Month: May 2004

  • Wine, wine, wine! Attitude Adjustment

    The other day a student asked me to name my favorite building. I had no hesitation. “Exeter Cathedral,” I said. There is plenty of magnificence: creamy, glowing stone, the longest medieval Gothic vault in England (possibly in the world), a forest of columns branching upward. But this place also has an unintimidating intimacy; while it lacks the astonishing height of French medieval cathedrals, it has a measured, welcoming breadth. If you don’t believe me, try the pictures at www.exeter-cathedral.org.uk.

    Don’t miss the details. The carving underneath a seat of a fourteenth-century elephant with cow-like cloven hooves; the corbel carvings of the master mason Roger and his dog. And the owls. My mother, who grew up in the shadow of this great fane, would spend wet afternoons with her sisters in a tiny chantry counting owls. A bishop called Oldham (friend of Erasmus) lies buried there and his coat of arms bears three owls (Oldham/Owldom, geddit?). The sculptor who decorated the walls had taken the pun to an extreme, and the girls were able to find at least forty-three owls—small, wide-eyed, often well concealed in corners. In 1942 someone told my mother that the cathedral had been razed by aerial bombardment. She walked round all day in a daze.

    Her informant, thank God, was wrong; only a single chapel had been destroyed. But a mere eighteen months earlier, at Coventry, an entire medieval cathedral had been burnt by incendiary bombs. While the stench of dank charred timber still hung in the air, one of the clergy picked up three medieval nails and put them together to form a cross.

    Not long after the end of the war, a group from Coventry went over to Dresden in East Germany, which had been devastated by Allied bombing. They helped rebuild a hospital. This group, the Community of the Cross of Nails, has spread beyond Coventry and is still active in the ghastliest parts of the world, mediating in Iraq, in Gaza, trying to get people to see things whole. When one thinks how thick and deep horror and hatred are spread across the earth, it seems hardly decent to write about the pleasures of wine.

    Fear and rancor have never been in short supply, of course. People produced plenty in the Middle Ages as well. For most of the fourteenth century, a dispute as vicious as it is difficult to understand kept half a dozen successive popes in exile at Avignon in the south of France. The palace they erected overlooks the bridge across the river Rhone. The summer residence they built in the hills was slighted in the sixteenth-century Wars of Religion (more horror), and its ruins still loom large above the village.

    However, the vines planted at Châteauneuf-du-Pape (new castle of the pope) had their successors, and in the nineteenth century, wine named after the castle became widely available. The reds are better known than the whites, so it was a pleasure recently to meet a bottle of good white Châteauneuf, from the 2002 vintage. Vieux Mas des Papes is a pleasant pale yellow and has a good heart. After an initial impression of the green sweetness of fresh grapes, the wine takes a grip on the palate and promotes substantial salivation and a lingering finish. One imagines there might be incense which tastes like this. It is certainly a wine that would go well with summer greens—endives, asparagus, chives—and like all Châteauneuf-du-Pape, it is not lacking in alcohol (never less than twelve-and-a-half percent).

    All this for only $19.68, including tax. The figure sticks in the mind because 1968 was one of the worst years in living memory for many French wines. Oddly enough, 2002 was also a poor year in the Rhone valley—it rained. But this wine is made from the young vines of a well-known Châteauneuf domaine, that of Vieux Télegraphe, and the skill of the winemaker has triumphed over adversity. Perhaps it is true that wine does more than Milton can to justify God’s ways to Man. Justifying Man’s ways to God, or even to himself, is quite another matter.

  • A Heavenly Kind of Mystery Meat

    What is it about cows and cowboys that make us wax rhapsodic? It seems they beget legend and lore, or at least they did in the days when the sight of a herd breaking over a hill, with unshaven, grizzly men on horseback driving them in, could bring a tear to any Pappy’s eye. Maybe because the plains are being eaten up by thousand-acre CEO retreats, or maybe because people think of salad dressing when they hear the word “ranch,” or maybe because of the proliferation of places like Steak ’n Shake—whatever the reason, the romance and appreciation that attend tucking into a beautiful steak have almost disappeared. One may wonder if, in this age of information and globalization, there is any room left for myths and mystery. Enter the Japanese.

