The Rake Magazine

Year: 2007

  • The New Dehli Star Tribune?

    The following circulated through the Star Tribune newsroom last Friday on its way to Gov. Pawlenty:

    Dear Guild members,

    You might be interested in this description of how Star Tribune management is treating our brothers and sisters in the Advertising Operations Department.

    There will be more information on this soon.

    Respectfully,
    Unit officers

    Dear Governor Pawlenty:
    My name is Mike Blazek, I am the Business Representative for the Graphic
    Communications Conference of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters
    Local 1-M. We represent a newly organized group of Art Directors, Production
    Artists, and Designers at the Minneapolis Star Tribune Newspaper. For the
    past two years we have been working at negotiating an inaugural contract for
    these 32 men and women.

    One hour before our negotiations this past Tuesday, April 10th, we were
    blindsided by Helen Wainwright’s (VP of Human Resources and Labor
    Management) annoncement that the Star is pursuing bids from three companies
    to “outsource” this groups’ work to India, and that we would be doing
    effects bargaining for the expected 25 jobs to be lost, starting in June of
    this year.
    This comes after several months of highly contested debate over jurisdiction
    of this group’s work; affects ONLY the newly organized group, and takes
    place in the immediate wake of New Ownership (from outside the state of
    Minnesota) who has been in question as to what their plans are for the
    Minneapolis newspaper.

    This is not a “done deal” yet, but when your three options from the
    publisher on the table are: Accept the company proposal as given, Give $500
    000 in concessions to keep the jobs, or Bargain to legal impasse and have
    the Publisher implement their proposal anyway, it becomes very obvious just
    what this is and where this is going.
    These people’s jobs are the more high end positions that our president has
    insisited will be staying in this country. Now, here we are faced with the
    threat of losing 25 more jobs from our state of Minnesota to the country of
    India, and why? That is the real question here!

    I am asking you on behalf of all the potentially affected employees of the
    Minneapolis Star Tribune to investigate this matter and to do your utmost as
    Governor to put a stop to this.
    Governor Pawlenty, this is the Minneapolis Star Tribune……do you want it
    to be the New Dehli Star Tribune?!
    I am sending a copy of this letter to both Senators Coleman and Klobuchar in
    the hopes that they may also be able to intervene and stop this dispicable
    act.

    Thank You for your attention to this most serious of matters,

    Mike Blazek
    Business Representative
    Local 1-M
    651-645-0833 ext 14

  • Ouch, That Smarts…

    Take another kick at my heart.

    Or as Tom Kelly would say: Oh my.

    It must have something to do with cosmic vibrations or something. Joe Nathan can take comfort in the fact that Mariano Rivera blew his own first save today, on a two-out, three-run walk-off homer to Oakland’s Marco Scutaro, who in this lifetime is a light-hitting utility player. In a past life, however, he was a notoriously unscrupulous bookkeeper who died in jail for embezzling money from the Medici.

    Also, did you see Kyle Lohse’s line against the Cubs today? Eight innings, four hits, twelve strikeouts and a walk. A very good Johan Santana start, in other words. The other ex-Twins in the same game –Juan Castro and Jacque Jones– didn’t fare quite as well; they were a combined 0-7. There was a classic Jacque flashback in the sixth, when, with runners on first and third and nobody out, he struck out flailing on an outside breaking ball.

    Good to know Kyle was paying attention when he was wearing a Minnesota uniform.

  • Hey, Tampa Bay Devil Rays: You've Been Ponsoned!

    Damn straight!

    There’s not much finer than seeing the Twins’ offense living as large as its starting pitcher, and when that starting pitcher is Big Sid, brothers and sisters, that is very large indeed. Large and in charge, and very, very greasy. The guy allowed eleven base runners in five-and-a-third innings yet surrendered only two runs. That’s pitching! That is sheer craftiness! The appreciative home crowd rewarded Siddhartha with a well-deserved standing ovation when he left the mound.

    Almost as entertaining as the performance of the Twins tonight was watching the beer league baserunning and defense of the Devil Rays. That would be a mighty tough team to root for, would it not? But, you know, also sort of fun in a sadomasochistic sort of way.

