Author: Lucie Amundsen

  • Taming the Lunch Line

    Decreasing student enrollment in Minneapolis, and the subsequent shuttering of some nine of its public schools, has been big news in the last couple of years. Less known, perhaps, are the pressures that have resulted at remaining schools—especially in the cafeteria. 

    For example, Whittier International Elementary in South Minneapolis is a popular selection in the state’s school-choice lottery system and thus has seen enrollment go from 350 students in 2005 to nearly 500 in 2007. With this population surge, about a hundred kids are shuffling through the cafeteria every thirty minutes—for five consecutive lunch periods. Needless to say, things can get a little wild in what is already, by tradition, one of the more lawless realms at any K-12 institution. Seeking to impose some order, Whittier officials did a very au courant thing: They outsourced the problem to a consultant.


    Nancy Burns
    is a certified classroom management trainer who has coached over ten-thousand teachers in her nine-year career. But in 2001, she began scrutinizing school lunchrooms. “I would do a classroom management conference and so many questions would come up about improving the cafeteria. Obviously, there was a need to make lunchtime work better,” she said. Since developing a training curriculum called “Cafeteria 101: Setting up for Success,” Burns has fully made over three school lunchrooms and consulted on several others. As far as she knows, this petite forty-year-old is the only person in Minnesota who specializes in this area.

    “Truly, I’m passionate about cafeterias,” said Burns, even as she admits how goofy that sounds. Her zeal stems from the idea that a relatively calm, well-run lunch period has benefits that reach beyond the cafeteria. “It affects the atmosphere of an entire school,” she pointed out. “Teachers can pick up kids and dive right into learning without wasting time recovering from a madhouse feeding frenzy.”

    How does Burns keep a busy cafeteria from devolving into a scene worthy of Animal House? She takes her cues from the biggest people-moving industry on earth. “A successful lunch program is like a well-run airport,” she said. “It has clear momentum and destinations, which are provided by signage, traffic flow, and zones.” She uses the typical flight experience as an example. “A plane is a place where you expect people—the flight attendant, maybe even the pilot—to be standing in a certain place wearing a uniform. Now the cafeteria staff and student helpers wear colorful aprons with handy pockets. They know exactly where to stand within their zones and children will always know where to find them.”

    Another strategy involves colored tape. “We literally marked out the line on the floor to help children and adults know where to queue up. It’s an enormous stress reducer when there are clear guideposts to the next transition,” said Burns. “Transitions, even small ones, are difficult for young children.”

    To adults, these “transitions” are merely a list of things one does in a cafeteria—get in line, pay for your food, grab some napkins, find a table, and so on. But to young children they can be sizable hurdles, especially when you factor in the stresses from hunger (the last lunch period at Whittier is at 1:40 p.m.) and the decibel levels in a typical elementary school lunchroom. According to Burns, the trickiest of these transitions involves condiments. Just try watching a hungry third-grader as she struggles to open a mustard packet—tears might not be common but frustration will be plentiful. Or worse: “Picture the kindergarten student who navigates the line and gets her hamburger,” Burns said. “But she doesn’t realize that it doesn’t have ketchup until she sits down. Now how do your procedures accommodate her?”

    To avoid students swimming upstream against the prevailing cafeteria current like ketchup-seeking salmon, Burns emphasizes prevention—a kind of “leave no condiment behind” approach. “The system that the lunch staff liked best involved foam-board signs,” said Burns. Emphasizing that the staff, who are there every day, have the last word, she made vertical signs that each pictured one of the day’s meals at the top, along with examples of recommended condiments. “I literally Velcroed ketchup and relish packets to the signs as a visual cue,” she says. And when that plan fails? “That’s when the colored aprons with their fabulous pockets come in.” All lunch room staff and helpers carry condiments with them.

    Establishing procedures is just one part of Burns’s job; she also trains lunchroom monitors on addressing throngs of young diners and managing the various tables: a peanut-free table for those with nut allergies and a “loss of privilege” table where students are consigned for poor behavior. And finally there is a “food sharing” table for unwanted items; if a kid wants something from this table, a helper brings it to her. It sounds odd, but this set-up was established to prevent bullying. “Food cannot travel from child to child because it can lead to intimidation,” explains Burns. “We don’t want ‘gimme your cookie or else’ to ever be confused with sharing; this is just another safeguard we’ve put in to make lunch better.”