    In the mid-nineties, rumors and mutterings about a superior breed of beef cattle from the Far East began surfacing in the food world. Soon enough, Kobe beef started popping up on influential menus at astronomical prices, upwards of two hundred dollars per pound. It was said to have a mind-boggling texture and flavor, unrivaled by any steak one could sink one’s teeth into in the U.S. Along with the beef came the stories: tales of secret Japanese traditions, including cows fed with beer, massaged with sake, and soothed with classical music. It seemed fantastic, and not at all cowboy-ish. The New Age myths began to take hold. Could a soused cow be the secret to heavenly steak? A sake massage might do many of us well and turn around our disposition, but can it make us tastier? Is it possible that the beef’s divinity comes from inebriated bovine divas sloshing in Sapporo? Or is it simply a matter of genetics?

    Japanese history tells of cattle imported in the second century as labor animals to aid in rice cultivation. Because of the mountainous terrain, their passage was slow, leading to small, pocketed herds among isolated villages. Cross-breeding was common until the early 1600s, when the Shogun officially closed the national herd due to unwanted foreign influences. It has remained closed to this day, except for a brief period of importation during the Meiji Restoration in the late 1800s.

    These mysterious cattle, known as Wagyu (“wa” meaning Japanese and “gyu” meaning cow), are the breed that provides the famed Kobe beef. As with Champagne and Parmigiano Reggiano, however, the criteria for true Kobe beef is partly geographic. The Wagyu must come from the Hyogo Prefecture, whose capital city is Kobe, and also conform to traditions and strict standards of the Prefecture Council.

    Isolated herdsmen of each region within Hyogo tended to develop distinctive breeding and feeding traditions, which they are still hard-pressed to reveal. Some have hinted that feeding the cattle beer stimulates their appetites during the warm months. Others claim that sake simply makes the hide attractively shiny, thereby fetching a higher price for the beast. Whatever they may be, the enchanted techniques of the Kobe herdsmen deliver not only on flavor, but also on softness. More than merely tender, Kobe beef is supremely velvety; it has been and still is the standard bearer for highest quality in the world.

    When you first look at a cut of Kobe beef, your extra-lean training from the supermarket may give you pause. The meat is richly streaked with white fat (the good, unsaturated kind, for those still cautious about the “F” word), which means that it is luxuriously and audaciously jammed with flavor. Kobe beef is unlike any other steak, and to cook it as such would ruin it. To keep all of its precious fat and flavor from seeping out, the beef is best prepared by simply searing, as you might a steak of ahi tuna. So if you’re the type who orders a filet mignon well done with a side of ketchup, save your money for therapy.

    One way the Japanese enjoy Kobe is in the traditional teppanyaki style, by searing on a steel hot plate, or teppan. Two restaurants in the Uptown area, Tonic and Chino Latino, will let you try this on your own, providing sashimi-style slices of Kobe and a hot stone on which to cook it. That said, heed my warning: sear quickly and eat. As for the increasingly popular Kobe burgers, I have yet to find a local version that even comes close to the perfection of one that I ate in Indianapolis (of all places) last year. (If you’re going to serve the King of Burgers, make sure it’s not overcooked, and appears with the right kind of company—no cheap lettuce or flimsy tomatoes as garnish.) The newly opened Mission in the IDS Center, however, is turning out a pastrami made with Kobe beef, and it is all that you hope it to be.

    It is largely believed that the genetic predisposition of the Wagyu breed—not just the Kobe strain—produces a higher percentage of unsaturated fats than any other breed, leading to the white, streaky marbling that packs each bite with flavor. Americans are counting on this important fact, because unless you are physically in Japan, the “Kobe” beef you are eating probably came from Wagyu cows in Oregon. Does that mean the geisha girls giving sake hoof massages wear fleece and drink double espressos? Most likely, since there has been a ban on Japanese beef imports since 2001.

