The Rake Magazine

Year: 2008

  • Punk Puppets in New Zealand

    HOST A SUMMER SHOW
    Turn Your Backyard into a Theatre for a Night!

    Open Eye Figure Theatre is now booking their 2008 Driveway Tour (June 7 – August 10), and they’re looking for 50 hosts who can offer their yards and gather their neighbors for a half-hour family-friendly puppet show. It’s simple; all you have to do is provide the space and the people — and perhaps some lemonade or cookies, but that’s up to you. The show is free, but you’ll be asked to "pass the hat" for donations after the show. Sound like fun? Send an email to openeye@bitstream.net with "DrivewayTour" in the subject line. The program is available for booking Monday through Thursday evenings, and Saturdays. Some Sundays may be considered. Check you calendar now! 

    MUSIC
    The Unseen

    While they’ve recently been accused of selling out — after airing their videos on mainstream channels (like MTV2) frowned upon by the underground streetpunk scene — The Unseen remain true to their hardcore roots, at least in their music. Hailing from Hingham, Massachusetts, the street punk band features lead vocals by Mark Unseen (ADD Records and A Global Threat), bass by Tripp Underwood, lead guitar by Scott Unseen, drums by Pat Melzard, and rhythm guitar by Jonny (A Global Threat). They’ll be playing the early show tonight with A Wilhelm Scream, In Defence, and Class of 86.

    5 p.m., Triple Rock Social Club, 629 Cedar Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-333-7399.

    BOOKS & HIKING
    Peter Potterfield’s Favorite Hikes of New Zealand

    Hiking expert and Classic Hikes of the World author Peter Potterfield wraps up an eight-week speaking and slideshow tour this week with a trip to the Twin Cities. Hikers and outdoor enthusiasts alike, will be able to meet Potterfield at local REI stores, to learn firsthand about hiking in New Zealand through his compelling narrative, striking slideshow, and Q&A session. Plus, you’ll be eligible to win prizes from ExOfficio and Eagle Creek – even an all-expenses-paid round trip to New Zealand!

    7 p.m., Bloomington REI, 750 W. American Blvd., Bloomington; 952-884-4315.

  • The Three Pointer: The Last, Best Weekend

    AP Photo by Nikki Boertman

    Game #79, Road Game #39: Minnesota 102, Orlando 101

    Game #80, Road Game #40, Minnesota 114, Memphis 105

    Season Record: 21-59

    1. Wanting It More

    It does not significantly diminish the two wins posted this weekend by the Timberwolves by pointing out that neither Orlando nor Memphis bothered to be particularly resilient or really dedicate themselves to "the old college try." The Magic have a #3 seed in the east sewn up and didn’t seem especially distraught about allowing the Wolves to overcome a 9-point deficit in the final 4:23 of the game. The Grizzlies rested outside sniper Mike Miller (bad back) and benched their top two centers, Darko Milicic and Jason Collins (each DNP-CD) to get a longer look at the small (6-9) youngster Andre Brown in the pivot. Such are the vagaries of late-season hoops. Consider that the previous two years, the Wolves themselves bent over backwards to move the clicker upwards in the loss column.

    By contrast, the Wolves weathered a blistering 3-point shooting performance by Orlando in the first half and overcame the Magic with a balanced scoring (abetted by riding their most highly-touted quintet of the future at crunchtime) and more diligent defense; then blew Memphis out with a franchise-record 43-point first quarter and their most dominating performance of the season on the boards. What these things have in common–the resilience, the ball movement, the rebounds, the defense–is an abiding desire to win. It has been awhile since this team was demonstrably hungier than its opponent for two successive games.

