Author: Hugh Bennewitz

“The Winter Carnival suspended the 2005 Vulcan Krewe and ordered future krewes to wear their real names on their costumes. In the past they have used character names, including ‘Baron Hot Sparkus’ and ‘Grand Duke Fertilious.’ The new Vulcans will also stop placing garters on women’s legs and attaching pins to their clothing. They will also take sexual harrassment and cultural sensitivity training.”—MPR

**To view the complete side-splittingly funny comic, scroll down and click on the PDF file named RakeVulcans.pdf

Has Minneapolis gone crazy for cantilevers? We humbly submit proposals for other buildings that could benefit from this glamorous architectural amenity.

1. Keep an eye on rising gas prices while enjoying your double-dip cone—inside the new Loon grocery/gas station/ice cream parlor at 28th and Lyndale.

2. In 1967, the Yippies wanted to levitate the Pentagon. If they’d only had an engineer and a cantilever!

3. Safety solutions at Ground Zero. Why not turn the Freedom Tower on its side? Voila—the Freedom Walkway to New Jersey.

4. Putting a stop to needless, hurtful speculation.

5. The next phase of Cedar Lake’s Flatpak House eliminates double-decker bikes from the gene pool—or at least from Kenilworth Bike Path.

6. Sex World’s “West Schwing” arouses envy. It is not allowed, however, to actually touch Choice Gentleman’s Club, across the street.

Click on the PDF below!

You can do it!

Here are the answers:

Magers—the King; Robinson—the Count; Santaniello—the Helmet; Binkley—Bozo the Piece; Grayson—Best in Show; Diana Pierce—Ferret-Glo; Murphy—the Wet Mop; Gatenby—the Rust Bucket

Print this out, and no matter how you fold it, somebody’s getting bent.

You will need Adobe Acrobat Reader to open the file. If you don’t have Adobe Acrobat Reader, you can download it here.