Category: Sports

And pretty tough, all things considered. On the heels of losing three straight to the first-place Tigers, Michael Cuddyer, who was 11-for-21 coming out of the break, goes on the DL, and the Twins come right back and take two straight from the West-leading Angels.

Post break: four straight wins, three straight losses, two straight wins. The pitching staff has given up more than three runs just twice in nine games.

I’m done trying to figure it out, frankly.

The Detroit series was painful, and pretty much everybody –myself included– was ready to write off the team and the season. It still doesn’t look good, of course, but you have to admire the way the Twins have responded, and, regardless of whether Terry Ryan makes any moves, I don’t think this is a team that’s going to roll over.

I’m headed out of town for a week, and likely won’t have much chance to check in from the road, but if the opportunity presents itself I’ll throw up a post.

How many runners can one team strand? How many decent –and even great– pitching performances can one team waste? How does a team that scored 32 runs in a doubleheader in Chicago turn around and manage just 24 runs in six games coming out of the All Star break?

I’ll be good and damned if I know.

In case you’re not paying close attention, that’s five straight one-run games, and three straight one-run losses.

This is the fucking American League, dammit. Get a real DH.

It’s all strictly for entertainment purposes the rest of the way. Let’s see the Twins prove me wrong.

If you’re interested in more on this sorry impasse, go over and check out my conversation with Britt Robson and David Brauer at On the Ball. We go into the morass in a bit more detail there.

I ran my finger down the schedule –I was pissed off, and in a hurry– and if I’m not mistaken the Twins have now been shutout eight times this season. Three of those have been 1-0 games, two were 2-0, two 3-0. and one 8-0.

So, basically if the Twins could have managed any sort of borderline Major League production in those games they very well could have won at least six, and maybe seven, of them. In seven of the eight the starting pitching certainly did its job, at any rate, and gave the team every opportunity to get a win.

That’s all hindsight, of course, which is worthless, but the ugly truth hurts all the more in the harsh light of day. This team has been so close all year to being a very good team, but time and again they’ve pulled disappearing acts that too closely resembled last night’s performance.

I hate the sacrifice bunt, particularly when you’re looking at a 1-0 deficit, but last night, with Lew Ford on first, nobody out, and Nick Punto and his .209 average at the plate in the eighth, it made a certain kind of sense. It also would have made a certain kind of sense to send Johan Santana up there as a pinch hitter, because Punto could not get the bunt down. He couldn’t even come close, and managed foul squibs at the first two pitches he offered at.

Punto’s a fine defensive player, and a guy who’s very much in the mold of the kind of players the organization loves, but if he, with his increasingly limited ability to help the team offensively, can’t lay down a freaking sacrifice bunt he doesn’t belong in the lineup.

He flew out to right and left Ford standing at first, which allowed Luis Castillo to ground into a double play in the next at bat.

When a team loses 1-0 there’s obviously plenty of blame to go around, but that inning was a microcosm for Punto’s season to date, and was a perfect symbol of the team’s maddening inability to manufacture runs when they most need them.

Remember the Dark Ages?

I sure do.

Man, do I ever, and, holy shit, were they ever painful.

Remember 1996, the season that began with the announcement of Kirby Puckett’s forced retirement? That team went 78-84 (not that bad, really, all things considered), but the pitching staff had an ERA of 5.28, the third straight year the Twins had an earned run average above 5.00. No Twin hit 20 home runs –Marty Cordova was the club leader with 16. Cordova also somehow found a way to drive in 111, and Paul Molitor drove in 113. A lot of that had to do with the continued presence of Chuck Knoblauch in the lineup. Knoblauch scored 140 runs in ’06, and three other guys scored more than 90 (Molitor, Cordova,and Rich Becker).

Yeah, Rich Becker. Remember him? The guy actually hit .291 that year, with 31 doubles, four triples, 12 home runs, 19 stolen bases, 92 runs, and 71 RBI.

Frankie Rodriguez led the staff with 13 wins (13-14, 5.04 ERA). Brad Radke went 11-16 (4.46).

The Twins were even worse in 1997 (68-94), despite the fact that Radke won 20 games. They still had Molitor (.305 BA and 89 RBI) and Knoblauch (117 runs), though, so they were at least capable of impersonating a Major League team on some nights.

Molitor was still around in 1998, but he was playing out the string (.281, 75 R, 69 RBI). Knoblauch was gone. Matt Lawton had a little breakout year with 36 doubles and 21 home runs. Todd Walker hit .316 and had 41 doubles. The pitching was atrocious: Radke, at 12-14, was the only guy on the staff to reach double digits in victories. Latroy Hawkins went 7-14, Eric Milton 8-14, Bob Tewksbury 7-13.

Yet somehow the Twins were even worse in 1999 (63-97). Ron Coomer was an All Star, and Justin Morneau had more home runs and RBI at the break this year than Coomer had all season (16 and 65). Cordova led the team with 70 RBI. Not one starter had a winning record, all five finished with double-digit losses, and Radke was again the leader in victories (at 12-14). Nobody came even remotely close to scoring or driving in 100 runs.

