Brad Zellar Every day, every day I hear enough to fill a year of nights with wondering. –Denise Levertov, from “Every Day” Bring me all your dreams, You dreamer, Bring me all your Heart melodies That I may wrap them In a blue cloud-cloth Away from the too-rough fingers Of the world. —Langston Hughes, “The Dream Keeper”
Here’s the frustrating and telling thing about last night’s half-assed performance in Kansas City: Sure, the Twins scored just one run off Runelvys Hernandez, but it’s what they did –or didn’t do– when they weren’t scoring that one run that was so pathetic. Hernandez was making his first 2006 start, this after going 8-14 with … Read more
I know these things about my barber: He refers to his wife as “the battle-ax.” Or, alternately, as “the fucking battle-ax.” Though uncommonly foul-mouthed, even by my debased standards, his favored exclamation remains the sturdy and old-fashioned, “Oh, my stars!” The project of his old age is reading all thirteen volumes of the Lewis and … Read more
Sure, the Twins scored two runs against a lousy Royals team, but look on the bright side: Last year they would have given up three. Good news: The Twins are now 4-1 in one-run games. Bad news: They’ve now scored three or fewer runs ten times, and are 1-9 in those games. There, I’ve posted. … Read more
He wasn’t even sure anymore if he could jump, could get his fat ass off the ground. One more pathetic little milestone on his way down the drain. Still, he could always find consolations. There were people out there who couldn’t get out of bed, people for whom showering was an adventure worthy of Indiana … Read more
I was walking around New York this past weekend and I kept seeing cabs with these snazzy ESPN sports tickers scrolling across their roofs. I saw the Twins-White Sox score on one of the things late Friday night, and then saw what I thought was the same score Saturday night. I just assumed the information … Read more
I don’t know if there’s a manager in the Major Leagues that gets a blanket pass from his team’s fans. Maybe, you’d think, Joe Torre would, but anybody who’s ever spent any time in New York listening to sports talk radio (don’t ask) knows that every move Torre makes –and doesn’t make– is as scrutinized … Read more
That bottom of the tenth inning had to be one of great examples of karmic retribution in the history of professional baseball, and it sure as hell had to be exactly the sort of scenario Ron Gardenhire started dreaming about the moment he heard the news that J.C. Romero was no longer a Minnesota Twin. … Read more
So this fucking midget walks into a bar with a chimpanzee on his shoulders, right? It’s cold as shit, and both the midget and the monkey are covered with snow and frost; the chimp, in fact, looks almost like it could be dead. There’s not another soul in the bar but the blind bartender and … Read more
Maybe Rondell White is going to snap out of his slump in spectacular fashion any day now and reward the confidence Ron Gardenhire has shown in him by writing his name in the clean-up spot night after night. This is a guy, after all, with a career .289 batting average, who’s never hit lower than … Read more