Month: November 2007

  • The Three Pointer: Blown Opportunity

    Road Game #4: Minnesota 93, Denver 99

    Season Record 1-9

    1. Time To Get Angry

    Okay, that’s about enough patience, enough leeway for a basketball team that is playing with stupidity as well as incompetence, and showing very little character in the process. During the off-season, Kevin McHale remarked that any team that really plays hard and within themselves can win nearly forty games a season just by picking up a dozen or more victories left lying around by opponents that for one reason or another don’t bother to show up. Well, Denver didn’t show up tonight. The Nuggets knew they had allowed themselves to get down by double digits in the Wolves’ season opener in Minnesota and still managed to tuck the game away in the second half. And so they played without respecting the Wolves; jacking up a lot of dumb shots from the perimeter, not defending with vigor, and generally lazing around until there was 2:45 left and the Wolves were up by 3. Then, after plopping himself on the bench like a somnambulant toad for the entire game, Nuggets coach George Karl called a timeout and presumably told his squad that it was time to expend the requisite energy to put this sorry Minnesota squad where it belongs, cluelessly flying back home with a .100 winning percentage.

    It was all Fox Sports analyst Mike McCollow could do not to blatantly rip the Wolves; the disgusted look on his face and his accurate statement that Denver "laid an egg tonight," said it all. And if it didn’t, the postgame interview with Denver’s Eduardo Najera–who has more grit than any three Timberwolves combined–sealed it. "We came out flat; I don’t know what it was," Najera said with a grin and a shake of his head. "Maybe we ate too much for the holiday." He was apologizing for the six-point triumph.

    Let’s start calling people out. Rashad McCants played like a punk, like a kid who, despite all evidence, refuses to believe he’s not the best thing on the playground. McCants shot 1-15 from the field, a stat uglier in reality than it is on paper. His only make was a waltzing, uncontested layup after a teammate made a steal and delivered him the ball while Denver conceded the hoop. Of the 14 misses, maybe 3 or 4 were in the paint, and at least one of those was a stumbling toss-up prayer after McCants drove expecting a foul that never came. That leaves about ten jumpers, the sort of chemistry-corroding shots that would have had his teammates irked at Wittman for not sitting him if McCants hadn’t benched himself with a series of fouls. He got to the line just three times; once after a technical foul on Denver, and once on the next possession after Wittman explicitly instructed his squad during a timeout that they needed to take it to the hoop. Otherwise, nada.

    Since his 33-point breakout against Sacramento, Shaddy has converted 15 shots (in 57 attempts) and committed 16 turnovers. Over the last three games, he has mounted a 8-41 brickfest–less than 20% shooting. His defense tonight was actually good in spots, but his offense game was so ugly, so selfish, that it is hard to give him credit for that positive contribution.

    Al Jefferson is an easy player to love for his precocious footwork, realistic self-assessments of his foibles, and strong work ethic. But aside from his low-post offense, Jefferson remains woefully inconsistent. He can be a bulldog on the boards for two possessions and a negligent terrier the next. He can flash hard on the pick and roll two out five times, and bollocks it up the other three. He can spot open teammates out of the looming double team two or three times per period, but might as well be wearing blinders 60-70 percent of the time. On top of all that the recent injury to Theo Ratliff has further exposed him as being a converted power forward instead of a center when he’s forced to play the pivot. Despite all the good things he does and the admirable way he acts, there is a reason why he was a game-worst minus -14 tonight and the Nugs’ center Marcus Camby was a game-best plus +16.

    Neither Sebastian Telfair nor Marko Jaric can be a starting point guard on a successful team–it just won’t happen. There is a point guard gene missing–a different one in each player. Telfair can provide pace and a probing spirit with his passes; Jaric has marvelous hands and good anticipation on defense, and was one of the precious few Timberwolves that heeded Wittman’s admonition to penetrate into the paint. But past failures have fed the demons in both of their psyches, and there are glaring flaws in each of their games that inevitably buzz kill their most painstaking efforts at kindling some personal momentum. Put it this way: You don’t want either one of them bringing the ball up against a zone trap, and you don’t want either one of them with the ball in their hands in the closing seconds of a game with their team down a deuce. And that, folks, are precisely the two situations when point guard play is most crucial. The Nuggets deployed a full court press that coughed the ball from Telfair twice late in the first half, likely robbing the Wolves of a double-digit lead at intermission. Jaric, as I say, actually played one of his better games, but he’s been in the league long enough to know what you’ve got and it’s not enough to fortify this callow squad. There are roles for both Jaric and Telfair, but all the opportunities that Randy Foye’s injury have provided dramatize that those roles should be smaller than the ones they currently occupy.