    Let’s focus in on the pivotal movements of both games. After playing cat-and-mouse with the Wolves with a lead that fluctuated from 4 to 14 since the first 90 seconds of the game, Orlando and Minnesota each made key substitutions with 8:18 to go and the Magic up 5, 91-86. For Minnesota, it was Al Jefferson in for Chris Richard, giving the Wolves a lineup that includes their last three first-round picks–McCants, Foye, Brewer–and arguably their top two players this season, Jefferson and Gomes. Somewhat remarkably, despite the frequency with which the Wolves play smallball, this particular quintet does not even rank among the top 20 most-frequent five-man units this season for Minnesota (according to 82games.com), which means it hadn’t even mustered 36 minutes up this point.

    Well, for the final 8:18 they stayed intact, and the result was a 16-10 margin, including 12-2 over that last 4:23. A primary reason for this disparity was Stan Van Gundy’s decision to sub in Jameer Nelson for Carlos Arroyo instead of Keyon Dooling, giving the Foye-McCants backcourt a substantial physical mismatch versus Nelson (6-1, 190) and Dooling (6-3, 195)–especially when you consider that the Magic flank the beastly Dwight Howard with a pair of 6-10 swingmen (Rashard Lewis and Hedo Turkoglu) and throw the 6-5, 220 Maurice Evans in the backcourt as starters.

    Consequently, the Wolves were able to rally despite zero field goals from Jefferson, who went 0-4 from the floor while the rest of his teammates registered 10-18, including 4-4 from beyond the arc, two apiece by Foye and McCants, who played together over the last 17 minutes. For that matter, Foye played the entire second half, and all but 34 seconds of the entire last three periods, leading the team in points (25, on 10-21 FG) and assists (6). With Jefferson otherwise engaged with the giant speciment named Howard, Foye went off for a dozen 4th quarter points, McCants added 8–but more significantly, hit a vital crunchtime trey to bring the Wolves to within a point with 1:17 left to play. This was right after the Wolves looked doomed by a sequence where Ryan Gomes clanked a wide open jumper and Turkoglu drove the left lane for a layup. It was also the last field goal of the game. The Wolves’ defense clamped down, the Magic, worried about Howard getting fouled and missing free throws, chose to have Dooling and Turkoglu miss out side jumpers, and the game came down to a scrum where the Wolves battled for an offensive rebound that eventually fell to Gomes. Howard fouled him with 2 seconds on the clock. Whatever Gomes’s difficulties with jumpers with the game on the line, he’s money from the free throw stripe–swish, and swish. Ballgame, Minnesota.

    Still riding the high of their first road victory of the season against an Eastern Conference team, the Wolves ensured that there would be no drama in the game against the Grizz. They purely and simply blew out Memphis in the first period, led by Kirk Snyder, whose four turnovers and minus -14 in less than 25 minutes of play against Orlando stood in stark contrast to Corey Brewer’s fine outing. Against Memphis, he went hard to the hole, scoring nine points on a putback layup, dunk, and a driving layup, plus three FTs. Meanwhile, the Wolves doubled up the Grizzlies (who made the smallball Minnesota squad look rather large with their pipsqueak lineup) on the boards, 20-10. That set the tone, which had the Wolves racking up a monstrous 21 *offensive* rebounds in the first three periods alone, finishing with 62 boards overall. Four players–Jefferson, Gomes, Snyder and Brewer, had double-digit rebounding totals. McCants was again a deadeye from outside. The final 9-point margin really wasn’t that close.

    2. The Return of Corey Brewer

    How long has it been since you were excited about Brewer’s NBA future–a month? Six weeks? I daresay the same might be said of Brewer’s own outlook. But, as will probably always be the case with Brewer, he rekindled his nearly snuffed confidence with defense on Friday, particularly in the final 6:58 of the second period. It started with a steal of Arroyo and floor length drive culminating in two free throws. Then he went high flying sidewise to block Arroyo’s open court layup attempt a few minutes later, stuck a jumper after that, and filched the ball from Howard and generated another layup in the final minute of the period. Bottom line, in the second quarter alone, Brewer had 8 points, 4 boards (two offensive), two steals and a block. No doubt it helped that he and his former Gator college teammate Richard both had dozens of friends in the stands down in Florida. In any event, shaking off all those weeks of bad ju ju, he carried over the old Brewer hustle into the Grizzlies game and racked up 11 rebounds to give him 20 in less than 52 minutes of play his last two contests, along with four steals. Yes, he can get overamped–he fouled out against Memphis and had moments versus Orlando where he was ball-dogging a player who wasn’t his man–but when that enthusiasm is productive, he can flash back to the steals and blocks and boards rather than those hideous misses that have marred his play before then.

