Fancy a Festival?

What do you feel like doing today?

If I was deeply and importantly bored for the rest of April and had a glass elevator that could take me anywhere at any moment, these would be appropriate diversions:

The World Gourmet Summit in Singapore April 10-28
Forget the exotic locale and international chef sightings, I’d go for The Macallan vertical tasting alone. The class details note that dress should be Smart Casual, as if we Macallan drinkers could be anything but.

Country Cajun Crawfish Festival in Biloxi, MS April 20-23
We’re talking 20,000 pounds of hot, spicy crawfish and The Charlie Daniels Band. That’s quite an afternoon. Fork over $10 to get into the judging area for the Super Boil Crawfish Cook-Off and help determine who gets braggin’ rights.

Stockton Asparagus Festival in Stockton, CA April 21-23
Everyone says they’re going to visit Asparagus Alley to pick up some recipe ideas, but what they’re really checking out is the World Deep-Fried Asparagus Eating Competition. How can you miss 105-pound Korean Sonya Thomas who can put down 5.7 pounds of the stuff in ten minutes? I’m assuming the Porta-Potties are situated a good distance from the festival grounds.

Taste of Chinatown in New York City April 22
They open at 1pm and close at 6pm. That gives us five hours to hit every one of the over fifty restaurants, tea houses, bakeries, and shops that are offering $1-$2 tasting plates. That’s roughly one sample every six minutes. It’s the New York marathon, my style.

Vidalia Onion Festival in Vidalia, GA April 26-30
No other onion deserves a festival, that’s for sure. I’d be snarfing onion rings all day long. It has the usual cook-offs and Miss Onion pageants, but I might camp out at the Boy Scout’s Vidalia dutch oven demonstration.

Vermont Maple Festival in St. Albans, VT April 28-30
I’m grabbing a stack of pancakes and heading to the Fiddlers’ Variety Show. Because when can you ever get enough fiddlin’ and pancakes.

Show Me Gourd Festival in Sedalia, MO April 29-30
I’m not exactly sure if they actually eat gourds at this festival, but they do make hats and quilts from them. So I have that going for me.

Shad Fest in Lambertville, NJ April 29-30
Stonyfield Farms is a Shad Fest supporter, might we expect a shad flavored yoghurt? I’d go simply to hear Susan McLellan Plaisted of Heart to Hearth Cookery give a lecture. To food geeks like me, she’s Aerosmith.