    2. The Better Gomes

    Ryan Gomes also belongs on the "disappointing enough to be pissed at him" list thus far this season, but it took one of his vintage games tonight to remind us of how far he’d out of our consciousness. Before the season started, I expected Gomes to be the Wolves’ second-best player behind Jefferson. He fulfilled that promise for the first time in more than two weeks by toting up 18 points in less than 25 minutes simply by flowing in the course of the offense–moving without the ball, and seeking out seams in the opposing defense in a way that Flip Saunders would salivate over and utilize to the tune of 20 points per game if he had him. Or maybe not, because Gomes has clanked way too many wide open jumpers this year. Tonight he made 7-13 FG, including 4-5 from beyond the arc. His defense on Melo Anthony game but only partially effective–Melo’s 31 points on 22 shots were boosted by a hot hand early (6-7 FG on mostly contested jumpers in the first period) and trips to the line late (11-11 FTs for the game).

    Which Gomes will we see over the next few games? The Wolves desperately need it to be the Good Gomes, because the the schedule ahead is road-wearying and folks who "play the game right" are at a premium.

    3. A Plus and a Minus

    For about the fifth or sixth time in this brief season, Antoine Walker demonstrated more competitive spunk and both blatant and subtle court savvy than anyone else in a Wolves uni. One might even think the dude is playing to earn himself a ticket to a contender later in the first few months of 2008. It is probably poetic justice that ‘Toine must endure McCants’s pig-headedness, having had his own bouts on many occasions early in his career. Even tonight, his 15 point first half bore an interesting stat within the stat–1-5 from outside the arc, 5-5 shooting two-pointers. It should also be noted that Walker is getting a lot of his points and rebounds using his half-court quickness against opposing power forwards, an advantage that is quickly reversed when the big boys take him into the paint at the other end of the court. Kenyon Martin more than doubled his 7.9 ppg average with 18 tonight.

    See the theme? Walker at the 4 and Jefferson at the 5 are both overmatched on defense, but Walker is one of very few Wolves who can not only get his own shot, but create one for a teammate in the half court, especially because he understands how opponents will concentrate on Big Al and space himself accordingly.

    Yes, it is true that Minnesota really misses Foye and Ratliff, and the failure of players to fill those voids is valuable, if depressing, information for the future. But it must also be said that this squad is *not"–repeat *not* making progress, a fact dramatized by the opening night opponent playing demonstrably worse in their Game 10 rematch and winning just as handily. Almost any NBA player can jump up and have a good game, or two or three good games over a 10 game span. But the glimmers of consistency, the slow but steady signs of progress, are what this 2007-08 must be all about.

    And where are they? Did Corey Brewer get a mere 2:04 tonight because Gomes were going well, because he’s now missed four free throws in a row, because that late to practice stunt still has him in Witt’s doghouse, or because the past two opponents have been LeBron and Melo? Why is Mark Madsen a better bet to start versus Camby than Michael Doleac, who is larger and has more range on his jumper (which is to say he can shoot one)? Has anybody yo-yo’d in minutes and productivity like Craig Smith, who led the Wolves with a plus +8 tonight and had 5 rebounds to go with his 7 points (3-6 FG) but only got 15:52 (likely another victim of the Walker-Jefferson tandem)? Is McCants going through a rough patch or going down for the third time? What do we really know about this team other than they have won once in their first ten games and let an indifferent opponent that had contempt for their ability loiter through the motions and then, after the coach finally sounded the alarm, tromp down the throttle and outscore them 15-4 in the final 2:45?

    It’s not cute anymore.

  • Pizza Via Text Message and U.S. Mail

    I recall sitting in a long, dull editorial meeting one Monday afternoon. It was around 4:30; a dozen writerly types, all disengaged. Our eyes were darting between our watches and the door. Then, the editor gave us the topic for our annual food issue: Best Pizza. Suddenly, everyone in the room perked up and had something to say.

    What is it about pizza? Not only is it a strikingly perfect meal: if you assemble it correctly, all five food groups are represented in more or less the right ratio. But it seems to strike an emotional chord with just about everyone in the free world.

    That it is the preferred late-night nosh of college students seems right to me, too. These are kids — really — away from home for the first time. There could be nothing more comforting than a warm slice, bubbling with cheese, to take the edge off worry about exams and dating and that touch of homesickness to which none of them want to admit.

    I saw this demonstrated just last week, when I mentioned to my creative writing class at Macalester that Papa John’s has now made it possible to order a pizza by text message. Half the students in my class rose off their chairs, as if they couldn’t possibly make it through the next hour of lecture; they simply had to leave and code in an order for a large pepperoni with onion and green pepper.

    Talk about your savvy marketing campaigns! Papa John’s not only has the most active Internet ordering system of any pizza purveyor (it’s advertised during Heroes — how much more exposure can you get — and statistics show one in five PJ pizzas is now ordered online), the company has hooked into the Millennium Generation‘s favorite method of communication.

    There is nothing new about any of this. Pizza has long been unique among restaurant food offerings: it’s the only item available for delivery to your hotel room, dormitory, house or apartment door in nearly every city, township, and village in the United States. And certain beloved pizzamakers are willing to go to great lengths to ship their product directly to you.

