The Rake Magazine

Author: Christy DeSmith

  • Consumerist Report

    I’m one of those crazy people who enjoys giving more so than
    getting. But that’s because I’m a total snob, not that I’m generous of spirit.
    I mean, I certainly appreciate the professional portrait of my nieces I get from my
    sister most years. But, geez, couldn’t she have at least tucked them inside some fancy frames? And there’s simply no way my mother can please with her annual assortment
    of Kohl’s-bought bedclothes. Not that I have anything against Kohl’s. What
    a great place to buy pots!

    So, you see the point: I’m no fun to buy for. But it’s very much fun, I would assert, to find your way onto auntie Christy’s shopping list. Me, I
    enjoy the thrill of the hunt, the self-satisfaction of knowing I’ll snag one-of-a-kind
    and/or designer items for all my loved ones, and they’ll never get the faintest
    whiff of the pittances paid to acquire these goodies. For these reasons, I’m
    much better at buying for adult women and style-conscious men. What follows is a
    sampler of the Christmas gifts I purchased over the weekend. (Note: This post is written
    in good faith that my loved ones don’t read this blog.)

    My best friend Andrea is a woman of letters. While perusing
    Letterbox, I found her this gorgeous (but very affordable) letters kit, replete
    with address labels and envelope stickers in the themes of birds, flowers,
    vines, and leaves. This version was designed by Suzanna LaGasa (a somewhat-celebrity
    graphic designer) for Sukie.

    Local Motion currently has an assortment of cutesy leather handbags
    and carryalls from this Canadian label, ESPE. I went in for this billfold for
    my brother’s style-conscious, teen-age daughter. It has universal appeal, don’t
    you think? And besides, it was a steal at just twenty-five dollars. Note: Local
    Motion hosts “Girls’ Night Out” this Thursday from four to nine p.m. Go for the free snacks
    and wine, if not for the sales.

    For the practical—one might say miserly—mother whose sole extravagance
    is buying Coach handbags off eBay: A pair of sleek Coach kicks. OK, I didn’t
    get the best deal on these sneaks. I found a cheaper pair at Off Fifth, but
    wanted to make sure mom could easily exchange if the size isn’t quite right, so
    I went to Macy’s.

     

    And while I was at it, I picked up some staples for myself. From
    the Len Druskin Outlet: I couldn’t pass by these leggings with snap
    details. Also, just yesterday afternoon, I stumbled upon the newly remade
    vintage store, Swank. I picked up the ‘70s socks (pictured above) as well as reams
    of vintage Santa-themed wrapping paper (left in boyfriend’s truck) for only
    five bucks. In fact, Swank is a great place to find cheap Christmas crap!

  • Black Friday Agenda

    I don’t mind shopping malls, really. But I intend to avoid
    them this Black Friday, not to stave off those bouts of claustrophobia, but to
    procure a series of gifts that are either high-quality second-hand or awfully,
    awfully special. Here’s the action plan (a working document):

    Roam (811 Glenwood Ave.) It’s the latest store to open on the burgeoning design
    corridor of Glenwood Avenue;
    you’ll find it next to Ligne Roset. Featured lines include Minneapolis’s own Blu Dot as well as some fantastic
    Scandinavian-designed minimalist wares, like those from Alessi.

    Fashion Avenue (4936 France Ave. S.) Actually, I was just there last weekend and spotted
    a half rack of vintage couture, like a gorgeous ‘60s-era emerald-green Yves
    Saint-Laurent     sweater. Of course, I can’t think of anyone on my list who might
    want such a thing. But I’ll be shopping with my mother; and FA is fertile
    ground for dropping hints.

    Letterbox (2741 Hennepin Ave.) Again, there’s nothing used to be found
    (unless you count recycled paper). However, this repository of fine stationery—the
    best in the cities, if you ask me—is conveniently located near my house. I plan
    to snag a few reams for the smart-ass chicks on my list; those crazy bitches just
    lurves fancy stationery. And I suppose I’ll pick up wrapping paper while I’m there, too.
    P.S. Letterbox will be serving free hot cocoa to all customers on Saturday and
    Sunday.

    Local Motion (2813 Hennepin Ave) Again, it’s right in the neighborhood, and I’ll
    be dropping more hints. Love those elbow-length leather gloves!

    ROBOTlove (
    2648 Lyndale Ave. S.) My lucky niece might be getting one of
    the locally-made plush dolls above. These are by a Minneapolis-based artist named Curster, or Erin Currie.

    Minnesota
    Center     for Book Arts     (1011 Washington Ave. S.) If
    they won’t let me buy a gift certificate, redeemable for one of their family-friendly
    book-making workshops, then I can at least pick up some supplies for the budding, ten-year-old
    author on my list.

  • Bethinking Butterball

    The theme was black and white this year. And let me tell you
    something, it is very, very difficult to do anything interesting with b&w—especially when you have autumn coloring, such as I do,
    and a closet full of earth tones.

