Tag: kersten

  • Getting Propositioned

    While Minnesota has long touted its progressive credentials
    – enacting policies to help the nation’s huddling masses, deifying a well-intentioned
    former school teacher
    , and allowing
    the irredeemably stupid
    to perform police work – California has followed the teachings of its
    favorite son
    and popped a cap in the state’s aspirations to be the nation’s
    Leftist Wingnut leader. And recent events have shown that no matter who is in
    control of the Minnesota legislature or
    occupies the governor’s mansion, the title will always rest firmly and
    attractively in California’s
    surgically enhanced décolletage.

    Simply put, it wasn’t enough for California liberals that the past year has
    involved defying
    the Bush administration’s largely ineffective EPA, bizarre sign of the
    apocalypse-esque cooperation between Republicans and Democrats to expand health
    insurance coverage, and the judicially mandated legalization
    of same-sex marriage
    . No, the thrice damned Hollywood elite insists on rubbing
    organic Himalayan sea-salt in the wound by demonstrating that, not only is the
    state actually capable of passing its progressive policies, it’s also the home of what
    was recently demonstrated to be the most profoundly inbred and mentally
    deficient religious right population ever to swill merlot in Napa Valley.

    Whether their sad mental state is a result of abusive
    parents passing off lead paint chips as the latest flavor sensation by Pringles
    or simply a sign of the complete collapse of the Fresno
    and Burbank
    gene pools is immaterial. What’s important is what has set
    these ape-like creatures capering and gibbering
    , and more importantly –
    lawyering up.

    Yes, now that the California
    courts have ordered the right of marriage extended to the godless heathens
    otherwise known as homosexuals, thus ensuring the sacred marriage bed will soon
    be populated with donkeys, chickens, and the
    pestilential creature now known as Emma
    Bunton
    . However, the few conservatives who haven’t run screaming from
    California in anticipation of a Biblical rain of hellfire and the death of
    their firstborn have come up with an answer to this attack on traditional lights-out
    missionary style Judeo-Christian gettin’ it on – a constitutional amendment
    that will negate the thousands of legal marriages that have taken place since
    the judicial decision.

    Make no mistake, this is a historic proposition. Should this
    amendment pass, it will be the first time in the history of these United States
    that a specific population has been singled out in any state, or even federal,
    constitution to strip them of an existing right. This is nothing less than writing bigotry into the California constitution, not to mention a profound failure to uphold the true values of our country. The wording of the proposition
    is similarly stark:

    "Eliminates
    Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry."

    A straightforward, albeit bleak, description of the proposed
    amendment would seem to discharge the California
    attorney-general’s obligation to voters. Not so, say the aforementioned capering
    and gibbering creatures and their lawyers. While in many cases, the truth will set
    you free, in a situation such as this; the truth will result in you being
    accused of attempting to bias voters, triggering a lawsuit to change the
    language to something "less inflammatory."

    Whether or not it’s true that the attorney general’s
    sympathies lie with the friends of the Housewives of Orange County, or if his
    attitudes are influenced by a potential gubernatorial run, it’s largely
    immaterial. If a factual description of the amendment seems negative, then the
    proposition is, in all likelihood, negative. The goal is, after all, to
    invalidate the sanctity of a few thousand marriages, and deny the right to any
    other strapping gay lads and lassies who feel the nigh-irresistible urge to
    affirm their desire to forsake all other penises or vaginas under the auspices
    of God, Jesus H. Motherfucking Christ and the great state of California. And never mind the logistical nightmare that is trying to determine what to do with these now illegal marriages.

    Sure, Bible-thumping conservatives throughout the nation,
    including the Star Tribune’s own perm-wearing deep thinker,
    predict an epidemic of twisted relationships as a result of the perverted critical
    mass created by California
    homosexuals gaining the right to marry. And we have only just begun to see the
    bitter and brutal battle that’s sure to ensure in California courts to change the wording of
    Proposition 8. By the end of this we’ll have seen neighbor turn on gaybor,
    demonstrations in the streets that include far too much leather, and Holly
    Hobby finally having no choice but to turn her back on longtime friend Strawberry
    Shortcake and her alternative lifestyle
    .

    But are not equal rights worth the final nail in the coffin
    for Minnesota’s
    dreams of regaining its glory as the number one land of rainbows and progressive
    values, not to mention a spate of man/dolphin weddings?

  • Minnesota's Own Nero

    Oil is hovering around $115 a barrel, the lowest price of
    gas in the Twin Cities is $3.18, foreclosures are still a-rising, and yet, in her latest column,
    the Star Tribune’s Katherine Kersten
    believes all we need to weather the storm of inflation, diminished access to
    credit, and skyrocketing healthcare costs is a shit-eating grin and a positive attitude.
    Allow me to add a hefty supply of recreational pharmaceuticals to the list,
    because these days I’d love to have some of whatever Kersten is smoking. A few
    wise British men once said, "Life’s
    a piece of shit, when you look at it,"
    and that certainly applies in the
    current economic climate.