    Seriously, though, has there ever been a reason to cheer for Tampa Bay (all right, maybe Aubrey Huff, maybe Rocco Baldelli –nah)? The franchise has been around, what? Ten years? The career victories leader is Victor Zambrano with 35. The team has never had a guy win 20 games. They’ve never even had a guy win 15 games (Rolano Arrojo won 14 in 1998). The Rays managed to win 70 games one year; they finished in fifth place in the East in eight of their first nine seasons –that 70-win season under Lou Pinella bumped them up to fourth in 2004. They play in a warehouse that makes the Dome look like Ebbets Field, and some of the larger Old Country Buffets in Tampa draw better crowds.

    Still –what the hell?– this train wreck of a baseball team managed to beat Johan Santana one night and lose to Sidney Ponson the next.

    Baseball’s a beautiful game.

  • The Three-Pointer: Casey-Wittman Comparison

    Game #79, Home Game #40– San Antonio 110, Minnesota 91

    1. Wittman is Without Defense

    We are now 79 games into the season–40 of them coached by Dwane Casey, 39 by Randy Wittman. I suppose we could wait until after Sunday in Golden State to make an exact, 40-40 comparison of the two coaches, but with KG out and the team in full tank mode, these next few games aren’t really going to tell us anything about anybody. Everyone just wants it to be over.

    Thanks to Wolves stat guru Paul Swanson, I have the breakdown on team performance under the two coaches, and what is interesting in many cases is the similarity of the numbers. Kevin Garnett, for example, averaged 22.1 points, 12.7 rebounds and 4.3 assists in 39:12 per game under Casey, and 22.8, 12.9, and 4.0 in 39:38 under Wittman. Per 48 minutes, KG numbers under the two coaches were exactly the same in steals and turnovers, .4 apart in assists, .1 away in rebounds, and .6 apart in points. That’s reliability. About the only thing that is revealing there is how quickly Wittman reneged on his pledge not to play guys extended minutes–he rode Garnett and Davis slightly more than did Casey.

    But there is one stat that jumps off the page: Team Defense. Under Casey, the Wolves permitted just 96.7 points per game; under Wittman, that swells to an unsightly 101.4, a huge 4.6 point differential that swallowed the measly .4 bump in offense under Wittman (from 95.6 to 96 ppg). One reason for that is the Wolves played a more wide-open game under Wittman, attempting 95 more treys–more than two per game–than they did under Casey. Meanwhile, Wolves opponents shot 198 more three-pointers in 39 games coached by Wittman than they did in the 40 coached by Casey, and made a higher percentage (.353 to .346).

    Well, maybe that was because the Wolves were packing the paint down low to discourage penetration and to box out for rebounds? Nope. Opponents shot a better two-point FG% versus Wittman’s Wolves (.495) than Casey’s (.483) and reversed the advantage the Wolves had on the boards under Casey. Rebounds per game declined just a titch under Wittman (from 48.8 to 48) but the opponents’ rebounding total went way up (from 46.8 under Casey to 50.5 under Wittman). Minnesota also registered 50 more blocks under Casey (more than one per game) than they did under Wittman.

    Not all the “fundamentals” have been worse under Wittman–turnovers are down with Wittman on the sidelines–but I think it is fair to say that when your squad sacrifices that many more points while getting beaten more regularly both on the perimeter and in the paint, without getting a commensurate bump on the offensive end due to a higher tempo or something, than the team simply isn’t playing as well. That could mean less intelligently and/or less energetically–I would argue both. Remember, this is almost exactly the same personnel, except that Casey didn’t have the benefit of the then-injured Rashad McCants.

    Sure, there are some mitigating factors: Mark Blount decided to mail in the rest of the season after the All Star break, and for the past month or so, the team certainly appears to be trying not to have its most synergistic combos on the floor in order to keep its draft pick. But Wittman controls Blount’s minutes, and hasn’t really cut them very much compared to Casey. As for the “tanking with vets,” well, Casey never really was embraced by this franchise–be it Taylor or McHale or KG–the way Wittman was, and is. And those are the folks who created the sorry mess that has provoked this tanking. McHale initially wanted to hire PJ from SA; Casey originally wanted to hang on to Roy, not Foye. Neither one got their way. One would hope, if nothing else, that McHale and Wittman are at least on the same page. Because the next housecleaning–sooner rather than later would be nice–should be very very thorough.

    2. More Fun With Numbers
    Another way to look at the Casey-Wittman figures is as a progression throughout the season. In other words, regardless of who was in charge, did the rooks develop during the course of the season? Did the vets tank? Did anybody flourish or wither?