    How do I know this? Because I have a personal pizza story of my own:

    Back in April, I was on a college fact-finding trip with my younger
    son, who was then a junior in high school. It had been a tough year.
    Max was a varsity football player who got laid up with a nearly fatal
    staph infection, missed the final game of the season, and confessed to
    us that he’d always hated football and he was just as glad. . . .This
    explained a lot: the moodiness and testosterone bursts and mediocre
    grades we’d been seeing out of this heretofore model kid.

    Things
    were still a little tense, even when we left for our trek through
    Wisconsin, Michigan, and Illinois. This was supposed to be our chance
    to bond — mother and son — getting back to where we were before the
    fall from hell. We drove to Madison and had a fine time. Then we went
    to Ann Arbor, and it was as if the heavens opened up and angel trumpets
    began to blare. Max was entranced. He met with professors and took
    every tour and dragged me to a falafel place on the far side of town.

    "This is where I want to go," he told me that night over dinner. "There’s no need to visit Northwestern; let’s just go to
    Gino’s instead."

    He’d been talking about Gino’s since we planned
    the trip. "It’s the best pizza in Chicago, probably in the country,
    maybe in the world." But I — the responsible mother — was having none of this. "We came to visit colleges," I told him, "not eat pizza."

    We
    set off the next day for Northwestern. I’d programmed it into the GPS
    and allotted just enough to get there for our scheduled tour at noon.
    But as we drew closer to Chicago, something clearly went wrong. The GPS
    kept directing me toward downtown, though I knew the university was in
    a place called Evanston. Finally, around 11:30, I pulled over and asked
    someone.

    "You’re a good hour and a half from Northwestern," she told me. "There’s no way you’re getting there by noon."

    I
    was furious — at myself. I told Max I was going to find a coffeeshop
    where I could call the admissions office to get good directions and see
    if I could postpone our tour. I turned left, then right, then left
    again, and then I heard Max shout, "There it is! I don’t believe it. .
    . .you got us to Gino’s! See? It was meant to happen."

    Well, there it was. Indeed. And I had to make a split-second decision. Should I stick to my guns and drag the kid to Northwestern, risking our fragile new relationship; or should I go with the flow and share in his sense of divine guidance?

    Let’s just say: The pizza was really, really good. The lightest upside-down deep-dish I’ve ever eaten, it had a savory cornmeal crust and lots of tangy tomato sauce. And the best part is, you can have it shipped to you anywhere in the country.

    My son wears his Michigan sweatshirt proudly, but his other memento from that trip is the black marker I bought him to sign Gino’s wall.

  • Consume Consume Consume and Kill — Happy Holidays!

    SHOPPING
    Christy’s Recommendations for Black Friday

    Roam (811 Glenwood Ave.) It’s the latest store to open on the burgeoning design
    corridor of Glenwood Avenue;
    you’ll find it next to Ligne Roset. Featured lines include Minneapolis’s own Blu Dot as well as some fantastic
    Scandinavian-designed minimalist wares, like those from Alessi.

    Fashion Avenue (4936 France Ave. S.) Actually, I was just there last weekend and spotted
    a half rack of vintage couture, like a gorgeous ‘60s-era emerald-green Yves
    Saint-Laurent
    sweater. Of course, I can’t think of anyone on my list who might
    want such a thing. But I’ll be shopping with my mother; and FA is fertile
    ground for dropping hints.

    Letterbox (2741 Hennepin Ave.) Again, there’s nothing used to be found
    (unless you count recycled paper). However, this repository of fine stationery—the
    best in the cities, if you ask me—is conveniently located near my house. I plan
    to snag a few reams for the smart-ass chicks on my list; those crazy bitches just
    lurves fancy stationery. And I suppose I’ll pick up wrapping paper while I’m there, too.
    P.S. Letterbox will be serving free hot cocoa to all customers on Saturday and
    Sunday.

    Local Motion (2813 Hennepin Ave) Again, it’s right in the neighborhood, and I’ll
    be dropping more hints. Love those elbow-length leather gloves!

    ROBOTlove (
    2648 Lyndale Ave. S.) My lucky niece might be getting one of
    the locally-made plush dolls above. These are by a Minneapolis-based artist named Curster, or Erin Currie.

    Minnesota
    Center
    for Book Arts
    (1011 Washington Ave. S.) If
    they won’t let me buy a gift certificate, redeemable for one of their family-friendly
    book-making workshops, then I can at least pick up some supplies for the budding, ten-year-old
    author on my list.

    Christy DeSmith

    Of course, if you leave it up to me, I say stay at home, avoid the crowds, serve yourself a glass of wine (or coquito), and buy your gifts online.

    MUSIC
    Against Me!

