Number, Name—Identifiers; Description
0, Calm—Skin tone normal; Passive agreement, no apparent problems
1, Flap—Dirty looks cast Long periods of silence, punctuated by grunts
2, Squabble—Eyes narrow Widespread nitpicking, mild name-calling
3, Dust-up—Some color in the cheeks; Ungrounded accusations, small threat of physical contact
4, Spat—Clenched fists, jaw; Open name-calling, disagreement on facts
5, Row—Notable presence of spittle; Listening stops, continuous mutual belittlement
6, Fracas—High color in cheeks; Third parties get involved
7, Tussle—Some damage to hearing possible; Third parties and damned “peacemakers” begin to interfere
8, Kerfuffle—Personal space no longer observed; Local newspaper takes notice, credible threats of violence
9, Donnybrook—Stuttering; Punches thrown
10, Brawl—Eyes bugging; Legally actionable punches thrown
11, Melee—Head-butting; Stay away. Stay far away.
12, Republican Majority—Lifeless eyes, communication primarily through blogging; Loss of all respect for dissent, and non-fetal human life
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