    3. Quick Hits

    Chris Richard also had dug his niche a little deeper as the backup center with a pair of nice games over the weekend. While it remains possible that Richard will become this year’s Bracey Wright–a kid with a flash of promise honing everything he can out of his game who just doesn’t have NBA ability in the long run–his attitude and work ethic have been a joy to behold this entire season.

    Another second-rounder who constantly works hard at refining aspects of his play–Craig Smith–has not been missed at all the past two games, which could help make some signing decisions a little easier in the off-season.

    During the trey for the Milwaukee finale, I’ll announce a couple of playoff games or series in advance that I’ll be covering along with delivering my choices for various awards, and guessing the winners of the first round matchups. If we can keep this beautiful conversation going into the postseason, I’m game.

  • Hillaright and Hillawrong.

    I am not exactly sure what I am trying to say with my headline. While I won’t pick nits with her politics, I fear that if she, my fellow sister, were to gain the white house (I may be the only that holds a candle–for my own reasons) she will raise the CAFE standards even further than 35MPG.

    The Saint in me says she is right.

    The Devil says, "death to her and all her pets."

    Why must she remain so polarizing?

  • Spring Break

    Ah. . . .spring break.

    I don’t know what the words conjure up for you. For me, a college professor and parent, spring break means two things: a week of stupid, drunken antics that tend to leave my students hungover, pregnant, and/or diseased, and a week of sleeping in, being bored, and watching too much TV that tends to make my children ready to go back to school.

    Either way, not my favorite time of year. Until last week.

    It was spring break in St. Louis Park. My two younger children were home, the 17-year-old newly jobless, the 13-year-old reading Ayn Rand. And somewhere along the line each of them decided to ask every single person they knew to come over and hang out.

    Now, you might not think a parent would like that. But I was just back in town after a long trip and irrationally happy to see my own kids. I was in a rare mellow frame of mind. And the simple fact is, the teenagers who were teeming into my house like droves of ants were just downright cool.

    There were boys ranging from 16-21, sprawled across couches and tables and chairs. They were drinking from enormous cans of Rock Star and Red Bull and Snapple, hauling in bags of chips and burritos the size of my head. And what were they doing: getting high, staging destructive wrestling matches, setting fire to things? No. They were engaged in a week-long Risk tournament that provoked discussions about world history and famous despots, as well as shouts of "You asshole!" that reverberated through the house at two in the morning, but I didn’t mind.

    There was also a younger tier — mostly girls, with a few shy, awkward boys hanging around the edges — from the ages of 12 to 14. They mostly ate pizza and sat on the front steps during those few days in March when it didn’t snow, texting each other even though they easily could have talked. After the boys were gone, the girls had sleepovers during which they held long Disney marathons, watching the videos we’ve owned since my daughter was born. The Little Mermaid. The Lion King.

    And I don’t know that I’ve ever had such a satisying week in my entire life.

    It was noisy and cluttered and SMELLY (at one point there were 14 pairs of boys’ shoes in my front hall). My husband and I slept almost not at all. But we knew exactly where our children were — and where every other St. Louis Park parent’s were, for that matter — and there’s no feeling in the world as good as that. Add to this the fact that we were buying pizzas and burritos at such a mad rate, we could afford nothing else and were drinking what we’ve come to call our "house" wine, a dirt cheap Nero d’Avola by Archeo that retails for about $4.99. And even THIS didn’t bother me. In fact, I rather liked it.

    Nero d’Avola is a Sicilian grape that makes a light, juicy, incredibly quaffable wine. And it seems that no matter how low you go on the price scale, it’s pretty standard and inoffensive. Rather like a happy puppy, the cherry and oak flavor is generally cheerful and easy to like.

