The Rake Magazine

Tag: Lolitas

  • Edina Mom. Dead or Alive.

    Last year, I posted a movie on YouTube. It was a candid short film of a Mom sending her kid off to "camp" at a church in Edina. The Mom was wearing a leather Ferrari jacket while burdening her two cherubic children with care packages the size of a Marshall Plan drop. I found the whole vignette ironic, particularly since her kiddies were only going to be gone for three days.

    Today I found myself in the same church lobby, reluctantly sending my own kids off to the same "camp." (I was outvoted, again.)

    There was no Mom to be seen this time. In fact, I counted only two Yukon Denalis (with smallish blondish moms at the wheel, with the air conditioning on and phones at their ears) in the parking lot.

    So you could say that this year a car blogger has little right to comment cynically on a well-heeled woman wearing a jacket that advertises a car she has probably never driven nor could possibly understand.

    If she is still alive. Metaphorically speaking.

    Judging by the sheer lack of uselss Detroit iron in the parking lot this year and far smaller care packages (unless you go to YMCA camps–the only true camps in existence), it may finally be time to bury my unbewitting feminine icon of excess. I am willing to believe that the Edina she symbolizes may well be dead.

    Yet, as a car blogger, I am still troubled.

    Ths "camp," still does its best to "theme" its camp seasons. If your children have played youth sportts in a white suburb you know this means wearables themed in all manners of bad taste. (Buy or die.)

    The camp’s theme this year consisted of logo and color palette appropriated directly from Land Rover. "Roving Far and Wide" it read.

    Edina and commericalism go hand in hand. In spite of my own cynicism, I like the place and live here myself. If it were not for Edina, my two young children would not be fluent in French.

    But Land Rover?

    A church camp in Edina should worship a stronger brand.

     

     

     

     

  • Strippers. On Sale.

    Pictured above: The 2003 EVO RS, the utlimate stripper. And what were you thinking?

    I’ve been away for awhile. Seems the economy is picking up a bit with the price of gas going down a cent. It’s all senseless to me.

    What I find equally senseless is the axiomatic ability for certain headlines to pull in readers on a blog. I would have titled this post differently but then I would not be able to avail my attorney friends of a great chance to save money on their rides. So here goes.

    Schizophrenic economies create opportuniities. To make the most of troubled times it frequently pays to zig while the denizens zag. And when it comes to that dance called buying a new car, it’s time to cast caution to the wind and put your money down on a stripper.

    Strictly, of course, in automotive parlance.

    "Stripper" cars remain the hot rodders’ favorite. They loosely describe a higher performance model with a total "option delete" except for the things that improve the driving experience.

    With gas going up, however (and watch it go down within a year if we simply threaten to drill), the average car guy or gal should take a look at these rides right now. I have never seen them priced so low and, frankly, because they are not penalized by nav systems and other electronics that add weight, they usually turn in respectable MPG.

    Here are my top three picks:

    4-door family cars:

    Used: The ninth generation Mitsubishi EVO RS.

    New: The new Mazda MX-8 R3 Edition

    2- door sports car:

    Used: The Porsche 996 GT-3 Less expensive now that a normal 911 and way faster. Way, way, way, faster.

    I’ve linked these for the details. You might get $5,000-10,000 off the asking prices on E-Bay. Do it now, before we shake down the oil speculators and the price on these road dancers goes through the roof.