We grownups are very strange, indeed, and often fail to see what’s obvious, important, or interesting. So posits Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s classic tale of a world that’s best seen through the eyes of a child. We see Jeune Lune’s persistently youthful artistic director Dominique Serrand as something of a little prince himself–after all, he has been officially knighted by his French compatriots, and has a particular flair for flights of fancy; if last spring’s workshop production is any indication, le petit prince will inhabit a particularly lustrous vision of Saint-Exupery’s vast deserts and miniature planet-scapes. 105 First St. N., Minneapolis; 612-333-6200; www.jeunelune.org
Category: Article
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Anne Teresa de Keersmaeker: Once
Dance without music would fall pretty flat, but it seems that many modern choreographers are afraid to make bold choices in this area, lest it overshadow their own work. Not Anne Teresa de Keersmaeker. The last time the Belgian choreographer came to town, in 1999, she and her company worked with Steve Reich’s thunderous composition Drumming. This time Joan Baez is her muse; more specifically, songs from Joan Baez in Concert, Part Two, which takes turns both tender and outraged as Baez responds to the Vietnam War. The folk legend’s message is relevant all over again, and de Keersmaeker, in a solo performance, demonstrates why her own work has inspired a generation of artists. 612-375-7600; www.walkerart.org
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James McManus
Every Saturday, James McManus’ poker column appears in the New York Times. An odd gig, if you can get it–and even ten years ago, McManus, a novelist and teacher, would have been completely unqualified. However, in 1999 Harper’s magazine hired him to write about the World Series of Poker, and thus began his obsession with the strange world of high-stakes cards. In fact, when we first phoned McManus, he had to make sure we knew that “the rake” is a poker term (um, we did know).
But when he’s not peering over the shoulder of a card sharp, McManus has bigger concerns. After his oldest daughter was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes, he become a keen observer of the American health care system; in 2003, Harper’s sent him to the medical mecca in Minnesota whose patients include politicians, dignitaries, CEOs, and oil magnates from around the world–that is, the Mayo Clinic. McManus signed up for what may be the most thorough physical examination available anywhere. In his book Physical: An American Checkup, he shares what the rest of us are missing.
You got what is called the “Executive Physical” at the Mayo. Is it superior to the treatment the average patient gets?
No. It’s the exact same physical. I was sitting next to a senator, but we were sitting amongst ordinary Minnesota citizens. But for an extra three hundred dollars, the executive patients get scheduled very efficiently. The waiting in line, the six- or seven-hour gaps between appointments disappears. The theory is that some people’s time is more valuable than other people’s time. It’s very important to note that the fees from the executive program bring in money for medical research that benefits everyone.Outside of the clinic, what was your impression of Rochester?
You see a lot of sick children around town. It’s sobering to see them, especially if you’re up there with your own small children. It’s a big wake-up. I consider the Mayo one of the most beautiful things that humans have ever invented. Put aside the Mall of America and all the cathedrals; one of the most beautiful things that people can do is put together a great teaching hospital and help people who are sick.
Also, the Arab and Muslim presence was everywhere when I was there. I stayed at the Kahler Hotel, and they had a separate Middle Eastern menu and a huge number of Arab cable channels. But that’s changed; it’s no longer easy for Middle Eastern patients to come here for treatments. When the fact-checkers were going through my book, they called the hotel to verify the cable channels and menu, and they said they don’t have them anymore.Although you write about how your family history of heart problems haunts you, you seem to be almost more concerned by the same issues when they affect celebrities, particularly David Letterman.
Yeah, Letterman and Bill Clinton. When guys around my age have open-heart surgery–especially guys like Letterman, who runs every day–that really gives you pause. When he talked about what he went through, he saved lots of lives. When celebrities talk about their health, people pay attention in a different way than when their family members experience the same things.Did you make lasting changes in your lifestyle based on what your doctors told you?
I love these doctors and I deeply respect what they do, and I believed everything they told me about my health–but that doesn’t make it any easier if they tell you not to drink wine or eat pasta, or to get more exercise. I have managed to quit smoking; I haven’t had a cigarette since I was up there. But I still drink too much wine and eat too much dinner.After your physical, your book turns to the larger issues surrounding American health care. You’re clearly incensed by Bush’s decision on stem-cell research, and say that you’re getting ready to do “something rash” about it. What do you think ordinary citizens can do?
