Author: Sarah Askari

  • Specimen Days

    Boys will be there but your parents will not,” promised the summer camp brochures that came in winter’s mail like seed catalogs. There were pamphlets for marine biology camp in Florida, space camp in Alabama, and some sort of geology road trip called the Central Rocky Mountain Institute. “I hear scientific greatness calling me,” I said to my parents, handing over the stack of glossy pictures and application forms. “It’s for my education,” I insisted.

     

    “Education” was the sort of trigger word that could induce a highly suggestible trance state in my parents. I could have used this knowledge for evil purposes by turning them into middle-class zombie assassins. But instead I got them to write a check for the road trip science camp, and the state of Wisconsin enjoyed another year’s reprieve from the destabilizing effects of political assassination.

    I would be caravanning with two dozen sixteen-year-olds and a handful of counselors, trekking from our home in Wisconsin to the wilds of Montana, exploring geological points of interest along the way. It was intriguing: How could a point be both “of interest” and “geological”?

    The trip would be my third and final science-camp experience. “Serial Science Camper” was not an instinctive niche for me, personally. If Amnesty International had run human-rights youth camps, it might have been a better fit for my particular enthusiasms. Or if my parents had splurged on installing cable television in August, sitting on the couch watching TV might also have been a good fit. As it turned out, my fellow science campers were just like me. Perhaps not quite as cool or self-assured as the teenagers attending camps for pom pon or basketball, they were definitely on more solid social footing than RenFair types who went to band camp. But the true future geniuses of the Midwest didn’t show up, sleeping bags at the ready, when it came time to answer the call to muster. My guess is that they imagined the relentlessness of the peer contact involved and decided to take a pass.

    The counselors at science camps tended to favor detached observation and note-taking over cheerful boosterism, and I found them to be refreshing counterpoints to the capture-the-flag-loving, sunny-day-hooray! counselors I had crossed swords with during my years at YMCA camp. Y-camp counselors were known to blow whistles while forcing a person to swim farther or run faster, but science-camp counselors refrained from unnecessary noise or motion so as not to scare off a possible specimen. At worst, a science-camp counselor could only bore you, and even then you could just relax and stand there while it happened.

    The first of the camps I attended was held at Pigeon Lake Field Station in Wisconsin’s Chequamegon National Forest. It was a lot like college: We could sleep in, skip breakfast, and then drag ourselves at the last minute to a class that had seemed fascinating when we first signed up for it but in which we quickly lost interest. We dwelt in a forest—a place of gentle shadows, low roofs, screen doors, and instant best friends. We tromped over pine needles and ducked under pine boughs when it was time to learn orienteering or venture out to the nearby bog. My favorite class was the mysteriously titled “Avian Aftermath.” After we took our seats, each student was issued a pair of tweezers and an oblong, fuzzy, gray lump called an “owl pellet” to dissect. As we pulled apart the hairy mass, slender white lengths of bone appeared. These we plucked out of the pellet and delicately placed to the side. When this dissection had reduced the pellet to a large pile of fluff, a stack of tiny ribs, spines, and skulls remained: the inedible parts of the owl’s supper. Our instructor then taught us how to identify the mice and moles by their ingested skeletons.

    One night we hiked into a dark part of the woods, two by two, and placed Wintergreen Lifesavers in our mouths before turning toward a partner and extinguishing our flashlights. On the count of three, we all crunched down on the mints, and were impressed to see blue-green sparks flickering in one another’s mouths. The triboluminescence heightened with increased friction. Wanting to put on a good show, we pulled back our lips and gnashed our teeth violently.

    The next fall, I took part in Trees for Tomorrow, a name that will be familiar to the tens of thousands of students who have passed through the Eagle River, Wisconsin, campus. The program was held over a long October weekend, in a harsh, wet woodland where gray skies misted the unfortunate with a ceaseless drizzle. We trudged to local lumber mills and learned the finer points of forestry “resource management.” Recalls alumna Kristy Robb, perfectly capturing the thrill-inducing gestalt of the place, “We didn’t have enough warm clothing to be standing under a tree for what felt like hours, hearing someone drone on about the damned tree.”

