The Rake Magazine

Year: 2007

  • You Know

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    Easy world, you gave it once–

    please quietly welcome it back,

    that hand.


    –William Stafford, from “Going On”

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    …what is it we are all doing, what is it we are about, pray tell? And why are we gathered here?

    –Raymond Carver, “All My Relations”

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    What the hell do we want? What is our heart’s desire? What are all the dreams we still cling to as realistic and attainable? These, of course, as opposed to those we still harbor as old scars from the people we once hoped we would be and the lives we imagined ourselves living.

    For some of us, those old scars –the remnants of exploded dreams and ideals– have left us hobbled and hunchbacked. Still, though we may never be astronauts or artists or pop singers, there are still things we desperately want. We are not finished with desire. Those who would claim to be –and I don’t give a rat’s ass if they consider themselves Buddhists or burnouts– have left themselves for dead. They have shut their eyes. Or they are liars. They may have no waking recollection, but they still dream they are flying. They still climb ladders into the clouds and revisit magic sanctuaries they long ago tried to convince themselves didn’t exist. In their dreams they still feel the consoling touch of human hands.

    Such people have forgotten that invisibility was once upon a time a wondrous fantasy rather than a modern malaise, that it was a gift that allowed those to whom it was bestowed the opportunity to see the world and their place in it with absolute clarity. Now, though, it is an easy trick to pull off, an affliction from which we pray –if we are still able to pray– to be delivered.

    We may want many things, but what we desperately want is to be seen, and once seen to be recognized; once recognized to be heard, and once heard to be known.

  • A Kornukopia of Kids' Flix This Weekend

    Once again, it’s a children’s holiday, film-wise, here in our lovely city. Saturday at 10:15, the library‘s showing the lovely Horton Hears A Who (1966) and Sneetches and Zax (1972). Both films are light years better than the horrible, hateful Jim Carrey and Mike Myers vehicles of the past few years. The two cartoons are the creation of Chuck Jones and Fritz Freling (respectively), two of the geniuses in the Warner Bros. stable (Jones also directed the superior Grinch cartoon). Wendy Knox will be telling stories before the show.

    Sunday at 2, Cine-Kids, the Alliance Francaise children’s film program, will be screening Loulou et Autres Loups, which I would gladly take in if I could speak a word of French (no subtitles here). These nifty animated shorts “hope to break stereotypes of the Big Bad Wolf.”

    Yes, I am aware that cornucopia is spelled incorrectly.

  • About this weekend

    Well, tomorrow evening I’m going to see Lost in the Stars, a Kurt Weill opera put on by the company formerly known as North Star Opera, but is now called Skylark. If I wasn’t going there (isn’t this usually the case…) I would, honest to God, hit the Junior Brown show, for old time’s sake. Or Kid Dakotah/Wannabe Hasbeens.

    With the rest of my weekend, I’m going to estate sales, catching up on my reading, and just plain ol’ sitting around.

  • One More Sign of the Apocalypse

    I won’t bore you with another of my tales of woe, but I can relate to this one. The Philadelphia Inquirer, formerly owned by Knight-Ridder, is whacking the media column written by Gail Shister and directing her toward more “pop culture television features”. This can’t be seen as anything other than, A. Some kind of vendetta-driven ploy to get Shister to leave out of exasperation, or B. Further proof that the modern newspaper model has no tolerance for actual news about the news/entertainment industry.

    Was I once told, “No one cares about all that CNN stuff you write about.” Yes. Did I once ask, sarcastically, if they’d rather I write about, “The twelve hottest kisses on MTV?” Uh-huh. Did in fact my bosses respond to that last one with an enthusiastic, lip-smacking, “Yeeesssssss!!!!!” Yup, again.

    But was I ever as good a reporter as Gail Shister? No way. Gail is a battering ram. No one eludes her. If you gathered parts to assemble the best possible media industry reporter you end up with Gail. Every national anchor knows her by her first name and, in my judgment, respects her. Which is different from “liking” her, may I remind you.