    Kersten’s premise seems to be that we can take notes from
    our parents and grandparents – those stalwart souls who grew up during the
    Great Depression and maintained a positive attitude despite the slings and
    arrows of daily life. And why yes, she’s right – life would be far more
    craptastic if we were faced with a worldwide economic disaster compounded by a
    severe drought shortly after a global conflict that caused the deaths of more
    than 20 million people. However, what Ms. Kersten failed to mention in what was
    likely supposed to be a feel-good piece meant to evoke images of fluffy bunnies
    and ponies prancing through verdant fields before she vomits forth more Powerline
    talking points
    , is that those bunnies and ponies are taking turns crapping
    all over the bank accounts of the average Star Tribune reader.

    You see, while no, we aren’t staring at a nigh-complete
    collapse of financial markets at home and abroad, we are looking at what is
    potentially the beginning of a long, slow, inexorable slide into poverty for
    the middle class. The last thirty years have seen a gradual widening of the gap
    between middle and upper class workers, of course, with C-level pay packages
    growing more and more whacked out every year. In addition to his $10 million
    pay package, CEO George Buckley has a harem of gold-painted succubi
    at his beck and call. NWA CEO Doug Steenland’s stock options are worth
    millions, but the value of the midgets who function as his office furniture is
    incalculable.

    The most egregious omission, however, the one that makes me
    believe the chemicals in Kersten’s home perm
    have seeped into her brainpan and taken up residence, thus blocking rational
    thought altogether, is her complete and utter obliviousness to the fact that
    many people in the state, and even the country, believe that life will actually
    be worse for their children than it was for them. And there’s no improvement in
    sight. The developing world is demanding resources, driving up prices for all,
    and that same developing world is placing increasing pressure on wages by
    competing for jobs and businesses that happily obey the cow god in
    return for reduced costs and delicious curries.

    This is a dramatic reversal from the norm in this country,
    where the wealth of one generation is traditionally built on by the next. And
    they’re feeling pessimistic for good reason – the middle and lower classes have
    been largely left out of the economic boom of the last decade. Real income has
    been largely stagnant due to rising healthcare, food and energy costs, and the
    heightened lifestyle of many middle-class Americans was funded by credit –
    which has dried up in the face of falling real estate prices. For the first
    time in nearly 80 years, the country’s middle class is shrinking and the best
    advice Kersten can muster is to act like Stepford wives? I suppose it makes
    perfect sense to grin and bear it when we’re already getting thoroughly
    buggered by the folks who’ve reaped the rewards of the massive economic
    expansion of recent years whilst we hear how great life is in these United States.

    What’s truly galling is the patronizing attitude. While it’s
    obvious things could be worse – N’Sync has not yet reunited,
    after all – we’re coming off an economic boom that actually set the stage for
    the recession by encouraging a middle class that hasn’t seen any real
    improvement to their lot in life in nearly 20 years to heavily leverage the one
    asset that could provide ready amounts of cash, their homes. Now that bill is
    coming due and we’re supposed to chuckle turn those lemons into
    lemonade
    ? I’d say no one is stupid enough to take that approach, but the comments on Kersten’s blog
    belie that.

    So there are really two options at hand. One could get angry
    that the number of children in Minnesota
    below the poverty line has increased by 30 percent since 2000. Or get downright
    pissed off that your paltry 2.5 percent pay increase is dwarfed by the average
    3 percent increase in healthcare costs, not to mention the nigh 50 percent
    increase in energy prices in the last few years. Or, like Ms. Kersten and her screaming
    hordes, you can lay down and take it, shouting "thank you sir, may I have
    another!?" all the while. Though how she manages to enunciate through the ball
    gag
    , I’ll never quite figure out.

  • Oh, That's Why Harvard and Carleton Are Such Crappy Schools

    You know, this is just too easy.

    In case you missed Kersten today, the topic is "Why St. Thomas University is going to hell in a handbasket". The short answer is, (and I’m only telling you this because reading the column will just cause you to think ill of thoughtful Catholics) because they don’t have the archbishop of St. Paul as an automatic member of the university board of directors any more.

    But, in good conscience, I can’t spare you the punch lines.

    Number one:

    Who remembers that Macalester and Carleton colleges were founded,
    respectively, by the Presbyterian and Congregational churches? Harvard,
    Yale and the University of Chicago were also originally
    church-affiliated institutions. But academics often view religious
    affiliation as incompatible with elite university status, and believe
    that it interferes with their "academic freedom."

