Ruf Rash

(e.d.: I wish I had an uncle like Kurt Nelson’s. The "Yellobird" is just the most famous roadgoing Porsche Turbo of all time. Big article in Sports Car International this month–the only one you should read. Here are Kurt’s fond memories of the RUF experience, rashes included:)

The day I drove a RUF CTR stays with me like a good rash —
something a little annoying, but the burning sensation went away with boost, oh
so lovely boost.

There is Porsche, and then there are the RUF variants,
taking what is already a potent automobile and transforming them into
unbelievable driving machines. Alois Ruf
Jr., the man behind the engines, takes his place as one of the worlds foremost
tuners, and I was fortunate enough to have driven one of his iconic cars. I
actually got to flog it a bit, spin the tires and move the speedo a little, all
the while remaining very smug

About 15 years ago my
uncle brought me into his garage to show me the latest acquisition to his
stable; a RUF Porsche CTR, or commonly known as the “Yellowbird”. This is a car he picked up new and shipped to
Germany for Alois Ruf Jr. to do his magic.
That magic included taking a normally aspirated 3.6l engine and thru
some “tweaks” turning it into a 475 hp beast with a manual boost control
allowing for up to 32 lbs of turbo mayhem coupled with quad pot Brembo brakes
all around; if you are going to propel
to outrageous speeds, you had better be able to come to a screeching halt if needed.

I was giddy when the engine turned over: the rumble was like a heartbeat, a low
thumping which belied the power under the hood. This was long before the rice
burners and the fart cans sticking out the back, so having a little noise from
the exhaust actually meant something. It
was the roar when he kicked the throttle down that made my inner child stand up
and say holy farcking-schmidt.

He drove first, allowing me to feel what it’s like to be
pinned to the seat, in 3 gears, engine roaring, tires smoking, and passing cars like they were in
reverse. To be fair, mid way into 3^rd
gear and we were over 120 mph, but who was keeping track, not me I was too busy
trying to wipe the full shit eating grin off my face.

After some begging, groveling really, and promising that I
would not fuck up the car, we changed seats and I got to drive this piece of
automotive wonder. Buckles fastened,
smile firmly attached to face, and my license in a easily reachable place just
in case, I let er rip, smoking the tires and shifting as fast as I could into
second, not just to preserve the motor, but also to stop the wheel spin, and
really feel the acceleration when those sticky tires hooked up. I knew that the acceleration would be mind
blowing, but what I really wanted was to get into the twistys, ya know, let it
all out on some curves, testing to see if those tires were worth their value at
$300 each. On my first freeway cloverleaf,
I experienced the drivability issue common to Porsche; over steer. Coming in at 90, I hit the brakes hard, and
got the car a bit sideways, with the backend coming around more than was
comfortable, and really it was not a problem, but my passenger suddenly had a
less than comfortable look on his face. Hey,
if you don’t push it a bit every now and then, how do you know what the limits
are or how do find out if those tires perform as predicted. A bonus is being able to steer with the right
foot, using the throttle to point shoot at will. Pulling a rollercoaster like g force, the car
just tracked around the cloverleaf and rocketed into the merge lane at 75, just
out of 2^nd gear. That was fun
so I sought out another set of cloverleaf exchanges, and to varying degrees I
had the car either under control or out of control, depending on the
driver or passenger perspective.

This was all we could muster, due to traffic and the
presence of the police, who were eying the car, just waiting for me to do
something stupid. I did bring it up to
about 140 when we were out of traffic, and judging by how hard is was pulling,
the claim by RUF of a top end over 200mph seemed plausible.

He has since sold the RUF, and other cars have come into the fold including a Ferrari 512M
which is a kick to drive as well , but that Porsche lingers in my memory and always brings a smile
and a regret that I did not go to law school and become a criminal defense
attorney.

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