Tag: mini cooper

  • Chicks Live on Farms

    It occured to me this morning that I must update my post "Bimbos,
    Himbos and Harleys" with new content and here is why:

    While
    it is true that the DelSol, the VW rabbit convertible and the Corvette
    are charter members of the Bimbo & Himbo Hall of Fame, not many of
    you drive these things.

    Unlike the Mini-Cooper.

    Which raises the question: is this a car for bimbos and/or himbos? My answer is emphatically, unfortunately, yes. But only for the second-gen "new mini" model, not the first.

    BMW has detuned the second generation Cooper to fit a
    demographic that is overwhelmignly female. These German Dunderheads
    equate this with the "more forgiving" characteristics of a "chick car."

    I for one, have always believed that chicks live on farms and
    not the front seat of a Mini Cooper. That is why the women I know have
    shunned the second generation model.

    Come to think of it, the
    only person I know who has purchased one is my Dad’s loudmouth,
    Crocs-wearing and frequently swearing neighbor who seems to be going
    through some kind of mid-life crisis.

    In other words, a himbo.

    Of the very highest order.

  • Legal Lolitas

    I have always wondered why certain cars remain off limits to men of a particular age.

    What makes a Red Corvette more age-appropriate than a Mini Cooper? (Forgetting the conventional wisdom that posits the Corvette as "gold chain"—a sentiment unmasked as a simple prejudice with the Z06, a true American Beauty in red.)

    Or, for that matter a Mazdaspeed 3? Or the brand-new Mercedes SLK?

    While I am barely beyond a sophomoric mindset (seething, Kersten-kudoing hatred of video games notwithstanding including filthy games like Donkey Kong) I can appreciate certain rides for what they are. That is why I am currently fixated on a turbo VW bug in black.

    This car has a lot of issues.

    It is not the fastest 180 HP turbo on the market, its handling is a little spongy and it will choke and die on the dust of a Mazdaspeed 3.

    It does pack one little asset however–the simple to chip 1.8 liter turbo. I have seen this chipped to a cool 250+HP without extensive modifications to the drivetrain or suspension. You can also take full advantage of the superb after-market upgrades that exist for VW/Audi and even Porsche vehicles.

    Not that you, given your age and gender, would take advantage of a situation like this. Not with your misplaced longing for a Jag (not.) Not with this black bug possessing an equally black rag top (yes, its a convertible.)

    What would this do to your rug?