Category: Twins

  • Even A Giant Can't Turn No Little Village Into A Big City

    It’s pretty apparent by this time that there isn’t a single trade in the world that’s going to make any kind of significant difference in the Twins’ fortunes. And, sure, I remember the Shannon Stewart trade, but that was then and this is now. At the moment there isn’t one guy who could reinvigorate this…

  • Indeed, Yes, That Does Smart A Bit

    Indubitably that wasn’t precisely the performance any of us were pining to see from the local nine coming out of the All Star getaway. And, agreed, Bret Boone wasn’t quite the shot in the bum we all so desperately hoped he might be. And yes, yes, I did see that the Chicago lumbermen were victorious…

  • What The Hell Happened To That Baseball Team I Used To Love?

    Can we just start the All Star break now? Seriously, let’s go ahead and forfeit tomorrow’s game and give the boys an extra day’s rest. Go on and send Joe Nathan to Detroit, but keep Johan home. He needs some quiet time, maybe one of those spirit retreats the New Age hippies used to talk…

  • Uncle Jumbo's Playground

    –Illustration by James Dankert I’ve decided I’m not going to have squat to say about the Twins until they a) start scoring some stinking runs on a consistent basis; b) get some wins from somebody besides Joe Mays and Kyle Lohse; and c) get close enough to the White Sox that Shannon Stewart could hit…

  • A Couple Small Steps In The Right Direction

    It’s always nice when you’re scuffling to get some wins from the back end of your rotation. It would be even nicer at this point to see the Twins start putting together some big innings and throwing some crooked numbers on the board to give the pitching staff a little breather, but I’m not about…

  • Uncle Jumbo's Playground

    –Illustration by James Dankert Last night was a train wreck all around. I drove down to my old home town, Blooming Void, to attend my 25th high school reunion. To be perfectly honest with you, I’m not quite sure what I was thinking. When I got home from work I tried without much success to…