Author: Domenic Cossi

From my friend Andy Fuller.

Pitchers and catchers report. We can arise from our slumber.

Since the beginning of human civilization we have moved with the rhythms of the seasons. When most of us were tied to the land, we gathered and hunted and farmed and traveled as the seasons allowed.

When the industrial revolution transformed our lives in every conceivable way, the great manufacturing centers attracted people from all over the countryside with promises of a better life. Perhaps life in these cities was better. Maybe it was worse. One thing is certain – as more of us punched a timecard and fewer of us planted seeds, we started to lose our seasonal rhythm.

As we fell out of sync with the seasons, a game blossomed.

Baseball became enormously popular during the most significant developments of the industrial revolution. As the railroad and internal combustion engine irrevocably sped up all aspects of our lives, we turned to baseball to regain our rhythm – the promise of Spring Training, the lazy days of mid-season and the All Star break, the drama of the Fall Classic.

And so, 150 years later, we wait. We wait for the four words that will allow us to awake from our wintry hibernation. This Sunday we will hear them, for on Sunday the Minnesota Twins’ pitchers and catchers report.

We know it’s coming. We can feel it. It’s primal, instinctual. We know pitchers and catchers are reporting like we used to know maples and cottonwoods were budding. We know we will hear familiar voices during the radio sportscast like we knew that sunnier days were in the forecast. We know when pitchers and catchers report we can shake off the listlessness that builds over the unrelenting winter.

It’s time to wake up. It’s springtime. Pitchers and catchers report.

I stopped in at Sebastian Joe’s last night and was happy to find that they have a special tied to the temerature in January and February. Depending on what the low temperature is on a given day you can get anywhere from 5 to 25 percent off ice cream. This weekend we should be looking at a 20 percent discount with low temps in the negative teens.

I know Great Waters used to tie their Thursday happy hours to the temperature in Honolulu, but they’ve gone to 99 cent beers.

Are there any other temperature tied dicounts out there we can take advantage of in this cold snap?

For me, I plan to load up on ice cream.

Yesterday I had one of those zen moments while doing laundry. What if I judged the passing of time not by weeks and months but instead by laundry loads. How many laundry loads old am I? If I had to hazard guess it would be about 852. That sounds a lot wiser than 29 years old. Maybe that’s how the bible kept track of Methuselah’s age.

I remember physics classes in High School, where I learned that time is relative. So why shouldn’t I keep track of it how I please? I would love the flexibility of judging time by laundry load. I could call a client and say I’ll have that for you in one-and-a-half loads. But since I choose when that is, I could fit in some leisure activities. At least till I ran out of clothes.

There may be some better ways to judge. By vacations(most people do this already). Or maybe by meals. I am 31,245 meals old.

How old are you?

A trip to Lambeau field to watch the Vikings play the Packers would be a highlight of the year for any real football fan. I don’t quite fit that level, but with a father that grew up in the U.P. (thus making him a Green Bay fan) I didn’t even realize until I got to college that you can’t really be a fan of both teams. So when offered the chance to go to the game while visiting my girlfriend’s family in Green Bay over Christmas, I jumped at it.

I had been an avid fan of the Vikings first and Packers second growing up. Not this avid of course, but I did my share of yelling at the T.V. Now though I cherish my free time too much to spend Sundays watching anything except and occasional matinee. So I’m left with catching news and some games while I’m out and about.

The game was about as ugly as one can imagine. And my one hope of seeing Favre throw seven touchdowns to tie the record didn’t happen. He didn’t even throw one. But Lambeau did not disappoint. Though it rained on and off throughout the game, I had a great time crammed in between some Packer fans and Vikings fans. The rhetoric was suprisingly civil with each side yelling that the other side sucks and each responding “I know”. In the end the Packers pulled out an ugly victory and I had to admit I was a little disappointed even though I had told my girlfriend I was rooting for them. I do hope Favre comes back next year. He’s so close to two records: TDs and INTs.

My friend Claudia had some great things to say in a coversation we had the other night about our mutual love of the Sky Mall. She offered to share them and I gladly accepted. Here you go:

For most americans, the holiday season involves two, often expensive, components: travel and shopping. Even though I’m from Milwaukee, a mere five hour drive from the cities, I prefer to fly home when I can afford it. It saves wear and tear on my junker car and I actually enjoy the hustle and bustle of the airport. Plus, it only takes an hour to get there.

Ironically, I despise the hustle and bustle of the typical holiday shopping experience. I refuse to go anywhere near a mall between thanksgiving and christmas, and even browsing in smaller shops during the holiday season makes me understand why the suicide rate spikes during the month of December.

There is one place where my love of airline travel and hatred of christmas shopping come together to form a perfect compromise. The Sky Mall Catalog. I know the sky mall catalog has a reputation for being full of ridiculous and over-priced merchandise. The publication’s existence hinges primarily on the amusement of captive airline travelers. I’ve never known of anyone actually buying anything from Sky Mall, but last month on my flight home for Thanksgiving I saw Sky Mall through a fresh set of eyes. In the hour it took me to get from the Lindberg Terminal to Mitchell International Airport I found an array of practical, reasonably-priced gifts for most of my family and friends. I also found some completely outrageous stuff that could only be found in a place like Sky Mall. For each of my loved ones I’ve listed one reasonable gift (under $50) and one signature Sky Mall gift (the sky’s the limit!).