    The good news is that Randy Foye slowly but surely became a classically more effective point guard in the second half, and under Wittman. Under Casey, Foye’s totals per-48 minutes were 5.3 assists and 4.3 turnovers. Under Wittman they were 6.4 assists and 3.3 turnovers, a much better ratio (his point total declined negligibly under Wittman, from 21.4 to 20.4). Smith’s points went up a bit, from 18.5 to 19.4 under Wittman, but his rebounds per 48 declined from 13.5 to 12.2. In the other categories (assists, steals, turnovers per 48) he was marginally more effective under Casey than under Wittman, but that just may be because he tired a bit, or was better scouted or adjusted to, in the 3+ more minutes per game he got under Wittman.

    One player who took a big hit in minutes was Hassell, who went from an average 32:03 under Casey to 26:25 under Wittman, which helps explain the more porous defense. Mike James experienced a more severe decline, from 29:06 under Casey to 21:38 under Wittman. Yet the lost time didn’t affect James that much during the time he did play–he averaged 19.1 points and 7.2 assists per 48 under Wittman and 19.2 points and 6.5 assists under Wittman. Hassell’s rebounds went down slightly under Wittman, but his scoring per 48 remained almost exactly the same (from 11.3 to 11.2).

    3. The Tank Race
    For those still interested in the gory details of Friday’s blowout, the Wolves got blasted late in the first quarter and it lasted through to halftime, turning a tie game with 3:44 to play in the first into a 16-point halftime deficit. Mike James looked mahvalous, nailing 10-14 FG and posting a superficially impressive 23 points in just 26:31, which would have given him at least 30 with a typical starter’s 32-38 minutes played. Of course he also would have been even worse than the -17 he registered on the popcornmachine.net calibrations, meaning the Wolves were just -2 in the 21:29 he sat down. Wittman knows this–that defense and ball movement (James had just 2 dimes) also count for something–but continues to go with the vets. Thus, the worse plus/minus according to the popcorn was Mark Blount at -19, followed closely by Ricky Davis at -18 and James at -17: See a pattern here? The hustle guys, the fundamental guys, like Mark Madsen (+7 in 18:26) and Rashad McCants (zero in 21:39) fared a little better.

    There will be no Three-Pointer after the Golden State game Sunday. I’m still trying to decide whether to bother with any after Denver or Memphis, or simply to start previewing playoff series. I’m solciiting opinions on which you’d prefer.

    On a final, positive note, Seattle and Portland play each other tonight, meaning that one or the other will match Minnesota’s 32-win total. Gentleman, start your coin flips.

  • What I Have Learned, What I Am Trying To Learn

    forgiveyou.jpg

    to be a discoverer you hold close whatever

    you find, and after a while you decide

    what it is. Then, secure in where you have been,

    you turn to the open sea and let go.


    —William Stafford, from “Security”

    What you cannot hang onto you must let go of –that is the principle on which I operate, on my way to the sea.

    —William Maxwell, “What You Can’t Hang Onto”

    Be kind.

    Keep it in front of you.

    Let it come to you.

    Where there is not enough faith, there is lack of good faith.

    Listen up.

    Keep your eyes open.

    Count your blessings.

    Pay attention to what the moon’s up to.

    Hold out hope.

    Give joy its proper expression.

    Don’t just stand there, do something.

    Mix it up.

    Raise your voice.

    Speak your mind.

    Try to say what you mean.

    Stand by your words.

    Shut your fucking mouth.

    Don’t talk with your mouth full.

    Risk everything.

    Hit it where it’s pitched.

    Hit it where they they ain’t.

    Take one for the team.

    Be there.

    Eat something.

    Don’t be afraid of the merge.

    Signal your intentions.

    Play by whatever rules make some moral sense; disregard the others.

    Earn respect, and give it where it’s earned.

    Go to your station.

    Stay in touch.

    Call your mother.

    Question your motives.

    Change your mind.

    Answer the phone.

    Do not hesitate to show kindness to strangers, etc.

    Don’t keep score.

    Hold things close.

    Let things go.

    Wait your turn.

    Seize your moment.

    Be gracious.

    You can’t take it with you.

    This is it.

    Enough is enough.

  • A Spot Of Tough Luck, And That's That

    So Johan Santana’s 24-game unbeaten streak at the Dome comes to an end at the hands of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. I figured it was going to happen one of these nights. Actually, I figured it was going to happen tonight. It’s a law of averages thing, and it also happens to be Friday the 13th.