    However, American Wagyu producers have been working for more than twenty years to perfect Japanese traditions in creating their Kobe(-style) beef. Eventually, it will be known by its correct name—Wagyu—but in its infancy with the American palate, “Kobe” has become the word that most people understand. Comparisons of the American version with true Japanese Kobe have generated much discussion and many opinions, all of which have been duly inflamed by national pride and a two-way beef trade embargo. I say we duke it out cowboy style, over bourbon and karaoke.

  • We Didn’t Say It, Honest!

    I really enjoyed your column addressing the N-word. There are few words that can be used in an acceptable manner in one setting and unleash a firestorm in another. SNL had viewers bent over with Chevy Chase doing word association with Richard Pryor on a job interview (White? Black. Negro? Whitey. Colored? Redneck. Tarbaby? Peckerwood. Spearchucker? White trash. Junglebunny? Honkey. Nigger? DEAD honkey.) To the brothers, it rolls off the tongue with ease. Honkey and cracker don’t bother me, although I don’t hear too many black folks saying them anymore (and I’m quite sure no white folks use them either). Spic, wetback, slope, squaw, and chink all carry some kinetic energy. The point is, there is no other word so offensively charged that is embraced by the same culture who become enraged by it. I can’t see any valid use of the word from a Caucasian perspective or otherwise. The black community seems to want to hang onto it as some sort of trophy to be waved around in front of everyone: We can use it but you can’t. Fifteen years ago, my buddy and I went to a film at Galtier Cinema in St. Paul. There were about thirteen people in the theater, nine African Americans near the front rows, me and my friend in the middle, and two African Americans in the back row. As the movie was starting, the group up front was talking and joking aloud. After awhile I hollered up, “Hey, could you keep it down, it’s hard to hear the movie.” Then, a voice from the back piped in, “Yeah, shut up niggers!” Well, my buddy and I turned a paler shade of white as five angry guys came crawling over the tops of the theater seats on a beeline straight for us. I raised my hands in the air and said with a shriek, “Look, man, we didn’t say it!” Just then, the voice from the back started laughing at his friends who he had just stirred up. They realized they’d been had and everyone was howling. Well, almost everyone. Put it this way: I don’t remember the movie, but I got my six dollars’ worth of adrenaline that day.

    Peter Christensen,
    Minneapolis

  • Racism Is Not Natural

    “Our Word, Not Yours” [Free the Jackson Five, May] is an extremely well-written and eloquent discussion of a sensitive topic. I’m a white thirty-year-old man. I grew up in Apple Valley. The family I was raised in was made up of Jehovah’s Witnesses and issues of race were basically never issues. My childhood friends were white and black and Asian, the congregation I attended contained just about every major ethnic group, and we were all just Witnesses, united by our religion. I don’t remember anybody ever talking about race or ethnicity. Given this background, it was not surprising at all to me that my formerly all-white family has expanded (through marriage) to include one Lebanese, one Japanese and three African-American members. At the DNA level, we’re all just people and I’ve always been taught that. So it’s really disturbing for me when I encounter examples of racism. Some people think it’s naturally present in all people, but when I’ve witnessed it I have felt sick, like I was watching the most unnatural and vile thing I could imagine. About the N-word: I recognize that I would never even want to use it in the way my brother-in-law or black friends use it sometimes. It just seems that there is too much opportunity for it being taken wrong and no reason to do it. I see no double standard at all for a word to take on different meaning in different contexts or in different groups or cultures. I also see no reason why somebody outside that culture (even if closely attached to it) should attempt to change that situation. Any person who has respect and love for their fellow man needs to learn to appreciate the differences between cultures. It’s ludicrous that there are white people who get upset over the “double standard” of black people being able to use a word they themselves cannot use.