    How many anarchist punk bands from Gainesville, Florida, actually
    get better with age? The only one that matters thus far certainly has.
    Worthy heirs to Bad Religion if not The Clash, Against Me! have always curlicued their snarl with a knowing smirk—“Cliché Guevara” is a song title from back in 2003. But this year’s New Wave, their major-label debut adorned with big-time producer Butch Vig (of Nirvana’s Nevermind
    fame), invites the ire of the righteously betrayed skateboard brigade,
    ups the ante by ranting against the ineffectiveness of protest songs in
    the middle of a protest song (against the war in Iraq), and laces
    together a rapid-fire collection of tunes that are too pretty and yet
    too harsh to make anyone feel completely comfortable. Sage Francis opens. —Britt Robson

    Friday at 5:30 p.m., First Avenue, 701 First Ave. N., 612-332-1775; $16/$18.

    THEATER & PERFORMANCE
    Stuck In The Manger With You; or Carol On, My Wayward Son

    Check that holiday-themed theater production off your annual to-do list. Just this past weekend, the Brave New Workshop Theatre opened its annual Christmas show. The opening night performance was chalk full of biting, acutely perceptive satire: Joe Bozic performed as a hell-on-wheels UPS driver, speeding through the night to deliver a single package on time for Christmas; Lauren Anderson reprised her riff (first performed at the 2007 Ivey Awards) on drunken office holiday parties; Josh Eakright and Mike Fotis rendered a Brokeback Mountain-inspired love story starring Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and his cohort, Blitzen. Taken together, these bits and sketches make the perfect holiday outing for family and group of friends not taking Christmas so seriously this year. Christy DeSmith

    Friday at 8 p.m., Saturday at 7 and 10 p.m., and Sunday at 7 p.m. (through Jan. 26); Brave New Workshop, 2605 Hennepin Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-332-6620; $23-29.

    Hormel Girls

    After World War II, when most U.S. businesses emphasized hiring male war veterans, Hormel Foods
    hatched an unusual plan to employ women. Of course, these women tended
    to be less needy than attractive—not to mention talented. In fact, from
    1947–53, a troupe of sixty female employees from the Austin-based
    company, known simply as the “Hormel Girls,” served both as
    door-to-door sales force and drum-and-bugle corps. The Girls are
    credited with doubling sales of their employer’s packaged foods,
    especially Spam, with such tactics as traveling stage shows, parades,
    and a weekly CBS Radio show in which product names were liberally
    dropped. The “Hormel Girls” make for fascinating history; but they’re
    likely to make even better musical theater. Christy DeSmith

    Saturday at 8 p.m., Sunday at 2 p.m., History Theatre, 30 E. Tenth St., St. Paul; 651-292-4323.

    SPECIAL EVENT
    Our Very Own Rockefeller Center (or death of a 76-year-old tree for your viewing pleasure)

    While
    I’ve often heard Minneapolis referred to as the Mini Apple, I have to
    give St. Paul some credit here, as they’re the ones with our version of
    Rockefeller Center, a city-defining asset after Thanksgiving. You’ve
    seen it in a hundred movies — the ice skating rink, the giant Christmas
    tree, the crowds, the love, the broken hearts and broken bones. This
    weekend truly kicks off the holiday season with the opening of the Wells Fargo WinterSkate
    and the official tree lighting at Rice Park. I’m not a big fan of
    buying the Christmas tree right after Thanksgiving (by the time
    Christmas rolls around, the darn thing is dead and dry), but there’s no
    reason not to celebrate the season with the lighting of a 78-foot tall
    Christmas tree with 60,000 lights, and a lovely skate around the rink.
    Take the kids. Take your lover. Start those sleigh bells a’ringing in
    your head. The Wells Fargo choir will help get things rolling, and the
    marching band will lead in Santa on his sleigh. A little premature
    perhaps, but so much fun.

    Saturday at 4 p.m., Rice Park, Saint Paul; 651-291-5608; $2 skate rental, all else is free.

    BOOKS & AUTHORS
    Michael Tisserand with the Southside Aces

    In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, displaced Big Easy journalist Tisserand, the former editor of the estimable Gambit Weekly, has produced a truly inspiring and moving testament to the power of perseverance in the face of unimaginable exile. Sugarcane Academy: How a New Orleans Teacher and His Storm-Struck Students Created a School to Remember
    is an account of teacher Paul Reynaud’s heroic efforts to turn an
    abandoned New Iberia office into a one-room schoolhouse for a group of
    evacuee children. Tisserand will be joined by local traditional-jazz
    purveyors, the Southside Aces. Brad Zellar

    Sunday at 7 p.m., Magers and Quinn, 3038 Hennepin Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-822-4611.

     

  • Sursum Corda: Give Thanks

    I’d say it’s a decent idea, Thanksgiving, even if it’s one of those old, decent ideas that means almost nothing anymore. Still, it does strike me as a worthwhile thing, the notion of taking time out of your life to give thanks for whatever the hell you have to give thanks for. And surely you have something to be thankful for –come on, pull your face away from that bong for a moment and think about it.