    Number two:

    Because the widespread secularization of religiously affiliated
    colleges destroys true diversity in education. There are plenty of
    schools where students can learn professional skills and how to look
    out for Number One (and planet Earth).

    We need a few places where they can be called to pursue something higher: a transcendent vision of faith and morality.

    From number one, are we to infer that the two best colleges in Minnesota, and three of the best universities in the world are not as good as they could be because they eschew religious affiliation? (Disclosure: I was a religion major at Carleton. The former editor of The Rake has a masters in Divinity from Harvard. Those two things might explain a lot.)

    One other thing of note regarding Catholic universities in the United States: the recognized leaders in that category are Jesuit schools. Georgetown, Fordham, Holy Cross, Boston College are names you might recognize. The thing about the Jesuits is that they exist outside of the traditional church hierarchy. They report only to their own superiors, who report to the pope. The local bishop has no authority over them. (If you want to check into an interesting bit of local history, ask yourself why, until this year, the Twin Cities was the lone U.S. metropolitan area of any size without a Jesuit school. The answer: Bishop John Ireland didn’t want the insubordinate SOBs in his diocese. You can look it up. This is why we have St. Thomas instead of say, Georgetown.)

    I should of course mention Notre Dame, too. Notre Dame is not Jesuit, so they’re not as institutionally insubordinate as they could be. However, the bishop of the diocese of Fort Wayne/South Bend, Indiana does not sit on the board of trustees of Notre Dame.

    So, I guess Notre Dame also fails the Kersten test and you can lump them and the Jesuits in with godless Carleton, Harvard and Yale and decry their failure to inculcate morality and transcendence in their curricula, too.

    While you are at it, be sure to remember that, according to punchline two, concern for "Planet Earth" is also inconsistent with "a transcendent vision of faith and morality."

    This is truly funny stuff.

     

  • Spare the Rod, Spoil the Newspaper

    I made a mistake the other day and accidentally tuned in to KTLK and whatever right-wing boob they have on during the late morning. With a little checking after I got back to the office, I found his name is Dan Conry, and he has, like so many of his ilk, the IQ and eloquence of a doorknob…or of Katherine Kersten, whichever is higher.

    For he was haranguing about Kersten’s column of Monday, in which she asserted (surprise) that the government was out to take your kids and brainwash them.

    The impetus for these two nitwits with access to the media was the recent hearing before the state Supreme Court of the case of Gerard Fraser.

    Here’s the case in a nutshell: Gerard, 12 years old and 195 pounds (for some reason the Strib thought his weight was relevant) is the son of Shawn and Natalie Fraser, who are described as “devout Christians.” Gerard was (surprise) rebelling against his parents’ devout Christian discipline. Shawn and Natalie tried to communicate with Gerard grounding him and withholding privileges. They even went so far as to paste Bible quotes on the refrigerator. When this didn’t work, the devout Christians did what any devout Christians who are steeped in Deuteronomy would do, they paddled Gerard—36 blows with a wooden paddle.

    Subsequently, Gerard ran away. He was picked up by police as he was walking along the road. He told the police his parents were hitting him. Surprisingly, police (as they are required to do when there is an allegation of child abuse) turned it over to Hennepin County, who removed Shawn and his brother from his parents’ home while they investigated.

    Somehow, none of these details made it into Kersten’s column. Of course, if there had been any explanation of how Gerard came to the county’s attention, it might have undermined the impression Kersten was trying to leave–that Big Brother was watching and waiting for any excuse to swoop in and snatch your kids.

    Anyway, as Kersten then wrote, the Frasers sued the county to get the kids back, and were “finally vindicated” when the state Appeals Court (which is packed with Pawlenty appointees) returned Gerard to his devoutly Christian parents. Gerard, by the way, is now shipped off to a devoutly Christian boarding school in Utah. According to Kersten, the tuition at this school is $50,000, which is more than Harvard. The Frasers raised the money by refinancing their house.

    I can only hope the Frasers can’t make the payments when their full interest rate kicks in and they end up homeless, just like Jesus. I wouldn’t mind the same fate for the Strib editors who uncritically let Kersten inflame the rabble with this drivel, and don’t even demand that she include the very basic question of how this kid came to the attention of the authorities in the first place.

  • Go Down Moses

    A recent intercepted email exchange between Monica Moses, executive director of product innovation at the Star Tribune, and Steve Perry, editor of City Pages, provided both a good laugh and good fodder for online discussion of “What the hell are newspapers and why are they seemingly dying?” 