    I’m a superstitious guy, and all day I didn’t have a good feeling about Johan’s chances tonight. He didn’t pitch poorly, which is small consolation, and the Twins didn’t exactly swing the bats for him –again, small consolation– but it’s pretty meaningless in the ultimate scheme of things. I expect Johan’s got plenty of astonishments remaining in that left arm of his, and I also expect that one of these days the Twins are gonna put up some seriously crooked numbers. Solo home runs from the MVP aren’t going to be worth a whole lot unless they’re consistently of the walk-off variety.

    No, I think what we need to see in the next week or so are some games where the Twins bat around and blow things open early and give their pitching staff a little breathing room.

    That would be encouraging.

    I’ll tell you what I really don’t want to see: I don’t want to see Roger Clemens come out of retirement for the umpteenth time to sign with whatever team –and understand that in this situation you’re using that term very loosely– throws the most cash (and use of private jets and all manner of other ridiculous perks and allowances) at him. I say enough of this bullshit. It seriously shouldn’t be allowed. I don’t care how good you are, if you want to play Major League Baseball you make a commitment and go through spring training and play the damn game wire-to-wire. You comport yourself like a team player, and get treated like everybody else in the game. These aren’t the days of barnstorming teams, for shit sake. This is Major League Baseball. A guy shouldn’t be allowed to sit on the sidelines for the first month or two of the season angling for the best opportunity. It’s a joke, and if Bud Selig had any stones at all (and we’ve had ample evidence that he does not) he’d put the kabosh on it.

    My only hope is that one of these times when Clemens comes back –hopefully this time– he’ll get rocked so hard and so consistently that he’ll make Lefty Carlton’s last couple years look like a graceful curtain call.

  • Singleton v. Ridder: Absolutely Breathtaking

    Unlike your average legal filing, the complaint Dean Singleton’s Media News Group has dropped on Par Ridder and Avista Capital Partners is a damned good read. Maybe that’s because Singleton has hired a former Star Tribune reporter, Dan Oberdorfer, to bring the case against the new owners and operators of his old paper.

    The complaint is full of semi-farcical imagery and loaded phraseology, entirely appropriate for telling a story as tawdry and squalid as this, but also remarkable considering the family pedigrees of the people involved. The picture of Ridder “scheming” (a word actually used in the filing), is so tacky and disreputable, not to mention clumsy, that you half expect to read something about a frowsy blonde and a Vegas hotel key.

    A couple personal favorites: I like the part where the PiPress demands Ridder return an external hard drive containing vital, proprietary information. Ridder claims he can’t find it so … he sends over … a NEW EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE. As though Ridder later had a moment where he slaps his head and says, “Oh, you wanted what was ON the external hard drive! Well, why didn’t you say so?”

    Also good is the part where Ridder agrees not to take any PiPress executives with him, but then claims to have thought that that only applied to the precise day he left … not two whole business days later for chrissakes.

    Or wait. One more: Par downloads SIXTEEN spreadsheets and … allegedly … claims he did so only to show his new Strib staff how he
    likes his financial info formatted. Riiiiight.

    It goes on and on … and on. In fact it goes on so long and in such reputation-slurring detail it takes your breath away. I mean, corporate titans and the pampered sons of corporate titans are not supposed to behave this way in plain view of the masses. Maybe a thunderous hail of legalese between executive suites, with bland official-speak for public consumption, but nothing like Dean Singleton, back in the PiPress newsroom (again) Thursday — (lot of miles on the corporate jet, Dean-o) — saying, “In Par’s world he could get away with anything he wanted to because Daddy always took care of that. Well, it’s too late for that now.”

    As for the real, competitive value of whatever information Ridder may have brought with him, a former PiPress salesperson argues that it actually does add up to something. Some of us have glibly dismissed the idea that PiPress ad contracts could possibly contain anything a sharp Star Tribune account executive couldn’t easily surmise. But no.

    The former PiPresser paints a picture of at least a year of ruthless rate-cutting by the Strib for big contract advertisers, like Denny Hecker, for example. In cases like that, the Strib would love to know exactly what the PiPress has countered-offered, and for how long. And it’s not just big advertisers. The Strib would obviously also like to know the details of accounts with small, localized advertisers in all those PiPress regional editions.

