The Giving Guest

Tradition hasn’t rooted so firmly in my kitchen that I cook the Thanksgiving meal every year. Sometimes I am a guest at the feast, like the mjority of people, an eater. It’s a beautiful thing, for a cook to be cooked for, and I never take that invitation lightly.

It should be one of the first rules of life that you never show up to a feast empty-handed, and I’m not talking about pot-luck. A little gift, a little prize, a little special something that will make the host smile … it’s a small price for a full belly.

That being said here are some peccadilloes to avoid:

I know this will sound surprising, but don’t bring flowers. The hostess will have to find a vase and a location for your flowers, taking her away from her duties. And even if they have a pleasant odor, they’ll take away from the smell of the food.

Don’t bring a cookbook. Nothing says "Hey, time to learn something new!" to a harried cook more than that.

Dont’ you dare bring a surprise dish: "I brought along my favorite mayonnaise pizza dish just to help out!" This person should be banned for life.

And never, ever, ever this.

So what’s a stylish and gracious guest to do? Simply, be thoughtful:

A bottle of wine is classic and easy, but make it a bottle that is meant for another day. In fact, make it a kick-ass port with a tag that reads: Open when we’re all gone.

A ribbon-tied pair of dish washing gloves, with your name inked on them.

Chicken stock … just in case.

Onion goggles. Your contribution to a tears-free family feast!

A game to occupy the kids at the Kids Table, whether you’re still sitting there or not.

Chocolate turkeys. Who doesn’t love biting the waddle off a chocolate turkey?

A great loaf of bread and jar of mayo for the first post-meal-everyone’s-gone-late-night turkey sandwich.

Breakfast in a clean kitchen: a bag of pre-ground coffee, scones, and lemon curd.

Fine! You can bring a pie, dammit. But make sure it’s flippin’ great and not something you picked up at Costco or the gas station.

The All Time Best Gift: an invitation to dinner at your house.