    The exchange (posted on The Rake’s media blog) was precipitated by City Pages’ extensive coverage in January of the fire sale of the Strib by its parent company, McClatchy. In particular, Perry laid blame for the Strib’s recent circulation declines squarely at the feet of Moses, who had been the prime mover behind last year’s “redesign” of the Minneapolis daily. To summarize the emails, Moses thought Perry was full of crap, and vice versa.

    Reading between the lines of the emails, though, it was possible to see much more than an internecine spat between journalists. (Of course, extending the title “journalist” to Moses would be a stretch, even though her title during the redesign was “deputy managing editor for visuals.”) What became clear was the vast chasm that has grown between today’s corporate-newspaper person and an old-styler like Perry, who operates under the quaint notion that newspapers are something other than a means to deliver demographics to advertisers.

    If you need further evidence of the abyss, have a look at the statement McClatchy CEO Gary Pruitt made to the Wall Street Journal at the time of the Strib’s redesign in 2005: “The Star Tribune … is about to take the wraps off a redesign that we hope will make it a model for a Twenty-first Century newspaper.” That’s exactly the worldview Moses was defending: A modern “model newspaper” is defined by its design rather than its actual content. And as soon as the reporters who grew up on Watergate realize that, nowadays, their job duty is to “attract eyeballs” rather than “report stories,” they’ll be much happier. That the “model newspaper” is now worth about half of what McClatchy paid for it in 1998 should help to drive the point home, too.

    To be fair, though, the paper’s pretty visual presentation, which takes up so much space that used to go to words, is perhaps a logical response to the falling circulation numbers at newspapers nationwide. If you want a newspaper to be more attractive to more people, make it more like the things they are attracted to: the pretty visuals and superficial content of TV and the Internet. (The smart youth-oriented television show Veronica Mars sent up this attitude perfectly a couple of weeks ago. When teen detective Veronica was shown a controversial newspaper story accompanied by slick visuals, her comment was, “Colored ink! It must be true.”)

    So, while you are rethinking your newspaper in terms of colored ink, don’t forget to further transfigure your “readers” into “viewers” by shortening all stories. Don’t stop there, though. Where there is some room for words among the illustrations, fifteen-word summaries, and huge section titles, you can add features and columnists who are transparently chosen to appeal to a niche readership—one defined by its age or religion or politics.

    The perfect example of the latter two criteria is columnist Katherine Kersten, who is profiled by Brian Lambert in this issue. No honest observer would deny that she was added to the Strib’s lineup as part of a package intended to appeal to political and religious conservatives. (She came on board around the same time several syndicated conservative writers began to appear regularly on the opinion pages.)

    The fact that she’s conservative is not remarkable, per se. The fact that she’s so utterly predictable in her “family-values” brand of conservatism, and so consistently trite in her expression of it (her last two columns were about, respectively, the gentle old couple who met at Bible school and founded the Minnesota Family Council, and the evils of pervasive television violence) tells me that Strib editors have as little respect for the intelligence of their conservative readership as they do for the rest of us.

    The reporters and editors who create whatever value remains inherent in the Star Tribune are nearly unanimously discouraged. They know the fate that chopped at the hamstrings of the Pioneer Press after its sale also awaits them. The Pioneer Press’ managers professed surprise when so many veteran reporters gladly took the offered buyouts. They clearly underestimated the acrimony they had created. And now it’s happened on the other side of the river, too.

    Most reporters and editors believe, perhaps naively, that the essence of a newspaper is the news, not the packaging of the news. Increasingly, this puts them in conflict with their owners, who have no patience for idealistic notions about the crucial role a vigorous press plays in our culture, and no empathy for a work force that actually begs to do its job better.

    Maybe what Pruitt really meant when he called the Strib a model newspaper was that it’s a poor excuse for a real one.

  • Katherine Kersten: The One-Woman Solution

    When the tinny tinkle of “Joy to the World, the Lord is Come” begins playing on the cell phone, everyone in range in the Star Tribune newsroom knows who’s getting a call. It is Katherine Kersten, the paper’s unapologetically religious and fiercely conservative metro columnist.

    Since May 2005, the Star Tribune has been engaged in what its top editor freely describes as “an experiment.” The test has Katherine Kersten, a fifty-five-year-old former banker, lawyer, and think-tank denizen, now an opinion writer, playing the role of an alien element injected into a tradition-bound newspaper culture.


