The Rake Magazine

Month: July 2007

  • Lemon or sugar in your Zin?

    I ran across this refreshingly blasphemous article in Denver’s Rocky Mountain News, titled Putting a Cork in Wine Snobs. It’s a good read and underscores a few of the points I’ve been making. Among them:

    The phrase room temperature refers to the cool interior of a drawing room in the French Alps, not a 90-degree kitchen in the muggy Midwest.

    Screwcaps are all the rage — even among some fine winemakers — and tend to keep the product pure. Also, aseptic packaging of less expensive wines (think juice boxes, only bigger) is an up-and-coming trend.

    Glassware isn’t all that. Sure, there’s a certain aesthetic to Riedel that many people find appealing. But the complicated parade of different sizes and shapes isn’t necessary. Just make sure your glass is GLASS (not plastic, styrofoam, or waxed, all of which leach flavor), cool to the touch and clean.

    Keep in mind, I don’t endorse every fragment of this wine columnist’s irreverent, myth-busting advice. For example, she recommends sweetening wine to taste, with sugar — or sharpening it up with a squeeze of lemon juice. Also zapping reds in the microwave to “round out” their fruit.

    I’m all for making wine more approachable. But personally, I think I’ll reserve my tea service for Earl Grey and my microwave for thawing big hunks of frozen meat.

    However, I just may get a box of wine and a fancy glass straw and take them along to the fireworks tonight.

  • Picosa: Everybody wants to get lucky

    The waiters at Picosa wear black t-shirts with a sleek dancing nymphette logo on the front, and a legend on the back that says either “He hopes she’s dirty” or “She hopes he’s rich.”
    So, it’s a safe bet that the clientele isn’t coming to the new restaurant/bar in Riverplace in search of gastronomic thrills. More likely they come for the dj, and the dancing and the tropical cocktails, or they come to get lucky.

    I came hoping that Picosa, with its Nueva Latina menu, would be another restaurant of the caliber of El Meson and Cafe Ena. No such luck. It’s still early days, but nothing I have tasted so far even comes close – the crisp masa empanadas were mostly dough with very little crab and shrimp filling; the mariquitas (fried green plantain chips) tended to stick together, and the tomatillo duck soup had an uncanny resemblance to Dinty Moore beef stew. A salad of jicama, chayote, mango and cilantro in a spicy mango salsa sounded promising, but was overwhelmingly tart and spicy. The entrée of pan-seared shrimp in mango chili salsa was similar – too tart and spicy to enjoy, and the half-dozen medium-sized shrimp seemed disconnected from the rest of the dish. Service was slow and a bit flaky. On the plus side, the outdoor patio offers a great view of the river and downtown skyline, and great people-watching.

    And I’m going to at least give the cuisine another try – who knows, I might get lucky.

    65 Main Street S.E., Minneapolis, www.picosarestaurant.com.

  • Animals, Music, Rides, and Fireworks

    Happy 4th of July! Don’t forget to take a moment to consider the lost ideal behind the holiday. OK. Just a moment, though. You’ve got a lot to do today, so you want to get an early start.

    wp_fireworks_dual3.jpg

    ANIMALS & FAMILY
    For the Bears

    Grab some breakfast and head over to the Como Park Zoo to watch polar bears Neil and Buzz celebrate their independence (ha!) by devouring edible flags and cake. Yes, eat those flags! Doesn’t that kind of go against the grain of the holiday? Anyway, it’s certainly an unusual way to start your day, and you can stick around for Sparky the Sea Lion’s show at 11:30.

    10:30 a.m., Como Park Zoo, 1225 Estabrook Dr., Saint Paul; 651-487-8200; free.

    If you have kids (1-9) with you, you’re in luck. Make their day with a short jump to Como Town for their own celebration. It just opened a couple of months ago, and this is the perfect day to treat the young ones. If they’re dressed in red, white, and blue they’ll have double the fun (and probably come back doused from the water balloon war).

    Make it a full day if you like. Heck, you’re already here. Get some grub and have yourself a little picnic by the Como Lakeside Pavilion. Rest your feet a while as you settle in to the music of the Como “Pops” Ensemble at 3 p.m., and United We Sing at 7 p.m.