    But almost every second-tier and lower paper is stepping back from serious coverage of modern electronic media. This despite what I was always told that readers showed high interest in the goings on at local TV stations and elsewhere. For reader research purposes, TV coverage is often lumped under “gossip”, which is then interchangeable with nattery celebrities, Paris Hilton and Tom Cruise, none of which is under-covered everywhere else.

    My guess is Shister will soon get a call from some “Gawker” like site. My curiosity will be if the Inquirer does the ethical thing and offers her a buy-out.

  • Note to Par: No One Pays for Readership

    OK, it was funny that Par Ridder’s staff memo about graphics guru Monica Moses leaving the Star Tribune appeared on Jim Romenesko’s site before it was sent out to the paper’s employees. But hey, maybe we should see that as a concession to harsh reality. In a prolonged information vacuum, Ridder must know that his (new) staff long ago learned to search outside the building for the first and final words about their fate.

    But what gets the skeptical dogs’ heads shaking is Ridder, a sales guy, trying to slide the old “readership increase” babble passed a group of professional skeptics, people who really do deserve to be fired if they ever fall for sleight-of-hand jargon as lame as that.

    As EVERYONE who works in newspapers today knows, readership has no monetary value. Increased “readership” is impossible to prove. On the other hand, you can prove circulation, which is why the Star Tribune’s advertisers buy based on paid circulation numbers, not some fanciful, in-the-best-of-all-possible-worlds guess-timate.

    But there was young Par, still getting his bearings after abandoning the Pioneer Press for a sturdier vessel, trying to impress his ever more skeptical staff that Ms. Moses’ seven-figure, umpteen month redesign of the Star Tribune, which debuted to a shrug, at best, in October of ’05 … increased readership.

    For the record, using numbers from the Audit Bureau of Circulation and published in the Star Tribune, circulation has DECLINED since the redesign. The Sunday edition is every paper’s cash cow. In 2004 the Sunday Strib had a circulation of 671,275. In 2005 it was 655,198. By 2006 it had dropped to 596,333.

    Ridder would have his employees believe that despite selling far fewer papers MORE people were reading them. If you believe that I’ve got an ’83 Yugo with a salvage title that I’m telling you is one hot chick magnet.

    I’m not arguing that the fall off that last cliff was Moses’ fault, only that a new boss with shaky credibility — Ridder’s principal claim to competence is his proven ability to supervise downsizing and decontenting — does himself no favors with a restless, anxious staff like the Strib’s by serving up stale, transparent bullshit.

  • Crunch Time

    Although it goes against the organization’s general philosophy, it sure seems like Alexi Casilla, the kid the Twins nabbed from the Angels in exchange for J.C. Romero, deserves a spot on the roster when the team breaks camp at the end of the month.

    As much as Terry Ryan and company might want Casilla to play every day at Rochester, the 22-year-old shortstop/second baseman is exactly the kind of player the Twins could use right now, and would seem to have a clear advantage over Luis Rodriguez, except for the fact that Rodriquez has played some third base and Nick Punto is hobbled at the moment and hasn’t had a good spring. Casilla, though, is a switch hitter and a speedster of the sort the Twins haven’t had in a while (he’s six-for-six in stolen base attempts this spring, and had fifty SBs –in sixty attempts– between Fort Myers and New Britain last year). He can spell either Jason Bartlett or Luis Castillo (and Castillo is a notoriously creaky character who’s almost certain to come up lame at some point in the season). The wild card in all this, of course, is Jeff Cirillo, who will likely split time at DH and can play anywhere in the infield in a pinch.

    It looks like the Twins will do the predictable thing and send Casilla to Triple A, but I’ll also wager that he won’t be there for long.

    The battle for slots in the starting rotation has been interesting all along, but with the struggles of Carlos Silva and the strong performances from Boof Bonser, Matt Garza, and Glen Perkins (at least until he scuffled a bit in his last outing), it looks like more of a horse race all the time. Ramon Ortiz has nailed down a spot following Santana, but the other three positions are still apparently up for grabs. I’m supposing the Twins will go ahead and give Sidney Ponson a chance to pitch himself out of the rotation, and Silva, despite his awful spring, will probably get a shot as well, but I don’t see how you could decide between Bonser and Garza for the fifth spot. Hell, a decent argument could be made that either of them should be the third starter.