People make jokes that writing letters to congresspeople is ineffective, but right now, this issue is before Congress, and I think many, many congresspeople are teetering between a “yes” and a “no” on America moving forward on this research. It varies state by state. California is very supportive of it. Kansas is very antagonistic; their Senator Sam Brownback is in favor of putting people in prison if they pursue this research.And yet rapid progress is now being made in this area in South Korea. Do you think the administration is unnerved by the fact that stem cell research is moving forward where we can’t profit from it or be a part of any big cures?
If you base your policy on cynical, faith-based, narrow-minded constructions of the Bible, then it’s not going to make an impression. But enlightened people see that this research is actually advancing rapidly, that no one is cloning babies, and that new cell lines may give people brain or heart or nerve cells to repair damaged organs. That is astounding, and something everyone should want to help happen. -
First Avenue Nightclub, Minneapolis: The Bootlegs: Celebrating 35 Years, Volume I
You have to appreciate how the rock ‘n’ roll landmark at Seventh and First has witnessed a total transformation of its surroundings–Target Center, cheesy nightclubs, Block E, the freaking Hard Rock Cafe–while keeping the wrecking ball off its own hallowed but scummy walls. For a few weeks last year, it even looked as if First Avenue had hosted its final show. But it wasn’t going to go down so easily. Now the club is celebrating its thirty-fifth year of business with its first compilation CD of live cuts. So many indelible moments in music history have occurred at First Avenue that this collection barely scratches the surface, but the range of tracks by local heroes (the Suburbs, Husker Du, Trip Shakespeare, the Jayhawks, the Replacements) and visiting dignitaries (Jay Farrar, Ween, Patti Smith, Richard Thompson) remind us how lucky we are to live in such a great rock city.
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Mark Mothersbaugh
It seems like there are a number of rock icons these days who, if they haven’t burned out, haven’t really faded away, either. Take Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh. For one thing, the most influential of new wave bands never actually broke up; Devo toured again just this year. And Mothersbaugh is constantly working on new music, for film soundtracks (The Rugrats Movie, The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou), videos, and for his own amusement. When we talked with him, he was working on some music he didn’t expect anyone else would ever hear, and having a great time. But we didn’t call to chat him up about music; we wanted to hear about his upcoming Postcard Diaries show at the Ox-Op Gallery, which comprises diminutive artworks that he has produced daily for more than thirty years. We also imagine they’d pack quite nicely into a shirt pocket, should ever Mothersbaugh find himself en route to a desert isle. Here’s what else he’d tote along:
1. Blank paper, cardstock, 3 1/2″ x 5 1/4″ watercolor paper, and Japanese sumi fountain pens made by Pilot. I would definitely spend a lot of time on my art. It’s a response to everything that goes on around me. Although I’d be on that island, so things might be kind of quiet. One of my favorite art shows was by [Hawaii Five-O star] Jack Lord. Devo was playing in Hawaii and I walked into a hotel lobby that had three hundred of his paintings, and every single one of them was the exact same sunset and three palm trees. Each one was a little different, but they were the same landscape.
2. An iPod loaded with every Steve Reich album. I’d like to bring something that I didn’t write, and something that is three dimensional and allows me to walk in and out of my head.
3. Every Dick Tracy comic ever written. Chester Gould is the unparalleled master of black and white in Western art.
4. A collection of spare eyeglasses. The first time I went to the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans, when I was a little kid, I ran out into the water and lost my glasses–both times. I had to read my comic books about three inches from my face for the rest of the trip. Losing my glasses has been a lifelong fear.
5. One red Devo hat. You can use it for so many things: a cooking pot, a mold for bricks, a flotation device, a weapon, a boomerang, a container to protect small animals. In Devo, we used them to trap the orgone energy that normally humans lose out of the top of their heads. We used the hats to radiate it back down. It would trickle down upon us and make us stronger. We took those hats seriously and wore them seriously.Mark Mothersbaugh’s Postcard Diaries opens at Ox-Op Gallery on December 3. 1111 Washington Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-259-0085; www.ox-op.com
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In the Bleak Mid-Winter
Our century has been remarkably efficient in the manufacture of wastelands. In Uptown you can still experience the sort of passageways down which Mr. Eliot smelt steaks, but nowadays they seem to have almost a period charm. It is the same reading about the Algiers described by Albert Camus; the delicious colonial loucheness of the setting tends to put a pastel patina on the jolly old alienation. It won’t be long before someone turns L’Étranger into a colorful Hollywood costume drama—what price the inner life when Passage to India can become a parade of parasols and solar topees?
