Author: Chris Birt

  • An SUV?

    Ford is essentially a truck company. That is why in spite of calling 2005 “The Year of the Car” they could not muster much more than a reskinning of the Volvo 80 platform to create the unpowered, boring as butter Five Hundred Series (which have sold poorly). Sadly, Ford of Europe manufactures cars that people…

  • Ford Fairlane Rides again

    Yo, the namesake of this cinematic masterpiece has been resurrected. The “Fairlane” nameplate will return as a 2007 Ford SUV with sheet metal slicker than fistful of Alberto VO5. A word of caution to Ford, however, if the interior receives the typical tupperware treatment it will bomb like the Dice Man. (I’ll be sending you…

  • What would Vince drive?

    As a literate bunch, I believe there are few Rake readers that appreciate the fine fiction of Mr. Vince Flynn. He is THE new Tom Clancy and lives in the Twin Cities. This statement raises some issues (the literature part, that is). Obviously the key question is whether Tom Clancy writes for the big screen…

  • Mercedes Manure

    Alfred Krupp, the scion of the Krupp Arms Empire in the late 1800s (and Germany’s richest man) liked to sleep in the barn near a pile of fresh manure. He believed it was good for his health. Typical German eccentric. His story reminds me of the late 1980s Mercedes Benz. I recently drove a pristine…

  • Fabio vs. Bruce

    Gina seems a fine name for an Alfa Romeo. However, I drive a black Spider Veloce that goes by the name of “Fabio.” This car, like all my cars, was named for me. I am not sure that this name has ever hit the mark. I heard that Fabio was gay (after all these years!).…

  • Big (a meditation on the Mini Cooper)

    Little Big Car A journalist once asked Truman Capote after a hard days work just how many words he had committed to paper. “One,” said Capote. “After working all day, just one word?” asked the journalist. “Yes,” said Capote, “but it was the right word.” I may never be able to define a “Chick Car”…