    Next year, when my son is in college and only my daughter is home, spring break will almost surely have a whole different tone. I will miss the boys terribly — foot odor notwithstanding — and am grateful that at least I was here to enjoy this year’s Risk-and-pizza free-for-all.

    If you’re in a mood to read more about children and the joys thereof, check out the new Rake sister site: www.gomom.com. It’s a great resource. There’s only one downside: I’m afraid it’s a little short on wine drinking advice.

  • Standard Operating Procedure

    How much of a story can be told by looking at a photograph? What is considered fact and proof? Is seeing truly believing? The documentary film Standard Operating Procedure breaks apart these questions by delving into the lives of soldiers stationed at Abu Ghraib prison, in Iraq. Academy Award winning director Errol Morris used photographs and stories of American soldiers to depict the stained and corrupt system within the interrogation centers in the Middle East. We all remember the horrific photos that leaked into the media, and as you may anticipate from the brief synopsis, the documentary is far from a romantic comedy. Ironically, the film opens with a photograph of a golden sunset in Iraq, which stands in stark contrast to the rest of the film’s morbid and disturbing tone. Within the first ten minutes my weak stomach got the best of me, and I had no choice but to direct my eyes to the dim lights positioned on the walls of the theater.

    Photographs taken by the American soldiers exemplify the unnecessary “standard operating procedures” that include humiliation, forced stress positions (like the photograph of a man forced to stand on a bucket of water with wires attached to his hands), and sexual harassment. While there are re-enactments by actors to underscore the importance of the stories being told by the soldiers, the reality of the documentary is mind-numbing. I was surprised to find most of the American soldiers interviewed in the documentary failed to show much emotion when they described their time at Abu Ghraib. It was as if the lives they lived in Iraq never existed. They illustrated their melancholic experiences with as much grandeur as a trip to the grocery store. In fact, out of the 12 soldiers interviewed, only one seemed to show any signs of distress.

    As the film continued, constant exposure to the pictures and stories caused me to feel the same numbness the soldiers exuded, stripping me of any emotion I may have come in with. Not only did I become deadened by the images, but I actually started to understand where these soldiers’ “survival tactics” came from as a technique to cope with what they were going through. Disturbing images of the humiliating stress positions of the Iraqi prisoners were coupled with the smiling faces and thumbs-up of American soldiers as if they were posing for a picture with Chuck E. Cheese. Many of the soldiers defended this by claiming it was their way of “doing what they were told,” so they could continue to photograph.

    While the gruesome and grotesque picture may seem a turn-off, however, the film is certainly worth seeing. It creates an understanding of the power of stories through film, especially where conclusions and assumptions can very quickly be made without knowing the truth. Although it may feel uncomfortable and gut wrenching at times, this documentary is an important exposé on the war. The 118-minute film leaves you with some unanswered questions, but like the photographs, the documentary is up for some interpretation from the audience.

    Errol Morris will visit the Twin Cities on April 15th for a premiere screening and conversation at the Walker Art Center. Exclusive Twin Cities engagement opens Friday, May 23rd at Landmark’s Lagoon Cinema.

  • Kathie Lee's Return to the Vultures

    AP photo by Richard Drew

    I have been waiting to blog because my topics have changed several times over the last few weeks.

    After settling into what is now my new place of business (Jacobs’ Trading Company), it dawned on me that before I blog about the self-serving topic of working at the same place as my spouse, I should cover Kathie Lee pulling a fast one and returning to morning TV.

    And of course, I had to watch the first couple of days as an objective TV viewer before giving my two cents.

    Now, let me preface my blog with this: Over the years, I have spent time with Kathie Lee, her husband Frank (who always smells good), and her well-mannered, now grown-up children Cody and Cassidy.

    There, I divulged that I may be biased and non-objective in this blog post. Clearly, you know at this point that I am NOT TRYING to pretend that my training in journalism with a personal coach worked, nor did the boring writing classes, so let’s all just move on with it, shall we?