    I couldn’t find my slip, so I pulled on three, count ‘em,
    three see-through black sheaths which, together, created a frothy (but opaque) ensemble.
    Even so, that outfit nearly put me to sleep. Or maybe it was the gratis
    martinis. Or maybe, just maa-aybe, it was the sight of forty-somethings
    swing-dancing to Soul Asylum. I kid you not, friends … The boyfriend turned to
    me at thist point and said, with a sigh: “God, that makes me feel old!” With
    this, we pushed forth, immersing ourselves in the sea of penguins and little
    black dresses, to find examples of black-and-white outfits we actually liked.

    As many of you know, the event was co-hosted by Dan Buettner
    and his g.f, Cheryl Tiegs. I didn’t spot the supermodel, but I have it on good
    authority that she wore something very similar to what the woman at left
    (above) is wearing. Doesn’t she look just darling?

    Tatting, my true love; I ended up stalking a couple of women
    in white, lacy dresses. This one happens to be married to punk poet, Paul Dickinson.
    (At left, below: Lucky guy!)

    Awash in a roomful of penguins until I spotted this guy (below), an artist named Drew Beson who made his own sweater. Just between
    you and me, he was awfully flirty.

    This woman (above) cheated a little—the back of her dress was
    actually made of gray, ribbed cotton. This accentuated her, uh, curves. And a
    hilarious scene unfolded: She was posed for some friends
    and, before you knew it, a gaggle of men descended with their own digital
    cameras. I decided to get in on the fun, too … Oh, and about that dress: It
    strikes me as rather brilliant that the front was bedecked in sequins, which are
    stiff and therefore forgiving along the lady’s amble tummy. (Not that this one needed
    such forgiveness.) At the same time, the cotton in the back accentuated what is
    beautiful and just about most women’s bodies—the round, shapely booty. I want one! I want one! (I
    meant the dress, silly.)

  • Chug-a-glutton

    So, I was cruising the fashion blog circuit earlier today
    when I happened upon a local writer (she shall remain link-less) who somehow
    seemed to sustain this incredibly luxurious, posh lifestyle. Day after day, the posts were about her sushi dinners, the diamond-encrusted electronics she had encountered, or a recent trip to the local furrier … Just another day in the
    life of TKTK—of whom, yes, I am somewhat jealous. But still, I couldn’t help
    but wonder: How long till so-and-so finds herself bankrupt, and with a BMI wa-aa-ay over 25. Not to hate on my fellow bloggers or anything.

    Anyhow, here are some teasers for upcoming hooks: I’m
    going to the Butterball on Saturday; this year, it’s in the theme of Truman Capote’s famous
    black-and-white party. And then, later next week, I intend to roll out the Keynesian
    economic model that, for me, will make Christmas possible this year.
    Stay tuned!

  • Be Kind: Go To Rewind

    Um, I hardly ever do this. But since I missed the big
    opening of the Gucci boutique at Nordstrom MOA last week, I figure I’d better slobber over some other local shop or other. Now, I assume that some of you, like me,
    are decidedly lacking in coin these days, and therefore cannot rationalize the
    purchase of a new GG bag. So, I’ve decided to take you to a shop that won’t
    unravel the billfold …

    Rewind is a vintage store on Johnson Street in Northeast
    Minneapolis    . Of course, this corner of the world is particularly tough to get
    to now that the 35W bridge is gone, especially if you’re coming from the
    Southside. But it’s worth the trek. I stopped in Tuesday night, and the first
    thing I spotted once inside: A slice of Uptown history.

     

    Schlampp’s Furs was a high-buck store in the Uptown Area
    that closed in, oh, I think it was sometime in the ’70s. (I don’t have my
    Uptown History book with me at the office today, but I’m pretty sure that’s
    where I acquired this hazy factoid). Now, here’s the cool thing: At stores vintage
    and consignment stores all over town, you will occasionally spot a beautiful 40s, 50s, or 60s-era Schlampp’s store-brand coat—and no, they’re not all fur. But they are extremely
    well-made. Last year, I picked up a 60s-era slate-blue wool one with big buttons and a
    flattering sash along the waistline. (But that wasn’t at Rewind. It was at
    Everyday People.) This one I’d like to buy for my mother.

    Note that Rewind favors looks from the 70s and 80s. For
    example, these killer boats …

    This knit Ella Moss dress I’d like to buy but, sadly, I
    implemented a Christmas gifts-only policy as of the first paycheck of November. Here’s a question, while I’m at it: Is it tacky to buy presents second-hand? I
    think not.

    Love this season’s over-sized sweaters, but choke every time
    you spy the associated price tags? Here’s a lovely vintage version, from Sears
    …

    Finally, check the selection of clutches. We love clutches
    and, yes, sadly, that has much to do with packing these teensy purses into the
    ginormous, back-breaking sacks we all lug around these days.

