The Rake Magazine

Author: Christy DeSmith

  • The Vengeful Virgin

    “Low-cut gowns.” That’s all boyfriend had to read (in the ad copy) before agreeing to accompany me to RetroRama, the Minnesota Historical Society’s celebration of ’50s pulp. Does Minnesota have a particular connection to pulp, other than the impressive collection of titles now residing in the dusty basements of a few area bookstores? I guess we’ll
    soon find out. As for me, I’ve found inspiration in a few of Gil Brewer’s
    titles: Satan Is a Woman, Backwoods Tease, Nude on Thin Ice, and, of course, The Vengeful Virgin. Not to be a dead giveaway, but I’ll be there with my trusty sidekick, monsieur Elph, so as to keep all eyes on the glorious cleavage—plus, with any luck, a few dozen sweater girls, ruby-red lipstick, sparkling jewels, and at least one stiletto through some sucker’s heart. The fellas are supposed to wear fedoras and blah blah blah … There’ll also be dancing and a performance by the Lit 6 Project. For tips on what to wear, visit the Historical Society’s handy, little tutorial (halfway down the page).

    p.s. My good friend Adam Demers made the ad above—with the help of the artist Thomas Allen, but of course.

     

  • Shampoo or Carcinogenic Slop?

    Stacy Malkan, author of Not Just a Pretty Face, will be reading from her book at the U of M tomorrow evening. The effect, probably, will be a chorus of indignant gasps from a congregation of eco-conscious consumers. Malkan’s book chronicles all the harmful chemicals found in everyday cosmetics, like lead in our lipstick, coal tar in our shampoo, and dioxane in baby soap. What
    the … ?

    So long as it resides in Minneapolis any such forum must also include Horst Rechelbacher. (Other panelists include Jeanne Rizzo, RN; Jane Houlihan, V.P., Environmental Working Group and architect of the Skin Deep Cosmetics Database; and Lindsay Dahl, coordinator for the Minnesota Healthy Legacy Coalition.) Rechelbacher, of course, is founder of both Aveda and Intelligent Nutrients. I’m a fan of both product lines, even if my pocketbook mandates the occasional Suave purchase.

    Random aside: Some of my favorite local legends concern cash-strapped students at the Aveda Institute getting busted for using non-Aveda products. True story: My best friend from high school, who studied massage, was walking to class one day when a teacher approached and said scornfully: “Do I smell a synthetic fragrance on you?” She was kicked out for the rest of the day. You’d think that, for $20,000+ per year, she could have worn whatever the hell she wants. I recently asked my stylist, who also graduated from Aveda, whether these stories were true. Her response was an emphatic “yes!”

    Helpful aside: If you want to checkup on your favorite cosmetic, Rizzo’s database is quite helpful. As it turns out, my favorite face lotion, Neutrogena Original Formula Anti-Wrinkle Cream SPF 15 (with Retinol A), received a “moderate hazard” rating and includes ingredients linked to cancer and developmental/reproductive toxicity. Yikes! And who knew Neutrogena was still engaging in animal testing! Fooled again by another eco-feigny name, I suppose.

  • The New Standards Freshen Up the Classics

     

    Special thanks:
    Concept, productions, and styling by Janine Ersfeld
    Photography by Aaron Smith
    Art direction by Jessica Coulter and Kristin Harper
    Layout and design by Kristin Garcia
    Editorial by Christy DeSmith and Julie Caniglia
    Hair and makeup by Details Salon and Mimi Luberscheimer
    Men’s makeup by Leilani Baker
    Assistant to Ersfeld: Anne Parr
    Locations: Heimie’s Haberdashery and A Rebours

     

  • Man Bags

     

     

  • H&M/Roberto Cavalli: They Hate Us

    Snubbed again, dammit! I just called the H&M store at the
    Mall of America to double-check, but it looks like the retailer has decided to
    skip Minneapolis (yet again) when it launches its massclusive line of Roberto
    Cavalli     for H&M next week. Not that the line is covetable in the first
    place. (I mean, leopard prints on the cheap? Puhleeze.) But here’s what goads me: Minneapolitans
    might not have invented massclusivity, but we certainly popularized the notion
    of affordable design (our very own Target Corporation did, in any case). Don’t we at least deserve to see and touch the clothes? Alas, if a Twin Citian finds
    herself dying for a leopard print satin camisole with black, lacy trim, she’ll
    just have to trek to H&M on Michigan
    Avenue    . Of course, the clothes will be on eBay by
    November 9 (where Lagerfeld and Stella McCartney’s lines for H&M are still everpresent).

