Author: Brad Zellar
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Don't Get Him Started
Show me a man who can’t trust, he used to say, and I’ll show you an untrustworthy man. It was lies that broke his spirit and drove him out of the arms of…what? America? The human community? The lies of culture and commerce, public and private lies, political lies –virulent dishonesty propagated by sociopaths, a…
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A Pointless Exercise, Uncompleted
To me, one of the great mysteries of 2006 was how Joe Mauer, a guy who had an on base percentage of .429, somehow managed to avoid scoring or driving in 100 runs. Three guys who hit behind him combined for 337 RBI (Morneau: 130; Cuddyer: 109; and Hunter: 98). Mauer had 86 runs scored…
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Wrong On So Many Levels
I know it’s all about money, but today’s decision to send Matt Garza to Rochester nonetheless stinks to high hell from a fan’s perspective. Someone tell me: how exactly is J.D. Durbin worth protecting? The guy is 25 years old and out of options. I say send him packing and if somebody else wants to…
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Not An Avenger, Not A Thief
Time is a sputtering lantern, a bruised child, a gray, flat-faced man with fists of concrete and legs like pistons. He has it in for dogs, which is one of his many cruel and inexplicable character traits. Misunderstood and misrepresented throughout history, gussied up and dumbed down, the snaggle-toothed bastard is frequently outfitted with wings…
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That's My (Fat) Boy
Damn, I love Sidney Ponson. I’ve always been a fan of the big man, and nobody was happier than I was to see the Twins swoop in and snag one of the huge Hot Stove League bargains, but after today’s stellar start (and –yeah, yeah– the Real Deal had to come in and blow up…
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I've Stayed In Worse Places
I can tell you from unfortunate personal experience the sort of thing you can expect if you allow yourself to fall under the spell of a poison toad. It’s not good, that’s for damn sure. You’d think, I suppose, that any reasonably intelligent person would know enough to steer clear of a poison toad that…