    Long battered by conservative critics as the “Red Star” for its alleged knee-jerk liberalism—particularly over the past decade, as conservatives were rallied by the echo chambers of talk radio and right-wing blogs—the Star Tribune decided it had to answer. So, for the last twenty months, Kersten has been a one-woman solution, applying a decidedly different, and perhaps revolutionary, face to the role of big-city reporter and metro columnist.
    Directed by editor Anders Gyllenhaal, a man with only two years of Minnesota experience under his belt at the time, the paper consciously sought an unequivocal political and social conservative—not a classic Minnesota moderate Republican, but rather, someone whose voice and point of view could have been lifted off the pages of the Weekly Standard (for which Kersten has written), or the Sean Hannity Show. Moreover, Gyllenhaal declined to put her column on the editorial pages, where Kersten used to write when she worked for The Center of the American Experiment, and where no one would have blinked had she appeared again. Instead, he put her on the metro pages, where consistently overt, unvarying partisan ideology has historically been discouraged.
    Kersten seized the opportunity and has delivered a steady drumbeat of unvarnished socially conservative thinking, railing steadily against gay marriage—and the slippery slope from there to polygamy, public schools, the legitimacy of Keith Ellison’s congressional candidacy, the cynical stagecraft of the so-called “Flying Imams,” and, in a near-camp classic, the Rolling Stones’ lack of family values.
    The primary response has been a chorus of infuriated liberals. But the unvarying perspective and tone of her writing has also called into question several long-accepted tenets of traditional newspapering, among them the unwritten code that says columnists should avoid easy labeling and present an image of editorial independence, an image that at no time suggests they are in league with unknown forces.
    A year and a half later, Gyllenhaal’s ‘experiment’ is neither the ‘tremendous success’ he and local conservatives describe it as, nor the ‘sick joke’ outraged liberals and a small minority of Kersten’s Star Tribune colleagues have called it. Both Gyllenhaal (who is leaving the Star Tribune this month to take over editorship of the Miami Herald) and Kersten claim to be buoyed by a steady flow of correspondence praising her work. Nevertheless, her harshest critics continue to see her as a painfully unpolished reporter serving mainly as obvious sop to barking-dog conservatives, a crowd that wouldn’t respect the Star Tribune if it ran neo-con valentines on the front page.
    At the same time, several of the paper’s more prominent writers wonder if Gyllenhaal’s choice of a bona fide member of the intellectual elite is really serving the optimal conservative constituency. In other words, is she effectively solving the paper’s “conservative problem”? There is also a concern with Kersten’s near-lockstep choice of topics and point of view with influential conservative bloggers—chief among them Scott Johnson, one of the three primary authors at Powerlineblog.com and her friend of twenty years.
    In person, Kersten comes off as a classic Edina working mother of four, albeit one with a monochromatic wardrobe favoring shades of black. (On a personal level, her Strib colleagues seem to like her; some say they’ve even encouraged her to “soften” her look in her column mug shots—it has changed four times, by one count.) Her vocal inflection is earnest and precise, her thoughts organized. She doesn’t fumble for words. Without question, she is well read, open, self-effacing, and even eager for a civil clash of opinions. She shows no hint of defensiveness or the knuckleheaded combativeness of talk radio. Nor does she stoop to the kind of contrived venom and cynical mangling of facts made famous by Ann Coulter.
    In fact, unlike so many commercially successful bloviators, Kersten gives the impression that truth actually matters to her. Her conversation, which does have a tendency to drift into think-tank policy-speak, is peppered with references to “ideas,” “issues,” and “vision.” Yet during a conversation, you can’t help but be puzzled by the contradictions she doesn’t see, and wonder if she isn’t another example of a person whose facile intellect and desire to differentiate herself have impelled her to a rarefied stratum of thought.
    Over coffee at an Edina Starbucks, Kersten describes her family in Fort Dodge, Iowa, as “Republican, but not terribly political,” and recalls, with amused irony, marching in anti-Vietnam War protests as a Carleton College freshman in 1969-70.
    “You can imagine what Carleton was like at that time,” she says. “It was certainly a political hotbed. There was a moratorium, as you might remember, which was observed across the country when the Kent State and Cambodia-related issues kind of came to the fore in the spring semester. There was a great length of period when there were no classes at all. Classes were just suspended, and people met to talk politics on [the Carleton commons].
    “Paul Wellstone was a relatively new faculty member. But he of course was very, very prominent in all this.”
    Being an eighteen-year-old at this point, she says, she wasn’t thinking of herself as deeply political, and certainly not as the free-market capitalist and purveyor of conservative social nostrums she would eventually become.
    “Oh no. In fact, I remember writing home from Carleton,” she says, “asking that my parents send up some of my hard-earned waitress dollars so I could put it into an account for people who might need to raise bail after civil-disobedience actions. And I remember marching by the governor’s mansion.