    I know I do. A few for instances:

    Microwave popcorn.

    Tabasco sauce.

    Canned chili.

    Willie Nelson.

    Cold beverages.

    Dune buggies.

    The Colonel’s blend of special spices.

    The grand-fetuses –if I’d known the little bastards were going to be so much fun I’d have had them first.

    The troops, which I nonetheless feel strongly should be spending the holidays with their families at home.

    Zigaboo Modeliste.

    Al Jackson, Jr.

    Air hockey.

    Paper boys, even –or perhaps especially– if they’re middle-aged men working three jobs just trying to get by.

    Grasshoppers.

    Formaldehyde.

    Mutterers.

    Television evangelists.

    A good cat mystery.

    Robert Goulet.

    Vespers.

    U-turns.

    Pre-history.

    Mason jars.

    The down-on-his-luck hippie magician.

    The spinster librarian.

    The smooth Lothario.

    This sneaking suspicion.

    This magic moment.

    That tragedy narrowly averted.

    Nose-diving birds.

    Twizzlers.

    Dumplings.

    Nancy and Sluggo.

    The great hearts gone, and those still beating.

    The ink I still, astonishingly, feel compelled to use.

    Unexpected eruptions of pleasure and recognition.

    Mercy.

    This life, what it helplessly is, and what it yet could be.

  • Long Day's Journey

    I’m an unreliable narrator. You should know this.

    Here are my flaws: I’m alternately delighted and devastated by other people (there is, for me, little middle ground); I look for meaning in everything I see, whether or not it exists; and I believe too fervently in my own ability to change circumstances, no matter what the odds.

    So it was with my older son, who came back to us from the Mayo Clinic in June, like a whiteboard wiped clean. We’d spent years treating him for autism — OT, PT, kinesthetic exercises, biofeedback, social skills programs, and DMG. He made remarkable progress until the age of 17, when, after treatment for depression he began to slide back and then went into a near-vegetative state. Eighteen months later, we took him to Rochester nearly dead and they returned him to us (for which I am profoundly grateful) exactly the child he’d been at five: mute, ritualistic, lost . . . .

    The thing about my son — about so many people with autism — is that he was very able to do things. Play chess, navigate the city, balance my checkbook, or bake a cake. Most of his brain was functioning just fine, but the area controlling his ability to communicate had been shuttered down or roped off.

    For the past three months, he’s been in a transitional post-high school program where one of his main activities seems to be riding the bus from class to the shopping mall, three miles away. The goal, I guess, is to teach independence. But the tedium of his days, frankly, drives me insane.

    "We could drop him off in St. Paul on a Sunday," I told my husband. "Give him 20 bucks, tell him to buy himself lunch, and I’ll bet you anything he could find his way back."

    "How sure are you?" my husband asked. At which point, I went to an ATM and withdrew a $20 bill.

    Last Sunday, on the first chilly day of winter, we took our nearly-20-year-old autistic son to Highland Park mid-morning and left him with instructions to find buses that would lead him home and call us if something went wrong. Then we waited. . . .and I spent the afternoon pacing, wondering how crazed and wrong and stupidly hopeful a mother can be.

    Around 5, about an hour after a wet snow had begun to fall, my phone rang. I was certain it was he, calling to say he was cold and ask me to pick him up in some remote and unkown locale.

    It was my son, but he was calling only to ask if I was ready to see him at home. He’d had a pleasant time wandering through the shops in Highland Park then found a bus bound for Minneapolis, transferred twice, treated himself to a calzone at Old Chicago in Uptown around 3:30 and had been killing time ever since.

    He arrived a short time later. And all this is true: He speaks little, and only haltingly, but there was a broad smile on his face as he took 20 minutes to describe his day. I tried not to cry and opened a Collection des Chateaux de Bordeaux.

    I’d love to draw a parallel here; the essayist in me is dying to tell you I chose this wine because it, too, is put together in an utterly unconventional way, mixing the best Bordeauxs of any one year to come up with a blend of Merlot and Cab that’s instantly drinkable but also ages well. That would, however, be a lie: I had none of this in mind when I uncorked the bottle and took the first sip. I really only wanted something to do as I waited through the pauses in my son’s story, never mind the dry, oaky flavor and piano notes of pepper, tannins, and plum.

    There is no real moral to this story. My husband drove my son home to the place where he lives with his father, then returned and gently took my glass away. The bottle was nearly empty and I was bleary, limp with wine and relief. I still believe I can change the world if I just wish hard enough. Sometimes it is that glass at the end of the day which comforts me after I find out the world is not this way — none of us is so powerful.

    And other times, it’s the glass I drink in wonder because, after all, it’s just possible we are.

