reaching again for the can of enriched oxygen—just a few huffs before heading to the gym. Normally, those initial minutes of exercise are somewhat skull-rattling. On this occasion, however, I bounced along the cushioned surface of a gentle high, as if my heavy head had somehow emptied, as if I’d resumed that habit from junior high: sucking sweet, buoying helium whenever I got the chance.

I Like Candy

Cristina Cordova — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 12:11:02 -0600

The Doom Boom

Cristina Cordova — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 11:51:09 -0600

Echo Bodine, a south Minneapolis psychic, sees it in people’s auras. She sees it in the number of angels and spiritual guides hovering around the living (“So many!”). She sees it in the number of calamities and catastrophes, and the number of people laid off, divorced, and dying.

An Ocean Away

Cristina Cordova — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 11:55:49 -0600

Darfur, Minnesota, population 137, doesn’t have a newspaper or a café, but news still gets around. Ask at the bank, and they’ll show you the town’s hundred-year anniversary publication, which lists the history and members of every club, business, and family who’s been here since 1903. And if there’s important news for everyone in town, they just print it on the water bill. Still, before 2003, it’s doubtful that many people here knew that their town shared a name with a region in western Sudan.

My Friend Larry

Cristina Cordova — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 11:38:20 -0600

Larry Berle is perhaps the friendliest guy on the planet. He seems to know everyone I know, plus most everyone else, too. He accomplishes this in a couple of ways. He gets you to introduce all your friends to him, and then he actually remembers their names, what they do, where their kids go to school, and genuinely is interested in learning more about them.

And he plays golf.

Jet Trash

Cristina Cordova — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 12:05:00 -0600

Every day, a hundred thousand people travel through the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport, lugging an astonishing quantity of stuff. They leave for vacations, board connecting flights, and come home from business trips. About 5,000 times a year, they leave things behind. They leave cell phones and carry-ons. They leave prayer rugs and acupuncture instruments and snow shovels. They leave rings on the edge of sinks.

Higher than Fi

Cristina Cordova — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 23:02:21 -0600

The European sun shines on James Coburn, his lean frame in a white Mod jacket with red turtleneck. Putting on enormous sunglasses and flashing his classic chops, he sidles out of the palm-tree fringed villa, where he has just spent the night with Monica Vitti, and slips into his silver Ferrari. Bound for another criminal adventure involving diamonds, art, or cold hard cash, he speeds onto a cliff-side road, which just happens to overlook an endless body of crashing blue water.

Kicking the Reading Habit

Cristina Cordova — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 15:23:38 -0600

The wailing and gnashing of teeth continues unabated at the Strib and other print publications these days. A report from ABC, the company that audits the circulation of the Strib and most other daily newspapers, just noted that most daily newspapers’ circulation was down again. The Strib was down over six percent.

The Cat Who Outlived Christ

Cristina Cordova — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 15:35:12 -0600

“Baby” is thirty-seven years old. This is the claim of one Al Palusky, of Duluth, who considers the black, long-haired cat to be his best friend. This is not news to Al’s wife Mary. “When we were married Al’s priest told him that he couldn’t call Baby his best friend anymore,” she said. Al just shrugged and added, “It’s true, he’s still my best friend.”

Renaissance Man

Cristina Cordova — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 15:27:14 -0600

A tall man in his mid-forties with long wavy hair, a full beard, and round glasses, Richard Griffith has something of a troubadour’s air about him, which is appropriate given his status as a full-time lutenist. Since live lute music is no longer the draw it was five hundred years ago, Griffith has added a few extras to his act: poetry, prose, and prestidigitation. To the extent that the Upper Midwest has a market niche for a lute-playing illusionist, Richard Griffith owns that niche.