Category: Letter

Having moved back from Seattle 18 months ago, I completely relate to Jennifer Vogel’s struggle with homesickness [“Weed Whacked,” July 2002]. I enjoyed revisiting the old haunts mentioned in her article. Newfound friends drinking caffeine uppers and smoking Vancouver downers are charming but lack a certain something Minnesota brims over with. Is it the smell of 37 different varieties of hot dish or the Finnish accent from an aunt who asks over and over the questions of your life’s existence, “Oh yeah? Yor back in school, huh? Well, donchaknow? Say, when are yoo gonna bring home a nice boy with you, huh?” We might be accused of “Minnesota
N-ice” but, I genuinely feel our work ethic and family values beat anything the West Coast can produce. Seattle is beautiful but my heart can’t beat freely anywhere other than home.

Jenifer Morgenstern
Brooklyn Center

Dear Rake Editors,

Are you out of your alleged minds? Judy Garland is less famous than Josh Hartnett? Okay, maybe among twenty-somethings at this exact second, but the cover said "of all time." Let’s see if "Black Hawk Down" is an annual TV event 60 years from now. Let’s see if people can name the character he played in 2022, let alone 2062! You say that Hartnett is "not yet through with his first fifteen minutes" of fame. Are you sure he’ll get a second fifteen? Tick tock…

I’m not even going to get started on the absurdity of some of the others you have above the immortal Ms. Garland.

By the way, Al Franken’s (he also should have been higher on your list) movie "Stuart Saves His Family" was not "astonishingly bad." Either Roger Ebert or his co-host at the time (was Gene Siskel still alive then?) or both gave the movie a good review. So does the Video Movie Guide by Mick Martin & Marsha Porter. The film was a victim of the fallout from other truly awful SNL films released before it. People assumed it was another "It’s Pat" and didn’t bother to go see it and find out they were wrong. Is that what you did, too? You don’t have to like it, of course. There is no accounting for taste (hence the career of Tom Green), but calling it "astonishingly bad" is a bit harsh to say the least.

D.M. Jordan

Next page: Defending Robert Bly

Ever since your publication of “You Don’t Know Jack” [Gastronomer, June 2002], I’ve had trouble sleeping. What has been keeping me awake nights is the turmoil over whether or not to expose your “Gastronomer,” Joe Pastoor, as the fraud he is. I have made the decision to come clean. (And C.J., if you’re reading, please don’t make our family’s disgrace any greater by publishing any of this in your column.) Joe Pastoor (The Rake’s Gastronomer) lured us to the Mall of America one Saturday in April, with promises of sampling delicious deserts at Á La Mode. After Joe selected a sampling of tasty delights, which he had promised to share with me (his wife) and our two daughters, he started acting twitchy and nervous. When I asked him what was wrong, he told me that he had left his keys at the cash machine. Joe asked if I would mind taking both of the children and going to look for his keys. We did so, to no avail. When we returned empty-handed, there was Joe with keys in hand, surrounded by three empty plates. “Sorry honey, but I guess I had my keys in my pocket all along,” said Joe. Contrary to his claim that these treats were shared by all, Joe had dispatched the apple crisp, cheesecake, and giant (really big) chocolate chip cookie all on his own. Oh, and one more thing: Unless you consider Joe’s stomach a storage locker, the white-chocolate raspberry scone never stood a chance.

Mrs. Joe (Gastronomer) Pastoor
St. Louis Park

Meleah Maynard’s article [“I Against I,” May] was well written, informative, and palpable. Maynard is right on point that just being “black” does not make one community. The Somalis and African Americans are going through the same integration problems that waves of immigrants have been experiencing for centuries—Italians versus the Irish at the turn of the last century, or Mexicans versus Puerto Ricans in New York City today. It is a far greater challenge to find ways to live peacefully than to find reasons to be divided. Kudos to all the students, principals, and everyone else involved for thoughtfully handling “the forced integration far beyond the bounds of what Brown v. Topeka Board of Education encompassed.”