  • Red Stag Supper Club: Having Your Steak and Eating It Too…

     

    The press release says the Red Stag Supper Club will open to
    the public next Monday, November 26, but Kim Bartmann’s newest restaurant
    actually has been open for business since last Monday. It’s what’s called a
    soft opening – a chance to work out some of the kinks before the crowds, and
    the restaurant critics, show up en masse. I stopped in Tuesday night for dinner,
    and things already seemed to be running pretty smoothly.

    Bartmann, who also owns the Bryant Lake Bowl and Barbette, has been at the forefront of the local sustainable-humane-organic
    restaurant scene – and Red Stag takes that ethos a big step further. Red Stag is being billed as the first
    LEED-certified restaurant in Minnesota. That stands for Leadership in Energy
    and Environmental Design – a set of standards for making buildings
    energy-efficient and environmentally friendly. Among the Red Stag’s bragging
    points: water consumption is
    70 percent lower than the typical new restaurant – and would be even lower if
    the state of Minnesota permitted waterless urinals. The lighting all comes from
    LEDs, which are much more efficient than incandescents, and the restaurant has
    its own composting system, so less food waste gets hauled to the landfill.
    The place looks great – the old carved wood bar and the red and black carpet
    give the place a classic supper club feel, while the exposed beams are a
    reminder that the new business recycles an old space.

    The supper club theme is an interesting choice – it harkens
    back to an era when none of us worried about carbon footprints and
    environmental sustainability or whether our steaks were grass-fed and our eggs
    were free-range. Meat and potatoes were
    the staples of the classic supper club, and Red Stag menu is a carnivore’s
    delight: three cuts of steak, plus a red deer Stroganoff, a pork chop, entrees
    of chicken, duck, and a veal casserole, a butcher plate of potted duck, pig in
    a blanket and Scotch egg. If you really want to get elemental about it, you can
    order a big roasted marrow bone, served with grilled bread, gremolata, and a
    spoon. But this is meat you can eat with a clear (or at least clearer)
    conscience: it’s all local and sustainable, from producers like Wild Acres (ducks), Star
    Prairie Trout Farm, Thousand Hills Cattle Company, and Pastures A’ Plenty (pork).

    Chef Bill Baskin’s resume includes cooking with
    Seth Daugherty at Cosmos, at Graves 601 Hotel, and with Heston Blumenthal at
    the Fat Duck near London, often named as one of the best and most innovative
    restaurants in the world. His approach here is more basic, and more rooted in
    regional cooking, with dishes like a chop salad, smelt fries, chicken with
    potato buttermilk dumplings, and pork chops with cheese grits and shimp and bacon succotash.

    It isn’t fair to judge a restaurant on its second day in business, but based on what I have tasted so far, I would probably steer clear of the trendier dishes, like the seafood cioppino and the breast of duck with butternut squash ravioli and raisins – and stick the classic supper club fare.

    509 1st Ave.N.E., Minneapolis, 612-767-7766.

  • Holiday Trey: Too Much LeBron

    Home Game # 6: Cleveland 97, Minnesota 86

    Season record: 1-8

     

    1. Shoddy Shaddy

    After the Wolves had been LeBronned by 11 Wednesday night at the Target Center, Coach Randy Wittman said in edgier, more frustrated tones what Antoine Walker had calmly laid out after Minnesota’s previous loss Saturday night. There’s no fight in this team, Wittman stated; if the opponent goes on a six or eight point run, the Wolves hang their heads and don’t respond. "When we get punched in the mouth we get down," he added, saying that the five guys who were playing most of the 4th quarter–Al Jefferson, Walker, Greg Buckner, Corey Brewer, and, surprise, Gerald Green–at least "threw some haymakers" in response.

    Leaving aside the tortured fighting imagery–if you want to watch jerks literally try to injure each other and thump their chests with gap-toothed bravado, NHL hockey is being played across the river–I thought the coach’s words might be foreshadowing why Rashad McCants only got 3:49 on the court during the second half. What do you need to see from McCants that you didn’t tonight? I asked. "He’s got to continue to *play*," Witt immediately shot back. "Very seldom does everything go right for you in a game."

    On to the locker room, where McCants was holding up his right arm as a Wolves’ cleanup guy affixed a bag of crushed ice to the inside of his elbow with circular motions of clear tape. When did you do that? I asked. "Practice," McCants said. Wow, did it affect your stroke any tonight? I said. "Well, I went 5 for 16 tonight; what do you think?" Shaddy said testily. His mood was sour enough, and my belligerence meter low enough, that I didn’t supply the natural rejoinder: Well, how smart was it to jack up 16 shots in less than 24 minutes with a bum elbow?

    As if the misfired gunning wasn’t bad enough, McCants did not visit the free throw line. "When [Cleveland big men] Ilgauskas and Gooden switched out on our 1 or 2, we’ve got to be able to go to the basket," Wittman lamented.