  • Hormel Girls

    After World War II, when most U.S. businesses emphasized hiring male war veterans, Hormel Foods hatched an unusual plan to employ women. Of course, these women tended to be less needy than attractive—not to mention talented. In fact, from 1947–53, a troupe of sixty female employees from the Austin-based company, known simply as the “Hormel Girls,” served both as door-to-door sales force and drum-and-bugle corps. The Girls are credited with doubling sales of their employer’s packaged foods, especially Spam, with such tactics as traveling stage shows, parades, and a weekly CBS Radio show in which product names were liberally dropped. The “Hormel Girls” make for fascinating history; but they’re likely to make even better musical theater.

    History Theatre, 30 E. Tenth St., St. Paul; 651-292-4323.

  • Zenon’s 25th Anniversary Fall Program

    It’s a big month for Zenon Dance Company. For one, they hop aboard the holiday treadmill with their premiere of The Nutcracker According to Mother Goose on December 15. But the company’s signature aesthetic—athleticism and precision, not to mention sophisticated musical tastes—will be better displayed a couple of weeks earlier, at its twenty-fifth anniversary program. Five works by Zenon’s favorite choreographers, including Danny Buraczeski, Doug Varone, and Wynn Fricke, are set to music by Marianne Faithfull, Steve Reich, and Jelly Roll Morton, to name but a few. The highlight is likely to be a reprise from Zenon’s Spring 2007 program: “Catching Her Tears (44°N, 93°W)” is a stark, abstracted meditation on loss from New York choreographer Colleen Thomas, who was inspired in part by the plight of a local friend (the title includes the coordinates of Minneapolis).

    Guthrie Theater, 818 South 2nd St., Minneapolis; 612-377-2224.

  • Marshalling George Moskal's Latest

    And this other thing: One of my fave local fashion photographers,
    Nic Marshall, just sent along these new portfolio pics. Local designer George
    Moskal     (also one of my faves) lent some of his latest looks for the occasion. I absolutely lurve
    the following fancy, gray brocade dress with roped belt. Actually, it’s the dress I first spotted at
    Eclecticoiffeur’s MNfashion Weekend runway show (see my half-assed photo of it here), and I’ve longed to wear it to a Christmas party ever
    since. Mr. Moskal, if you’re out there … Might you consider a loan?

    And finally, the beauty shot. I’ve always wanted freckles, too …

  • The Opposite of Beige

    Warning: In this post, you’ll have to wade through some sap
    before arriving at the payoff. This weekend I met my new mentee via the U of M’s
    school of journalism mentoring program. (I’m also on the school’s alumni board;
    do the warm-fuzzies never end?) Here’s what I love about mentoring: You give and
    you give, and then you get back more than you ever imagined. Already, my mentee
    has proven her self a person of impeccable tastes. She is a former Japanese
    language and literature major, so she happens to know oodles about Japanese
    culture. She told me about this cool, origami-inspired method of Japanese
    gift-wrapping     (which I intend to try this holiday season) and even referred me
    to this aptly named Japanese fashion magazine, FRUiTS. On a beige Minneapolis morning such
    as this, these pics of colorfully clad Tokyoites (see the gallery within) really
    hit the spot.

  • Case of the Missing Partygoers

    Hate to say it, but last night’s RetroRama was sort of a disappointment. Not only was there little to no cleavage, but there were also little to no people. Where were you, folks? (You were at the 10,000 Arts party, from what I hear.) Of course, the first RetroRama, in April, was such a raging success that perhaps our expectations were a wee unrealistic. And something else must be said: We have sciatica, which means we’re not having much fun right now. Still, it didn’t get past us that the MNHS folks went all out in
    preparation for last night. Once again, they erected a fabulous vintage
    clothing and accessories boutique with the help of folks from Succotash and Up
    Six    . There was also an on-site pulp bookstore courtesy of Midway Books – very handy! Booze and snack
    foods were readily available. There were even cigarette girls wandering the
    joint, although they only had the candy versions. Some impressive costumes
    turned out, too. Exhibit A:

     

    (Above) She certainly cultivated an air of menace, no? But then
    again, she co-owns Go Vintage (on Selby
    Avenue     in St.
    Paul    ) so she had something of a competitive advantage.

    Now, as for these next ladies: I followed them in through the front door. They
    didn’t exactly look as though torn from the cover of a pulp paperback, but I sure
    did enjoy their hats.

     

    (Below) I mentioned this guy in the Rakish Angle I wrote for the
    November issue. His name is Matt Schmidt; and he’s absolutely everywhere,
    always surrounded by beautiful women. His gangsta-style zipper hat was
    something to behold. Also, his date was rockin the femme fatale look, don’t ya
    think?

     

    And finally: As it happened, one of the few noteworthy men’s get-ups
    belonged to Dan Spock,
    Director of the History Center Museum.
    Please note: My Elph didn’t perform so well in the ambient light.