    What say you?

  • New World vs. Old World

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    Have you read the “manifesto”?

    Last December, some of the most influential men in food wrote what they called “an international agenda for great cooking”. The Fab Four were Ferran Adria of El Bulli, Heston Blumenthal of The Fat Duck, Thomas Keller of The French Laundry and Per Se, and food scientist/author Harold McGee.

    The agenda’s main point is to debunk the term “molecular gastronomy” while celebrating the new horizons of food and technique. They believe that this is an important and historic era of cookery, but they don’t want to be misunderstood by the next generation of chefs.

    They want us to know that they have heart.

    They want it understood that just because they use fancy machines and funky techniques and xanthum gum, it doesn’t mean that passion need be lost. They believe in excellence, integrity, openness, and embracing innovation and evolution. They believe in that marvelous Brillat-Savarin quote: The discovery of a new dish does more for human happiness than the discovery of a new star.

    I’m on board. I’m drinking the kool-aid foam and loving it. My brain is engaged with the New World cooking and I’m headed to Alinea in April to experience the new frontier.

    But tonight, I’m going to Broder’s Pasta Bar. I have been thinking about it for a week now, and I’m really in need of a beautifully crafted pasta dish. I’ve been thinking about the linguine with clams, because the pancetta makes it smokey and the peppers make it spicy. But I’m feeling Springy, so the spaghetti with Star Prairie Farms trout, sweet peas, lemon and basil might call to me. Sitting at the bar, watching the cooks swirl the pans with bright, fresh ingredients, adding the home-made egg pasta at the perfect moment, giving it a toss … that’s cooking to feed the soul.

  • KSTP-TV. It is All About the Balance.

    So I’m watching “Lost” last night, the only network series I make an “appointment” to catch every week, what with all the time I’ve committed to blowing spit wads at Bill O’Reilly. Last night was a big episode. The back story to John Locke, who was crippled and wheel-chair bound until crashing on the island. And I stuck with it pretty good even through ABC’s usual blizzard of commercial breaks, some long enough to walk the dog, wash the car, re-paint the basement and fix a five course snack. (And they wonder why viewership is dropping?)

    Checking back in the room during one of these marathons to see if programming had resumed, I caught either a crawl or a voiced teaser, can’t remember which, from the KSTP, Channel 5, Eyewitness news room. Something about “Al Gore”, “controversial” and “global warming”.

    The teaser worked. Knowing KSTP is, shall we say, “challenged” on the notion of global climate change, i.e. The Hubbards don’t believe in it, I knew I’d have to stay tuned to see the twist KSTP would put on an Al Gore Capitol Hill performance. I was not disappointed.

    So “Lost” signs off and we begin the usual Eyewitness News hit parade of mayhem; near abductions of innocent children, terrified neighborhoods, murders, fear, attempted murders, plagues of venomous snakes, (I’m making that up), and on and on making the Twin Cities sound worse than Al Anbar province until we finally get to reporter Tim Sherno(*) in St. Louis Park. Sherno has a story about one wingnut protesting the city’s plan to show, “An Inconvenient Truth” at some civic venue. The guy is thumping the “teach both sides” argument. You know, like the “theory” of evolution vs. creationism, the “theory” of gravity vs. non-gravity, etc. He is one guy in a basement vs. City Hall — but Eyewitness News smells news and believes in balance. Al Gore movie? A guy in a basement complaining about it. Equal time. That’s, uh, journalism.

    To Sherno’s credit he inserts a clip of the crackpot, “Global Warming is a Fraud”, (not exact title), movie the wingnut wants St. Louis Park to show … as balance. He also points out that … no surprise here … the winger hasn’t bothered to see, “An Inconvenient Truth”, (yet flatly asserts it is partisan, politically motivated, yadda yadda, insert the usual talking points).

