Category: Food and Drink

One of my kids looked over the ice cream machine, as it was loudly cranking away, and hesitantly asked what flavor I was making. The answer didn’t please him and his reply was, “You never make normal ice cream anymore.”

I have become a mad alchemist in search of the perfect formula.

Chefs all over have been doing funky things with ice cream for a while, but I can’t abide lobster ice cream or cheese-steak sorbet. I’m all for savory elements, but they have to work with creamy sweetness. Emily Luchetti, pastry chef at Farallon in San Francisco, gets it. Her new book, A Passion for Ice Cream, is a beautiful beginning for the mad mad alchemist who needs to be pointed in the right direction.

Some of my successful ice cream flavors have been basil, pistachio cardamom, orange mint, cinnamon/cayenne chocolate, fig caramel, cucumber mint, and stout (Guinness). Non-winners have included zinfandel plum, cabernet black pepper, strawberry star anise, and wasabi peanut.

I can easily crank out a pint of vanilla or chocolate chocolate chip, which I probably should do more often for the sake of the family. But I can’t help feeling like something’s missing: garam masala, lavendar, salty caramel, something….

Stout Ice Cream
1 cup whole milk
1 cup hevy whipping cream
1 bottle stout beer (Guiness, Xingu, Oatmeal Stout)
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
6 egg yolks
1 cup sugar

Combine milk, cream, beer, and vanilla in a medium sauce pan, simmer over medium heat (do not let boil). In separate big bowl, mix egg yolks and sugar until you form a pale yellow paste.

When liquid mix is hot, pour little by little into the egg mixture while stirring constantly (we don’t want to scramble the eggs.) Once both are combined, pour back into the sauce pan and return to medium heat.

Stirring constantly, watch for the custard to thicken slightly, coating the back of your spoon. Immediately remove from heat and pour into a clean bowl. Let it cool to room temp, then process in ice cream maker according to instructions.

Because of the alcohol, it will take longer to freeze. Plan to stick it in the freezer for a while after processing.

Louis XIII in Southdale is dead. Closed.

The sign reads: Unfortunately, Louis XIII as a concept has failed and we’re forced to close our doors. We hope to open soon under a new concept.

Huh.

The “concept” has failed. We’re “forced” to close our doors. It’s really not our fault, we’re actually brilliant, it’s you people who don’t get it. Our will is to keep this smashing restaurant open, but against our will, it must close. Is that it?

Clearly it wasn’t due to overblown ego. No chance did it have anything to do with bad business sense (I believe he JUST hired a bookkeeper). And yet people keep throwing him money because he has “passion”?

I suggest a new note for the door: The king is dead. Sorry about the greed and about forgetting that a restaurant is a living, working world that feeds people, not just a “concept” to add to the press kit. Hopefully, if we can pull our heads out of our asses and think about food and people again, we might be able to promise AND deliver.

What if I take my kids to see Cars and they turn into NASCAR fans? I don’t want them to set up lawn chairs and coolers in front of the TV and start shouting “Don’t bogart the Cheese Whiz!”

I was afraid after Babe that we’d have to forego the piggies’ gift of bacon, but the DVD seems to have been scratched and mislaid.

The only kid-time foodies I can come up with: the French chef in Little Mermaid who sang “Le Poisson” whilst nearly chopping up Sebastian the crab, and Wallace who has my youngest waggling his fingers and proclaiming “Look, cheeeeese Grommit” every time we pass the brimming bin at Surdyk’s.

But there is a new hero on the horizon: Ratatouille. Next summer, Pixar will release the story of a rat in Paris who simply longs for the best food in the best food city on earth. Now that’s a rodent I can get behind.

Gather, ye friends! And look upon the pronto pups of our youth. Oh yea, it is the time of the fest.

June 15 Viola Gopher Count
Viola, MN. Besides the “famous grilled cheese hamburger” I’m betting there’s a lot of beer at this one.

June 17 SPAM Museum Jam 2006
Austin, MN. How can you beat SPAMburgers, the Smothers Brothers and the Hormel Jingle Singers all in one day? You just can’t.