    Like the rest of the world,
    I watched Kathie Lee come out on her first day with her head held high, looking healthy, beautiful, and more content than I have ever seen in all my years of knowing her.

    In Kathie’s own words, she has gained 10 pounds since her last go-around on TV. And since I, too, have enjoyed my way through 10 extra pounds in the last few years, I think it’s safe for me to say that stress=thin=looking old, and stress free=curves=looking younger.

    If I didn’t know Kathie’s real age I would say she looks younger than her co-host, Hoda, and it’s not due to plastic surgery and fake hair. In fact, I would venture to say that it’s probably a case of good meals and conversation on the home front. Yes there is a cryptic message in there, so I better get back on point.

    It came as no surprise to me that Kathie Lee was not only on her game for her national re-emerging but she — as the young ones say — Rocked It!

    What really set me off were the reviews that Kathie got from TV critics. Many of her harshest critics (women) were pleased with her "performance." It was the others (men) that were just plain mean.

    Why? In my opinion it’s because god forbid a woman be 56 years old and be looked at in the same way as, say, a 25-year-old — in a business where your outer shell comes first and what is on in the inside is only secondary.

    Yeah, yeah, I know what some of you are thinking — is this the same woman who used her name to do endorsement deals for laser hair removal and plastic surgery? Guilty as charged, but that girl has left the country and does not plan to return. 🙂

    Which brings me to the disgust I felt when I was about to fall asleep and heard on the TV, in the background, Kathie Lee being associated with "old farts."

    When is the last time that tabloid TV shows (TMZ) have referred to a 56-year-old experienced MALE TV veteran as "an old fart"? I think it’s time the old cocky lawyer/want-to-be TV star got his eyes checked, because he is NO prize to look at it and could use a good teeth whitening!

    So I am going to give you my personal opinion on Kathie Lee Gifford, from someone who has spent time with her over the years and admired her tenacity to hold her head up high when most people would crawl under the sheets and go away, never to return.

    Kathie Lee is a woman that has been through what now up to 70 percent of all married people experience, and that is infidelity. The media acted like preying vultures over fresh raw meat when the Tabloids thought it would be "FUN" to set up the husband of a successful woman and see if he would take the bimbo bait.

    How do these people sleep at night?

    You have a woman, and a mom, whose only fault was to share with the world that marriage and raising children can be done at the same time as having a career and once in a while giving TMI.

    You have a woman that was joyful and happy about the same milestones we all, as parents, feel — but with a much bigger audience and in a much more public way. So what?!

    Are there that many people out there that are so unhappy in their own lives that is makes them feel better to smack down someone who means well, just because she wakes up in the morning and is happy?

    I, for one, would much rather be entertained by someone who has a naughty sense of humor (which Kathie does) than by some miserable old bats that are pissed off at the world because they don’t have something that other people do.

    I will share with you this one story that sticks in my head: I was in Florida with family, having brunch with Kathie and her family. Unlike most moms taking their daughters to the restroom to do their business, Kathie had half the women in the place (without their daughters) following her to the restroom. Instead of drawing the line at giving her a little space with Cassidy, all of these STRANGERS lined up with cameras in tow to take snapshots and inquire about mundane things (which you just don’t do); and instead of doing what most of us would have done, which is to swat people and yell at them to back off, Kathie was gracious and funny, letting these STRANGERS know
    that she was in Mom mode but really did appreciate that they took "THEIR" time to come and share some space with her even if it was in the BATHROOM.

    I called a friend of mine, who is a successful MAN in TV and whose opinion I value, to ask what he thought of Kathie Lee’s return to TV. HIS words sum up not only Kathie Lee’s return but, hopefully, the trend in good and entertaining TV: "Bravo. I think it’s great, and it shows that TV is going back to its roots and using what was successful before, again."