    Ryan Sutter,
    Apple Valley

  • Humble Opinions Gladly Accepted

    In my humble opinion, your magazine has the best journalism I’ve seen locally. The piece on Matt Entenza [“Wrestling Matt,” May] was so helpful for those of us in despair about the state of the state, and Entenza’s goals, background, and motivation give us hope. We parents of special-needs kids are heartbroken that Minnesota, known for having one of the most progressive programs for persons with developmental disabilities in the country, is having its soul eroded by indifference. Your piece on Cy Thao [“A Picture is Worth 5,000 Years,” May] illuminated both the wrenching history of the Hmong, and one man’s commitment to change, and to art.

    Elizabeth Burns,
    St. Louis Park

  • Friends of Prt, Backatcha

    Personal Rapid Transit [“My Pod,” the Rakish Angle, April; Letters, May] has an essential role to play in the transit mix. In Europe today there are several PRT systems in development, including an EU-funded collaborative effort called MAIT. The EU is also exploring the feasibility of installing the Welsh system, Ultra, in four European cities. Minnesota is lucky to be home to Taxi 2000, an internationally recognized, leading PRT developer. We have the resources, the tools, and the know-how to build a world-class transit system that would be most people’s first mobility choice. Why not avail ourselves of these assets?

    Amy Fink, St. Paul
    Citizens for Personal Rapid Transit

  • Cool Moms Are Protective Moms

    I have a seven-year-old daughter now, and though I consider myself one of the “cool” moms who won’t shelter her child from the Real World, my thinking has been challenged these days. Ah, the memories of our argument back in kindergarten over none of her shirts being short enough to merit the title of “belly.” Though we discussed the unlikelihood of hot pants being available in a size 6X, Gracie’s quite aware of the fake leather pants, glitter minis, and three-inch platforms taking over the children’s department. Somehow retailers gave up on “cute” and decided to sell clothes for little adults with a fabulous nightlife. Of course, with ten-year-olds having sex now, this all may seem appropriate to someone completely insane, but my reality has become damage control and attempting prevention. Perhaps we’ve become desensitized over the years and what used to shock us doesn’t faze us anymore, but these problems aren’t being wished away or dealt with. They need to be addressed. Children need grown-ups to believe in them more than ever—and we need to be grown-ups they can believe in. The heroes we had are long gone these days and, trust me, we still need Superman. Like I said, I used to be hip. It was important to me. But looking around at what the hip people have to offer my child, that’s the last thing I want to be. I’m into this new trend called hope.

    Shawn Marie Christenson, Minneapolis

  • Way Behind the Music

    Emily Goldberg’s childhood memories of the Twin Cities are profoundly blurry. Literally. Growing up on Long Island, she traveled regularly to Minneapolis with her family to visit Dr. Irving Shapiro, a friend of the family and an ophthalmologist. The Goldbergs would get their eyes checked by Dr. Shapiro. Goldberg remembers the doctor’s dilating drops; they gave her a somewhat hallucinogenic idea of what the place looked like.

    “Maybe Irv’s magic drops are why I moved here,” said Goldberg the other day. “I knew New York, Chicago, and Boston—but despite my time in Minnesota, I had no idea what the place looked like. It was almost like I had to move here.” And she’s never left.

    In the intervening years, Goldberg became a documentary filmmaker, with an international reputation for her unique vision. The loudest hosannas have come for her most recent work, Venus of Mars. A documentary about the Minneapolis glam-rock band All the Pretty Horses, it debuted last November at the Amsterdam International Film Festival. That was followed by noted appearances in Greece, Romania, and Spain. Later this month, it will screen in New Zealand.

    Goldberg earned her chops as a producer at Twin Cities Public Television. She thought it would take about eighteen months to make Venus. When she finished, it was almost four years later. “If I knew then how long it would take, I might not have done it,” she said. She is not a natural self-promoter; sitting in her Lowry Hill apartment, the most she would say about herself was that “people have always told me I’m a good listener.”