Nobody scored or drove in 100 runs in 2000, either. Nobody hit 20 home runs. Radke won 13 games to lead the staff, and the Twins finished at 69-93.

You get the point. If you were around, you remember all too well how bad this team was, and in how many ways, and for how long. It really was brutal. Every year the Twins somehow seemed to find a way to be even worse. Eight straight losing seasons.

We’re spoiled now. Six straight winning seasons, four Central Division titles. There are just four players (Cuddyer, Hunter, Rincon, and Santana, and Cuddyer and Rincon were just getting their feet wet) remaining from the 2002 squad that won that first title.

As frustrating as this team can sometimes be –and I guess you have to keep in mind that every year during this recent run the Twins have been frustrating intermittently, or even for prolonged stretches– it really is nice once in a while to step back, to flip through some old scorebooks from those dark ages, and to recognize how good we have it right now.

Once upon a time we had to make due with guys like this: Dan Masteller, Scott Stahoviak, Lenny Webster, Willie Banks, Alex Cole, Carlos Pulido, Matt Walbeck, Pat Mahomes, Rich Robertson, Scott Klingenbeck, Dan Serafini, Scott Aldred, Joe Mays, and Doug Mientkiewicz.

Now we have Johan Santana, Joe Nathan, Carlos Silva, Pat Neshek, Matt Guerrier, Joe Mauer, Torii Hunter, Justin Morneau, Michael Cuddyer, and Luis Castillo.

Hell, Jason Tyner and Lew Ford would have played 150 games for some of those late ’90s teams.

Actually, imagine this, if you can: Ford played 154 games and got 569 at bats with the 2004 club that won 92 games.

It boggles the mind.

You don’t believe me? All right, well then maybe you’ll believe William Shakespeare:

Base men by his endowments are made great.

—Richard II

Get it? Base men.

No shit, Sherlock (or Shylock).

And then there’s this all-purpose taunt of opposing batters (useful for whenever The Great Santana takes the mound), from Love’s Labor’s Lost:

Thou canst not hit it, hit it, hit it,

Thou canst not hit it, my good man.

Did you see the All-Star Game home run derby? The derby itself was sort of a snooze –too drawn out, too much digressive commentary, too many commercial breaks– but it was the bullshit beforehand that really had me stomping around my living room and foaming at the mouth.

I mean, seriously, doesn’t it chap your fat ass to think that there is someone out there –probably a whole committee of someones– who gets paid, and more than likely paid handsomely, to think up such nonsense?

Let’s see…oh, shit yeah, this will be brilliant: let’s build a great big stage right in the middle of the infield at Pac Bell (or A T & T, or whatever the hell it’s called) Park, and get a bunch of amps and shit and drag the Counting Crows (or Hootie and the Blowfish, or whoever the hell it was) out of mothballs to play one lousy song while we explode some really cheesy flash pots, and after the has-beens have finished their one lousy song we’ll have, like, some military jets come flying over the ballpark.

Fuck yeah! That’ll be so cool! What a perfect way to kick off the home run derby and waste a shitload of money and time!

My God, what a disgraceful bunch of nonsense.

What a ridiculous country.

I almost threw up an entire bag of Swedish Fish.

And, what the hell, as long as I’m on my cranky-old-man-on-the-mountain high horse: Would somebody please, please, please tell John Cougar to shut the fuck up?

I’m very happy –happier than you can possibly know– to have all that All Star monkey business behind me so we can get back to playing baseball.

The Twins are facing a decidedly uphill battle, but I’m not budging: For at least another week or two I’m going to insist that they’ve got what it takes to win the AL wild card.

My, my.

Mercy.

Yowza.

Goodness gracious.

Good heavens.

For heaven’s sake.

For the love of Pete.

Holy cow.

Holy shit.

59 hits, 22 walks, 11 home runs, six errors, and 46 runs, in two freaking games. An American League contest in which the pitcher for the winning team was actually forced to bat –two times.

All I can say is butter my ass and call it a biscuit. If that don’t just beat all.

I don’t know this team. I. Just. Do. Not. Know. Them.

It.

Whatever.

Seriously, that business boggled my mind.

And if a doubleheader performance like that doesn’t get Ozzie Guillen fired, I don’t know what it’s going to take. I mean, Jesus, how do you leave one of your best pitchers in there –a guy who entered the game with a 3.15 ERA– to get the shit pounded out of him like that? Isn’t that why you have guys like David Aardsma and Nick Masset on your roster?

Finally, who wants to bet the Twins turn around and get shutout tomorrow?

Here are the facts, or at least some of them: the Twins lost five of seven games to a lousy Yankee team. And thus far, they’re 0-5 against the first-place Cleveland Indians.

Kevin Slowey didn’t turn out to be the second coming of Francisco Liriano, or even quite the second coming of Brad Radke, circa 1995, and he’s on his way back to Rochester.

The Twins are now seven-and-a-half games back in the Central, and six-and-a-half in the AL wild card hunt. Increasingly it looks like they’re not only going to have to run off a streak similar to last year’s, but also count on some protracted scuffling from the teams they’re chasing.