    By the following summer, a combination of hormones and pop culture had dulled my ability to focus during lectures. Luckily, the Central Rocky Mountain Institute was heavy on hiking and exploration. After parents had dropped off their campers in a central Wisconsin parking lot, the counselors confiscated all the Walkmen and informed us that both napping and listening to the radio were verboten during the all-day van rides. “I gave up smoking for this?” I thought. But with nothing else to do, we entertained one another with jokes and stories until we were as close as cousins—kissing cousins, in some cases. We slept in cramped and malodorous tents, cooked our food in a makeshift mess hall, and endured limited access to running water. We always carried canteens, knives, rope, and bandannas. In Montana, we marched up the mountain every morning and tripped down the mountain every night, ankle deep in wildflowers and singing like von Trapps.

    And the geological points of interest were a wondrous backdrop for our bonhomie. No glacier-wrought handiwork went unappreciated. Every volcanic nip and tuck was celebrated. We explored kettle moraines, camped in the Badlands, and wandered through Yellowstone’s geothermal funhouse. A few times we went digging for fossils, and we were allowed to keep our findings, which was a rare treat. Our instructors’ reverence for conservation occasionally conflicted with our natural teenage urge to vandalize. When some of us girls picked flowers to adorn our greasy, unwashed hair, we were tensely reprimanded, “Collection of botanical specimens is not allowed in national parks.” When we were returned to our parents, sunburnt and ravenous, we had a new appreciation for … well, for being away from our parents, I suppose.

    But like the mammoths whose bones we marveled at, the age of the co-ed science camp was coming to a close. I attribute it in large part to Time’s 1982 Man of the Year: the computer. As I grew out of summer-camp age and into adulthood, the concept of “science” became tethered to computers, and computers were tethered to the electric grid. Computer-camp programs sprung up in the vacant lab spaces that universities could spare during the summer, and their success confirmed that students would accept a science camp divorced from actual camping. As the trend grew, math, engineering, and robotics camps blossomed, but ecology field camps withered. At the same time, the academic community recognized that boys were pulling ahead of girls in science achievement, so single-sex day camps were created to free girls from the distraction and self-consciousness of the co-ed classroom. Had I been born twenty years later, I would still have gone to science camp—but I would have left both my pocket knife and my lip gloss at home. It wouldn’t have been an adventure, and it wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun.

    Of the camps I attended, only Trees for Tomorrow, which gets support from “the forest products and electric utility industries” is still active (and, judging from the raingear-clad participants on its website, the fieldwork environment hasn’t changed much in the last fifteen years). The sylvan paradise of the Pigeon Lake Field Station is now available, on a rental basis, for conferences. The Central Rocky Mountain Institute, never much more than some dedicated teachers, a map, and a couple vans, is just a memory. No scientist myself, all I have retained from those summers is a partial mole skeleton and a knack for juvenile puns using the term “kettle hole.”

  • Intro to Cubism

    The other day, the McNally Smith College of Music held a press conference to note the creation of a special scholarship in the name of producer, actor, and rapper Ice Cube. The school is housed in St. Paul’s old Science Museum building, and the feeling one has in its familiar corridors and public spaces is, Shouldn’t there be a river ecology diorama in that corner? Since Mr. Cube himself would be attending the event, the school’s intimate auditorium was filled with a range of young people, from those merely interested in seeing a celebrity to long-standing N.W.A. fans in a state of high excitement. The students were just finishing final exams, and the commencement ceremony for the graduating class of 2006 was only hours away. Teenagers from a local hip-hop academy slid into the last untaken seats, bringing a hyper, field-trip energy with them. In the sonorous voice of a movie-trailer narrator, school cofounder Jack McNally formally announced the new Ice Cube Scholarship and welcomed the guest of honor onto the stage. (The rock band Queen, and bassist Mike Watt from the Minutemen have also been recognized with McNally scholarships.)