    TRADITIONAL
    Haven’t We Seen This Before?

    If you’ve got a hankering for a more traditional way to start this great 4th of July, then head over to — that’s right — Edina for their Fourth of July Parade. This’ll be your typical white middle-(to upper)-class American fare, with marching youth, a police pipe band, aqua jesters, and cheerleaders. Woo-hoo! The parade departs from City Hall at 10 a.m., and proceeds about a mile east to 50th & France. The evening’s fireworks display will take place further south, at Rosland Park.

    Of course, there are a number of these typical Midwest celebrations around town today. See below for more.

    HISTORY
    What’s It All About?

    If you’re more of a history buff — maybe this holiday actually means something to you other than BBQ, beer, and pretty, bright lights — then our Historic Fort Snelling provides the perfect setting to start the day. Celebrate Independence Day military style with cannon salutes, patriotic speeches, theatrical presentations, a military dress parade, patriotic and military fife and drum music, period games, and dancing with the residents of the frontier fort.

    10 a.m. to 5 p.m., Historic Fort Snelling, Hwys 5 & 55 near the airport, St. Paul; 612-726-171; $8 (seniors/college students $6, youth $4, children and MHS members free.

    For a non-military, old-school celebration with a little bit of history, join the Farmer’s Fourth of July celebration at the Kelley Farm. Bring a picnic lunch and enjoy the farm while animals and costumed staffers dance around the lawn. There’ll be 19th-century games (including Townball, a precursor to baseball) and oratory, as well.

    10 a.m. – 5 p.m., Oliver H. Kelley Farm, Hwy 10, Elk River; 763-441-6896; $7 (seniors/students $6, youth $4, children free).

    FIREWORKS
    Cut to the Chase

    Fireworks. Fireworks. Fireworks. Obviously, it’s all about the fireworks tonight. And considering the crowds at some of these events, you might want to consider getting some place nice and early and staking your claim as in the old frontier. Lay down the blankets and belongings and linger in the area, enjoying the great outdoors as you wait for the sun to fall and be replaced by gunpowder — “The bombs bursting in air.” Now you’re feeling patriotic, aren’t you? (Not so much?)

    For a metro area fireworks display map see here.

    Meanwhile, here are some of the places you can consider:

    Minneapolis Red, White, and Boom!
    Meet me down by the river sometime after 3 p.m. I’ll be celebrating this year’s Fourth of July on the Minneapolis Riverfront with music at St. Anthony Main and fireworks at 10 p.m.

    A Taste of Minnesota
    Celebrate on Harriet Island with great food and three stages of ongoing entertainment for both kids and adults from 1 to 10 p.m. Tonight’s the last night of ATaste of Minnesota, so the energy is bound to soar. And while they’ve had fireworks every evening, tonight will be the end all.

    Lake Minnetonka
    Stick by the water, where the fireworks are bolder. The all-day celebration in Excelsior Commons Park (8 a.m. – 10 p.m.) features a 10K race, a kids’ parade and concert, fishing and sandcastle contests, teen bands, and music from the Minnesota Orchestra, topped off by fireworks.

    Powderhorn Park
    Enjoy music, food, and fireworks from 4 p.m. to nightfall.

    Woodbury
    Ojibway Park will feature a little Duke Ellington-style swing by the Red Rock Swing Band from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m., followed by fireworks.

    St. Louis Park
    Aquila Park will host some good old rock-n-roll by Stevie and the Table Rockers, with fireworks around 10 p.m.

    Roseville
    Central Park (2540 Lexington Ave.) will have entertainment by the Splatter Sisters, the HeBeGB’s, the Roseville Big Band, and the Roseville Community Band, from 11 a.m. to 11 p.m., followed by fireworks.

    Eagan
    Central Park will have carnival rides, food, bingo, a car show, and music after a 10 a.m. community parade down Yankee Doodle Road (so appropriate!). The evening’s fireworks display will come immediately after a Tim Mahoney concert.