Right now, after the miserable series in New York, I don’t much like the chances of that happening. And considering what they’ve endured in the first half –Nick Punto’s disappearing act, the utter lack of production from the designated hitter spot, the failures of Sidney Ponson and Ramon Ortiz, the injuries in the bullpen, and the fact that greenhorns have been holding down three-fifths of the starting rotation– I’m actually a little surprised that they’ve managed to win as many games as they have.

A guy like Sid Hartman might be inclined to proclaim this Ron Gardenhire’s best year yet.

The question now, I guess, is at what point do we stop trying to figure out ways to improve this year’s team (and virtually all the speculation to this point has been pretty lame) and start thinking down the road to next year and beyond?

When Scott Baker pitches a game like that, dammit all to hell, you have to find a way to win.

Hell, when anybody pitches a game like that for you, you have to find a way to win.

The Twins have won eight of their last twelve, and just went in and won two of three in Detroit, and they’ve still somehow managed to lose ground in the standings.

Not somehow, actually; Cleveland just keeps winning.

“We have a game plan and we’re sticking to it. Guys are walking, guys are getting in hitting counts. Not being defensive.” So said Michael Cuddyer after Saturday afternoon’s game. Yeah? Really? Where was this game plan against Jeremy Bonderman? The guy was throwing his slider out of the strike zone all night and the Twins were flailing away at it like there was no tomorrow.

By the way: Sunday was the thirteenth time this season the Twins have scored one or fewer runs.

If you’re the sort of fan who has an appreciation for both the home team and the history of the sport, today’s Twins/Jays finale was a pretty fabulous proposition all around, particularly if you were one of the 31,038 folks in attendance at the Dome to see Frank Thomas’ 500th home run in an 8-5 loss to the home club.

I still get a little thrill out of baseball’s statistical milestones. For those of us who grew up with a Baseball Encyclopedia next to the bed, who lived for the annual arrival of the Bill James’ Baseball Abstract, and who felt that our lives would never be truly complete without a visit to Cooperstown, that short list of individual achievements that, regardless of team success, conferred immediate baseball immortality were firmly cemented in our brains: 3000 hits, 500 home runs, 300 wins.

There is now considerable argument regarding whether 500 homers should still be regarded the benchmark for inclusion in the Hall of Fame. When you really think hard about that number, though, it’s difficult not to dismiss the grousing of those who would pooh-pooh the credentials of the latest members of the club. Granted, the steroid issue has cast a rather large shadow over the game’s relatively recent power explosion, and though Thomas was just the 21st Major Leaguer to reach 500, there are a number of guys –Jim Thome, Manny Ramirez, and Alex Rodriguez– who are likely to join Thomas on that list this season.

Still, shit, 500 home runs. That’s ten fifty-homer seasons, or twenty seasons of twenty-five. I guess when you’re a Twins fan those numbers still seem mind boggling. 600 may be, as some claim, the new 500, but not right now it’s not, and I say 500 remains a mighty impressive feat, even with all the question marks –juice, juiced balls, diluted pitching, smaller parks.

It’s also pretty fabulous that on the same day that Thomas hit number 500, Craig Biggio became the 27th player in history to reach 3000 hits. Again, when you break that number down into single-season benchmarks, it’s pretty impressive: 3000 hits translates into fifteen 200-hit seasons. In other words, a guy has to play a long time, and be pretty damn consistent and pretty damn good to get there. Biggio, of course, has long been a favorite of stat-heads, and there should be no real argument about his Hall of Fame credentials; he’s always played a key defensive position, for one thing, and is the only player in major-league history to have 600 doubles, 250 home runs (286), 3,000 hits, and 400 stolen bases.

Barry Bonds will probably reach 3000 hits as well, but after that we might be waiting a long time for another player to reach 3000. The active career leaders list is filled with old guys –following Biggio and Bonds on the list are Julio Franco, Steve Finley, Omar Vizquel, Ken Griffey, Gary Sheffield, and Luis Gonzalez, and all of those guys are somewhere in the range of 400-600 hits away. Derek Jeter had 2150 hits going into this season, and Alex Rodriquez had 2067.

The most impressive –and likely the most increasingly elusive– number at this point is 300 wins. Tom Glavine will get there this year. Randy Johnson is next on the active list with 284 wins, and after him there’s a huge drop off to Mike Mussina, with 242 wins. Assuming Johnson eventually reaches 300 –and that’s assuming quite a lot right now– I think it’s possible we’ll never see another 300-game winner. Glavine will be the 23rd player to achieve the milestone, and in this era of pitch counts, relief specialists, band boxes, and explosive offense, 300 wins is all the more impressive. Again, to break it down by single-season achievement, that number translates to fifteen twenty-win seasons. How many starters even manage to stay healthy and productive enough to last fifteen seasons in the Major Leagues anymore?

Maybe this will put it in perspective: at the age of 28, Johan Santana has 86 wins. If he pitches another ten years and manages to win 20 games a season that would leave him with 286 victories. How likely do you think that is to happen?