    A couple hecklers have mocked my instantly-obsolete Grand Unifying Conspiracy Theory, (see previous post), which I put up maybe 30 minutes before Singleton sued Ridder. This was the theory where Ridder going to the Strib was in preparation for Singleton moving in in a couple years as the logical buyer after Avista has harvested its profits and wants an orderly out of a dead-end business like newspapers.

    So OK, on the face of it that theory doesn’t look, uh, “operative”, what with Singleton calling Ridder a spoiled Daddy’s boy.

    But … continue to pay attention to Grand Unifying Conspiracy Theory II. The part about Daddy Ridder and other cash-rich Ridders, with their Minnesota connections, possibly already holding an interest in Avista. Under this alternative theory, part of Singleton’s unusually personal indignation might come from realizing the Ridders have tried to play him for a chump.

    In another facet of the story, Jack Sullivan, the PiPress newsroom’s union chairman, says Singleton assured the staff yesterday that the cost of this suit — with clocks already running at two firms — will not be assessed against the PiPress. (I’d like that in writing, if I could.)

    Sullivan also says he sent PiPress publisher Fred Mott a letter this past Tuesday — before the suit was announced — requesting that Mott share with the union proof that Ridder and Avista have destroyed any and all information related to salaries and other employment data of PiPress newsroom personnel.

  • A Weekend of Many Voices and Oddities

    FILM
    New Voices in Native Media

    as.gifOne of the beauties of Minnesota is its rich Native American culture — a culture not confined to pow-wows and beadwork, but permeating every part of our daily existence. This weekend we have a unique opportunity to explore Native voices in film. New Voices in Native Media honors youth and new filmmakers. Head out tonight for the mini-film festival’s opening reception, talk to the filmmakers and their families, and then enjoy two days of short films, videos, and animations.

    Opening Reception Friday from 6-7 p.m., Screenings Friday and Saturday from 7-9 p.m., Center for Independent Artists, Instituto de Cultrua Y Educacion, 4137 Bloomington Ave. South, 612-724-8392; free.

    Iddy Biddy Film Festival

    iddybiddy.jpgIf you’re up for some more short films and animations from all over the world, head on over to the the Iddy Biddy Film Festival on Saturday. This Adamantine Arts presentation features 10-second to 10-minute films and music by Kill the Vultures, Night in the Box, and Small Towns Burn a Little Slower.

    Saturday at 7 p.m., Suburban World Theatre, 3022 Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis, 612-822-9000; $8.

    MULTIMEDIA ART
    Korean American Memories of the Korean War

    spp_sigimage.jpgLearn about the ever-present (and much-neglected) impact of the Korean War. Saturday is the Minnesota opening of Still Present Pasts — a multimedia exhibit exploring the legacies of the Korean War. Based on Ramsay Liem’s Korean American Memories of the Korean War Oral History Project, the exhibit reveals multiple legacies of the war that influence individual, family, and community life, to this day. Saturday’s program features a brief introduction by Ramsey Liem, a brief history by Ji Yeon Yuh, Chang Mi dancers, Shinparam (drummers), and poetry readings by Ed Bok Lee, Walter K. Lew, and Sun Yung Shin.

    Saturday at 7 p.m., Intermedia Arts, 2822 Lyndale Ave. S., Minneapolis, 612-871-4444.

    Two Exhibits Come to an End

    Tnagle20.jpgThis weekend is your last chance to see both the Stella Ebner and Larry Hofmann exhibits at the Groveland Gallery, and the David Lefkowitz exhibit at Thomas Barry Fine Arts. Stella Ebner’s domestic-themed woodcuts “echo the matter of everyday existence, the true flowers and landscape of our lived urban hours.” Meanwhile, Larry Hofmann’s transfigured trees and slightly Martian landscapes “invite you to step out of the paper-and-telephone world and imagine that you have different eyes.” David Lefkowitz puts down the sculpting tools for a while and returns to painting with “oil-painted hybrids of electric-cord kudzu and tropical lianas, limned in an overheated nineteenth-century botanical style. The theme here is the hybrid: How is humanness changing the visible world? What kind of animals are we? How does transformation start, and where does it go?”

    Groveland Gallery, 25 Groveland Terrace, Minneapolis; 612-377-7800. Thomas Barry Fine Arts, 530 Third St. N., Minneapolis; 612-338-3656.