    Chanhassen
    The City Center Park celebration begins with an adult fishing contest at 7:30 a.m. (which you’ve probably already missed), and continues with numerous activities all around the area. Enjoy a treasure hunt, a car show, food, performances, music, rides, and fireworks.

    Valleyfair
    Of course, if you really want rides, then celebrate the day at the amusement park. You can spend the entire day or just make an evening of it. For half the price, you can go after 5 p.m., enjoy the rides, and end the affair with fireworks. I guarantee the line for the ferris wheel is going to be long just before 10 p.m., so get there early and watch it all from the sky.

  • Table for One?

    Soooo, let me add my two cents worth to my esteemed colleague Ann Bauer’s posting on the Table for One topic (see below): I’d recommend any of the places that have counter service. My top pics these days would include the Chef’s Teller Counter at BANK, in the new Westin Hotel in downtown Minneapolis, the counter at Solera (for tapas), and the cucina counter facing the kitchen at Pazzaluna in downtown Saint Paul. And then, of course, there are the sushi bars – my favorites these days include Midori’s Floating World (3011 27th Ave.S., Minneapolis, and the quirky Mount Fuji in Maple Grove.

  • Singleton to Pioneer Press: Bend Over

    Reporters and other Guild employees at the St. Paul Pioneer Press got their first look at the totality of the plan owner Dean Singleton and his privately-held MediaNews group has in store for their next contract. That assumes of course you can call what Singleton wants from the Pioneer Press a “contract.”

    By the time you scan down a long, Draconian list of demands, cuts, concessions and give-backs MediaNews’ “proposals” walk and talk more like disincentives than reasons to stay with the paper.

    If you think I’m being alarmist, here is an overview of MediaNews’ proposal:

    * Eliminate HealthPartners as a choice for health insurance coverage. All employees would be offered the same plan, which could be changed without negotiation with the Guild. (Under the current contract, employees who choose HealthPartners accept higher monthly premiums, while the company’s contribution to the premium is capped.)

    * Reduce the amount of sick time and short- and long-term disability leave available to employees by eliminating the current Guild policy. The company did not immediately give details of the policy that would replace the Guild policy, other than to say it is the same as what is offered to non-union workers. These policies affect both people who have unexpected, serious illnesses and women who go on leave following childbirth.

    * Eliminate the right to daily overtime. Overtime would only be paid only to employees who work more than 40 hours in one week.

    * Eliminate “call-back” overtime, now available to employees called in to work for more than two hours on what had been a scheduled day off. The company wants to pay those employees only straight time.

    * Freeze future accrual of pension benefits.

    * Eliminate current vacation policy and replace with “earn-as-you-go” accrual. Under the current accrual policy: Employees in 2007 are earning vacation to be taken in 2008. This 2008 vacation time is yours; if you leave the company before the end of 2007, the company will pay you your accrued 2008 vacation along with any unused 2007 vacation. Under the company’s proposal: Employees would be earning 2007 vacation time in 2007; if you left before the end of the year, the difference between the amount of time taken and earned in a given year would be paid in — or, presumably, taken from — the employee’s last paycheck. Total accrued vacation is considered an accounting liability for the company; eliminating the policy results in a one-time savings.

    * Allow for-cause drug testing.

    * Allow sales representatives to be disciplined for not meeting sales goals.

    * Eliminate the evergreen clause and add a clause that would give the company broad “management-rights” authority to set and change schedules, rules and assignments, without Guild involvement.

    * Eliminate the restriction that prevents the company from making ownership of a car a condition of employment.

    * Eliminate newsroom team leaders from Guild coverage.

    * Exclude from union membership people who work for online and niche publications.

    * Remove required preference for internal applicants when hiring.

    * Remove the right of a Guild member to return to a previous position after being promoted to a job for which they are later deemed unqualified.

    * Remove restrictions prohibiting the company from making a full-time position a part-time position without Guild agreement.

    * Reduce the minimum level of required Guild membership in editorial and advertising departments.

    * Eliminate provisions for minimum sales commissions and specified benefits for advertising staff.

    * Reduce severance from 38 to 12 weeks and pay only to laid-off employees.