To be truly bleak, a landscape must be both familiar and fairly freshly created. The connoisseur might try standing at the entrance of Edinborough Park in midwinter and looking across the glass and concrete tundra of South Edina, all abandoned motorcars and dirty snow and the now-defunct cinderblock multiplex where you once saw flickering pictures of more colorful climes, some of them unspoilt (“Far Away is Close at Hand in Images of Elsewhere,” as the writing on the wall used to say as your train pulled out of Paddington Station, taking you from London to the good green meadows of the West Country).
But for sustained depression, try one of those self-storage places. Concealed in a dip, to avoid blotting the landscape too obviously, ranks of abandoned garages provide the perfect setting for the unsolvable crime at the center of a detective novel. In the alleys between them rattle the skeletons of last year’s leaves. Cryogenics comes to mind. The only people around are keeping warm in the office, and perhaps a bloke working on his vintage Chevy. As you leave, the automated voice that thanks you at the barrier appears to be that of the late Count Dracula.
It is warmer inside these small storage rooms than out in the alleys. One imagines them (for one has seen only one’s own) strewn with the remains of lives, things ugly in themselves (the hideous lampshades, the awful ornaments), which might once have meant something if someone had made them mean it—the gewgaw given as a Christmas joke. Here lies the Nachlass of the maiden aunt whose relations have never got round to sorting out her things; here men (it must surely be mostly men, because the women have the houses) hoard the keepsakes from failed marriages, furniture which no longer lends help or comfort because the couples who owned it are unable to forgive. And the cardboard boxes in which all this is kept give off the sweet but unmistakable smell of decay, as if the things inside were slowly losing the warmth they once acquired from being associated with human life, and are reverting to a mere mineral existence.
Such gloomy ruminations suggest the need for some concentrated sweetness to share with those you love this Christmas. Try liqueur glasses of a 2003 Muscat from Bonny Doon Vineyards in California; it is called Vin de Glaciere, and a small flask will cost you about eighteen dollars. There is a pleasant goldenness and a sweet nose, then, as you sip, a smooth velvety sensation of dried apricots and slight oiliness.
This is not sticky sweet wine; the taste reminds me of nothing so much as Setubal, a fortified wine from Portugal made from a different combination of Muscat grapes, which I favored as a dessert wine in my misspent youth. The Bonny Doon would make good dessert wine in the American sense of dessert—not fruit and nuts nibbled after the ladies have withdrawn to the drawing room in the eighteenth-century manner that so annoyed Virginia Woolf, but “afters”: mince pies, plum pudding, even something creamy like bread-and-butter pudding (with many plump golden raisins, known in England as sultanas from their resemblance to sultans’ wives) or a crème brulée.
Here is no false promise of spring, simply a level winter sweetness. Rabbie Burns walked by the original Bonnie Doon river near Ayr in Scotland and wondered why the birds could sing so sweetly when he was so weary, full of care, having lost his girl (though he seldom seemed to have any trouble finding another). If the bleakness is inside and not simply in the landscape, this Muscat taken as a cup of kindness might cheer things up. What sweeter music can we bring?
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Made For America
Why rent when you can own? At my neighborhood shop in Shanghai, well-ordered racks are full of the latest Hollywood releases, the Hollywood catalog dating back to the mid-1960s, and a middling selection of Chinese films and television series, most of which sell for between eighty-five cents and two bucks. The majority have English and Chinese subtitles, and all of them, of course, are pirated. On a recent visit, I slipped past a twentyish professional couple considering a boxed set of Desperate Housewives and greeted the store clerk. He’s a helpful guy—he once located a pirated copy of Martin Scorsese’s The Last Waltz for me—but when I pointed to a poster for Chen Kaige’s The Promise, a $35 million martial arts epic that is the most expensive film in Chinese history, and asked if he had it yet, he shook his head no.
Quality pirate copies of Chinese films often circulate in the weeks before an official theatrical release. But in the case of The Promise, which will begin screening internationally this month, unusual precautions have been taken to prevent piracy. “Wait until it is released in the theater,” the clerk said. “You’ll be able to go and see it in English.”
Until recently, Chinese films in English were rare (and, if dubbed, unwanted—in my case, at least). But as Chinese art house filmmakers like Chen Kaige increasingly look to the U.S. for mass audiences and Hollywood-sized money, the option becomes common. China may be the world’s third most prolific filmmaking nation, but its total domestic box office in 2004 was less—by some hundred million dollars—than what Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith brought in on the first weekend of its U.S. release. Indeed, last year China made more money by exporting its films than it did by exhibiting them in its own theaters. Of course, filmmakers there have learned from their American colleagues (and studios) who’ve come to count on foreign box offices to salvage action-film bombs. But in China, foreign sales are essential, which is why in the past five years the country’s erstwhile art-house directors have turned out a host of lush, artsy, martial arts epics geared to please overseas audiences.
