Author: Brad Zellar

  • Maybe? No, Not Maybe: The Best Pitcher In The Game

    You don’t believe me? All right, well then maybe you’ll believe William Shakespeare: Base men by his endowments are made great. —Richard II Get it? Base men. No shit, Sherlock (or Shylock). And then there’s this all-purpose taunt of opposing batters (useful for whenever The Great Santana takes the mound), from Love’s Labor’s Lost: Thou…

  • Desideratum

    The clock is ticking. The clock is always ticking, always tick-tick-ticking. The sun is burning, burning, burning. The moon is rising. The moon is rising. The moon is rising. The world is turning. This world is turning, turning, turning. Our hearts are yearning. Our hearts, our hearts, our hearts are yearning. The days get away…

  • Any Old Business?

    Did you see the All-Star Game home run derby? The derby itself was sort of a snooze –too drawn out, too much digressive commentary, too many commercial breaks– but it was the bullshit beforehand that really had me stomping around my living room and foaming at the mouth. I mean, seriously, doesn’t it chap your…

  • As Tom Kelly Would Say, Oh, My: Twin Bill In Chi-Town

    My, my. Mercy. Yowza. Goodness gracious. Good heavens. For heaven’s sake. For the love of Pete. Holy cow. Holy shit. 59 hits, 22 walks, 11 home runs, six errors, and 46 runs, in two freaking games. An American League contest in which the pitcher for the winning team was actually forced to bat –two times.…

  • Cold, Hard Reality In The Bronx

    Here are the facts, or at least some of them: the Twins lost five of seven games to a lousy Yankee team. And thus far, they’re 0-5 against the first-place Cleveland Indians. Kevin Slowey didn’t turn out to be the second coming of Francisco Liriano, or even quite the second coming of Brad Radke, circa…

  • Ouch, That Smarts: Sunday Night In The Motor City

    When Scott Baker pitches a game like that, dammit all to hell, you have to find a way to win. Hell, when anybody pitches a game like that for you, you have to find a way to win. The Twins have won eight of their last twelve, and just went in and won two of…