    With that as a set-up Cyndy Brucato and Leah McClean intro the Al Gore-before-Congress clip, which has Gore in a chair at a Senate hearing with an unidentified legislator — actually renown bonehead, James Inhofe of Oklahoma — the Senate’s version of a basement dwelling wingnut telling Gore he’s just plain wrong and Gore responding with the analogy of the “planet having a fever”. And that’s enough of that. End of clip. A balanced report. One “theory” refuted in the same breath by one person who says it ain’t so. Another bright night for TV journalism … now over to Dave Dahl. “And say Dave, didn’t it snow a couple weeks ago? So much for all that global warming talk, huh? Ho, ho, ho.”

    Now, in modern, culturally and intellectually fragmented America, where the thinking of the late Nebraska Senator Roman Hruska has born fruit and every group really can have its own set of facts, KSTP is doing a tremendous service to those who don’t want to know much or be sold this global warming-Al Gore-liberal-hoax bill of goods. (Hruska is the man who once argued that mediocre lawyers, people and judges deserved representation from a mediocre supreme court justice, like Nixon nominee, Harold Carswell).

    Of course if you’re “one of those” who watch news to learn more than you already know, you are probably more inclined to accept the findings of the vast preponderance of pedigreed climatologists as opposed to a wingnut or one lunk-headed Senator. If you are, the KSTP version of journalism probably seems a little thin and suspect … which might explain the station’s consistently miserable ratings.

    A wingnut in a basement and a bite-for-bite stand-off between a guy who has studied the issue deeply and one who hasn’t … and that folks is your community service for tonight.

    Not that KSTP was ever in the market for fully-fleshed report on the face off between Gore and the few remaining Congressional Flat Earthers, but it was, by Dana Milbank’s account in the Washington Post’s video section, a lot more interesting and significantly different than KSTP represented it.

    * Because he is lawyered to the teeth, I’m required to credit Sherno with the title of this blog each and every time I mention his name.

  • Mailman blues

    It seems a local mailman has written a book. Check it; Vincent Wyckoff reads from Beware of the Cat: And Other Encounters of a Letter Carrier tonight at Lyndale United Church of Christ. Of course, the job of a mailman hasn’t exactly been romanticized to the point of, say, a truck driver. (I chalk it up to the regular hours and cushy benefit packages.) But a mailman’s workday does afford the opportunity for exercise and to walk about the world, which automatically makes the profession seem more attractive. Can country western letter-carrier ditties be that far off?

  • The Three-Pointer: Breakthrough on the Road

    Game #67, Road Game #35, Minnesota 95, Sacramento 89

    1. Fine Points

    There probably was a game way back in the Casey-coaching days of ’06 when both Randy Foye and Mike James played with confidence, aggression, and efficiency, but it sure felt like a revelation in a water-for-the-parched win over Sacramento last night. It matters only a little that the Kings’ Mike Bibby may be the most overrated point guard in the league and has never played decent defense–there have been literally dozens of games when James and/or Foye haven’t bothered to look for penetration off the dribble, or even a quick crossover or two that would free them up from outside. Instead, “better safe than sorry” seemed to be the mantra in their heads, instilled either by overcoaching or their own memory demons. Not so last night, as the pair (who never played together) combined for 36 points, 6 assists and just 2 turnovers in 48 minutes.

    Two-thirds of those point and assist totals were Foye’s, registered in barely more than half the minutes-played. Foye was also a +9 to James’s -3. But this is not the time to denigrate James just because, for a boatload of reasons, he has no business starting at this juncture of the season. For the third straight game he stopped playing like a deer in the headlights, even anticipating a lazy inbounds pass for a steal and layup midway through the third quarter, one of three layups he converted in the period en route to a team-high 10 points that helped the Wolves hang around until Foye could take over the game with 14 points in the 4th quarter.

    Where has that Randy Foye been lately? “Learning” the point guard position, apparently. Whether it was Foye or Wittman or whoever who decided it was time to take the shackles off and “let Foye be Foye,” it certainly helps put some juice back in the rook’s self-regard, right in sync with three upcoming games against Seattle’s Luke Ridenour (twice) and Portland’s Jarrett Jack, a pair of foes over which a flourishing Foye enjoys a distinct advantage.