    Images of Dylan

    dylan_sm.jpgCalling all Dylan fans! On Sunday, two photographers who helped solidify Bob Dylan’s identity during the early part of his career — from 1962 to 1965 — will be sharing their work and discussing Dylan’s image as part of his complete body of work. John Cohen and Daniel Kramer are responsible for some of the most popular Dylan images, including the Huck-Finn-hatted Dylan we’ve all grown so fond of, and album covers such as Highway 61 Revisited and Bringing It All Back Home.

    Sunday at 2 p.m., Weisman Art Museum, 333 East River Road, Minneapolis, 612-625-9495; $8 ($4 members/seniors/students).

    THEATER AND PERFORMANCE
    Weekend of Women

    JoanOfArc4web.jpgThe Bryant Lake Bowl is honoring women this weekend with a number of shows. The Second Coming of Joan of Arc, presented on Friday by the 20% Theatre Company, tells their interpretation of Saint Joan of Arc’s life. She was anorexic. She was a teenage runaway. She had an incestuous, alcoholic father. She was in love with a woman. She fought for her right to wear men’s clothes. She led an army. She saved France. And still, she was burned. Oh, and her name wasn’t even Joan. On Saturday and Sunday, see The Flower Shop Project’s Preferred By Discreet Women Everywhere, a story of three women stuck in a public restroom in Minneapolis. And also on Saturday, catch Eos Productions’ Women Stand Up! Comedy Cabaret!.

    Bryant Lake Bowl Cabaret, 810 West Lake St., Minneapolis, 612-825-3737; check prices.

    ADVENTURES
    A True Crime Evening of Music, Art and Mystery

    susan_oval_small.gifBack about twenty years ago (Has it really been that long?), pre-packaged murder mystery games became extremely popular. For about $50 you would buy a box that contained everything you needed. Then you simply mailed out the invitations (included in the box, of course) with instructions for the guests on what to wear and how to act according to their characters. Finally, everyone would meet for a thematic night of adventure, play out their characters, and follow a series of steps to solve the murder. Well, in all honesty, I have no idea if this is what’s in store for Saturday’s big fundraiser at the Soo Visual Arts Center, but it’s weird enough to spark some interest. In an effort to raise money for an odd documentary film about dolls used for crime scene investigation, local documentary filmmaker Susan Marks invites you to solve a murder mystery inspired by one the doll crime scenes featured in her next film. Our Wildest Dreams: A True Crime Evening of Music, Art and Mystery also includes a silent art auction, door prizes, drinks and music by Luke Zimmerman.

    Saturday at 7 p.m., Soo Visual Arts Center, 2640 Lyndale Ave. S., Minneapolis, 612-386-6694; $20 ($15 advance).

    READINGS
    What Light

    In April of 2006, mnartists.org launched a weekly online poetry series, What Light: This Week’s Poem during National Poetry Month. Poet and critic Lightsey Darst and mnartists.org editor Ann Klefstad coordinated the series, posting a new poem every Monday on mnartists.org and magersandquinn.com, along with a profile of the poet. Now, after a very successful run, some of these poems have come to life in print form with the release of What Light: A Poetry Anthology. Join mnartists.org, Magers & Quinn Booksellers, and some of the 27 featured Minnesota poets for a book launch party and reading on Sunday.

    Sunday at 5 p.m., Lucia’s Bakery, 1432 W. 31st St, Minneapolis, 612-825-1572.

    BOOKS
    A Hilarious and Desperate Story

    brendan.jpgDid you happen to read Year of the Ice? Maybe you took a creative writing class at the Loft, or even at Emerson. No matter. If you haven’t yet been introduced to local author Brian Malloy, tonight’s the night. Go hear him discuss his new novel Brendan Wolf. Like his previous novel, this one is also set in Minneapolis. And much like his previous novel, this one unveils a dark and complex story with heart-breaking characters. His novels are very honest and real, always highlighting the complexities of human relationships and self-exploration. Malloy will sign copies of his book following the discussion.

    Friday at 6:30 p.m., University of Minnesota Bookstore, Coffman Memorial Union, 300 Washington Ave. SE, Minneapolis; free.

    FASHION
    Have You Had Enough Yet?

    etoile copy.jpgOk. I already mentioned this — and so has every other publication in this city — but this is Voltage Fashion Weekend, so be sure to head out to participating boutiques to meet designers and purchase items from their fabulous collections. Also on the slate for fashion lovers tonight is the l’étoile magazine Spring/Summer issue release party. Celebrate the release of the biannual fashion and art book, enjoy a special preview, win prizes, and dance to the music of Attitude City, Karl Doreza, and Molotov Cocktails.