    * Create a two-tier wage scale, under which new hires would reach top minimum pay after three years of service, not six. (Specific wages not yet offered.)

    * Reduce mileage reimbursement to 35 cents per mile, from the IRS-determined level, now 48.5 cents per mile.

    * Eliminate provision that prohibits reporters and photographers from being required to do each other’s work.

    * Allow factors other than seniority to be taken into account when making layoffs.

    * Eliminate restrictions on hiring freelancers and stringers.

    * Eliminate health-care eligibility for future retirees.

    PiPress Guild officer Jack Sullivan tried to maintain a civil tone as he reacted to the gantlet of hits. Still, he described it as, “The most thorough assault on everything that is good about working at the Pioneer Press.”

    He added that if it is enacted as MediaNews would like, “It would offer no reason for experienced reporters to stay and no incentive to come here is you’re a talented younger reporter.”

    Sullivan says, “I had 10 years experience before I came here, [the last year and a half in DC with the AP], and I can tell you I wouldn’t have done it if this was contract in place.”

    Those of you sympathetic to management’s view that the bottom has already fallen out of the newspaper business and the best anyone can hope for now is a salvage operation run with skeleton staffs and minimal resources, will read Sullivan and dismiss his view as negotiating hyperbole. But it is my view — consider the source here — that Sullivan is being more rational than histrionic.

    All the catty jabs thrown at reporters withstanding, about how lazy they are and what a cushy deal they’ve had with all their union protections and benefits, the fact is most of them are brighter-than-average white collar workers with sufficient talents to do reasonably well in PR, shilling for frozen burritos, miracle beauty aids, investment firms and generally adding to the giant megaphone of quasi-to-non-factual communications clogging our cultural atmosphere.

    Overall effect: Fewer facts. More spin.

    A “deal” like what MediaNews is “proposing” presents adults working for newspapers, people with children, mortgages and college tuition bills a stark choice. Be responsible to your family, accept that reporting is no longer a full-salaried adult job and leave, or stay, out of fear or selfishness and continue to watch your standard of living backslide further and faster.

    Recent J-school grads (and less) may still take the remaining jobs. But under conditions such as Singleton is offering, the likelihood of many of them staying for 20 or 30 years and becoming deeply-versed in the history and folkways of the city and their beat grows ever less likely.

    The antennae of several PiPressers went up at the line demanding reduction of standard (maximum) severance packages from 38 to 12 weeks, and with that new minimal maximum applying only to those being laid-off. Is this Singleton’s preparation for closing down the PiPress? Or maybe the oft-discussed merger with the Star Tribune? Either way it would save Singleton a fast $30,000-$40,000 per discarded employee.

    Assuming that a merger is at least a couple years off, I’ve become intrigued with the maneuvering of both Singleton and Avista to use more and more freelancers to cover beats formerly assigned to full-time employees. Sullivan used the theoretical example of the paper shelling out $200 to a Baltimore-area freelancer to cover a Twins road game rather than send a sports reporter out on a week-long road trip. Other reporters see the freelance option having more immediate impact on arts and entertainment sections, where local freelance writers could — the argument goes — provide a reasonable facsimile of full-time coverage at a fraction of the cost, and of course with none of that pesky union interference.

  • American as a Squishee

    Krusty-O's.jpg
    Taken in a real live Kwik-E-Mart in Denver!

    Is there anything more American than a Squishee?

    My daughter just got back from Spain where she and her host family went to the Grandmother’s house and watched The Simpsons (in Spanish, natch) and then rushed home to watch the same episode again.

    Whether or not they hate us, they love Homer.

    Now we can take a bite out of the quintessential donut of Americana. With the Simpson’s movie looming, the 7-Eleven chain of convenience stores has agreed to remake themselves as a collection of Kwik-E-Marts.

    Yes, you can buy a real, honest-to-goodness Squishee!
    Yes, you can start your morning with a heaping bowl of Krusty-O’s!
    Yes, you can guzzle a sixer of Buzz Cola and burp like Bart!
    Why not indulge in a sprinkeliscious pink donut, just like the one Homer eats every day?