  • Gaviidae Commons: Where The Boys Are

    It’s nearly impossible to find a decent men’s jacket these
    days. Last weekend’s hunt yielded fashionable versions from Neiman Marcus (the
    $1,200 one by Etro, for example) and comparatively affordable options from Off
    Fifth     (a Valentino clearanced at $600). But alas, I am not paying for what boyfriend wears to
    little brother’s wedding this weekend (I bought my dress in July), so we
    pressed on in a hunt for bargain-basement prices. Next stop: The new Len
    Druskin     Man-Boy store which was full of hoodies, sneaks, and faux-vintage tees. Also at Gaviidae:
    Kuhlman, which is a fine, affordable place but not necessarily in alignment with
    boyfriend’s fratboy-hippie tastes.

     

    Funny thing is: Gaviidae ALMOST had its own haberdashery. The
    concept was being spearheaded by a veteran salesman of the Dayton’s/Marshall Field’s men’s department as
    well as another prominent local boutique owner. (Can you guess who?) But word
    has it that Gaviidae nixed the idea—and, along with that, an already-signed
    lease—once the folks at Len Druskin got sight of the store’s vendor list.

  • Rectangle Receipt

    Good news! The locally owned and operated Rectangle Designs just launched its online store. Check it out if you care to purchase T-shirts, dresses, and totes in flora-themed prints. This is the one that I purchased recently. The picture at left doesn’t exactly do the shirt justice (the problem with these longer tees is that you’ve got to pair them with fitted, flat-front pants – thus the proliferation of leggings), but it is quite flattering in real life. Also, it’s the only shirt stitched by Sarah Nassif, the brains behind these Rectangle operations. All the others are printed on American Apparel garments, which run quite small, if you ask me.

  • Fairytales: Who gives a damn?

    Thanks to Jezebel for steering me toward this gem: Wherein Josephine Cox, the 64-year-old British author of Atonement (among other things), wonders whether she harmed a generation of young women by perpetuating the myth of malehood. To which I respond: Hell, yes, you did! Although, for me, my notion of prince charming was shaped more by the movies than books. In fact, just last night, I asked the boyfriend (hunky, bluecollar, and a filthy mouth to boot) to fulfill one of my fantasies by pretending to be Humphrey Bogart. Anyhoo …

    Unlike Cox, I think the problem lies more in “finishing” than it does in looks. All our lives, women have been fielding messages, subtle or not so much, about social climbing via our mates (to marry a doctor!). Just last week I asked a girlfriend (mid 30s, attractive, climbing the corporate ladder at a global insurance company), about her “type.” Her response was that she is looking for a man who is SMARTER than she is. To which I responded: But there aren’t very many PEOPLE who are smarter than you. You’re pretty fuckin smart. And accomplished. So, here is what I think: As women become more and more fabulous (and compensated, educated, etc.) we’ve got to make peace with “dating down.” Of course, this shatters any hopes we might have about being devoted, stay-at-home mothers one day. With any luck, however, our ineloquent, uneducated, underemployed partners will at least help with the dishes.

    As for the teeth that Cox refers to in her piece: I suspect that they, too, were seen as a reflection of socioeconomic status – just another clue that this guy is a plebe.

  • Festival of Lies

    Art meets life in this informal, party-like performance replete with food and drink from the Cedar-Riverside area’s Tam-Tam’s African Restaurant, and a locally produced soundtrack of African music. But the main attraction is Congolese choreographer Faustin Linyekula and his troupe of dancers and actors,who move within a shifting installation of fluorescent light fixtures,electrical chords, and other detritus to communicate, with movement andspeech, stories both personal and political. The catch: Some of thesetales are true, some lies—Linyekula’s reflection on the collectiveamnesia that tends to plague citizens of a corrupt, turbulentnation—and it’s the audience’s job to discern the difference. Presentedby the Walker Art Center.

    8 p.m., Cedar Cultural Center, 416 Cedar Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-375-7600; $25.

  • Melancholy Play

    You heard it here first, folks: Sarah Ruhl is the hottest contemporary playwright in the country right now, andher work is particularly popular in Minneapolis. While Ruhl’s The Clean House continues at Mixed Blood (through November 18), 3 Sticks, a gem of a troupe, takes on Ruhl’s remarkable Melancholy Play. (There’s more on the horizon, including Ten Thousand Things’ production of Ruhl’s Eurydicein February.) This contemporary farce concerns Ruhl’s distinctionbetween depression and melancholy—the latter, she postures, can be abeautiful, even healthy, thing—but that’s not to say this is heavymaterial. After all, one character is so melancholic she turns into analmond. And the almond, as Ruhl writes in her notes for the play, isshaped the very same as the amygdala, the part of the human brain that processes emotion.

    7 p.m., Bryant Lake Bowl Theater, 810 W. Lake St., Minneapolis; 612-825-8949; $12-$15.