Of Guns and G-forces

But will that thing fit in the trunk?

Road Rakes should be, quite literally, driven to fight commonism in all its forms. This includes the commonism of the politically correct (right and left.) I am therefore suggesting a road trip (aka “Freedom Ride”) to fight this menace.

Permit me to set some context:

Take Sean Penn. Great actor–even better director. While he has proven to be capable of deep thought, his actions frequently do not support the gaseous pomposity that spews from his mouth.

For example, I am convinced I’ve heard Mr. Penn link our supposed “war” against terrorism to liberal gun policies in the US. While he may be right about this, it does not help that he was recently pulled over with a cache of unregistered hand guns in his car.

Let’s face it. While we hate to admit it, a lot of people who toe the politically correct line on most everything own guns. Yeah, maybe that doesn’t include you, but let’s face it, you are intrigued.

I don’t own a gun yet, but the idea does appeal to me.

I am convinced that the g-force from a gun is similar to the rush you get from a high-torque (not necessarily HP) car. Therefore I think guns and cars go together. The play station generation would agree (Though blogs are more fun than video games. More dangerous too.)

On that note, I’d like to propose a new compelling story for the latest trend in automotive journalism–the road trip diary. As a voracious consumer of car magazines, I’ve noticed that both the American and British rags have been devoting a lot more ink lately to the “road trip” story. Obviously it’s a great way to pursue the pleasures of motoring.

What’s more, as you get older, there’s no reason why that fear and loathing road trip you took as a college student in an imported green Fiat without brakes (great for mountain passes in a blizzard) cannot be upgraded a bit. You should be responsible enough to handle the higher horsepower you can access these days. You should also be responsible enough to handle a gun (and the reality it symbolizes.)

So I propose to all you that we each commit to a new road trip this year in the fastest cars we can find–and then report on our findings. The only caveat I will add is that you studiously avoid any form of political correctness on your journey. This means no trips to the Rainforests to explore vanishing cultures. No Ferraris driven across China to secretly uncover the evils of income redistribution.

No, I suggest you take a road trip to explore the maximum g-forces you can extract from your ride en route to your local shooting range.

For added effect, find a buddy with permission to both own and carry firearms so you can keep them in your trunk. If you do get pulled over, yeah you might get paranoid, but this time you’ll be legal.
…And as long as you’ve kept the statute of limitations on politically correct utterances in public for year or so, you won’t end up like Madonna’s first husband.

Think of it. You’ll one-up Sean Penn without getting hit.