Category: Sports

I ran my finger down the schedule –I was pissed off, and in a hurry– and if I’m not mistaken the Twins have now been shutout eight times this season. Three of those have been 1-0 games, two were 2-0, two 3-0. and one 8-0. So, basically if the Twins could have managed any sort…

Remember the Dark Ages? I sure do. Man, do I ever, and, holy shit, were they ever painful. Remember 1996, the season that began with the announcement of Kirby Puckett’s forced retirement? That team went 78-84 (not that bad, really, all things considered), but the pitching staff had an ERA of 5.28, the third straight…

You don’t believe me? All right, well then maybe you’ll believe William Shakespeare: Base men by his endowments are made great. —Richard II Get it? Base men. No shit, Sherlock (or Shylock). And then there’s this all-purpose taunt of opposing batters (useful for whenever The Great Santana takes the mound), from Love’s Labor’s Lost: Thou…

Did you see the All-Star Game home run derby? The derby itself was sort of a snooze –too drawn out, too much digressive commentary, too many commercial breaks– but it was the bullshit beforehand that really had me stomping around my living room and foaming at the mouth. I mean, seriously, doesn’t it chap your…

My, my. Mercy. Yowza. Goodness gracious. Good heavens. For heaven’s sake. For the love of Pete. Holy cow. Holy shit. 59 hits, 22 walks, 11 home runs, six errors, and 46 runs, in two freaking games. An American League contest in which the pitcher for the winning team was actually forced to bat –two times.…

Here are the facts, or at least some of them: the Twins lost five of seven games to a lousy Yankee team. And thus far, they’re 0-5 against the first-place Cleveland Indians. Kevin Slowey didn’t turn out to be the second coming of Francisco Liriano, or even quite the second coming of Brad Radke, circa…