    “I actually wrote a letter to my hometown paper about the war, and my uncle wrote a counterpoint.”
    Hers was anti-war?
    “Yeah, anti-Vietnam policy, I guess you could say. But all along, I was pretty much aware my information was spotty, and that I didn’t have the big picture,” she says.
    As uncertain about her future as any eighteen-year-old, Kersten says, she tried to balance her love of great books with a major in chemistry, but very soon shucked all thought of Petri dishes and Bunsen burners.
    After one year she shucked Carleton, too, in favor of the then-all-female St. Mary’s, across the highway from the University of Notre Dame in South Bend, Indiana. She entered “a general program of liberal studies” and “a great books program,” which, she declares, was “the best thing that ever happened to me.”
    After she finished her undergrad work, she went off to Yale University, intending to work toward a doctorate in philosophy, but her capitalist instincts quickly deflected her from that track. She signed up for a master’s program with an “organizational, management-type focus.” Two years later, she was headed for a job at Northern Trust Bank in Chicago.
    “I wanted to work with a big company that would essentially teach me what I needed to know,” she says. “And of course at that time banks were kind of the premier place to start.”
    Two years with the bank was enough for Kersten to decide the pin-striped life “was also not [her] passion.” But now—maybe, possibly—the academic life was. Seventy letters to various institutions of higher learning netted her a job with the University of Wisconsin as a liaison between the administration and the extension university.
    But the need to score a doctorate (a requirement if one is to stay viable in university administration) was, again, not something she felt passionate about. A business contact in North Carolina convinced her that a law degree was a much better real-world commodity than a Ph.D. She soon became the fourth lawyer in her family.
    Kersten met her husband Mark Johnson, who is now an attorney in a private practice, in law school. She then married and found herself, three years later, out of school, buying a house, and about to have her second child (she eventually had four in five years). She was also thinking, “I can’t do all of this.” So, “I quit my job [with the University of Wisconsin],” she says. “And really, that begat my first experience with writing.”
    After that, Kersten says, a grad school friend contacted her wondering if she’d be interested in taking over an assignment from the conservative Hoover Institution’s Policy Review journal to “write a kind of conservative feminist manifesto.”
    Though that idea conjures visions of braless Lynne Cheneys and Liddy Doles cracking heads in an eighty-fourth-floor executive suite, Kersten explains that the editors were curious as to whether she—a thirty-five-year-old, very-well-educated stay-at-home mom—detected any overlap between what, at first glance, appeared to be repellent poles of the cultural globe.
    At this point, though, she still had not sworn a blood oath to conservatism.
    “My real interest is ideas,” she insists, “not politics,” and goes on a bit about how she developed an appreciation for the positive influences of Western culture while studying at St. Mary’s. “The way [Western culture] has produced modernity; the way it has produced the scientific world view; the way it has produced the notion of individual liberties and individual rights.”
    Kersten was becoming enamored with this view at a time—1970—when many of her college peers and faculty members were expressing passionate dismay at the Vietnam War, seeing it as yet another catastrophic episode of Western hypocrisy, another tragic example of the Western ethos carpet-bombing not-quite-our-kind-of-“modern” individuals and individual liberties “back to the Stone Age” (to quote then-Air Force General Curtis LeMay).
    So did she feel she ever had a Saul-on-the-road-to-Damascus moment—an experience that shifted her lust for ideas permanently away from the conventionally liberal attitudes of most college campuses, and into the bosom of conservatism?
    “Well,” she says, grasping the question, “in terms of my interest in current events and how current events are shaped by these ideas, it really was my decision to stay at home as a mother, and to then begin spending more time looking at issues, and in particular my experience with Central America.”
    In the mid-’80s, “Central America” was shorthand for the turmoil of socialist/populist revolutions against long-entrenched dictatorial governments, most of which had cozy, supportive relations with large American and European corporations. In Nicaragua, the Sandinistas had finally grabbed control after a twenty-year struggle against the American-backed Somoza family. The Reagan administration responded by funneling military aid to right-wing rebels seeking to undercut the Sandinistas.
    Meanwhile in Minneapolis, stay-at-home-mom Katherine Kersten was attending parties at the well-appointed Lake of the Isles home of a former law-firm colleague.
    “We were invited, regularly, to Sandinista events. Events where there’d be a Sandinista priest or a Sandinista politician speaking. And often these events were held at these lovely homes, where there would be bread-and-soup suppers, and people would come in proper revolutionary dress, with the right head scarf and the right peasant skirt.
    “I had really known very little about [this kind of culture], and I got pretty interested— especially because I’d raise my hand at the end of one of these speeches by these Sandinista apologists, and I’d ask a skeptical question. And there’d be this shudder that would go around the room. People would whisper, ‘You can’t say that,’ ‘How can you say that?’