Ironically, though, “made for foreigners” is the blackest insult that can be directed at a Chinese film (or any other work of art, for that matter). To an extent, this is a combination of both pride and insecurity in Chinese culture as it opens to, and confronts, the West. The first group of Chinese directors to emerge after the Cultural Revolution was the so-called Fifth Generation, which was concerned with accurate depictions of rural Chinese life. Films such as Zhang Yimou’s Red Sorghum (1989) were quickly compared by foreign cineastes to the work of the Italian neo-realists of the 1940s and 1950s; however, unlike the neo-realists, the Fifth Generation directors never received a populist embrace in their home country. For example, Chen Kaige’s masterpiece, Farewell, My Concubine (1993), is still little known in China. Meanwhile, Zhang Yimou’s films were unpopular there (though this has changed with his recent international success), and heavily criticized for their unflattering portrayal of the Chinese countryside.
However, Fifth Generation films were generating critical raves on the international festival circuit and in art houses, and also doing serious business. Red Sorghum won the prestigious Golden Bear at the Berlin Film Festival, while Farewell, My Concubine is one of the most successful Chinese films ever released overseas. Yet as the art house filmmakers prospered internationally in the 1990s, China’s domestic film market shrank, overwhelmed by a flood of foreign films (particularly from Hong Kong and Taiwan) that were more technically proficient and entertaining than the country’s own. So Fifth Generation filmmakers focused even more on generating publicity and awards and thus winning audiences and revenues from abroad.
It was a risky strategy. Prior to 2000, the last Asian language film that was a major commercial success in the United States was Bruce Lee’s Enter the Dragon in 1973—and that was a Hong Kong production. Though most Americans refer to Hong Kong and China interchangeably, the two entities are linguistically, culturally, politically, and cinematically distinct. Known for their superbly choreographed action and fight scenes (as well as an irritating brand of slapstick), Hong Kong films have a highly developed visual style that continues to influence both Chinese and American cinema (The Matrix films were choreographed by a Hong Kong Chinese.) Chinese film, by comparison, is still in its youth, and remains a follower.
That may partly explain the Chinese public’s near-insatiable appetite for imperial martial arts epics. According to Xinhua, China’s state news agency, twenty percent of all Chinese television dramas in 2004 involved “Chinese legends,” and that’s not counting all the imperial martial arts sitcoms, feature films, and documentaries. More so than Westerns in the United States, the martial arts period piece—which involves emperors, lavish period costumes, and lots of kung fu—is a well-worn genre, and one that the Chinese see as very much theirs.
Enter Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Made by Taiwanese-American director Ang Lee (whose retrospective is currently screening at Walker Art Center) and released in 2000, it’s the most successful ”Chinese” film in history, having banked $213 million worldwide and $128 million in the U.S. Made in China with a Hong Kong and Chinese cast, the film appeared on the top ten list of virtually every critic in the U.S., landed ten Oscar nominations, and was declared a “Martial Masterpiece” by Time. In China, however, the reaction was nearly the inverse, with many critics dwelling upon the fact that the film’s story line was utterly hackneyed, even by the perpetually low standards of Chinese network television. Worse still, some of Lee’s Hong Kong cast spoke poor, heavily accented Mandarin that elicited derision in both theaters and reviews. Above all, Chinese critics, audiences, and even some directors seemed to resent the fact that someone from Taiwan—the island is considered a renegade province on the mainland—had profited from an overseas market by exploiting the most Chinese of genres.
Despite the critical scorn, a $128 million U.S. box office is pretty much impossible to ignore in a country where a $5 million domestic box office is respectable. So when Zhang Yimou came out with Hero in 2002, no one in China was surprised that he tailored it for the American audience thrilled by Crouching Tiger. Even more than that film, Hero relied upon the tropes and clichés of Chinese period television; and again, the enthusiasm of Americans for this film was greeted with confusion in China. When I saw the film on Christmas Eve in a Shanghai theater packed with families, there were plenty of moments in which the dialogue elicited groans and snickers. While American critics praised the film’s three-stage retelling of Emperor Qin’s planned assassination, their Chinese colleagues rolled their eyes—for audiences in the country, the tale was as profound as a ride into the sunset at the end of a Gunsmoke episode.
