Author: Ann Bauer

  • Pizza Via Text Message and U.S. Mail

    I recall sitting in a long, dull editorial meeting one Monday afternoon. It was around 4:30; a dozen writerly types, all disengaged. Our eyes were darting between our watches and the door. Then, the editor gave us the topic for our annual food issue: Best Pizza. Suddenly, everyone in the room perked up and had…

  • Long Day's Journey

    I’m an unreliable narrator. You should know this. Here are my flaws: I’m alternately delighted and devastated by other people (there is, for me, little middle ground); I look for meaning in everything I see, whether or not it exists; and I believe too fervently in my own ability to change circumstances, no matter what…

  • None Of Us Is There

    There is a peculiar poignancy in watching I’m Not There, Todd Haynes’ film based upon the life of Bob Dylan, in Minnesota. This is the home Dylan repudiated, along with his name, his family, and his faith. It’s long been a sore point for many here: that one of the greatest songwriters of our era…

  • A Perfect Holiday Pinot Noir

    I spend more time in the Byerly’s wine store than you might think. No, it doesn’t have the shop-on-the-corner charm of Hennepin-Lake or Solo Vino or Sam’s. It doesn’t have the breadth of Haskell’s or Surdyk’s. It isn’t dirt cheap like Costco, World Market, or Trader Joe’s. What it is is easy. It’s close to…

  • The Devil Knows About These People

    WARNING: Plot points revealed below– ***************************************************************** Don’t shoot heroin. Don’t screw your brother’s wife. Don’t steal from your parents. If you do, make sure they won’t be there.   Don’t embezzle from your company. Don’t squander your child support on cheap booze. Don’t whine, especially if you’re a guy. Pay some attention to the company…

  • Trash Can Turkey With White Wine

    It’s been my experience that people under stress generally respond in one of two ways: they either shut down, sleep more, become lethargic and gain weight; or they become frantic, insomniac, impossible to calm and they lose. I’m a loser. When my first husband left our family — out of frustration and addiction and through…