    Two more things. We all know that ex-coach Dwane Casey is looking smarter all the time in absentia, and it is interesting to note that Wittman reverted back to Casey’s old substitution pattern with Foye last night, playing him almost exclusively in the second and fourth periods. On that note, the ever helpful Wolves stat guru, Paul Swanson, sent along this interesting bit of info in the wee hours of the night/morn.
    Inspired by Randy Foye’s game-clinching jumper with :16.8 remaining at Sacramento:

    2006-07 Minnesota Timberwolves
    Scoring in Last 24 Seconds of 4th Quarters & Overtime Periods
    (through Mar. 21)

    Player FGM-A 3FG-A FTM-A Pts
    Foye 11-21 2- 4 10-10 34
    Garnett 6-20 3-10 13-16 28
    Davis 9-23 3- 7 6- 8 27
    James 3- 7 2- 3 8- 9 16
    Blount 4- 6 2- 2 0- 2 10
    McCants 2- 2 1- 1 2- 2 7
    Hassell 1- 3 0- 0 4- 4 6
    Hudson 1- 4 1- 2 2- 2 5
    Smith 1- 2 0- 1 2- 2 4
    Reed 1- 4 0- 0 0- 0 2
    Wright 1- 3 0- 1 0- 0 2
    Jaric 0- 2 0- 1 1- 2 1
    Madsen 0- 2 0- 0 0- 0 0
    Griffin 0- 1 0- 1 0- 0 0

    Now Swanny’s list doesn’t include minutes played or assists, but it is pretty clear that Foye is the go-to guy, the Cassell replacement this team envisioned as James’s role heading into the season (and it should be noted that James’s numbers aren’t that shabby here).

    The other thing Wittman did well last night was realize the synergy that occurs when Foye and Marko Jaric play together. All but 43 seconds of Jaric’s 21:52 came alongside Foye last night, and it is no coincidence that he was a team-high +15. In fact it bears noting that the Wolves staged their 4th quarter comeback with 4/5 of the same lineup that earned the comeback over Indiana: KG/Smith/Foye/Jaric, with Ricky Davis subbing in for Rashad McCants this time as the 5th man.

    2. The Big Banger Theory
    With Brad Miller and Kenny Thomas both waylaid with injuries, the Kings went with a frontcourt of Sharif Abdur-Rahim and Corliss Williamson. Since Garnett lunches on Ab-Ra every time they play, Sac coach Eric Musselman wisely decided to matchup with Sharif on Blount and Williamson on KG.

    Unfortunately, Williamson had his way with Garnett in the first period, going off for 10 points and 6 rebounds to propel Sacramento to a 28-22 margin. Williamson would only get 7 points and 4 boards the rest of the game while playing 37:07, and KG hauled in a game-high 18 rebounds, so everything was all right in the end. But it once again drove home the point that the biggest need for this ballclub by a wide wide margin is acquiring a big banger who can patrol and intimidate in the paint, allowing Garnett to avoid the wear-and-tear that his injury-resistant body continually absorbs.

    This isn’t solely for Garnett’s sake (although easing life and maximizing production for your superstar is Priority One for most ballclubs that have one); it would dramatically improve Minnesota’s competitiveness. Don’t forget that the most successful season in team history was accomplished with the hydra-headed trio of Erv Johnson, Mark Madsen and Michael Olowokandi rotating in at center. Of those three, an already aging Erv started because he set the tone on the court as well as in the locker room: Stay at home down low. Box out. Communicate on defense. Don’t worry about how many points you score; just anchor the defense and allow no easy points in the paint. This is a lesson that undersized Craig Smith (+10 last night, second only to Jaric) understands. Players like this really aren’t *that* hard to find for a million or two a year. Instead, we have Blount for more than 6 million.