    “I realized pretty quickly there was something else going on here. There was a deeply emotional need being met.”
    Her voice registers excitement as she recalls Minnesota college campuses shipping faculty members and students off to Nicaragua on field trips where “they were all filled with this righteous indignation. And often these people were accountants: they were lawyers. They were kind of in their mid-forties. They had gone to college in the ’60s, and, I don’t know, maybe thought they’d sold out. But now they were pretty well heeled. But to them, there was nothing more exciting than to see [Sandinista leader] Daniel Ortega in his bandolier and his camouflage. To them, he was, you know, an authentic revolutionary. A reeeal man.
    “And I had seen this over and over at these Lake of the Isles parties.”
    It was at this point, Kersten says, that she refashioned herself as a lonely champion for rectitude—a mom-style Joan of Arc, leading an often-solitary crusade for clarity in true democratic principles. Like so many conservatives, she asserted that “there was literally no one out there” countering the argument of Sandinista sympathizers. (No one, of course, other than the Reagan administration.)
    Borrowing a page from the Republican handbook of “issue framing”, Kersten formed The Midwest Coalition for Democracy in Central America. Soon, her notoriety and singularity as a countering argument to liberal orthodoxy began earning her an audience every time a school or radio program needed to “balance” a forum.
    Tireless and reliably on point, her newspaper op-ed pieces caught the attention of Mitch Pearlstein, who at the time was handling reader mail for the St. Paul Pioneer Press’s editorial page. Pearlstein encouraged her to write more, and soon, after he founded the conservative Center of the American Experiment think tank in the early ’90s, Kersten was brought on as a fellow.
    By the mid-’90s, she was well enough established as a go-to conservative thinker to become a regular presence from 1995 to 2003 on the Star Tribune’s editorial page, where she began serving up regular assaults on precious liberal sensibilities. “It was not a particularly comfortable fit for me,” she says. “The editorial page has a very decided slant.”
    Some see Kersten’s unvarying perspective as her primary weakness. “Maybe the biggest struggle in being a columnist is trying to avoid being labeled,” said Star Tribune columnist Nick Coleman one late fall afternoon, as he carved his way through lunch at Kramarczuk’s Deli. “A big part of the game is surprising the reader from time to time, showing some latitude in your thinking and staying out of the box people try to put you in.”
    Coleman (full disclosure: he is a longtime friend of mine) has been a Twin Cities columnist for more than thirty years. He, and nearly all of the other Star Tribune staffers with whom I spoke, have no objection to adding new voices to the paper—even an unabashed conservative voice. His problem is placing Kersten on the metro pages in an attempt to create a “balance” and respond to the regular accusations of liberal bias hurled at him and fellow columnist Doug Grow. “You find the last time some Democratic politician or liberal blogger referred to me as, ‘our good friend, Nick Coleman.’ It’s never happened. They all hate my guts, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be.”
    In fact, there is no end of Star Tribune readers who agree with the description of Grow and Coleman as “liberals.” And there’s a long history of big-city newspaper columnists with “liberal” sensibilities. You think of writers like Mike Royko, Pete Hamill, Jimmy Breslin, and so on—journalists who built legendary careers, and a large readership, by covering the stories of underdogs bucking city hall and big business. Columnists like these savored an emotional kinship with a hard-living underclass—people with little more to offer the community at large than their colorful and amusing stories. But today’s hyper-cautious newspaper managers, more peripatetic bureaucrats than journalists, consign that kind of novelistic storytelling to the trash heap of journalistic days gone by.
    Coleman and a number of other Star Tribune reporters (who preferred not to go on record) see the Kersten “experiment” as essentially this: In hopes of appeasing a rancorous minority, the paper has taken a straightforward, arch-conservative opinion-page writer with no traditional newspaper reporting experience—no time spent covering society’s random violence and injustice and the street-level impact of “big ideas”—and allowed her to do on-the-job training as a metro columnist.
    There is something to the complaint. While even her critics concede Kersten “is getting better,” her columns, particularly those on her signature topics of gay marriage, schools, and Keith Ellison, read more like guest editorials with quotes than traditional metro columns.
    For his part, Doug Grow thinks Gyllenhaal may have missed the true reason for reader alienation from the Star Tribune. “When a newspaper starts chasing specific demographic groups, I think you’re asking for trouble. Once you start tailoring yourself to appeal to narrow demographic targets, you risk becoming as irrelevant [journalistically] as the ten o’clock news.
    “But our reputation out in Anoka County and other exurbs is not good,” adds Grow, an entirely affable guy who says he genuinely likes Kersten (and whom Kersten, in turn, thanks for being “so gracious and welcoming”).
    “People out [in the northern suburbs] rightly perceive that we don’t talk to them,” Grow says. “So my sense was that what we really needed was a columnist who actually lived in the exurbs. You know? Someone who rides ATVs on the weekend and goes deer hunting.
