Tag: marriage

  • A Poem for Newlyweds

    I was at a wedding this weekend, which reminded me that, at least in Minnesota, summer is the same as wedding season.

    I’d only met the bride and groom a few months ago, after they’d already sent out the invitations. They were carrying a couch out from a duplex in Kenwood, trying to figure out how to fit it in their minivan; I was carrying my Lunds bags filled with books and DVDs into said duplex. I was to occupy the room that Dan, now a young husband, was vacating so that, for two months, he and his now-wife could live in mild sin.

    "Whuttup," I said.
    "Yo," they responded.
    "Word," I said.
    "Word," they agreed.

    My roommates – fine, eligible young men – are good buddies with Dan, and he still brews beer in our basement. It’s a pretty regular occurrence that I’ll come home from pretending to work at an Internet hub, and Dan is in our kitchen, washing out old bottles to re-use, or boiling down hops, or sampling a recent brew out of a wine glass. ("Whuttup," I’ll say…)

    Naturally we – my roommates, Dan, and I – end up drinking together a bit. Sometimes we accidentally get drunk. Which has led to some expedited bonding, to the point where it would have been awkward if I didn’t go to the wedding. (Upping the ante: a half dozen of Dan’s friends from the west coast were staying at our house this weekend.) And yet the invitations were gone.

    Dan and I get along, but are still not so close that I should be able to disrupt the entire invitation/R.S.V.P. protocol of classic wedding tradition simply because I live where he used to live. I got the sense that for a couple days there was a ‘what should do about Max’ conversation going on, though that may be have been my narcissism speaking and not actual people.

    It was decided that I would tag along as a ‘plus one’ of one of my roomies, whom I’ll call Robert, even though that’s not his name. Everyone was happy – the protocol was undisturbed, I’d scored an invite through normal means, and Rob didn’t have to scramble for a real date.

    Rob did, however, have to read a poem at the wedding.

    And he was totally cool with it – Rob’s been a poetry hound for some time now. Mornings, he sits in our living room with his headphones on, bobbing his neck and mouthing lyrics – except that his iPod is filled not with hip-hop, but with recordings of Wallace Stevens and T.S. Eliot reading their own poetry. No joke.

    And so an incredibly appropriate poem was selected. A good poem, that will partially be copied below, called "Epithalamion/Wedding Dawn," by local writer Michael Dennis Browne. Rob committed it to memory and everything. But then he found out that Mr. Dennis Browne was good friends of the groom’s family, and would be in attendance.

    For two days, Rob’s hands didn’t stop shaking.

    At five p.m. on Saturday, we were sitting in our assigned chairs at the Event Center on St. Anthony Main, Rob running the stanzas over in his mind, a crumpled facsimile of the poem in his back pocket. Soon an eminent-looking man crouched down beside his seat.

    "Whuttup," Rob said.
    "So what part of the poem are you reading?" asked Michael Dennis Browne.
    "The last part. Part three."
    "Ah," said the poet. "That’s the best part."

    I’m inclined to agree.

    "Epithalamion/Wedding Dawn" (Part 3)

    You must not be angry with this planet.
    For we are in a company
    whose music surpasses its pain.
    For I tell you, I sat in the dark, also,
    and the wedding light came onto my window,
    and the hills were cleared for me,
    and the field spread out in front of me, remarkable, like marble.
    And I thought; this is their day,
    how it breaks for them!
    O sir, the angel flies, even with bruises
    O lady, a bird can wash himself anywhere.
    The dawn that came up the day of your wedding
    took me in its hand like the creature I am;
    and I heard the dark that I came from
    whispering ‘Be silent.’
    And the dawn said ‘Sing.’
    And I found the best words I could find around me
    and came to your wedding.

  • The Neglected Breast

    He
    couldn’t help glancing at her legs. It wasn’t just that they
    were long and slender and perfectly tapered, or that she had swung one
    over the other and now tapped the air with a sling-back stiletto, or
    that they were smooth and tanned and flawless, but that they were bare.
    Like so many young professional women down here, she did not wear stockings
    and for a man of his age and tradition, he found that slightly crass
    and sexy as all get-out.

    She
    had dark eyes and olive skin and over-the-shoulder black hair — too long,
    he felt, for a marriage counselor, although she usually had it in some
    kind of bun or twist or something that held it up. Today, she
    was wearing a pencil skirt, navy blue, a white silk blouse, and
    black-rimmed glasses. He fancied her tossing those glasses on
    to her desk and in one fluid motion, reaching back and releasing that
    bounty of hair. But hell, he thought, even if she had, what would
    I
    do about it?