Zhang had also hired a Hong Kong fight choreographer and a sprawling team of foreign special effects artists whose credits range from Titanic to Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, while Hero’s U.S. distributor, Miramax, came up with a savvy marketing plan that included a “Quentin Tarantino Presents” tag and targeted both the art house audience and the action-loving cineplex crowd. The result was a $57 million gross in the U.S., helping to make Hero the most lucrative Chinese film ever. “One of Zhang Yimou’s main goals is to recapture the Chinese made film-market share,” said Zhang Weiping, who produced the director’s most recent martial arts epic, House of Flying Daggers (2004).
The inevitable accusations that Zhang had sold out may be fair, but the truth is that Chinese cinema sold out to foreign audiences long before Hero—and it did so only to sustain itself. From the beginning, the careers of Zhang Yimou and Chen Kaige have been defined by the need to please foreign critics and award committees, which often serve as gatekeepers for directors seeking access to the art-house screens; with their martial arts films they have merely shifted to another, more profitable genre. Hero and The Promise are no more meant for Chinese audiences than Red Sorghum and Farewell, My Concubine. At the least, unlike the gritty plot of Red Sorghum, the martial arts epics are actually representative of the sorts of stories that many Chinese like to watch in their spare time. Ironically, what is new and interesting in these films are the visual innovations that large budgets (and foreign box offices) make possible. The lush cinematography of Hero was unprecedented in the genre, as were its gorgeously choreographed fight scenes. Though I have yet to notice Chinese network television mimicking Hero, there is no question that the film has set a new visual standard in the genre, much as John Ford did for the Western.
Zhang Yimou recently confirmed that he is in pre-production on a contemporary comedy that will star Jackie Chan, the international kung fu/comedy superstar who is also a Hong Kong citizen. Several days after the announcement, Chan wrote in his blog, “When you watch Zhang Yimou’s Raise the Red Lantern … the most brilliant dialogue might become a YES or NO when translated into English.” Nevertheless, he is optimistic about prospects for genres of Chinese film other than martial arts epics. “If the worldwide audience starts[s] to learn Chinese due to their love of martial arts films,” he continued, “then they would not only appreciate martial arts films in the future, but can also appreciate Chinese dramas.”
With all respect to Jackie Chan, that seems doubtful. My DVD dealer says that the Chinese director most popular with his customers is Feng Xiaogang. He is largely unknown outside of China, because he has made a career (and a small fortune) writing and directing earthy comedies with distinctly Chinese humor. Last year’s domestic hit Cell Phone, for example, documented an illicit affair largely conducted via text messaging. Since text messaging is a national pastime, the film’s humor was so linguistically and culturally specific that even foreigners with vast experience speaking Chinese were simply unable to laugh along. It would be like screening Fargo, in English, for a fluent, English-speaking Shanghai audience.
Even without a foreign box office, Cell Phone grossed $6.3 million in China last year and was considered quite lucrative. But China’s most popular director of comedies seems to have become restless for a larger payout. Following Chen Kaige, Zhang Yimou, and Ang Lee down the martial arts path to riches, he secured $15 million in financing from Chinese and foreign investors to make The Night Banquet, a martial arts retelling of Hamlet—set in the Tang Dynasty’s imperial court.
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Busted and Disgusted
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People are talking about whether Rev. Randolph (Randy) Staten will run for his old seat representing North Minneapolis in the Minnesota House of Representatives. If he did, and won, he would become Minnesota’s version of former Washington mayor and convicted felon Marion Berry: a political player who went through a very public crash-and-burn, followed by a triumphant return to prominence. African-Americans are a forgiving group (just ask Bill Clinton), but would black Minnesotans re-elect a man who so publicly betrayed his community?
Staten was one of the first African-American recruits for the University of Minnesota’s football team in the early 1960s. After a cameo appearance in the National Football League, he returned to the Twin Cities and dabbled in Republican Party politics.
Then he found a home in the DFL and in 1980 became the state’s lone African-American legislator. Staten used his natural eloquence and visibility to push for programs to help his economically challenged district. Along the way, however, he made powerful enemies who were waiting to pounce on any misstep. Staten was soon tripping up all over the place. He faced criminal charges for writing eighty-two hundred dollars’ worth of bad checks to finance a drug habit. Then he was accused of filing late and incomplete campaign expense reports with the Minnesota Ethical Practices Board. After narrowly dodging expulsion, he became the first legislator in state history to be publicly censured. He eventually did jail time.