    I can only hope this time around all of the vultures will stay at bay and let this still beautiful and kind-hearted woman be well-liked again, without trying to destroy the myth that women who have a happy home life can have a happy and prosperous work life too.

    Go get ’em, Kathie!!!!!!!!

     

  • No One Is Reading, and Our Libraries Are Closing

    Creative Commons photo by Zachary Korb

    A couple weeks ago, a very quiet takeover of Downtown Minneapolis was staged. Thousands of librarians from around the nation — purse-lipped and padded-soled — convened for their annual convention. (Were it not for the laminated PLA badges that hung on yarn around their necks, they would have looked like any non-Target-employed resident of the city — that is, poorly but warmly dressed, and vaguely literary.)

    During their three-day conference, they would discuss new database software, innovative shelving systems, and learn how to market their respective branches. "It used to be that a library was a library and that was that. People would just show up," said Sylvia Schulman, a librarian from Connecticut. "Now you have to advertise."

    So it goes. The AP announced last August the results of a poll that showed 27% of their respondents hadn’t read a single book in the previous year. A 2004 poll conducted by the National Endowment for the Arts found that 43% of Americans hadn’t read a book in the twelve months prior to the survey. You can read Ursula K Le Guin’s somewhat optimistic analysis of these data here.

    So wouldn’t one expect libraries to be ailing a bit, too? Apparently they’re not. Over dinner at The News Room, Helen Crosson, director of the Cold Spring Harbor Library in Long Island, boasted of one thousand new cardholders in her district over the last year. One of her dining partners, a librarian from Queens, spoke of how they were continually trying to build more libraries; currently they have sixty facilities to accommodate over two million people, which just isn’t enough. "We’re a minority-heavy area," she said, "and libraries act as a real hub for those communities. They’re a place where you can get on the internet for free, and you have unlimited access to pretty much any book you need if you’re trying to learn English." (She sipped from her drink, put it down and said, "Everyone in this restaurant is so white." Which was <sigh> true.)

    When quoted the statistics from the NEA and AP surveys, Ms. Schulman from Connecticut shook her head and said, "I don’t know. You’d be surprised" — and then conceded that she worked in an affluent zone with many residents predisposed to reading.

    I guess the question is, why are the Minneapolis libraries ailing so? Here we have testimonies from employees of both upper-middle-class/suburban and lower-middle-class/inner-city libraries that say their facilities are doing fine, if not thriving. Meanwhile, according to this article published on MPR’s website in 2007, the Minneapolis Public Library had "cut one third of its staff, sharply reduced library hours, and closed three neighborhood branches." (Since then, with the merger of the Minneapolis Public Library and Hennepin County Library, those three branches have re-opened…but still.) Are we just not advertising enough? Are we too white? (Minneapolis as a whole, I would argue, is not quite inner-city in the way of Queens, not quite white-collar in the way of New Haven. I’m reminded of Barack Obama feeling wrongly accused of being not white enough and not black enough. No wonder he got two-thirds of our caucus delegates. This is a long, unnecessary parenthetical.)

    Even with the opening of the new Minneapolis Central Library on Nicollet Mall last year, things are a bit lackluster — I’ve heard more about its architecture than its community benefits. Taking a quick glance at hours of operation is a little disheartening too. At first, it seems normal not to have the Walker or the MCL open on Sundays. But if you think about the foot traffic in Uptown and Downtown on the weekends, it seems Sundays should be one of the higher-traffic days of the week. On two of the five days it’s open, the Walker Library, on the corner of Hennepin and Lagoon, one of the busiest intersections in the city, doesn’t open until noon. To say nothing of Osseo’s library, which is open a grand total of eighteen hours a week.

    If there were a decrease in demand it would be one thing, but according to this Star Tribune report our check-out rates are more than 2.5 times the national average. So either those librarians I talked to were lying through their teeth (and pursed lips, yes, haha, it was funny the first time, too), or really there’s just not enough money to support what has been one of society’s strongest infrastructures since fires, and then campfires, were invented.