    “Personally, I didn’t think an ideologue was the answer, but rather someone who lived that kind of red-state lifestyle.”
    In response to the idea of a blaze-orange, locked-and-loaded, ATV-revving columnist at the Star Tribune, Kersten replies, “But those people can’t write [newspaper columns],” which may—or may not be—true. But it is obvious the paper didn’t look beyond politically active conservatives when considering how best to address its “balance problem.” When there was a choice between a moderate and a hard-liner, it took the latter.
    In a notoriously gossipy industry, in which news of anyone under consideration for a plum job is traded like a hot stock tip, only two names ever emerged from the Star Tribune’s so-called “nationwide search.” Kersten and Republican lobbyist Sarah Janecek were the putative finalists. Both live in the paper’s backyard, and neither boasts about her skill field-gutting a twelve-point buck. Janecek is regularly derided by militant bloggers as a RINO (Republican in Name Only), while Kersten appeals to the most socially conservative wing.
    Few individuals embody the conservative siege engine trained on the Star Tribune better than the three attorneys who operate Powerlineblog.com, the renowned website that Time magazine called “Blog of the Year” for 2004. Power Line has been catapulting vats of molten lead at the Star Tribune ever since it went live in 2002.
    “The [Star Tribune] is a paragon of political correctness and a national laughingstock,” says Scott Johnson, one of the trio. “That paper is a lost cause, and I say that looking at it through the job they did on the Fifth [Congressional] District race” between Alan Fine and Keith Ellison. During that race, Power Line and Kersten engaged in a symbiotic dance of predation, attacking DFL nominee Keith Ellison for everything short of selling crack to preschoolers. Follow Power Line regularly and you can’t help but be struck by how often Johnson plugs the next day’s Kersten column, usually as soon as it appears on the Star Tribune website. Johnson and Kersten have been friends for twenty years, and he usually refers to her as “Kathy” or “our good friend, Kathy.” Nor can you miss how often Kersten’s column echoes something recently posted on Power Line.
    Conservative “pillow talk” is rampant. By my unofficial count as of early December 2006, Kersten had written approximately 135 columns and Power Line had lauded seventy-five of them. There has been no criticism. This coziness of both choice of topic and point of view lends itself to suspicion of a kind of mentor-pupil relationship—a notion that prompts a playful question from Johnson: “And so, which is which?” He goes on to say that “it is true that Kathy has written a number of columns off things she has read on Power Line. But no, there is no ‘mentor-pupil’ relationship. I don’t direct her. I mention her column as often as I do only because I believe what she has written is of interest to a national audience.”
    All Fall, Power Line and Kersten pressed their assault on Keith Ellison and “The Flying Imams” (referring to the nationally-reported story of six Muslim clerics being taken off a USAir flight from Minneapolis), hammering, one after another, like the two blacksmiths on the same Scandinavian weather vane.
    Not that Johnson is pleased with the result of his effort. “I never worked harder to less effect,” he says, “in trying to embarrass the Star Tribune to do its job in [the Ellison] race.”
    Gyllenhaal dismisses Johnson and Power Line as “a group that has been virulently critical of the paper,” adding with a tone of exasperation, “The criticisms they made, on the Ellison coverage, were just totally without merit.” He declines comment on any symbiosis between Power Line and Kersten, claiming to be unaware of any similarities.
    The Kersten column, as Gyllenhaal explains it, is not a matter of blowing up the old paradigms of journalism. Rather, it is simply an acknowledgement that the world has changed, and that readers look to newspapers for a wider variety of voices, not all of which have been nurtured for years in a newsroom environment. And he concedes the paper did not adequately serve the Twin Cities’ “conservative audience.”
    Gyllenhaal sees Kersten as far less predictable than her critics claim, and says he’s entirely pleased with both the “stories” she’s telling and the craft with which she tells them.
    There was only a tip-toe mention of conservatism in the original description of the job Kersten won. “As with all columnists,” said the job description, “the emphasis would be on deeply reported columns, story telling off the news, pieces that can best be told with a columnist’s leeway. This columnist would have the added goal of bringing a conservative perspective to the paper in story topics, circles traveled and views explored.” Introducing her May 22, 2005, in a fifteen-paragraph editor’s column touting her career, but making no direct reference to her signature political ideology, Gyllenhaal mentioned, far down in the column, that, “As the staff looks ahead to the future of newspapers, we think it’s vital to expand the reach of the paper for a wide base of readers, young and old, urban and suburban, conservative, liberal and independent.”
    So during the hiring process, was it ever explicitly put to Kersten that the paper wanted a conservative voice? After a pause, she says, “I’m trying to think how that was put. I don’t recall that that word was used. It was pretty clear what they wanted, though. They wanted somebody who would balance the generally liberal perspective of the editorial page and the columnists who are there, which would be a conservative.
    “But, of course,” she adds, “you could describe ‘conservative’ in a number of ways.”