    The man of the hour wore a gold necklace with a pendant that spelled out “Ice Cube” in diamonds, but otherwise his outfit—black shirt, blue jeans, dark brown leather parka, light brown leather sneakers—was so subdued that only the crisp, impeccable brand-newness of every item hinted “self-made multi-millionaire.” He expressed how honored he was by the school’s recognition, and admired the advantage McNally Smith gave aspiring music producers: Musing that some of his contemporaries—Dr. Dre, for example—“can’t play instruments,” and have to hire musicians, he pointed out that a McNally Smith education gave the next generation of hip-hop producers the chance to be more like multi-skilled performer/ producer “Lil Jon, who’s keeping all that money.” Then he answered questions from the crowd, offering back-in-the-day anecdotes and dispensing advice with goodwill and authority. “Don’t keep equipment at your house,” he cautioned a music production student, explaining that while “musicians are cool … they ain’t cool in your den.” When asked about his dream collaborator, he answered, “Prince, no doubt!” and the home team responded with victorious applause. It was time for souvenir photos and informal meetings.

    An entourage of hungry entrepreneurs moved toward the stage, wearing matching T-shirts with “Page Music” in gigantic lettering. Richard Schultz, a recording engineering student affiliated with the group, later confirmed that they had made the most of this opportunity: “We gave him the demo.”

    Bass performance student Lee Carter had crafted himself a special T-shirt for the occasion. The words “Ice Cube” were written a few inches above a crude line drawing of what was apparently an ice cube. Underneath, Carter, who passed one of his homemade tees on to Ice Cube, had scrawled the question, “Why you gotta be so cold?” Did interest in N.W.A. motivate Carter to go to such great lengths? “More of just a seeing-famous-people interest,” admitted Carter. In that case, had he gone to the Prairie Home Companion parade the previous day, to see starlet Lindsay Lohan? “No, but she came to see me—that was later, though. At my apartment.”

    As Ice Cube left the school, the teenagers swarmed around him. Donley McIntosh, one of the hip-hop academy kids, had brought a VHS tape of Ice Cube’s movie Friday, which Cube graciously autographed. McIntosh’s classmate Adrienne Duncan, zipping through the crowd, also got a last-minute autograph. Overwhelmed with the intensity of the moment, she used the autograph to fan herself furiously, and the superstar rode away in a black SUV.

  • Rake Appeal { Fashion

    Native Minnesotan women spend the majority of each year with their bodies covered from head to ankle out of environmental necessity. Somali women residing in Minnesota have a similar head-to-ankle requirement, although the practice of wearing a modesty-preserving veil, or hijab, has its roots in tradition rather than meteorology. Pitted one against the other: Which bundled-up look has more flair? The Somalis have the competitive advantage in this instance, because nothing done in Thinsulate or fleece pulls an outfit together quite like a long, elegant veil.

    The magic of the veil is in the line it creates. The eye is drawn to the face, initially, and then follows the graceful curve of the fabric downward like the cascading hair of a Texas cheerleader in a shampoo commercial. Veils aren’t supposed to be flirty, right? Hair is flirty—that’s why it needs to be covered. Yet veils made from lightweight fabric move with the neck, just like long tresses do. Maybe it’s just a sneaky way of getting the same effect as synthetic hair extensions.

    The flow of the veil continues unabated over the shoulders until it reaches the hem. This is where, from a purely aesthetic standpoint, Somali women stay in the game whereas many other Muslim women drop the ball. To keep the line rolling the full length of the body, the veil must complement the cloth of the garments beneath it. If the hijab has a floral pattern on a white background, but the rest of the outfit is a navy blue, the eye will jump where the fabrics clash and that sense of grace will be lost. The fabrics don’t have to be of the same material, and they don’t necessarily have to be the same color, but they must not quarrel. The Somali women I encounter, and envy, while wandering through malls or grocery stores seem particularly adept at maintaining the sweep of the line, and it is not uncommon to see a young sartorial stunt-pilot pull off tricks like pairing lilac chiffon with indigo denim. At one of the local Somali malls, I pestered a pair of chic women in their twenties. A regal beauty with incredible bone structure had arranged her black hijab over olive-green clothes with such attention to shape that her outfit seemed no less tailored than a Chanel suit. Her companion wore a periwinkle velvet blazer that was perfectly accented by an ivory headscarf patterned with pale blue and fawn stripes. How do they manage it? Apparently, sheer quantity helps. “I couldn’t even guess how many scarves I own. Every imaginable color,” said Sophia Ali.