    Sadly, there are no Kwik-E-Marts in our local area but if you are looking for a reason for a holiday road trip (and donuts are an appropriate reason) Chicago could be calling.

  • Moyers on Murdoch

    In the 24/7 news cycle this commentary from Bill Moyers on Rupert Murdoch’s seduction of the current owners of the Wall St. Journal is now ancient history … but still relevant.

    After so many weeks of following All Things Par I have to be careful not to imagine parallels and connections where few exist. But … Moyers’ underlying argument that Murdoch reduces a critically important facet of functioning democracy — a vigorous, independent media — to a black-or-red ledger entry really isn’t so different than what both the Star Tribune’s owners, Avista Capital Partners and MediaNews are doing to the Pioneer Press. Like Murdoch, neither Avista or Dean Singleton are prepared to sacrifice or risk anything to sustain genuine journalistic vitality.

    Obviously the Wall St. Journal rests on a much higher plateau of breadth and quality than either of our local dailies, which is why its diminishment — through “right-sizing” and de-contenting, or Murdoch-style political gaming — is such a troubling prospect. Murdoch plays a much bigger and rougher game of information manipulation and out-right distortion. But the attitude of a totally commoditized media subsidiary isn’t really all that different.

  • Table for one

    A reader contacted me this morning to ask if I had any restaurants to recommend for solo diners. A single woman who loves good food, she said she often feels self-conscious when seated at a table by herself. It doesn’t help, she added, when the server asks, “Will anyone be joining you tonight?”

    “Longfellow Grill is one of the only places I can come up with that has a really singles-friendly vibe,” she wrote. “And there’s Town Talk, where the bartenders will take a snit of whatever you’re drinking when they refill your glass. But can you think of any others?”

    Well, I’m a wine columnist, so my mind immediately goes to places such as Lucia’s and the now [sadly] defunct Auriga, as well as those coffehouse/wine bars like Wilde Roast and Zeno that provide wireless and great pastry, but less in the way of entrées and “haute cuisine” ambiance.

    So I’m putting the question out there. Singles, do you have any favorite fine dining haunts you’re willing to share? Send them in! And if enough of you congregate in one place, who knows? A couple of those tables for one may be pushed together before evening’s end.

  • F#!@ the Police

    You’re either one of those people who are going to see The Police reunion at the Xcel Energy Center tonight, or you’re not. (That’s pert near rocket science for you.) If you’re not, then you can stroke your ego in a number of ways tonight as you mock those poor souls who are so desperately clinging to their past. OK, I exaggerate. It’s not exactly an REO Speedwagon concert, but still…

    MUSIC
    Mr. Beatnig Man

    michael franti.gifGenXers, for the perfect contemporary expression of your youth, drive south tonight to the Minnesota Zoo. (Ooo. That almost sounds dirty, doesn’t it?) Michael Franti has come a long way since his power-tool-playing days, but those industrial punk beginnings still shine through. Truth is, Franti has morphed more than once. While The Police will likely sound, at best, as they did two decades ago, I guarantee Franti won’t. The man has evolved. And the man has always chosen the most appropriate style of the time in which to decry the socio-political malaise: industrial punk in the 80s, hip hop in the early 90s, and his own more mature mix following that. Following the dissolution of The Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy, who opened for U2’s Zoo TV Tour, Franti formed his new band, Spearhead, and brought his music to an entirely new level, fusing his industrial and hip hop past into his own brand of funk soul reggae-tized poetics. (Ain’t no doubt about it, folks, men get sexier with age. And no, the double negative doesn’t cancel itself out.)

    7:30 p.m., Minnesota Zoo Amphitheater, 13000 Zoo Boulevard, Apple Valley; 952-431-9200.

    Surrender the Body, or Surrender the Mind

    FullBandLaughing.jpgWhich one are you going for: the body or the mind? We’re in Minnesota, my friend, so dot a little WD40 on those extra hinges and get to know your body a while. You need it. We all do. Maybe it comes from trudging through all that snow (what snow?), but we’re all just a little flat-footed. It’s time to do a little damage control in the great outdoors. The Minnesota Historical Society’s Nine Nights of Music begins this evening with Charanga Tropical, a nine-piece Cuban ensemble. Don’t be afraid to shake those hips. If you find yourself doing the twist instead of salsa, instructor Douglas Little will set you straight. And don’t be afraid of the rain. While a solid dance under the rain might be just what you need to awaken your slumbering sexiness, you’ll find yourself without music when the concert moves inside.

