Extreme Naked Sushi

I got a press release the other day from Temple, Thom Pham’s
Asian Fusion restaurant, announcing that on March 8, the restaurant will hold
a Nyotaimori / Nantaimori event.
"Nyotaimori and Nantaimori," the press release helpful explains, "are accepted
traditions in Japan of serving sashimi and sushi off of the body of a woman or
a man. It has been practiced for centuries, initiated as an art by the
Geisha Community."

This struck me as a bit dubious. Given the traditional
status of women in Japanese society, it wouldn’t surprise if me salarymen out
for a night on the town might use naked geishas as serving trays. But naked
men? Maybe it happens, but I doubt it has been practiced for centuries.

"Temple has been noted for its unique and beautiful
presentation of Sushi," the press release continues. "Now Temple
continues in its pursuit of presenting sushi as a true form of ‘Art.’"

It turns out this is a trend that has come and gone in other
parts of the world. According to an article on the website, Japan for the
Uninvited
, body sushi "received a lot of media attention in the West in the
1990s. This coverage massively exaggerated the popularity of nyotaimori in
Japan – these restaurants are actually very rare, and generally associated with
organized crime rather than being mainstream."

If Tom Pham really wants to be on the cutting edge, he could try serving wakame sake, which, according to Japan for the Uninvited, "is poured down a model’s body and drunk from the cup formed by her closed thighs. The name “wakame“, meaning soft seaweed, refers to the pubic hair floating in the drink. This is not widely-practiced, and wakame sake is even rarer than nyotaimori."

Well, naked sushi still sounded like a good idea to me. But March 8
seems like a long time to wait, though, and the cost for nyotaimori night at
Temple – $75 per person, including sushi, sake and champagne, is a little
beyond my budget. So I stopped off at the Midtown Global Market, and picked up
a six-piece sushi sampler from the Sea Port Market: two pieces apiece of
salmon, tuna and eel.

I think I probably could have talked the missus into letting
me eat sushi off of her naked body. It was the part about letting me take a
picture of her naked with sushi on her body and post it on this blog that was
the deal-breaker. So I suggested instead that she take a picture of me with the
sushi artfully displayed on my body. She didn’t think this was a very tasteful
idea, but I am willing to let the public judge for itself – I am willing to
take risks for my art.

This she was willing to do.

We have two cats, Edgar and Hazel, who are usually
restricted to a diet of raw kibble, but this definitely aroused their
curiosity. These guys work as a team. While Carol was arranging the sushi and
chopsticks, Hazel snuck up behind her and started licking one of the pieces of
salmon. Then Eddie started licking the tuna on my chest.

At any rate, Carol dutifully snapped the photo of the tuna –
a piece that the cats had not touched. And then she tasted it. "Tastes like
cold sushi," she said.

Edgar declined comment.

 


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