Phyllis Brower
Brooklyn, NY

Every year you conduct this moronic “Top Doctors” contest (Kildare, Dentons, Demento) and every year the imbeciles in your mail room miss the truly greats (Scholl’s, Death, Welby). Even though I’ve been a longstanding subscriber (Roboto, Casey, Doom), in fact a charter member, (Johnny Fever, Glass, Love), please cancel my subscription (Evil, Haushka, Phibes)!

Deborah Klein
Three Lakes, WI

God bless Fr. Thomas Buffer! We need more priests like him to question the accurancy of these reporters who will say anything to get a story. Judge not, lest you be judged. Have these people ever heard of the Ten Commandments? Shame on them. Keep up the good work, Father. I’m praying
for you and every Catholic priest who stands hids ground. My own uncle is a Catholic priest, and there is no other man I look up to more.

Sincerely,
Tricia L.
Cincinnati, OH

Thanks for your article about this inspiring woman, Nellie Stone Johnson [Native Son, May]. For the past two weeks we here in Britain have been drowning in sycophantic tributes to “the Nation’s Favourite Granny”—the dear old Queen Mum, most of whose 101 pampered years were devoted to flitting between her five homes, backing racehorses, drinking gin, and running up a £4,000,000 overdraft. It’s a pleasure to read about a woman of real achievement.

Julia D. Atkinson
York, England

Somalis and African Americans have to end the misunderstanding that exists between them [“I Against I,” May]. Every girl and every boy has to try to talk to each other. They have to believe the reality, not just what they feel or guess. Also, African American and Somali parents and elders have to work to solve this problem. Be peaceful. Remember: Life is in peace, and peace is in life.

Halima Ali
Advanced ESL Class
Edison High School

Clinton Collins suggests that all the littering in North Minneapolis is done by young, male African Americans [Free the Jackson Five!, May]. How does he come to this, dare I say, startling conclusion? The people in front of his house were young and black. Therefore, we shall presume his situation is universal for citizens of the North side. But of course this situation isn’t simply limited to this small demographic in Minneapolis. While living on both sides of town (as a result of shared custody), I have noticed trash everywhere. And not, as Collins would lead one to believe, just the areas where the African American population flourishes. Black kids do it, white adults do it. It is not a matter of age, race, or any other social category. When Collins claims that children of color use race as an excuse for littering, he does so without providing any clear proof. This unprompted rebuke of “black victimism” is very offensive, especially to those African American males like me who do practice cleanliness in our environment. I believe the issue my father wished to address is an important one, but his format for doing so was best described as a temper tantrum. He says, “I was mad as hell.” Sorry Dad, but you’re always mad as hell. You focus on a small percentage of people and unleash your unsupported opinions. To this I must say, “Whatchu talkin’ ’bout, Dadda?!”

Joseph Clinton Collins
Minneapolis Southwest High School

Father Thomas Buffer’s diary [“Father, Forgive Them,” May] comes off more as a bitter diatribe against the press and modernism than as any real answer as to what to do with priests who violate the trust of children. To imply that “homosexual priests have gotten sexually involved with boys under 18” due to societal acceptance of homosexuality and a modernist, liberal society is so spurious as to be laughable. Millions of people are exposed to these same cultural changes, yet they don’t become pedophiles or ephebophiles. The real issue here is that there are professions in our society that need to be as above reproach as is humanly possible. Teachers, physicians, social workers, psychologists, and the clergy—we put complete faith and trust in their hands. It is bad enough that someone in these professions would violate an adult’s trust. It is even more insidious when the trust of a child is violated, especially because children are obviously dependent on adults for nurturing and direction. It is my experience that the vast majority of priests, rabbis, and pastors are good and decent people who minister to their people with concern and kindness. However, it is articles like this that further reinforce the perception that the church hierarchy is not really concerned about addressing this most troubling of problems. Sanctimonious attacks on the press and the evils of a modern society do nothing to improve the situation.

Scott Cullen-Benson
Oakdale