    Finally, here is one of the lamest photo tours of the skyway ever to have been compiled.

     

  • Namaste Cafe: A Cut Above

    It sounds like the Namaste Café might have an image problem.
    A couple of days ago, I emailed a friend and invited her to meet me for Happy
    Hour at the Nepalese/Indian restaurant and tea house at 2512 Hennepin Ave. S.

    "I have
    never even noticed Namaste," she replied. "They have wine?? It
    sounds so — vegan?"

    Okay, so
    Namaste does have a good selection of dishes that either are vegan, or can be
    prepared without meat or animal products — like their entrée of cauliflower,
    peas and potatoes ($10), or the Kathmandu curry, with a savory onion and
    tomato-based sauce, which you can order with either tofu ($11) chicken ($12),
    or fish or lamb ($14); or their special bean dishes, like the Raajma, seasoned
    with cumin, ginger, cayenne, paprika, cloves and cardamom ($9).

    But if you think vegan when you think of Namaste, you are missing a lot of what this very fine little cafe has to offer.

    There is
    a depressing sameness to a lot of the local south Asian restaurants. They look
    the same, they have the same menu – think rogan josh and chicken masala and
    dried-out tandoori lamb and shrimp biryani – they have crappy wine and beer
    lists, and the décor is too frumpy for a date or special occasion. (Legend has
    it that the reason the old-style Indian restaurants mostly taste the same is
    because of a very efficient "three-pot" system – everything on their menu is
    concocted from some combination of three basic sauces, plus some spices.)

    Namaste
    is different, and it’s not just the Nepalese dishes, like the momocha dumplings
    and the green soybean soup. It’s one of the few south Asian restaurants in town
    that actually looks stylish enough for a date or a special occasion, and offers
    a decent wine and beer list.

    One big
    difference is, everything tastes a lot fresher than at the usual south
    Asian restaurant. They use local and organic ingredients whenever possible, and most dishes seem to be prepared
    from scratch.

    But another big difference
    is that while the appetizer list at most Indian restaurants leans towards the
    deep-fried – think samosas and vegetable fritters – Namaste’s starters includes
    street-food snacks like paapri chaat, a pile of chick peas, spiced potatoes and
    chutneys topped with chopped raw onion, tomato and cilantro, or chana chatpat,
    a similar snack dish made with garbanzo beans, peanuts and rice crispies.

    There is
    a lot more on the menu that I would like to try, including the coconut curry
    with tofu, eggplant and mushrooms ($12), the squash curry with bison ($14; also
    available with tofu for $11), and the cashew yogurt curry, prepared with
    chicken, fish or tofu.

    The beer
    list includes Summit EPA, Pilsner Urquell, Fat Tire and Finnegan’s on tap ($5),
    and several more in bottles ($4). The wine selection includes about 30
    by the bottle ($16-$70, with most under $30) , and a dozen by the glass
    ($4.50-$8). Most of the labels were unfamiliar, but I can vouch for the Routas
    Wild Boar Cabernet ($7/$21) and the Cristalino Brut Cava ($6/$18), a very
    drinkable Spanish bubbly at a reasonable price.

    During happy hour (Tuesday through Sunday, 3-6 p.m.), all the beers and wines by the glass are
    two-for-one, and the appetizers (regularly $5-$9) are all priced at $5.

    Namaste Cafe Cafe, 2512 Hennepin Ave S, Minneapolis, 612-827-2496.

  • Happy Fun Friday: Hamas Edition

    As snowbirds throughout the southern half of the country
    point and laugh maniacally at the spawn they left behind in this wintry
    hell     known as Minnesota,
    we turn our attention to warmer climes. No, not Eldorado, Texas,
    where, until recently, polygamy was alive and far
    too pug fucking ugly     and insecure to land anything but a harem full of nigh-prepubescent
    brides. Nor France,
    where President Nicolas Sarkozy enjoys the $91,000
    view     every morning on his way to do battle with
    pirates    .