    6:30 p.m., Minnesota Historical Society, 345 W. Kellogg Blvd., St. Paul; 651-296-6126; free.

    If you prefer to leave the body dormant and stimulate the mind a while, then skip the salsa and opt for some violin. School of Music alumni Milana Reiche and Angela Fuller (Bravo! alumna) will perform a recital this evening for the 2007 Bravo! Summer String and Keyboard Institute.

    7:30 p.m., Lloyd Ultan Recital Hall, Ferguson Hall, University of Minnesota, 2106 4th St. S., Minneapolis; free.

    BOOKS & AUTHORS
    But, Mommy, It’s My Favorite Toy

    portnoys-complaint-239.jpgNobody, and I mean nobody, describes male adolescence better than Philip Roth. What man can’t relate to a book whose entire first third consists of an extended sequence of masturbation exploits involving sibling undergarments and mother-induced shame? Portnoy’s Complaint is a masterpiece of Jewish literature — a masterpiece of an kind, in fact. But this evening you can focus on its place within the scope of Jewish literature. Professor Maria Damon, faculty member at the University of Minnesota’s Center for Jewish Studies, will lead a discussion of Roth’s novel in an exploration of sex and love in Jewish literature. Tonight’s talk comes as part of the Let’s Talk About It: Jewish Literature series, developed by the American Library Association and Nextbook.

    7 p.m., Highland Park Branch Library, 1974 Ford Parkway, Saint Paul; 651-366-6488; free.

    FILM by Eeva-Liisa Waaraniemi
    Nerdification

    306391.jpgAct as if you don’t get to spend enough time in basements. Descend into the murky Dinkytowner Cafe for the monthly Cinema Slop. Don’t pay a cover charge. You’ll get 2-for-1 drinks, satisfying diner-like slop to eat, and most importantly, you’ll know deep inside that that’s not what you’re there for. No, you’ve come for some nerdifying filmertainment, and that’s okay because it’s cool to be nerdy these days. The blurb on the Cinema Slop website says it all: “Geek Out! Nerdlingers rejoice, for July brings a full evening of egghead entertainment: the unsuccessful pilots for Super Nerds and Welcome to Eltingville; followed by Mattel’s glorified toy commercial TV special, Computer Warriors; then a couple of representative episodes of the video-game game show, Starcade: and finally the video game movie to end all video game movies, 1989’s The Wizard. Huzzah!”

    9 p.m., Dinkytowner Cafe, 412 14th Ave. S.E., Minneapolis; 612-362-0437.

    FESTIVITIES by Eeva-Liisa Waaraniemi
    Hop on the Fireworks Express

    train copy.jpgExperience an ancient mode of transportation — the choo-choo train (after what might be a long car ride)! On the day before July Fourth, the Osceola & St. Croix Valley Railway are taking riders on a 45-minute journey along the craggy bluffs of the St. Croix River on the Fireworks Express. The excursion begins at the Osceola depot. Once aboard, you’ll head to Marine on St. Croix, where you’ll disembark to watch fireworks. On the nighttime ride back to Osceola, expect to be chugged gently into a sleepy dreamland of yesteryear. Keep your eyes peeled for Casey Jones. Tickets are limited so call and reserve them in advance. If you enjoy the ride, you can come back tomorrow for a day ride. Celebrate the 4th with a holiday train ride (11:00 a.m. & 12:30 p.m.).

    7 p.m., Osceola & St. Croix Valley Railway, 114 Depot Rd., Osceola, WI; 715-755-3570; $20.00 (children $12).

