Did Hillary Clinton Choose Her Fanny Over Her Face?

Don’t think all the Hillary Clinton hullabaloo has gone
unnoticed by the likes of me. Truth be told, I’ve been very busy at work this
work, whereas my inner life has been consumed by a rage caused, for one,
by the MPD’s horrific, paramilitary-style antics, but also by the revelation that certain
political conservatives hate older women.

OK, that’s not entirely true. In a way, I’m happy Rush et
al. so freely expressed their misogyny (and forgive me for failing to link to their rubbish). Now, I can forward their screeds to all
my female relatives, thereby turning them into life-long Democrats. 

You see, I don’t think
an ugly snapshot has necessarily ended Clinton’s
presidential bid. (Urg, how irritating that I just had to fight an urge to refer
to her by first name!) Rather, I think aging-and being criticized for your
physical characteristics-is something that profoundly affects each and
every woman. Most of us were held under the microscope at an early age. In my
case, the tormentors fixed on my massive head of unruly, frizzy hair. The offshoot
is that I, and almost every other woman alive, have a particular sensitivity
about my appearance. In fact, I spend an embarrassing amount of time in front
of the bathroom mirror most mornings, just staring at the constellation of
wrinkles that increasingly lines my face. But no matter how much we
women preen, pluck, or otherwise tend to our looks, we’re fully aware that these
are essentially shallow pursuits. Being hot won’t make us happy. It won’t make us smart. Sure, we miss our beauty as it fades, but we don’t necessarily miss
all the catcalls a walk down the street would inspire when we were in our teens
and early twenties. Looks aren’t everything, guys! Pfft!!

Anyhoo, much as we women like attracting (and deflecting)
positive male attention, we’re also extremely sensitive to their mean-spirited
attacks on our appearances. Look, Clinton
looks a whole lot better than most of us look, or will look, at sixty years of
age. Most women can only hope to look half this beautiful. Remember
the way you reacted when your high-school boyfriend remarked that Winona Ryder
looked sort of chubby in Heathers? Realizing she was, like, wa-ay thinner than you were, you
then turned to him, clicked your tongue, and screamed at the top of your lungs: "That’s just a roundabout way of calling me fat!" OK, so maybe that was just me … But the point is this: An attack
on one (of our faces) is an attack on all (of our faces). Heck, the way I see
it, all those conservative blowhards just inspired a boatload of empathy from the
2008 presidential campaign’s most important voting block: WOMEN!

P.S. Here’s a thoughtful piece on the matter from Salon.com.