Category: Columns

  • Why can’t I be a “Super Lawyer?”

    Like Moses coming down from Sinai with the Ten Commandments hot from the hand of the Almighty, Minnesota Law & Politics publisher Bill White will soon give us another Minnesota “Super Lawyer” list. The chosen will be revered among lawyers (or at least that is what they will tell their clients to justify higher fees).…

  • Westering Home

    A lot of godly folk seem to forget that the Lord’s first miracle was turning water into wine. But it was a minister from the Western Isles of Scotland who pointed out that this was hardly remarkable. In his part of the world, he opined, the Good Lord turns water into whiskey every day. Of…

  • Industrial Strength Consumer

    Over the course of my life I have belonged to several fringe groups: The Lutheran Church, the Actors Guild, and the Depot Bar’s Wednesday night dart league to name a few. Membership has its privileges, whether it’s 25 cents off tap beers between nine and 11, full coverage on tooth capping, or salvation with a…

  • Pick that trash up, homeboy!

    Why does North Minneapolis, which boasts the Twin Cities’ highest concentration of black folk, appear to have the most trash on the ground? As a newcomer to the “North Side,” I have been shocked at the garbage strewn about my ’hood. When I complained to then Fifth Ward rep and Minneapolis Council President Jackie Cherryhomes…

  • If wine be the crime, then hang me

    Strong drink has a long association with immorality. There is an engraving of “Gin Lane” in 18th century London by William Hogarth (the artist also responsible for “The Rake’s Progress”) showing a sign: “Drunk for a penny, dead drunk for twopence, clean straw for nothing.” From the same period is “The Beggar’s Opera,” in which…

  • The Receding Bikini Line

    Listen up folks. Bathing suit season is upon us. We have very little time. As the temperature rises, the threat of exposure increases. Soon we will be obliged to reveal the acres of tender flesh we have been farming lo these past seven months. And ready or not, after Memorial Day, we will hit the…