  • Adopt the Two-Hour Rule

    Things heated up a bit in June, but it’s time to bring the summer into full gear now. Our pores have finally opened up a bit, and we have a the mid-week holiday just ahead. Don’t stop at that. Take advantage of the high energy and celebrate the week. Don’t be hindered by the inherent irony in celebrating our independence from an oppressive government. Celebrate your own independence. How, with all those obligations, are you going to do that? Toss in a little variety. Spoil yourself. Act on a whim. Do anything you like, but under no circumstances are you to do anything for more than two hours. That’s right. Mix it up. Fill your day. Two hours at a time.

    MUSIC
    Noontime Intermezzo

    dave.jpgStart your day off right with an afternoon music break. If you can sneak away for an extended lunch, head over to Northrop Plaza to listen to Eileen May and Dave Alstead jazz up some cabaret classics. Take your lunch, or pick up something on the way. I recommend grabbing a Potbelly (326 14th Ave SE) sandwich (with lots of hot peppers) and having yourself a picnic. If you’re close by, you’ll be able to linger a while and bask in the joy. Otherwise, you should still be able to make it all within your two-hour slot.

    Noon – 1 p.m., Northrop Plaza, 612-624-2345; free.

    SOCIAL
    The First-Ever Something-or-Other

    Mnspeakogo copy.jpgGive yourself some time to get out of work slowly, stop at home if you need to, maybe take a little walk around town (it’s good for you), and head on over to Psycho Suzi’s for a MNSpeak get-together. You’re bound to meet someone that can make you laugh a bit, or at least get you riled. And remember, you’re not going to stay for more than two hours anyhow (less, depending on where you’re going from there). You’ll find a couple good excuses below to get you out of there quickly. (Not that you’ll want to…)

    6 p.m., Psycho Suzi’s Motor Lounge, 2519 Marshall St. N.E., Minneapolis; 612-788-9069; your own tab.

    COMEDY
    Not That Kind of Laugh

    4145645010-1.jpgMaybe you need a good reason to continue the laughter. Or maybe the MNSpeak get-together is just too much of a risk for you (remember, you can always just go and lurk in the corners). There are more certain ways to get a laugh tonight. The Beat Coffeehouse is hosting its Monday Night Comedy Show with sketch artists, monologists, musicians, improv groups, and stand-up comedians. There’s free parking in the lot directly behind The Beat. And if the show exceeds your two-hour limit you can always log into the free WIFI and read The Rake a while. Maybe I’ll post something new for you by then. How about a video?

    7:30 p.m., The Beat Coffeehouse, 1414 West 28th St., Uptown Minneapolis; 612-877-2436; $2.

    MUSIC
    Jazz Fingers

    Picture 2.pngIf the MNSpeak get-together sucks right off the bat (it’s up to you to keep that energy level up and the conversation flowing), slip out the door (tug at my sleeve, and maybe I’ll go with you), and head over to the Dakota to see Tanner Taylor burn up the keyboards. This Iowa-born musician can really tear up those keys and make them sing. Don’t under-appreciate his greatness just because he’s made Minneapolis his home for the past six years. We have good reason to get a little spoiled on the jazz front here, but this jazz pianist’s greatness extends far beyond the bounds of our fair state. He has played with many contemporary jazz giants: Clark Terry, Slide Hampton, Steve Turre, Wycliffe Gordon, Dick Oatts, Eric Alexander, Delfeayo Marsalis.

    7 p.m., Dakota Jazz Club & Restaurant, 1010 Nicollet, Minneapolis; 612-332-1010; $5.

    A New Breed of Ax Mastery

    m_5d141cd9ac199dcb83b23c1585e645f2.jpgMNSpeakers who manage to endure each other beyond the two-hour mark are best off making a break for the Entry. New Yorker Marnie Stern is certain to add a little flare to the already whacked-out mix — or at least drown it out. “Yes. Yes. Yes. The answer’s yes.” This woman is one of a kind. Yes. She plays a mean guitar — a Fender Jaguar even. Yes. She shreds and yawps. Yes. Will she affirm your independence? The answer is yes. She’s playing tonight with Gay Beast and To Kill A Petty Bourgeoisie (you gotta love the name).

    8 p.m., The Entry, First Avenue, 701 First Ave. N., Minneapolis, 612-332-1775; $7.