    On that note, here is another part of the Paul Swanson package from late last night:

    2006-07 Minnesota Timberwolves
    Offensive Fouls Drawn
    (through Mar. 21)

    Smith 21
    Davis 17
    Blount 13
    Garnett 11
    Foye 10
    Madsen 10
    Hassell 7
    Reed 7
    Jaric 6
    James 5
    Hudson 3
    Griffin 2
    McCants 2
    Wright 1

    2006-07 Minnesota Timberwolves
    Plus/Minus by Month
    (through Mar. 21)

    Player G Nov Dec Jan Feb Mar Tot
    Blount 67 + 3 -21 -37 -62 -80 -197
    Davis 66 -24 +38 +34 -35 -98 – 85
    Foye 67 +17 -45 -12 -24 -25 – 89
    Garnett 66 +18 +48 +40 -16 -54 + 36
    Hassell 62 -16 +14 +22 -73 -18 – 71
    Hudson 34 + 8 +21 -43 – 7 -45 – 66
    James 67 -33 – 6 -25 -42 -24 -130
    Jaric 60 +17 -26 -60 +15 -53 -107
    Madsen 45 + 7 -16 +40 -20 – 3 + 8
    McCants 23 DNP DNP + 1 – 7 +27 + 21
    Reed 33 + 2 – 7 -28 – 5 + 7 – 31
    Smith 67 + 6 +15 -44 -20 -21 – 64
    Wright 14 + 6 – 4 +27 – 4 + 2 + 27
    x-Griffin 13 -46 -26 DNP DNP DNP – 72
    Wolves 67 – 7 – 3 -17 -60 -77 -164

    You’ll note that despite low minutes and the fact that we gets robbed by the refs at least half the time on these borderline charging-or-blocking calls, Smith has made taking charges something of a specialty (second only to Joe Smith in Wolves’s history; it must be the mundane last name that compels such unsung behavior). To be fair, Blount also takes more than his share (ditto RD). But move on to the plus/minus totals. Blount’s plus/minus is the worst on the squad by a wide margin, and the worst over the past two months as the Wolves have swooned. Davis is second, and the worst in the month of March.

    Of all the confounding things about this franchise, their inability to secure and nurture at least one decent banger throughout their history–Felton Spencer comes closest, and they traded him after three years–is the most inexplicable, and Exhibit A in the mishandling of KG’s career.

    3. Quick Takes

    I think I’ll stop bashing Ricky Davis long enough to note that he had another really good game last night, helping Jaric (and to a lesser extent, Trenton Hassell) put the clamps on Kevin Martin and Ron Artest (although Martin missed a bevy of open j’s and Artest was the “bad” Artest in terms of shot selection and overall team corrosion). Ricky even guarded Bibby a little bit to throw him off at the start of the game. He was a dishing maestro, with his 7 assists not doing his passing justice because of the would-be dimes that prompted fouls or easy misses, and the pass-before-the-assist-pass momentum that he stoked. To cap it off, he nailed a pair of crucial treys in crunchtime. Much as I wanted McCants on the floor for that final comeback (for the good of the future, which should be the point right now), to win this game on this night, Davis was the right choice.

    Since the ankle sprain (and actually a bit before then), Hassell has had trouble finding his niche. Right now the ballclub clearly performs better with Jaric in the lineup. It really is a contrast of styles: Jaric runs around like the absent-minded professor, making all sorts of good and terrible things happen. Hassell is steady as Grandpa Molasses, making sure no opponent gets an easy look at the hoop and kind of ensuring the same for his teammates with his current inability to hit an open J or force the opposing D to respond to him in any other meaningful fashion.

    IMHO: The less said about the playoffs, the better. One, it isn’t going to happen. Two, if it does, the Wolves will lose a draft pick and suffer enormous embarrassment on a national stage in the first round, goading KG in the direction of bolting. Anyone who remembers my rant over the Madsen’s clownfest in last year’s finale knows my take on tanking. You honor the game and your karma by putting forth your best effort. Fortunately, in this case it means playing a young lineup–something Coach Wittman (who needs to go 12-3 to match Casey’s .500 mark) either doesn’t understand, or, as has been speculated by others, knows full well as he conducts a guerrilla campaign to get that draft pick.