    Friday at 8 p.m., Suburban World Theatre, 3022 Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis, 612-822-9000; $8.

  • A Thing Of Strange Beauty

    Here’s one of those situations where the way victories are handed out just isn’t fair. Pat Neshek, who found himself in a tough, tough spot (thank you, Juan Rincon) and kept the Twins in the game, should get that win, with an assist from Carl Crawford.

    Or what the hell: give the thing to Carlos Silva, who’s done nothing so far but make all those spring training critics (not this guy, though) look like complete idiots. The Jackal was clearly paying very close attention to Ramon Ortiz’s start last night.

    And people say it all the time, but it remains true at least a half dozen times a year: even if you waste entirely too much time watching baseball, you’re still guaranteed to see things you’ve never seen before, and I’m pretty damn sure I’ve never witnessed a 9-4-2-6 double play. Something like that’ll boggle your mind, and didn’t you just have the sense as soon as it unfolded that the game was over for Tampa Bay? I imagine everybody in that dugout said a silent prayer of gratitude that Lou Pinella is doing his suffering these days in a Cubs uniform.

    That Morneau walk-off shot was also something to behold. It looked like he hit that thing off the end of the bat, couldn’t really turn on the pitch at all, and still managed to muscle it out of the park.

    Isn’t a baseball season a fabulous thing? Those first two Yankee games already feel like ancient history.

  • Twins Stadium Scouting Report–David Brauer Guest Blog

    Hey folks,
    My friend David Brauer got a look at the new Twins stadium design and kindly shares his impressions…

    Twins Stadium Scouting Report
    by David Brauer

    This is NOT–repeat NOT–a definitive review of the new ballpark. Although I took my time perusing the sketches at the Hennepin County Government Center, the Twins were too cheap to make a 3-D model; and there were no distance-to-the-plate measurements to assess those upper-deck distances (which are always further away than you’re led to believe at new ballparks).

    First impressions: when you’re building your own ballpark PLEASE MAKE ALL THE SEATS FACE THE PLATE! If you look at the lower-deck seats down the line, they actually face the outfield. None are as bad as the Metrodome’s third-base-line seats–creating business for chiropractors for over a quarter-century–but, on the other hand, those Metrodome seats in the right field lower deck corner are actually BETTER situated. Seems to me they could’ve cocked those seats in a bit more and made everyone’s neck happy.

    Also, there’s more roof than I expected; depending on the sun angle, they look like nearly the entire first-base side won’t have to worry about sunburn. (Alternatively, you’ll want to sit down the third base side for those bracing April day games, if MLB is smart enough to schedule any next decade.)

    There’s beaucoup cantilever, and it looks to me like some of the seats at the top level of a section will be blocked by the overhang of the section above. (The lowest seats in left field seem suspicious that way.) Anyone who’s sat way up in Wrigley’s lower deck after they hung the private boxes knows what I’m talking about. To be fair, it’s possible viewing a fly from the outfield will not be as big a problem as viewing a fly from behind the plate.

    I’m intrigued by the broad, flat area right below the scoreboard, which is the roof of some enclosed seating (restaurant?) in centerfield above the batter’s eye; could this be the ballpark’s Wrigley-rooftop experience?

    Speaking of rooftops, the scoreboard is perfectly placed to block the
    rooftop view from Minikada Mini-Storage across 5th Street–which just
    happens to be owned by the same folks who own the ballpark land and forced Hennepin County to condemnation court. Guess Carl Pohlad and County Commissioners can spell F U.

    One of the more intriguing things I heard today is that the park will
    feature 21st-century knotholes–where you can view the action from 5th
    street without buying a ticket. You’ll have to contend with the multi-modal racket, however.

    The plaza, to be built above 6th Street, rises nearly as high as the
    towering 5th Street TAD parking ramp. You can hang out on most of it without a ticket, but there’s no Boog’s Barbecue-type thing in the drawings.

    Now that the votes have been cast, the architects have finally owned up to the fact the graceful Wells Fargo Center will be all but blocked by the cloddish 33 S. 6th Tower (once known as the Multifoods Tower.)

    I could only spot one real light standard–all the rest are cleverly tucked into the roof edge around the field. Thing looked like a hitter’s park to me–more of a HomerDome than the mis-moniker hung on the Metrodome.

    What do y’all think?