June 22-24 Judy Garland Festival
Grand Rapids, MN. On Saturady morning, JG fans from all over the world will convene for breakfast with three of the original Munchkins from the Wizard of Oz. I wonder if there will be donuts?

June 23-25 Sauerkraut Days
Henderson, MN. Coming from a proud German heritage myself, I choose to reclaim the name Kraut, to own it as a symbol of spicy pride. To honor this personal act, I pledge to get my keester to Henderson where all the FREE sauerkraut will inevitably lead to an embarssing rendition of “I Will Survive” during the Wild Karaoke session. See ya there.

July 8-9 Dragon Festival
Phalen Park, St. Paul. If you’ve celebrated one Svenskarsdag you’ve celebrated them all. Come and check out a festival geared toward the “new heritage” of our cities. Dragon boats! Taiko drumming! Kite making! and all the yummy Asian goodies they imply.

July 13 Hot Dog Night
Luverne, MN. Get your dog on, for free. Starting at 6pm, over 11,000 free hot dogs will be gilled by the merchants of Luverne. Then watch the oddly hypnotic Wiener Dog races starting at 7pm.

July 22 Aebelskiver Days
Tyler, MN. I am a firm believer that all forms of pancakes deserve a day of their own. For the Danes, it’s all about the aebelskive, a tennis ball shaped pancake celebrated all over the Northland. Don’t forget to grab your official Ove the Nissamaend bobblehead doll!

August 4th Braham Pie Day
Braham, MN. The one day a year that the city of Braham doesn’t think about high school basketball is the day they celebrate the title of Homemade Pie Capital of Minnesota. I just wonder, with over 500 different kinds of homemade pies hanging around all day, does anyone make it to Mama Jennisch’s Spaghetti Supper?

August 25-26 Barnesville Potato Days
Barnesville, MN. If for one day you fall of your carb-hating wagon, make sure it’s one of the Barnesville Potato Days. Imagine the freedom of giving yourself total permission to enjoy potato pancakes, potato sausage, dumplings, rommegot, and potato chip cookies. Oh, and Friday is the free french fry feed. Ready, set, run!

People, this is a mere sampling of events happening all over our state. Explore Minnesota is a veritable Smorgasbrod of tasty events.

Rolling in my mouth,
the cherry stones remind me
of the girl I was.

I usually mistrust gimmicky food things. I don’t own an avocado slicer and I’ll never buy an adjustable hambuger press. But that doesn’t mean that, every once in a while, something super cool can’t be found.

I know that this week everyone is eating out at spectacular restaurants to help fight hunger, but think ahead to your next grill event and think Seasoned Skewers.

These sticks are amazing, I found them at Kitchen Window. They’re grilling sticks seasoned with flavors like citrus rosemary, garlic herb, honey bourbon and they actually work! All you do is thread your meat or veg of choice on the stick, let it sit and infuse for a few sips of your cocktail, then grill, bake or broil — your choice. I would soak the sicks in some white wine, beer or water before you grill, they’ll be less likely to burn.

Cynically, I thought there would probably be a hint of flavor, just at the center of the meat which touched the stick, but I was wrong. Our little chicken bites were pretty flavorful through and through, the fiesta flavor actually burned my tongue.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

It’s hard enough to find a good Ice Cream Social anymore, let alone an Ice Cream Social associated with a beautifully enigmatic water tower.

The familiar icon of the Prospect Park/East River Road neighborhood is locally referred to as The Witch’s Hat and Friday is its day of days.

One day a year the tower opens and admits the curious. We get just one chance to see the blooming cities from under the black peak. And in celebration there’s ice cream! And brats, and popcorn, and more ice cream! Don’t even get me started on the good luck of finding a Cupcake Walk among the games and festivities.

Once you’ve climbed the tower and milled around with neighborhood residents, seek out another gem of the area, Signature Cafe, and hold down a perfect patio table while plotting your own neighborhood Ice Cream Social.

By the way, that’s not me, that’s my Tummy-Double.

Yes, I read cookbooks from cover to cover, like a novel. Truly, I snuggle down into the couch with a big glass of wine and read them, skimming the recipes while conjuring events and parties that might support my new creations.

