Scenes From A Marriage

I apologize for the mess, Reverend, but I wasn’t expecting company. Things have gone to hell around here since Delmar moved into that old pop-up camper out back –says he got tired of captivity, as if that filthy camper he bought on eBay is anything but an even smaller cage.

That’s the thing about Delmar, of course; he never gets tired of captivity. The man can’t get enough of it. If you threw him out in the middle of the wilderness he’d curl up in a ball and starve to death before he even needed a shave.

I remember one time when we were still dating we went driving in the country just outside of town –I’ll never forget this, Reverend, not for as long as I live. There wasn’t nothing out there but gravel roads and fields and silos, and Delmar turns and says to me, “I get the creeps if I can see too far.”

Seeing too far was never gonna be a problem for poor Delmar, of course.

I always did know there was something just slightly off about that man, but I guess I took some small comfort in that ‘just slightly’ part. By now, though, it’s pretty clear there’s not a damn thing just slightly about it.

Everything’s gotta be whole hog with Delmar. He couldn’t just live with the crazy notion that he’s a woman trapped in a man’s body; no, sir, he’s bound and determined he’s going to go right ahead and become a woman.

Yet even that’s apparently not enough to make Delmar happy; you’d think it would be, but no, of course it’s not. Now Delmar is insisting he’s got to be a woman with big tits.

Good heavens. In a town like this? I can only imagine what people must be saying, and I don’t think I even need to tell you, Reverend, that the man sitting out there in that camper in one of my old house dresses is not the man I thought I was marrying.