    2. The Gerald Green Bandwagon Is Taking Passengers

    Exploiting Shaddy doldrums was Gerald Green, who more than doubled the 16 minutes he’d been allowed to play in Minnesota’s previous 8 games, and canned more shots in half as many attempts as McCants while registering 13 points (6-8 FG in 20:15). Opinions on what Green has to offer, both now and in the future, vary more widely than perhaps any other player on the team. As one comfortably ensconced in the "hater" camp, I’m nevertheless happy to report that GG had a fine showing that is destined to get people clamoring for more court time for last year’s slam dunk champion and super-athlete.

    One of those people is Jefferson, who watched McCants jack up jumpers even when undersized Wolves castoff Dwayne Jones was defending him down low. Asked if he agreed with Wittman’s comments about not rallying back, Jeff said, "Yeah, I totally agree. We get in the habit of putting our heads down, myself included." Then Jefferson unilaterally brought up his teammate with the Celtics and Wolves. "Green came in and gave us huge energy. We’ve got to be in a fighting mood and Gerald gave it to us. He gave us the lift we needed." When I voiced the conventional wisdom that one reason for Green’s lack of minutes was him not knowing the plays, Jefferson frowned and disagreed. "No, I think it is just his shot, his shot selection sometimes and then him getting down on himself. But he put that away tonight."

    Yes, he did. Entering the game in second quarter, Green still had to be told where to go on defense by Buckner during the first play, and he still has a tendency to wander at both ends of the court. But he also closed out for a nice, partial block on a long-range jumper and then continued downcourt to receive a pass for a slam that ignited the crowd. And most of his jumpers were in the context of the offense. He added three boards and two assists, without a turnover, although his minus -2 for the game put his season-long plus total in jeopardy. (He still remains plus +1 for the season, the only Timberwolf on that side of the ledger.)

    The doubts I’ve expressed about McCants–the need to get his own shot, overconfidence creating tunnel vision–are magnified with Green, and that’s before noting that Shaddy is miles ahead of Green on defense, as a passer, and in his general knowledge of the game. I believe Green closely resembles Troy Hudson–a player who can single-handedly win you a game, and do some dazzling things out on the court, a player who can become electric; but also a player who will lose you twice as many games as he’ll win because, for whatever reason, he either can’t or won’t figure out how to best enable a team concept out on the court.

    And I’d love to be wrong about this, because Gerald Green has pogo sticks for hamstrings, and a sweet looking jump shot.

    3. Quick Hits

    Corey Brewer didn’t play the entire first half. "A little team discipline today. Corey missed the shootaround this morning," Wittman explained after the game. Actually the beat writers said he was there when they were allowed in late in the practice, so he must have been tardy. But the media wasn’t aware of the penalty until after the game.

    Antoine Walker had lousy game, twice throwing the ball into the stands in unforced errots (one was an out-of-bounds play), and too quick to jack up treys as the Wolves were trying to come back and he had a hot Gerald Green mentally pleading for the rock elsewhere on the perimeter. Also, whether by accident or design, there were about a half-dozen possessions when the 6-9 ‘Toine was being guarded by 6-3 Eric Snow in the half court and I recall only one basket resulting from that matchup.

    Those who continue to claim that Kobe Bryant is the NBA’s best player owe LeBron an apology. His drives to the hoop were effortless down both the right and (his preference) left lane, and he nailed six of 10 from beyond the arc in addition to 9-16 elsewhere. Throw in 8 free throws, 8 rebounds, 5 assists, 3 steals and 2 blocks (there were 4 turnovers too) to go with those 45 points–and the team lead in minutes for a defense that once again ceded less than 90 points to an opponent–and you’ve got the stats of the real best player in the NBA.

    Mark Madsen is back from injury. And Michael Doleac made it off the bench and into the starting lineup, Neither one attempted a shot in a combined 32:19 of play. Shrewd move by Madsen, but for a team struggling on offense and becoming increasingly reliant on the Jefferson-McCants combo, Doleac’s 13-footer is a viable option that should be utilized.

  • Subaru, Turducken, and Other Strange Birds

    A long time ago I was fired from the Byerly’s business (and later restated) for taking a picture of a model holding a Turducken. I depicted this Scandinavian babe in a Bergmanesque pose tortured by existential angst over what to do with the strange aviary object.

    Tres Lund, apparently, did not prefer realism in his supermarket. I can’t be sure, however, that he has ever tried to cook on Turkey Day. After all, what is one to do with a chicken that’s been stuffed in a duck then stuffed in a turkey? (or vice versa?)

    I am told the ad did end up selling quite a few birds.

    Which brings me to Subaru. The recent buzz on the company is the last second hiring of Carmichael Lynch–by all accounts, a great advertising agency. Subaru is going to need one, considering the inexplicable oddness of its new car line.

    For years, Subuaru was a proud and inconoclastic car maker . They claimed, rightly, that their cars were "inexpensive and built to stay that way." They were a poster child for fighting car-based commonism.