Now that June is upon us, I can justify purchasing a large quantity of books: It’s my summer reading/entertaining stockpile. Clearly I’ll be too busy poolside with my Pimm’s Cup to make it to the bookstore before people just start showing up and demanding food. So I hunt and gather.

It helps that the New York Times Sunday Book Review last week was their food issue. Tra la la!

I’ve pretty much read this one already while standing in Barnes & Noble. Hungry Planet: What the World Eats is magnetic. With pictures of global families surrounded by the food they eat, it draws you in and hooks your stomach to someone else’s half-way around the world.

I’ve also paged through The New American Cooking. I love how it shows the beautiful diversity of our culinary landscape.

I am so excited to read The Omnivore’s Dilemma. I truly think one of the most vexing questions in the universe is “What should we have for dinner?” This looks to be an insightful and interesting discussion of what we eat and why we eat it.

The Nasty Bits by Bourdain promises to be good. I like his writing more often than his television, but appreciate the raw attitude always.

The Reach of a Chef: Beyond the Kitchen. Filling out his chef-trilogy (Making of a Chef, Soul of a Chef) Ruhlman always manages to nail the fish to the table.

I Love Crab Cakes! because I love Tom Douglas!

I met this firecracker of a Japanese woman this past winter and now I can’t wait to swim through her book, Harumi’s Japanese Cooking.

I can’t take my eyes off it, I’m a complete rubber-necker for the world of competitive eating. So is Ryan Nerz as displayed with Eat This Book (not the Tyler “tough-chef-walking” Florence book).

A History of the World in 6 Glasses. Because everyone needs a signature drink, dahling.

The Brewmasters Table is on my list because sometimes there’s nothing that will cure a summer day like a Trappist Ale. But what to eat? Some may bemoan the lack of recipes, but I’m keen on taking his food/beer pairings and creating my own dishes.

It’s all about the Potato Salad.

This is sort of an anti-pasto potato salad.

This one is herby and light.

This one, made with french fries, won a Food Network contest.

Martha’s All American version.

Ach du lieber, wir essen Kartoffelsalat. Sehr gut, ja?

Well, Tiffani lost. Harold has been named Top Chef.

He’s going back to New York to open his own restaurant and I’m sure he will have investors and press knocking down his door. He’ll probably be successful, as long as he has a smart someone running his front-of-house.

But did he deserve the win?

In the final round, he took the safe route. His dishes were good, but they didn’t seem to WOW the guests while they were eating them. In fact they seemed to react to them more fondly during the panel discussion than they did during the actual tasting.

Tiffani took a bold route. She put out twice the preparations saddled with a hungover/drunk crew. In any normal situation, Dave and Stephen would have been sent home or fired. Her dishes were good and interesting. In contrast, people seemed to really like her food during the tasting, then during panel gave it a “meh”.

The choice had already been made. I knew that the show had chosen to villify Tiffani and make her out to be a baddie. I knew that meant that she was in danger of losing so that the show could “punish” her and let the popular kid win.

I’m just surprised that the panel took the safe route and didn’t see risk-taking and perseverance through serious adversity as more winsome qualities than average consistency. If Colicchio were competeing instead of judging, which route do you think he would have taken? If it were Keller vs. Colicchio, do you think either would have taken the safe route? They would have attempted to dazzle, and if they were as young as Tiffani, they might also have fallen short on some dishes. But that wouldn’t change who they are.

Shouldn’t the title of Top Chef speak more to whom they will become in the industry rather than how they failed or succeeded on a taste profile in one or two dishes? In Project Runway they always speak about the winner as the “next big designer”. The judges of Top Chef, it seems, were more concerned with their own abilities to judge food than they were about identifying a potentially serious player in the industry.

I know Tiffani will land on her feet, and I know in the end she will be more successful than jealous Leeann, untalented Miguel, or the fool Dave (who, with all his on camera eye-rolling antics, will probably never be welcomed in a serious professional kitchen).

I’m sure there will be another season. But if they choose to champion palatable mediocrity over spicy determination, I might as well make myself a mayonnaise sandwich and watch American Idol.