For my mom, who deserves to be pampered, a head spa massager ($50). Although what better gift for a proud mother than a photo of me turned into a painted portrait ($75-$400)?

For dad, who likes gadgets, a hand held lie detector ($40). My favorite gift in the whole catalog is a remote control robot shark ($100), which dad would think was much cooler.

For my sister, the wine connoisseur, a cork trivet kit ($25). Even though she would get plenty of use out of an oxygen displacing and cooling wine vault ($300).

For my brother-in-law, always the practical one, an ice scraper/mitten ($20) or maybe a personalized BBQ branding iron ($90). You never know when someone is going to try and steal your steak!

For my darling niece, who only has one aunt to spoil her, a twilight turtle ($35), which projects lighted constellations onto her ceiling at night. But what kind of aunt would I be if I didn’t get her her own popcorn cart ($1600)? And maybe a cotton candy machine ($400) to go with it.

For my grandma, who is always cold, a cuddle blanket ($45) or heat and misting patio palm ($1000).

For my favorite feline, I’m sure she would appreciate a remote control mouse ($25) as much as I would appreciate a no touch cat litter box ($300).

Please note that all my selections came from the paper catalog. Their online catalog is more extensive. I strongly suggest getting all your shopping done in one place: 30,000 feet up.

Give me snow. I want it. I want to play in it. I want to see it. I’ll shovel. I’ll get wet shoes. I’ll let my boss give me whitewashes.

Much to my suprise while doing some research this weekend, I realized that we have actually been getting more inches of snow per year in the past ten years than our average over the last hundred. Why does is seem like we haven’t then?

Here are monthly averages for snow and temperature .

I took these tables and put them in excel and then did ten year averages. Turns out in the last ten years we have averaged 52 inches of snow while in the last 100 years it was 45. However in November it has been right around an average 6 inches.

It looks like the snow has not been sticking around though because (suprise) the big difference in temperature. The average median temp in November over the last 10 years is 36. Meaning snow melts. The 10 years before that the average in November was 31.53. Meaning it could stick around.

This will get really boring if I go into stats about global warming so I’ve linked to the excel files below. But damn I want snow. I associate my childhood years with playing in snow. My favorite days in Northern Minnesota were waking up with a fresh coat and walking in complete silence through the woods to the bus stop. We are 10 years removed from the last time I used snowshoes.

Disclaimer: I’m not a meteorologist – but I could play one on T.V.

Ok. Here are links to the files. Note that the snowfall seasons actually END in the year on the left of the column. So the 2006 season was 2005-2006 winter.

Temperatures: Download file

Snowfall: Download file

For a lot more climate info go to: http://climate.umn.edu/

I have flown six times in the past year – three times on Sun Country and three on the “major” airlines. The experience on the the two is so different it is almost laughable.

Apparently, Sun Country lost money last year. For some reason I thought it was making money. It is not hard to see why it would. Every flight I have taken has been on time in both directions this year. On the major airlines, conversly, I have had minimum delays of two hours on 5 out of the six flights I took. Two hour delay 85% of the time – it is absurd. And while I was waiting I could tell I was one of the lucky ones on the major airlines – I actually got on the flight I was scheduled to be on. I could not believe the amount of people around me that had been at the airport all day.

Sun Country’s free meal is about what you’d expect on a flight, but compared to the $5 snack box on NWA it is a king’s feast.

On my most recent flight – which was before the holiday weekend – I boarded a major airline exactly two hours late. While waiting I thought about Sun Country’s recent announcement of expansion. I hope it doesn’t lead to the same problems. Right now before I check any other flights I check if Sun Country goes to my destination. I’d like to keep it that way.

If only we could ditch the Turkey.

Thanksgiving easily trumps all other Holidays at this point in my life. As a kid, the two week Christmas vacation with presents and the week long Easter vacation with a fun egg hunt overshadowed the four day weekend and “kids’ table”.

With the advent of adult cynism the luster of Christmas has been slowly wearing off since at least my sophomore year of college. The unbridled materialism that hits you at every waking minute coupled with the demands of seeing every single relative of yours as well as your significant other (with divorced parents for both, this is compounded) always makes me both tired in just about every way.

On the other hand Thanksgiving now brings only the bit of stress of cooking with family members as well as four glorious days off with little commitment to other events or get togethers.

Maybe it will change when I have kids. In the meantime, bring on the Turkey.

This week I voted absentee for the second time in three years. I have to say I love it. Seems like a lot of people love it too. The Star Tribune’s article really only skims the surface of the issue. What isn’t stated is the oppotunity that a lot of poor people will have to actually vote if they vote absentee. Many work all day on election day and don’t get to the polls. If they knew they could do it via mail at their liesure it could significantly raise voter turn-out. And significantly change the political landscape.

I went to the Mall of America the other day with my girlfriend to buy some shoes. Of course we had to stop at Banana Republic and some other stores. When the stop got a little long I wandered over to Brookstone and partook in my one of my favorite pastimes: sitting in a massage chair. I haven’t done this in quite a few years and they have made some impressive chairs since my days of loitering in the mall as a 16 year old.

The new chairs actually have a warm up period where the knobs sense where your shoulders are at, which results in an incredibly accurate massage. Of course the one I tried cost $4,300. However, the manager offered up the fact that they were hiring and I could take advantage of an employee discount of 30%. Now that may just have been the best job offer I have ever had.