    That’s all changed. Their vehicles are now expensive for the money and downright ugly on the eyes. It all started when someone got the weird idea that Subaru could really fly high by paying homage to their history as an aircraft company. This resulted in the Tribeca B9, a bland beast with a grille that reflected their aircraft roots.

    It appears here that they were aiming for the elegance of an Alfa Romeo but ended up with a modern day Edsel

    Subaru’s strange behavior has now reached its zenith in the new WRX-till recently their "halo" car. I’ve blogged about the previous generations of this car so much that I won’t bore you with the details. The latest generation of the WRX, however, looks like the designers have been overdosing on tryptophan.

    The photo here to the right is not a Mazda 3 or some other econobox but instead the once-sporty-but-now somnambulistic WRX. Hatchbacks never have and never will be true sports cars. Its as if someone told Subaru that all the gung-ho boy racers have matured into grocery-getters ready to put away their childish things. It looks bloated and over-stuffed and the road tests are exactly lofty either.

    Its time Fuji Heavy Industries (Subaru’s parent company) stopped thinking about airplanes and cooked up something like the previous generation WRX. It looked uncommon and flew like a bat out of you know where.

    Which is more than I can say for a Turducken.

    Or these Subies of late.

     

     

     

  • The Feast Index

    "Be not angry or sour at table; whatever may happen put on the cheeful mien for good humor makes one dish a feast."

    from the Shaker manual Gentle Manners.

     

    THE FEAST INDEX

    Estimated number of turkeys rasied in Minnesota in 2007: 46 million

    Rank of Minnesota in the top six turkey producing states: 1

    Estimated pounds of cranberries produced by Wisconsin this year: 390 million

    Amount by which that kicks ass over Massachusetts, the second largest producer: 210 million

    Average spoonfuls of cranberry sauce that someone under the age of 15 will put on their plate: .5

    Percentage of grocery store checkout ladies that knew what quince were: 25%

    Margin by which the vote swung against me and my whole wheat dinner rolls: 5

    Amount, in pounds, of potatoes I expect to be eaten: 10

    Amount, in pounds, of butter that I expect to use: 4

    Number of people eating The Feast at my house: 15

    Number who will wince as my diabetic mother-in-law goes in for her second piece of pie: 14

    Ratio of guests to matching silverware: 15:11

    Minimum hours spent laboriously pressing cloth napkins that will only get wrinkled and mashed up anyway!: 2

    Chances that my husband and his sister will get in a politically motivated "discussion": 1 in 4

    Amount of holiday cheer that I will need, expressed in ounces of Johnnie Walker Blue: 18

    Chances that a dessert will contain pumpkin: 2 in 3

    Chances that, as I’m eating the dessert, I will feel like a pumpkin: 3 in 3

    Minutes after the last guest leaves that the first turkey sandwich will be eaten: 27.3

    Maximum number of days post-feat that I will be deconstructing the night with some local ladies at McGarry’s Pub: 3

  • Black Friday Agenda

    I don’t mind shopping malls, really. But I intend to avoid
    them this Black Friday, not to stave off those bouts of claustrophobia, but to
    procure a series of gifts that are either high-quality second-hand or awfully,
    awfully special. Here’s the action plan (a working document):

    Roam (811 Glenwood Ave.) It’s the latest store to open on the burgeoning design
    corridor of Glenwood Avenue;
    you’ll find it next to Ligne Roset. Featured lines include Minneapolis’s own Blu Dot as well as some fantastic
    Scandinavian-designed minimalist wares, like those from Alessi.

    Fashion Avenue (4936 France Ave. S.) Actually, I was just there last weekend and spotted
    a half rack of vintage couture, like a gorgeous ‘60s-era emerald-green Yves
    Saint-Laurent
    sweater. Of course, I can’t think of anyone on my list who might
    want such a thing. But I’ll be shopping with my mother; and FA is fertile
    ground for dropping hints.

    Letterbox (2741 Hennepin Ave.) Again, there’s nothing used to be found
    (unless you count recycled paper). However, this repository of fine stationery—the
    best in the cities, if you ask me—is conveniently located near my house. I plan
    to snag a few reams for the smart-ass chicks on my list; those crazy bitches just
    lurves fancy stationery. And I suppose I’ll pick up wrapping paper while I’m there, too.
    P.S. Letterbox will be serving free hot cocoa to all customers on Saturday and
    Sunday.

    Local Motion (2813 Hennepin Ave) Again, it’s right in the neighborhood, and I’ll
    be dropping more hints. Love those elbow-length leather gloves!

    ROBOTlove (
    2648 Lyndale Ave. S.) My lucky niece might be getting one of
    the locally-made plush dolls above. These are by a Minneapolis-based artist named Curster, or Erin Currie.

    Minnesota
    Center
    for Book Arts
    (1011 Washington Ave. S.) If
    they won’t let me buy a gift certificate, redeemable for one of their family-friendly
    book-making workshops, then I can at least pick up some supplies for the budding, ten-year-old
    author on my list.