    "Mr.
    Raffort? Mr. Raffort, do you agree with what Mrs. Raffort just
    said?"

    "Art,"
    Mrs. Raffort said. "Doctor LaMetti is speaking to you.
    Arthur!" she jabbed him.

    "What?!"

    "Mrs.
    Raffort says your affection for her has waned."

    "Aw,
    Jesus. Do we have to talk about everything?"

    "I’m
    trying to help you understand each other, Mr. Raffort. I’m not
    asking these questions out of idle curiosity."

    "Right.
    How old are you, anyway?"

    "I
    don’t see the relevance of that."

    "What
    difference does it make, Art?"

    "I
    want to know. For the last month, we’ve been answering every
    little thing she’s asked about us. Can’t I ask one question
    of her?"

    "I’m
    thirty-seven."

    "See?
    I told you. She’s not even Mimi’s age. I’m not going
    to sit here and discuss our love life with a total stranger, especially
    one who’s not even as old as our youngest child."

    "Mr.
    Raffort," she said, taking a breath. "Is it true what Mrs.
    Raffort said about your affections waning?"

    "None
    of your business."

    "It
    is, Doctor. He hardly ever makes love to me anymore, and when he
    does, he never touches me. Not like he used to at least."

    "What
    are you talking about? Of course I touch you when we’re having
    s– Aw, geez, can’t we just get out of here?"

    "Mrs.
    Raffort, would you like to tell Mr. Raffort what you mean by ‘not
    touching you like he used to’?"

    "No,
    she wouldn’t."

    "Well,
    for one thing, he never touches my left breast."

    "My
    God, Helen."

    "Well
    you don’t!"

    "Do
    you have anything you’d like to say to that, Mr. Raffort?"

    "Yes.
    ‘Goodbye.’"

    "Please,
    sir. Sit down. Go ahead, Mrs. Raffort."

    "Well,
    that’s it, really. He touches the right one, but never the left
    one. It’s as though he’s intentionally neglecting it."

    "Oh,
    for Christsake."

    "Ever
    since I had that lump removed."

    "I
    didn’t want to disturb the sutures."

    "They
    were taken out over a year ago, Art."

    He
    glared at his wife, his face reddening.

    "I’ll
    be in the car," he said, and against their pleas, he walked out.

    The
    heat rose visibly from the blacktop as he crossed the parking lot, never
    mind that it was the dead of winter. This was Naples, Florida
    and if it wanted to be 85 degrees with 90 percent humidity in mid-February,
    then by God, that’s what it would be. He opened the car door
    to a plume of hot air, reached inside for his cell phone and saw that
    he had a message. It was the call he had dreaded, or at least
    it had been before he’d had these few days to try on the possibility.
    He pressed ‘call-back’ with an air of acceptance.

    "I’m
    sorry, Art."

    "You’re
    sure."

    "Yes.
    You’re free to get a second opinion, but–"

    "No,
    I figured as much. Well, shit."

    "We
    need to get you in for surgery right away. It’s just on the
    edge of the pancreas, so there’s a chance–"

    "No,
    I’m not having any surgery. No chemo either."

    "But–"

    "I’ve
    already thought this through. Look, my wife’s coming.
    I’ll call you later. Not a word of this to anyone, you understand?"
    and he flipped the phone shut.

    "Well,
    that was the rudest display of behavior you’ve ever exhibited,"
    she said as she approached.

    "I’m
    sorry, I just can’t– Why are we doing this anyway? All these
    years, we’ve been able to solve our own problems and now you want
    to share our most intimate moments with some kid who’s not even–"

    "She’s
    not a kid; she’s a woman. And she’s trying to help us."

    "She’s
    a kid. She says like all the time and sooo.
    ‘I’m like sooo proud to be like
    working with you.’"

    "She
    does not. She never talks that way, and even if she did, so what?
    Every generation has its idioms. God knows ours did."

    "I
    feel as though I’m talking to the grandkids, to Billy. When
    I disagree, I half expect her to say, ‘So sue me.’"

    "Quit
    being ridiculous. Besides, none of this excuses your rudeness."

    "I
    said, ‘I’m sorry,’ OK? Let’s just go home."

    "I
    have to pick up my medication."

    "All
    right. I’ll browse the liquor store."

    "We
    have enough booze."

    "I
    said, ‘browse.’"