  • One Step Forward, Two Smokes Back

    One of the upsides of not being a serious athlete is that you can feel a little less guilty about smoking and drinking with impunity. But you can always count on certain subcultural elements to contradict even that plain truth. Bike couriers, for example. They seem to take special pleasure in doing everything, well, extreme. While a credible courier would never use that word (uncool), there is no other that adequately describes the lifestyle. A fifty-mile ride on a single-speed bike without brakes; a twelve of Pabst; a pack of American Spirits. These are core competencies.

    “I don’t want to work in a box breathing recycled air. And I don’t want to drive in a box to get to that box,” said Christian Klempp the other day. He was summing up why he’s been sweating it as a Minneapolis bicycle courier and “alley cat” bike racer for the past eight years. When Klempp isn’t spinning across town with legal or architectural documents for the messenger company he co-owns, he is planning Minneapolis’s biggest alley-cat event, the Stupor Bowl.

    These races are the unofficial sport of messengers everywhere: part athletic feat, part scavenger hunt, and—for those seeking the overall Stupor Bowl title—part drinking game. The eighth annual bowl is slated for the wintry Saturday of the big football game, February 5, and the hometown team always hopes for the worst possible weather. “Couriers come from all over, and we want them to see the conditions we have to work in,” said Klempp.

    A large number of these courier-contestants, along with being game for your surreptitious Sno-Ball and malt liquor ingesting competition, are also smokers. Fred Eisenberey, an eighteen-year courier veteran and smoker, said “probably forty percent” of his colleagues are puffers. “It’s significantly higher than the general population.” Any random day outside Nicollet Mall’s Dunn Brothers coffee shop gives visual confirmation that these everyday athletes light up in high numbers.

    In fact, the numbers were high enough to entice Canadian cigarette maker Dunhill to sponsor the Vancouver alley cat known as the Human Powered Rollercoaster in the mid-nineties. “The registration packet even included a pack of Dunhill cigarettes,” said Klempp, reminiscing about the days when tobacco manufacturers could still sponsor sporting events without shame.
    Though Eisenberey concedes that smoking is part of the rebel image of the bike-messenger industry, he wishes he’d never started. He has been rolling his own for the past quarter-decade in an effort to avoid toxic glues and additives. Still, he bristles at any suggestion that he kick the habit. “Minnesota is such a ‘mommy state,’ where absolutely nothing is allowed. I mean, it took someone like Jesse Ventura to finally let us play with sparklers. Everyone here knows what is better for me, but I don’t think smoking has slowed me down much.”

    It would seem that Eisenberey hasn’t been taking it slow at all. In addition to bicycling all day and in all weather, he is an active underwater hockey player and snorkeler. “I have an above-average lung capacity and always have. I’m known for spending a lot of time on the bottom of the pool. I really don’t think smoking has been as harmful to me as overeating or drinking too much.”
    Smoking is not a pastime shared by many other athletes. Jay, a half-pack-a-day smoker who wished to be identified only by his first name, holds an impressive 3:14 time in the Twin Cities Marathon and doesn’t see other long-distance runners smoking at events. “It is not really the venue or location to smoke. The two activities do not go hand in hand, for obvious reasons.” Still, he occasionally lights up while waiting in line to get his race bib, just for the sadistic pleasure of seeing fellow racers clear a wide and outraged berth. “It’s obvious” that his times would be better if he never smoked, he says. But what isn’t so clear is the effect of all that healthy cardiovascular exercise on a serious smoker. Is it possible that all that vigorous exercise could somehow reverse the ill effects of continued smoking? In other words, could one cancel out the other?w

    Dr. Mark Johns, a physician at St. Mary’s in Duluth, said, “I am not aware of any studies that directly address this question; however, it is interesting to note that there is data to support the use of pulmonary rehab in patients with emphysema.” While the research work from the American Thoracic Society does not indicate a survival benefit for smokers who exercise, it does show promise for an improved quality of life. So what does this mean to jocks who do indulge in smokes? Dr. Johns interpreted the data like this: “You’ll die just as soon. But hey, you’ll be happier until that day comes.”—Lucie Amundsen