By the late 1980s, Staten found himself, in a phrase, “busted and disgusted.” He refused to fade off into oblivion, however, and instead took to heart advice from Broadway lyricist Dorothy Fields: “Pick yourself up. Dust yourself off. And start all over again.” Like other disgraced politicians before him, it was religion—more specifically, the black church—that provided a road map to redemption for Staten. He eventually became an ordained Baptist minister.
Since then, Rev. Staten has reconnected with many of the North Siders who once shunned him. He is now chairman of the Coalition of Black Churches and spokesman for the African American Leadership Summit. He led the successful fight to block David Jennings’ permanent appointment as superintendent of Minneapolis Public Schools. (Incidentally, Jennings, a former Republican speaker of the House, was one of Staten’s chief tormentors during his 1980s fall from grace.) The major local dailies regularly look to Staten for quotes, and even his detractors concede that he is extremely articulate and knows how to play a political crowd.
Booker Hodges believes that a run by the sixty-one-year-old Staten for his old House seat would be a huge mistake. “Randy’s time has passed,” said Hodges, who is a columnist for the Minneapolis Spokesman-Recorder and a member of the rising generation of North Minneapolis political leaders (he recently made an unsuccessful run for a seat on the Park Board). “It would open up a lot of old wounds. Many of us have not forgotten the shame he brought on our community. We need to bring up some young people—some new blood.” Hodges then went one step further. “Randy and the Coalition have follow-up problems, particularly on economic issues confronting our community. It’s easy to put up your hands, whoop and holler, and sing ‘We Shall Overcome.’ What has he done to help the brother in the street?”
There is no question that Staten has pulled off a Lazarus-like resurrection. Both Don Samuels and Natalie Johnson Lee courted his support in their battle for the Fifth Ward City Council seat. Certainly, one could understand why a Staten candidacy might appeal to some North Siders, especially those struggling to move past criminal convictions and/or overcome their own personal demons. However, while the number of those folks may be greater in House District 58B than other parts of the Twin Cities, they are still not the norm in that part of town. And, more important, they historically do not turn out in great numbers to vote.
Most of Staten’s past and future constituents are job-holding, tax-paying, drug-free, law-abiding citizens. Hodges is right—for many of these folks, the old wounds run very deep. They might be empathetic to Staten’s midlife religious conversion and be impressed with his political savvy, but still find it difficult to completely forgive him, or to trust him with one of the few reliably African-American seats in the Minnesota Legislature. Getting the solid core of 58B to give him another chance is probably a political miracle that even the resilient and charismatic Rev. Staten would be hard-pressed to pull off.
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A Working Christmas
Pat was my boss at the diner. I’d say she was around fifty years old, but I don’t know for sure. That’s just not the kind of question you ask your boss. Donnie the dishwasher was thirty-five, with the mental capacity of an adolescent. Then again, how many teens do you know who could work a forty-hour week and pay their bills on time?
I was seventeen when I started working there. The second shift, 3 p.m. to 11 p.m., meant no late nights and, more important, no early mornings. The diner was open twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year. On Christmas that year, we got our first real snow of the season. No accumulation, just swirly snow-globe snow. My walk to work that day seemed longer than usual because of the quiet. You’ve never known quiet until you’ve walked downtown St. Paul on Christmas Day. Actually, this wasn’t just downtown St. Paul Sunday quiet, this was a higher grade of silence, like the difference between gold and platinum. It was ominously beautiful, like an act of God or something. Like the Rapture. I could see the diner up ahead, glowing dimly in the snow, the Pancake House of Purgatory.
When I got there, Donnie was quartering chickens back at the prep table, singing and dancing and slipping around on chicken guts on the floor. I put on a clean apron and took my station behind the counter. It never dawned on me that Christmas might be dead on top of everything else. Pat slapped a Phillips screwdriver in my one hand and a bleach-soaked towel in the other. She said, “No way you’re gonna sit on your rear all day and moan, kiddo. We all got other places we’d rather be. You’re gonna take apart the pie case and scrub it down.” Three hours later, Donnie had moved on to chopping onions, I had the pie case put back together, Pat had the meat cooler sparkling, and we got our first customer.