    No, the warmer climes in question are those of the promised
    land. While Iraqi insurgents and terrorist groups are promising upstarts in the
    world of suicide vests and improvised explosives, Hamas – the original
    jihadists – throw 72
    virgin parties like no others    . What’s more, the promise of such a party is quickly
    becoming the gold standard for sex ed in Gaza
    schools, where Hamas has complete control of public services – including the
    education system. While elsewhere in the Palestinian territories, as well as
    other countries in the Muslim world, children get an education grounded in
    science, math, and reading, kids in Gaza
    get the extremist full-court press.

    So this Happy Fun Friday, gentle reader, I bring you the virtual
    experience of a Gaza schoolboy, happily practicing suicide runs and being
    indoctrinated in the nonsensical ways of the martyr whilst Israeli attack
    choppers hover overhead and ground forces "engage targets of opportunity". But
    best of all kids, race home to beat curfew, pour yourself a big bowl of cereal
    and plant yourself on the couch to Tomorrow’s Pioneers – award-winning Hamas
    programming that teaches children the beauty of martyrdom. When Elmo blew himself up for
    the glory of Allah     I was moved to tears.

    Of course, I’m sure when these kids grow up, they’ll see
    that the Western world actually wants nothing but the best for them and won’t
    remember anything the Dane devouring bunny taught them. But hell, the Israelis are embedding
    psychotropic drugs in latkes to ensure their children grow up to be killing machines,
    so fair is fair.

  • The Postponement Blues

    Early April baseball in the Midwest can be a flat-out teeth-kicker. Baseball, of course, can kick your teeth in on a regular basis no matter the month, but shit like last night is brutal, even if it (literally) comes with the territory. Couldn’t they at least have given us a rain delay, so we could have stretched out the night a little bit?

    Remember when the Twins used to play in the American League West, back before the greedy fucks starting monkeying around with the divisions and came up with the utterly inane unbalanced schedule? Back then the Twins played in a division with teams like California, Oakland, Texas, and Seattle. Now you’ve got five northern teams in the Central, and at least for the next two years the Dome provides the only sure refuge from the dodgy weather in the first weeks of the season.

    Maybe somebody can explain to me how the schedule makers manage to send the Twins on their first road trip of the year –in the second week of April– to Chicago, Kansas City, and Detroit. It makes absolutely no sense.

    The weather we’ve been having –on opening night, for instance, and last night (both in Chicago and here)– has already had people wringing their hands about the wisdom of building the new downtown ballpark without a retractable roof. I understand that, certainly; I also wish like hell the Pohlads had poneyed up for a roof, and have some pretty raw memories of making the trek up to Met Stadium as a kid only to have to sit through rain delays that resulted in eventual postponement. I’ve also been rained out in Kansas City, both parks in Chicago, Detroit, Cleveland, Milwaukee, and New York.

    No doubt about it, it sucks. It always sucks. It messes with the day-to-day, day-after-day rhythms of the game, particularly early and late in the season. But while sitting through close to a thousand games in the Dome –the Twins moved into the dump the year I moved to town– I’ve gained a little perspective on rainouts. For the last ten years, for every game I’ve attended, I’ve made a plus or minus notation in my scorebook. Pluses represent all those games where I would have been at least relatively miserable sitting outdoors watching a baseball game. A double plus generally means either the game wouldn’t have been played were it not for the Dome, or I wouldn’t have slogged through the weather to sit through it. A minus has come to represent sort of the Dome version of a rainout: those are the afternoons or evenings where it felt like a crime to be sitting indoors on a beautiful day watching a game that was invented to be played outside on beautiful days.

    I can tell without going back through all of my scorebooks that the minuses probably outnumber the pluses by at least five-to-one, which is something I suggest we all keep in mind during the dark early days of this season, and when the Twins finally do move into that new ballpark in 2010.

    Shit, just on principle I’m going to feel obligated to gut out games in the new yard even on miserable April and September (and –knock wood– October) nights, because I know how damn grateful I’m going to be for all those beautiful days and nights in between.