Category: Twins

  • Uncle Jumbo's Playground

    –Illustration by James Dankert Fridays aren’t gonna work for me. I’m not a writer, dammit. I can’t be expected to drag my ass home from the day job (and I do mean drag my ass; some days it feels like I’m hauling a Volkswagon Beetle behind me), watch a baseball game, and then sit down…

  • Cue The Meatloaf

    “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” would be an appropriate, if obnoxious, theme song for Ron Gardenhire’s Twins, for this or any season. The mantra in the Minnesota clubhouse during Gardenhire’s tenure has always been, “We’re just trying to win each series. The rest will take care of itself.” That’s a decent, ambitious goal for…

  • Human, All Too Human

    Okay, let’s add one more to that list of truths we hold self-evident: keep the fraggin’ ball in the damn park. I suppose it was inevitable that Johan Santana would eventually run into a little patch like this, but what’s been sort of disturbing is how hard he’s getting hit. The Blue Jays had four…

  • Uncle Jumbo's Playground

    –Illustration by James Dankert That was horseshit. I’m a superstitious guy, and I should have known better than to drag my ass from the house on Friday the thirteenth. I already had a sick feeling on the drive downtown. The muffler on my Celica was kicking up sparks all the way down Portland, and was…

  • Rain Delay

    It’s been a damn fine day here in the Twin Cities. Cold rain and temperatures forty degrees below normal. A perfect day for an indoor baseball game, in other words, or for hunkering down on the couch to watch the Twins playing somewhere better else. No such luck, which means we have an extra twenty-four…

  • Finally, For Crying Out Loud

    I don’t feel like trying to figure it out, so maybe someone else can tell me: what was the last date the Twins gained a game on the White Sox? It’s been at least nine games, right? A long time, at any rate, considering how well the Twins have been playing. And the encouraging thing…