Al Vanoni was a fat cab driver who always carried his own insulated coffee cup with him. That thing was about the size of an ice-cream bucket, suiting the scale of his body. If Vanoni tried to drink out of one of our coffee cups, he would have looked silly, like a fairy-tale giant. He came in wearing a Santa hat and ordered a double patty melt to go, on the double. “I’d love to stay and talk, but I got volleys all day between the senior high-rises and the suburbs.” When Vanoni went for the ketchup, he pounded his meaty hand on the bottom of the bottle, sending a fair-sized splat onto his patty melt, and a fair-sized one onto my pie case. Before he left, I saw him sneak a small brown paper bag to Pat.
Pat said I might as well order my shift meal as long as the grill was dirty, so she wouldn’t have to clean it twice. She yelled back to Donnie to do the same. Ten minutes later, she told us to have a seat in one of the back booths. “Today, we can eat like human beings at the table, at least.” I plugged the buck that Vanoni gave me into the tableside jukebox, and entered some Mitch Miller tunes.
Pat brought over three cups of coffee; when I sipped mine it turned out to be laced with Wild Turkey. I looked at her in surprise. She smiled. “Doncha know that Santa always comes on Christmas?”
Pat closed her eyes and bent her head to pray. I thought it was a joke at first, what with the whiskey and all. Donnie followed her lead. I looked down, but admit I kept my eyes open. I still heard the words.
“Heavenly Father, thank you for this day, and this good food.”
The whipped cream on Donnie’s sundae smelled wonderful as it melted into the waffle squares.
“Thank you for our families. At home, at work, and in Christ your son our savior.”
I looked from Pat’s strong face to Donnie’s earnest one, and I felt as close to them as anyone else in my life.
“Search our hearts, God, and please bless and keep us in the path of your everlasting light. Amen.”
In that instant, before either of them opened their eyes, I felt if God had searched my heart, he would have found it as spotless as the pie case. It felt new, and shiny.
In the past twenty years, I’ve had family Christmases and orphan Christmases. Work Christmases, hospital Christmases, Christmases when the tree fell down and the turkey caught fire, and Christmases when everything went just right.
My Christmas at the diner taught me that Christmas is transferable. The only responsibility you have to Christmas, wherever you are, whoever you’re with, wherever you’re headed, is to put it in a to-go box.
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A Tisket, A Tasket
There are happy gift baskets, and there are sad gift baskets. The sad ones are given by well-meaning souls who see shrink-wrapped fruit and think, “Oh joy!” Oftentimes these come year after year, stuffed with salamis and tissue paper, implying nothing other than, “Happy holidays, have a snack.” Worse yet is the revelation, upon stopping at the local gas station, that your basket was possibly purchased in conjunction with a car wash and a Slurpee. The happy gift baskets are usually hand-packed by the giver with specially selected items that the receiver will love, or that the giver wants to share. Where a sad basket would feature corporate cheese product encased in thick red wax, a happy basket might include a wedge of Roquefort that the giver knows is marvelous with your favorite Pinot Noir.
Mind you, it’s not about food snobbery—caviar isn’t the be-all, end-all among food gifts, especially for those of us who think it’s overrated. I dream of baskets that have a pedigree applied by the giver: a favorite maple syrup and a fantastic gingerbread pancake recipe. The saddest baskets come with no thought or care to the eater: Vegetarians get steak sauces; timid palates are overwhelmed by ethnically themed baskets. My favorite December pastime is to stroll through specialty markets, latte in hand, and discover a spice blend that would complement my sister’s elk steaks or the ideal dark chocolate for a friend who loves port. In truth, I hoard these little discoveries all year, waiting until the eating season is well under way to share my finds. I believe that the happiest baskets should imply, “Happy holidays, eat well, celebrate living.” So I’ve devoted this month’s column to the kinds of gems that I dream of getting (and possibly giving). These five items became my obsessions this year, and all are, in their own way, simply fabulous.
The newest one has me standing at my local cheese counter, advising complete strangers in an attempt to convert them to its pleasures. It’s not that difficult, either: Fiscalini San Joaquin Gold, a farmstead cheese created in California, isn’t a heavy, stinky cheese that only the brave will love; it’s semi-hard, with a lovely straw coloring and soft, buttery flavor. Because it is a farmstead cheese, you know that the Fiscalini family, which has been in business since 1914, controls the entire process; they care for the cows and personally process the milk to their standards of quality. The true beauty of this cheese is its versatility: It grates like a dream onto risotto, melts easily on rosemary crostini, and is tremendous eaten directly from the fridge.