    Contrast this elegant and simple vision with the choppy chaos of recent fashions. For instance, I spent the past winter parading about in gaucho pants. This is intellectually confusing not only because I have neither cattle nor pampas on which to herd them, but also because the pants that actual gauchos wear are called bombachas. It’s aesthetically confusing because gaucho pants end well before reaching the ankle, destroying the natural flow of the leg line. This summer, 1980s-style leggings will perform a similar amputation on calves near you! Short-sleeved shirts will be cutting arms into twos, belts will be carving figures into fatty halves, yet Somali women will remain serene, their faces framed fetchingly atop hidden curves. Though their motivation may be modesty, sometimes it seems they’re just plain showing off. —Sarah Askari

  • Dude, Don't Say "Bong"

    A hand-lettered, unprofessionally illustrated sign appeared in midsummer outside the university area’s Santana grocery. It said, “We Rent Hookahs.” Now, there are actually two small bodegas that bear the proud Santana name, and they are located within blocks of each other, where Interstate 35W crosses University Avenue and Fourth Street Southeast. But only one Santana has branched off in the unpredictable direction of offering hookah services. Is the Fourth Street Santana the vanguard of Twin Cities leisure? Or is convenience store/hookah rental one of those nonsensical, doomed pairings, like tanning beds/video rental? Luckily, these questions can be answered by anyone with fifteen bucks, an ID, and unobstructed airways. One recent evening, I gathered a few friends and went to investigate.

    The process of renting the water pipe is straightforward; predictably, in exchange for the hookah, my driver’s license is held hostage. Unpredictably, an employee of the grocery is posted outside to monitor the situation. Although this employee is not issued a hookah, he may smoke cigarettes at his leisure. The hookah itself is suspiciously ornate, decorated with a riotous combination of embroidered fabric, hammered brass, and painted, colored glass. It’s flashy, with no sense of Scandinavian reserve, an artifact straight out of Alice in Wonderland.

    An intimidating moment arises when it is time to choose the moist, moss-like flavored tobacco used for pipe smoking. The options are orange, strawberry, cherry, Jamaican rum, margarita, grape, menthol, and pineapple. Bonnie Bell lip gloss is available in these same flavors, so my mind darts back to junior high. I hazard a guess. “Cherry?” But the correct answer turns out to be pineapple.

    The modest smoking area outside Santana is not what it could be. But why cheapen this relaxing ritual with gimmicks, tricking out a space with tufted pillows or draping fabric, crafting a simulacrum of some imagined Middle Eastern oasis, or maybe the inside of I Dream of Jeannie’s bottle? Honest people, puffing on a hookah with a panoramic view of I-35W, have no need for it. A set of gray plastic lawn furniture will suffice.

    An attractive, lanky young Santana employee named Chris takes care of packing the tobacco into the water pipe’s bowl, carefully covering the bowl with aluminum foil and then pricking the foil with a dozen little holes, through which the heat will flow on its way down to the glass chamber.

    When the tobacco is smoldering like charcoal, the hookah is ready to smoke. Disposable plastic mouthpieces are provided for the squeamish. Our young guide makes a valiant effort to explain the technique without comparing it to smoking a bong, which is tactful of him. As you draw on the mouthpiece, you pull the smoke down through the chambers, into the filtering water, and bring it up the hose and on into your lungs. Withdraw your lips from the pipe and exhale, comfortably—for the sensation is far more gentle than that of a cigarette. The smoke is lighter, and it leaves a very faint, fruity taste on your palate.

    We sit, and puff, and get used to the novelty of the pipe. The fifteen dollars includes enough tobacco to last well over an hour, and there is nothing else to do but sit and watch this corner of the world go by. The air is cool, and people are enjoying the respite from summer’s oppression. The Santana night cashier, a Brazilian woman dressed like a tropical bird of paradise, visits leisurely. “Most of the hookah smokers who come in here, I think there are more women than men. It’s surprising, right?” Store patrons, bicyclists, cabdrivers—everyone looks inquisitively at the sight of the rococo hookah bubbling away on the sidewalk. As the 6C bus pulls up and a steady stream of cars come in off the highway, two women passing by on a late-night errand curiously request a trial drag. One of them gives the hookah a level gaze and offers a candid assessment: “I’d be putting a bud in that, for sure.”—Sarah Askari