    Venus partly follows the typical pattern of a Behind the Music episode, asking the straightforward question, “Will this particular band make it?” But the focus of the film is the band’s singer, Steve Grandell, and his wife, Lynette Reini-Grandell. They were high school sweethearts from Duluth who’ve now been married more than twenty years. Grandell was part of the Rifle Sport artist collective in the 1980s when he tied the knot with Reini. Today, she is a tenured English professor at Normandale Community College who also hosts KFAI’s “Write On Radio,” an author interview show.
    Here’s where the story gets tricky: Five years into their relationship, Grandell told his wife he wanted a sex change. The evolution of Steve, Lynette, their marriage, and the band was gradual, and took place years before Goldberg began filming. At various points along the way, Grandell decided he didn’t want “the operation,” but wanted to grow breasts by taking hormones. By the time the film begins, he has adopted the name “Venus,” and the hormone pills have done their work.

    Goldberg doesn’t sensationalize the story, and what emerges aren’t easy answers about the world of transgenderism, but hard questions about how any couple makes it over the long haul. Goldberg’s success is in showing that the hardest parts of the relationship aren’t the more spectacular differences between Lynette and Venus, but the usual frictions that plague even the most normal relationships. “Money,” Lynette says in the film, is what she and Venus fight about most.

    But as a heterosexual married to a transgendered person—someone literally living between two sexes—wasn’t Professor Reini-Grandell afraid of being diced on film? “We felt Emily’s empathy the moment she started filming,” Lynette said.

    Last year, Goldberg was walking the streets of Manhattan when she had a fleeting thought. “Why don’t I live here? Isn’t this where it’s happening?” Then she came to her senses. “If I’m in New York and Irv Shapiro is in Minneapolis,” she said, laughing, “I wouldn’t know where to get my eyes checked.”—Neal Karlen

  • The Demands of Biology

    Victory is especially sweet after so many defeats. Pete is going to be a father after working at it for almost two years. He was starting to get worried that he and Amanda weren’t going to be able to get pregnant. Amanda had gone to her doctor, and they had figured out that if they were having any trouble, it wasn’t down to her. So Pete had some concerns about his own virility. A couple of months ago, he called me and wanted to go out for a beer—just the two of us. I knew something was up.

    “I’m worried that I’ve got mutant sperm or something,” Pete said. “Or maybe they’re just lazy sperm. What if I don’t have any sperm at all?” I could certainly empathize with him. We’ve all done a lot of stupid things in our lives, having mostly to do with drugs, drink, and debauchery. How can a man in his late thirties today not be worried that he hasn’t done some genetic damage along the way?

    We tend to dismiss the shrill moral cops of our parents’ generation; the old farts who claimed that pot would reduce your sperm count were the same old farts who said masturbating would make you go blind, right? In other words, we tended to believe exactly the opposite of what they told us.

    On the other hand, I seemed to recall that there was some hard science behind the claim that LSD, for example, could damage your DNA, and it was an intense and scary drug—the kind you could easily believe might screw up your genes. So, anyway, you can see how Pete was suddenly having second thoughts about the viability of becoming a father. Come to think of it, in all his years of sexual activity, he’d never had a close call with any of his girlfriends. (Despite the college drought that led to Maureen, the inflatable sex doll, Pete was no slouch.)

    But what if Amanda got pregnant with some mutant sperm and they had a six-fingered baby? Pete was beginning to get very nervous. Eventually, after they’d been trying for ten months, he had to deal with the inevitable: a sperm test.

    Now, Pete and Amanda had also been discussing options for a worst-case scenario. There was a whole battery of procedures, from the fairly simple (like artificial insemination) to the expensive and complicated (like in-vitro fertilization). Amanda felt strongly about being a mother, and she was adamant about wanting to adopt if it turned out that they could not be biological parents. “There are thousands of kids who need good parents out there. We want to be parents. Why wouldn’t we adopt?” she asked, reasonably.

    Pete was embarrassed to admit that he didn’t think he wanted to be a parent if he couldn’t be the biological father. In fact, he was afraid to tell Amanda this, but he told me. I think I understood where he was coming from, and it seemed important to at least understand his point of view. Maybe it’s a selfish and ugly feeling. But then again, these days we’re all about honoring our biology and the imperatives of the physical body. Is there a more pressing imperative than to reproduce? Should we think less of Pete because this imperative seemed to be more literally biological than social or moral—i.e., if he couldn’t father a child, he didn’t want to be a dad? Needless to say, things would be so much less complicated, emotionally speaking, if he and Amanda could just get pregnant the natural way.

