Man Enough for Moon Patrol

I submit my good friend Andy Goldman Gray’s thoughts on his beloved Aztek, supposedly penned while he was flying on Nyquil. He is VP Marketing at United Way, so contribute some of your thoughts (even money) in a professional capacity.

When has something so maligned
caused such a devoted following as the fateful Pontiac Aztek? I was
recently trying to describe to The Road Rake why I love my car, even though my wife
gets crap about it when she borrows it to bring something big to work.

The ‘bleeding edge," is a concept that Road Rake introduced me to this summer. So I guess I am just beginning to clot from my purchase of this fine piece of "American Ingenuity."

I
had three main purchase requirements when I bought this car/truck/AMC Eagle on
steroids: 1. Lots of buttons and gadgets, 2. Uncommon
styling, 3. A second home in the event that my wife threw
me out.

It turns out that this car was one of the first
"lifestyle" SUVs. Unfortunately, it came packaged in a really, really ugly
box. Sure, you can put your bike on top of a Nissan Xterra, but the Aztek
has a bed and tent built right in. This is why so many of the Aztek’s
owners (secretly) champion their car. Car clubs, social networks, and
local owners support groups have devoted a great deal of time to overturning this
"worst car ever" tag.

Get past the
"moon patrol" facade, and it’s everything a man could love.

True story– my wife got a fortune cookie
at Chino Latino that said, "If people were cars, you’d be a little red Corvette,
unfortunately your date would be a Pontiac Aztek." I think this was
supposed to be sardonic, but I’m proud to be an Aztek owner.

And my wife still loves me. You bet my sweet Aztek she does.