If you feel that hot chocolate is reserved for children at sledding parties, skip this paragraph. If you understand that it was this beverage that caused the magnificent cocoa bean to make its first journey across the ocean from the New World, then come with me to breakfast in Madrid. It was there that I first tasted the way that this type of chocolate was intended to be enjoyed: gulp after gulp of warm, thick, creamy loveliness that made it impossible forevermore to even consider Swiss Miss. The generous people of Schokinag, a German company with nearly eighty years of expertise, have delighted my chocolate-loving heart with the introduction of their European Drinking Chocolate. Open the twelve-ounce tin and you will find tiny chips of chocolate—there’s a triple chocolate version that has both milk and dark chocolate chips dusted with cocoa powder, a white chocolate with natural vanilla, and a dazzling Moroccan Spice flavor. You simply melt five tablespoons of chips with a tablespoon of milk, and then add milk (along with cream or half and half, don’t be shy) to create the consistency that’s tastiest for you. You can find Schokinag at Whole Foods Market (where you might also pick up some hand-cut vanilla marshmallows, if you must) and at Chocolate Celeste.
I understand that processed sugar isn’t all that great for you, but I have never cottoned to sugar substitutes like Equal or Splenda. Beyond the commercial test-tube nature of their origins, they impart a metallic, chemical twang that does nothing to sate a sweet craving. However, since weighing 754 pounds is not on my list of lifetime goals, I have embraced agave nectar. Derived from the heart of the agave cactus, the sweet syrup has a low glycemic load, which means it doesn’t give you the blood-sugar rushes that processed sugar does. This translates into a healthier heart and trimmer figure. Agave’s mellow, honey-like flavor is actually sweeter than regular sugar, so you use about half as much. I’ve poured it on pancakes, mixed it in cocktails, made ice cream with it, and baked cookies that my little ones never suspected were “healthy.” Intelligent Nutrients in Minneapolis has its own brand, which can also be found at some Juut Salon Spa locations.
Along with the sweet, it’s always good to put something salty into your gift basket, too. Now, some scientists will tell you that salt is salt, NaCL is strictly NaCL, no matter where it’s harvested or what color it takes. And there are other people who will tell you that salt unlocks very subtle things about the universe, and that a red crystal from Hawaii carries a different notion of the ocean than a grayish cube from France. The magic held within this simple, elemental compound is one of my favorite earthly mysteries. While there are many fascinating salts around the globe, the most intriguing one for me lately is Balinese sea salt from Big Tree Farms. The crystals, made using an ancient week-long process involving saltwater, sand, and troughs made from palm trees, develop into miniscule hollow pyramids. The flavor is light and briny, but the crunch is the thing. For those who love to snatch a fingerful of the stuff here and there, this is the ultimate. Of course, you’ll also want to use it to adorn baked pretzels, scrambled eggs, or ice cream with caramel sauce (try it). Locally, Williams-Sonoma and the Kitchen Window are stocking boxes.
Finally, my love for peanut butter and mustard sandwiches may not be as odd as you think (cringe if you must, but I dare you to try it before you knock it). Look beyond the sugared-up jars of Jif in your cupboards, recognize the relation of ground nuts to pesto, and appreciate the tender balance of savory and sweet that can come from a good almond butter. Then the fact that nut butters are more than just a base for fruity preserves will not seem so surprising. Kettle Foods, of snack chip fame, makes an unsalted hazelnut butter that, if you let it, will expand your horizons. Yes, you can spread it on toasted bread or mix it into a cookie recipe, but you can also throw it in a pan with garlic, rosemary, and olive oil and then toss your pasta in it. Whisk it into a simple vinaigrette for a salad, or mix with honey mustard and smear over a pork roast—it will change how you look at ground nuts.
Remember that anyone can throw some cans and jars in a basket with some raffia to make a passable gift. But what does that say about you? I believe that food should be one of the most personal gifts you can give—after all, you are sharing your taste. In the end, if it’s the thought that counts, make sure it counts.
Open-Faced Sandwich With
Fiscalini San Joaquin Gold Cheese
The perfect quick lunch while wrapping gifts.
2 thick slices of crusty bread
Olive oil
2 slices prosciutto
2 slices and 2 tablespoons grated
Fiscalini San Joaquin Gold cheese
1 cup baby portobello mushrooms
2 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon chopped thyme
Brush one side of each bread slice with olive oil and top it with a slice of prosciutto and thick slice of cheese. Place on cooking sheet under a broiler for a few minutes or in a 250-degree oven for about 7 minutes or until cheese melts.
Meanwhile, melt butter in pan, and sauté mushrooms with thyme until dark and soft. Pile mushrooms on bread slices and sprinkle with grated cheese.