    So, with these muddled feelings, Pete set off for the fertility clinic, ready to donate some sperm to find out if he had any, and if they were normal or if they were swimming in lysergic circles. Amanda had to work that day, so Pete went alone. When Amanda wanted to know how Pete had managed to perform his duty at the clinic, Pete told the truth: He had been provided with and used a dirty magazine. Amanda went ballistic and called the clinic, but when she started to chastise the nurse on the other end of the line, she was cut off mid-sentence. The nurse told her to “grow up”—and then hung up on her. Amanda was speechless. Though Pete would never tell his wife this, he counted it a small victory for Neanderthal Man, who seems to need the occasional visual stimulant, especially considering how hard it is to get in the mood at a fertility clinic. Why is porn okay for the fertility doctor’s office, but nowhere else? It’s a moot point with Amanda and Pete, now that they’re pregnant.

  • Expatriot Act

    There are few things the Irish enjoy more than a decent pint or an English football team falling from grace ungracefully. Having both at once, now you’ve hit the jackpot. This month, the more worldly local sports bars—or at least Hibernian pubs with DirecTV—will provide dozens of opportunities to tickle the fancy of an Irishman.

    Since 1960, Europe’s finest footballing nations have gathered to contest the European Cup. In a pre-arranged location, they do battle in front of thousands in the stadium, and millions in the sports bars. There was a time when Europeans were a bit more barbaric about their entertainment—Christian-munching lions, public head-chopping—but modern football is no less passionate as a way of settling old scores.

    The English are fond of saying they invented football. Their contribution since then has not yet been matched. One hundred and fifty years after a pig’s bladder was kicked unceremoniously through the streets of the “empire,” the former colonialists are still struggling to evolve from the “kick and riot” style of the late nineteenth century.

    This year’s Euro Cup host nation is Portugal. Since they are playing at home, they’ll be expected to excel. Other superpowers such as Italy, Holland, Spain, Germany, and France (the current champions—mon dieu!) will have their own parochial crosses to bear. Frosh Latvia is just happy to get an invite to the party. Russia is always strong, yet their outdated red kit could be replaced; purple would better symbolize the choking affliction that seems to manifest itself each time they reach a tournament. Likewise with the Danish and Swedish sides, which carry on the tradition of just being cannon fodder. The Greeks have discovered that looking to their past glories is not only painful to the neck muscles, but counter to world domination. Still, they will be satisfied with winning one game, then returning home to get the advertising boards together for the Olympics. Making up the numbers are Croatia, Bulgaria, the Czech Republic, and Switzerland (who qualified at Ireland’s expense and had better bring enough Toblerone for everyone to maintain their neutral status).

    In the Twin Cities, the viewing ex-pat community has the opportunity to watch the drama unfold on a daily basis from June 12 until July 4. As the Emerald Isle has no representative, we Irish take up the mantle of ABE (Anyone but England) and can be counted upon to cheer raucously at each inevitable English failure on the field.

    Watching a football game in an Irish pub carries with it certain responsibilities. As most games are on at midday, a wide range of work-absent excuses or long lunch meetings will have to be created. On the daily menu, a side salad will accompany the main course of Guinness pints. Dessert will be a whopping England defeat or a small serving of dyspepsia, as the case may be. The alternative to viewing the games in an Irish pub is to stay at home and pay a subscription fee to a satellite company. This, though, is comparable to watching church on TV, that is, without a congregation. Communal faith brings much more than group prayer. With Guinness on the menu, we can all sing from the same hymn sheet.

    Russians, Greeks, and Spaniards can mix freely, chat courteously, and exchange pleasantries pre-match. However, when the game kicks off, all European Union alliances are tossed like a haggis at the Highland games. Patriotism reaches new heights. Defeat plumbs unprecedented lows.—John Cosgrove