Did I Mention The Guy's Name Is Corky Miller?

Corky Miller. Corky Mother-Humping Miller. Get serious. That name, I don’t think I need to tell you, just isn’t going to get it done.

Corky Miller is the name of the grizzled chuckwagon cook in a western round-up.

Corky Miller is the fat, beleaguered first baseman on a little league team in an After School Special.

Corky Miller is the hayseed in the danceline of a Broadway musical.

Corky Miller is an astigmatic junior high school shop teacher.

Corky Miller is the bully with a crewcut in a comic book from the 1950s.

Corky Miller is a Division I women’s basketball coach.

Corky Miller is the host of a cable access Christian children’s television program.

Corky Miller is a ventriloquist’s dummy.

Corky Miller is a golf caddy.

Corky Miller is a gentleman suitor.

Corky Miller is a sidekick, an afterthought, a horse track rube, a meddlesome neighbor, a musclehead with a fake tan.

Corky Miller is not a Major League baseball player. Not in the 21st century, he’s not. He better not be.